The eternal (love) triangle rears its ugly head in a storyline that's going to be of the cruelest proportions. It beggars the mind to wonder if really and truly imagination is stagnated on the programme to such an extent that people are afraid of actual character progression.
The best things about this episode tonight were two Carters - yes Carters! - Nancy and Shirley, the legend that is Bushra and the biggest surprise, Cora.
I'm actually amazed at how many people on this show whinge and whineabout being bad people and then go on being, well, bad people.
Let's start with the storyline that makes us all angry.
King Cock vs Team Nancy. Lacey Turner came back for this? I cling to the hope that this is the beginning of a bi-polar storyline, because I can't fathom how Stacey could be cruel and callous enough to stand face-to-face in front of Shabnam and have a giggle about the type of man she wanted, surreptitiously eyeing Shabnam's fiancé over her shoulder and whining about Martin being like a "big kid" when she wanted a man who would "knock her about a bit."
Really, Stacey? For all you Martin-haters, nodding their head in agreement to her assessment of him as a "big kid," may I remind you (and her) of another "big kid" who was a Star Wars fanatic? I'm speaking about the man she married, Bradley. She had a fair number of men who "knocked her about a bit," yet at the end, she returned to Bradley, and - until she returned to Walford - to Luke, who had the air of Bradley about him.
This was the episode which not only showed Stacey in an ugly light, but also Kush. Stacey strong-armed her way up against Nancy, the moral crusader - first shouting the odds after her in the market, protesting that Nancy had seen "nuffink." This was after Nancy had interrupted Shabnam's and Stacey's conversation, promising Shabnam to help her with the Iftar drive later. When Stacey's protests didn't budge Nancy's moral realism, she merely invaded her space at the cafe, pushing her way into the booth where Nancy sat and trying to passive-aggressively bully her into backing off. It was this scene which revealed that Stacey had gone beyond the moral pale now, when she patronisingly told Nancy how she, Stacey, used to be exactly the same as Nancy, holding everyone to her own high moral standards and interfering.
Did Nancy really think that Stacey would go after her best mate's fella? That still didn't budge Nancy.
From what I've heard, that never stopped you before.
No matter how much Stacey hard-faced it and fronted it out, Nancy wasn't phased with her protests; she was intent on telling Shabnam if Stacey wouldn't oblige. One of the most effective, wordless scenes was the one where Nancy, nonplussed, got up and left an angry Stacey sitting at the table. Only when Nancy left, did we see Stacey's face change from hard-faced bitchery to outright fear. Stacey had challenged Nancy based on the fact that Nancy knew nothing, having only been in the Square five minutes; she was quite shocked that Stacey's reputation had preceeded her.
So afraid was she that she sought Kush out to warn him what Nancy was about, only for Kush to receive a phonecall from an upset Shabnam, who was at the Community Centre with Nancy. You could just smell the farts of fright as Kush dashed off and Stacey made herself scarce.
And, tonight, I stand vindicated in my assessment of Kush as one Class A Penoid of the first degree. The way he stood, head lowered and glowering upward at Nancy as she went about tidying up, you could sense the threat in his stare; and of course, he's such a gentleman, and a liar. He chose his moment, and rather than wait for Nancy to make her accusation, he offered up his own version of events.
Stacey had come onto him. When she was drunk. She liked Kush, but Kush loved Shabnam ... and then he started into his standard line of defence: The Dead Wife Tale, although Kush can't bring himself to say that his wife was dead. Instead, he played the stultifyingly grief-numbed survivor ... you meet someone, something about spending your lives together, holidays, yadda yadda ... then she's suddenly gone. And then the sob story about him sleeping around (and around and around) until he'd met Shabnam.
Yep, just like Phil pushed Sharon under the morality bus all those years ago, Kush put all of the blame on Stacey - because that's what you do, blame the woman. Ever since Eve offered Adam an apple, it's been the woman's fault.
What. A. Cock.
All of this was played out against Shabnam being confronted with her daughter having cystic fibrosis and being offered a chance to re-connect with her once more. When she wisely told Masood that she had to tell Kush about this first, Kush had answered Stacey's plea to see him in her flat, after an extremely suss Nancy had, once again, confronted her. You see, Nancy isn't easily led, and she can smell a rat with the best of them, and no two rats are stinking more in the Square now than Kush and Stacey.
She coolly informed Stacey that Kush had levelled all the blame about their attraction on her, but Nancy knew that it took two to tango, and that he was a liar. Nancy leaves Stacey with a warning that if she ever sees Kush and Stacey with one another again, she's telling Shabnam.
So Stacey whines to Kush. Instead of being annoyed that he landed her in it, rather than deny the entire thing - and at least Kush was savvy enough to realise how tenacious Nancy was and that he was trying to cover his arse - she pursues him, actually ordering him to make a decision between (her words) "what he wanted."
Not whom he loved, but "what he wanted." All the time she was saying this, she was reiterating what a bad person she was and how she couldn't bear to look Shabnam in the face. In the end, as his fiancée was having the shit kicked out of her, Kush the Cock ignored Shabnam's call and went onto fuck Stacey.
Why do I feel that another "Who's the Daddy" storyline is rearing its head? And this is why I think that the show is stagnating in a big way with repetitive storylines.
These two, when the shit hits the fan, deserve all their just rewards and recriminations.
Carter Custody Capers. I'll give it to Shirley. No one drops a zinger like our Shirl. When Buster remarks at her sudden burst of meticulous housekeeping:-
I do clean. I'm not a dirty cow.
And the line of the night, when she wanted Dean's attention at the salon and demanded that Paul finish Dean's task:-
I'm sure he's no stranger to a blow-dry.
We all knew that Shirley had no intention of keeping Jade's visit a secret from Dean nor their intentions to apply for custody, although I don't see how they have a snowball's chance in hell of obtaining custody. Shirley has drinking issues and has a history of abandoning her children. She's also violent. Buster has spent most of his adult life in prison. Dean has a prison record and is an accused rapist and has anger issues.
They have no home.
The most disturbing scene of the night occurred between Shirley and Dean, when she forced Dean to tell her about his conversation with Buster which convinced him not to see his daughter. Poor deluded wapist ... Dean is convinced that "badness" is an inherited trait, like inheriting the gene for cystic fibrosis, and based on the fact that Buster had told Dean that Dean came from a long line of criminals - per se bad people - Dean is convinced that he's a bad person also.
Gee ... YA THINK?
For a moment, you think that Buster's done a good thing. He's convinced Dean to stay away from Jade, because Dean wants Jade for all the wrong reasons, and Buster is right'; but Shirley interprets this differently. She tells Dean that he and Jade are linked by the fact that neither of them knew their real fathers, but Dean has a chance to right that wrong; and he shouldn't worry about carrying on the trait of being bad like his father and grandfather or even thinking that Jade is bad.
Kevin brought Dean up, and Kevin was a good man. Dean learned everything positive about parenthood from Kevin.
But, then, Kevin never raped anyone. Dean's problems are deep-seeded in rejection, and that originated with his perceived rejection by his mother.
Shirley was always going to get Dean onside. She challenged Buster on her actions tonight, telling him that if he wasn't ready to support Dean, he could leave.
Buster is a man of principle.
Another Man of Principle. Patrick Trueman. A man who cannot be bought by fancy, expensive presents. He still doesn't trust Vincent, and his suspicions are aroused when he finds another staple of Albert Square daily life - a hold-all containing thousands of pounds in money. Of course, that's how everyone in Eastenders conducts business - bags full of money.
Vincent simply bores me.
James Forde Attempts Acting. And fails. Liam's tortured meanderings wondering if Cindy had suddenly fallen prey to an older rich man who'd bought her a cheap dress from the market was embarrassing. Even more embarrassing was the performance he phoned in when he was indignant to discover that Jane was paying Carol Cindy's room and board, and Carol had bought the dress with Jane's money. In LiamLand, Carol can conjure up food from a magic unicorn and doesn't need extra money for an extra mouth.
Can he leave tomorrow?
The Innocent That Is Shabnam, the Legend That Is Bushra and a Surprise. I'm upset that Shabnam is about to get played by the two people whom she trusts the most.
Bushra has balls and deserves a permanent spot in the show, as does the nice Imam. You can smack the shit out of Bushra, you can call her out on her hypocrisy, and she keeps coming back for more. She belongs on the Square.
Nancy gave a hint that those girls accused by Shabnam of trashing the Community Centre, when she referred to the fag-ends found as "old lady snout." The empty booze bottles were another clue, then there was the fleeting glimpse and finally, the haggard old crone, lighting up outside ... Cora. Obviously, Tanya didn't want her, and she's been lying low in the Community Centre.
Somewhere, a certain Duck is smiling. And ranting.
The best things about this episode tonight were two Carters - yes Carters! - Nancy and Shirley, the legend that is Bushra and the biggest surprise, Cora.
I'm actually amazed at how many people on this show whinge and whineabout being bad people and then go on being, well, bad people.
Let's start with the storyline that makes us all angry.
King Cock vs Team Nancy. Lacey Turner came back for this? I cling to the hope that this is the beginning of a bi-polar storyline, because I can't fathom how Stacey could be cruel and callous enough to stand face-to-face in front of Shabnam and have a giggle about the type of man she wanted, surreptitiously eyeing Shabnam's fiancé over her shoulder and whining about Martin being like a "big kid" when she wanted a man who would "knock her about a bit."
Really, Stacey? For all you Martin-haters, nodding their head in agreement to her assessment of him as a "big kid," may I remind you (and her) of another "big kid" who was a Star Wars fanatic? I'm speaking about the man she married, Bradley. She had a fair number of men who "knocked her about a bit," yet at the end, she returned to Bradley, and - until she returned to Walford - to Luke, who had the air of Bradley about him.
This was the episode which not only showed Stacey in an ugly light, but also Kush. Stacey strong-armed her way up against Nancy, the moral crusader - first shouting the odds after her in the market, protesting that Nancy had seen "nuffink." This was after Nancy had interrupted Shabnam's and Stacey's conversation, promising Shabnam to help her with the Iftar drive later. When Stacey's protests didn't budge Nancy's moral realism, she merely invaded her space at the cafe, pushing her way into the booth where Nancy sat and trying to passive-aggressively bully her into backing off. It was this scene which revealed that Stacey had gone beyond the moral pale now, when she patronisingly told Nancy how she, Stacey, used to be exactly the same as Nancy, holding everyone to her own high moral standards and interfering.
Did Nancy really think that Stacey would go after her best mate's fella? That still didn't budge Nancy.
From what I've heard, that never stopped you before.
No matter how much Stacey hard-faced it and fronted it out, Nancy wasn't phased with her protests; she was intent on telling Shabnam if Stacey wouldn't oblige. One of the most effective, wordless scenes was the one where Nancy, nonplussed, got up and left an angry Stacey sitting at the table. Only when Nancy left, did we see Stacey's face change from hard-faced bitchery to outright fear. Stacey had challenged Nancy based on the fact that Nancy knew nothing, having only been in the Square five minutes; she was quite shocked that Stacey's reputation had preceeded her.
So afraid was she that she sought Kush out to warn him what Nancy was about, only for Kush to receive a phonecall from an upset Shabnam, who was at the Community Centre with Nancy. You could just smell the farts of fright as Kush dashed off and Stacey made herself scarce.
And, tonight, I stand vindicated in my assessment of Kush as one Class A Penoid of the first degree. The way he stood, head lowered and glowering upward at Nancy as she went about tidying up, you could sense the threat in his stare; and of course, he's such a gentleman, and a liar. He chose his moment, and rather than wait for Nancy to make her accusation, he offered up his own version of events.
Stacey had come onto him. When she was drunk. She liked Kush, but Kush loved Shabnam ... and then he started into his standard line of defence: The Dead Wife Tale, although Kush can't bring himself to say that his wife was dead. Instead, he played the stultifyingly grief-numbed survivor ... you meet someone, something about spending your lives together, holidays, yadda yadda ... then she's suddenly gone. And then the sob story about him sleeping around (and around and around) until he'd met Shabnam.
Yep, just like Phil pushed Sharon under the morality bus all those years ago, Kush put all of the blame on Stacey - because that's what you do, blame the woman. Ever since Eve offered Adam an apple, it's been the woman's fault.
What. A. Cock.
All of this was played out against Shabnam being confronted with her daughter having cystic fibrosis and being offered a chance to re-connect with her once more. When she wisely told Masood that she had to tell Kush about this first, Kush had answered Stacey's plea to see him in her flat, after an extremely suss Nancy had, once again, confronted her. You see, Nancy isn't easily led, and she can smell a rat with the best of them, and no two rats are stinking more in the Square now than Kush and Stacey.
She coolly informed Stacey that Kush had levelled all the blame about their attraction on her, but Nancy knew that it took two to tango, and that he was a liar. Nancy leaves Stacey with a warning that if she ever sees Kush and Stacey with one another again, she's telling Shabnam.
So Stacey whines to Kush. Instead of being annoyed that he landed her in it, rather than deny the entire thing - and at least Kush was savvy enough to realise how tenacious Nancy was and that he was trying to cover his arse - she pursues him, actually ordering him to make a decision between (her words) "what he wanted."
Not whom he loved, but "what he wanted." All the time she was saying this, she was reiterating what a bad person she was and how she couldn't bear to look Shabnam in the face. In the end, as his fiancée was having the shit kicked out of her, Kush the Cock ignored Shabnam's call and went onto fuck Stacey.
Why do I feel that another "Who's the Daddy" storyline is rearing its head? And this is why I think that the show is stagnating in a big way with repetitive storylines.
These two, when the shit hits the fan, deserve all their just rewards and recriminations.
Carter Custody Capers. I'll give it to Shirley. No one drops a zinger like our Shirl. When Buster remarks at her sudden burst of meticulous housekeeping:-
I do clean. I'm not a dirty cow.
And the line of the night, when she wanted Dean's attention at the salon and demanded that Paul finish Dean's task:-
I'm sure he's no stranger to a blow-dry.
We all knew that Shirley had no intention of keeping Jade's visit a secret from Dean nor their intentions to apply for custody, although I don't see how they have a snowball's chance in hell of obtaining custody. Shirley has drinking issues and has a history of abandoning her children. She's also violent. Buster has spent most of his adult life in prison. Dean has a prison record and is an accused rapist and has anger issues.
They have no home.
The most disturbing scene of the night occurred between Shirley and Dean, when she forced Dean to tell her about his conversation with Buster which convinced him not to see his daughter. Poor deluded wapist ... Dean is convinced that "badness" is an inherited trait, like inheriting the gene for cystic fibrosis, and based on the fact that Buster had told Dean that Dean came from a long line of criminals - per se bad people - Dean is convinced that he's a bad person also.
Gee ... YA THINK?
For a moment, you think that Buster's done a good thing. He's convinced Dean to stay away from Jade, because Dean wants Jade for all the wrong reasons, and Buster is right'; but Shirley interprets this differently. She tells Dean that he and Jade are linked by the fact that neither of them knew their real fathers, but Dean has a chance to right that wrong; and he shouldn't worry about carrying on the trait of being bad like his father and grandfather or even thinking that Jade is bad.
Kevin brought Dean up, and Kevin was a good man. Dean learned everything positive about parenthood from Kevin.
But, then, Kevin never raped anyone. Dean's problems are deep-seeded in rejection, and that originated with his perceived rejection by his mother.
Shirley was always going to get Dean onside. She challenged Buster on her actions tonight, telling him that if he wasn't ready to support Dean, he could leave.
Buster is a man of principle.
Another Man of Principle. Patrick Trueman. A man who cannot be bought by fancy, expensive presents. He still doesn't trust Vincent, and his suspicions are aroused when he finds another staple of Albert Square daily life - a hold-all containing thousands of pounds in money. Of course, that's how everyone in Eastenders conducts business - bags full of money.
Vincent simply bores me.
James Forde Attempts Acting. And fails. Liam's tortured meanderings wondering if Cindy had suddenly fallen prey to an older rich man who'd bought her a cheap dress from the market was embarrassing. Even more embarrassing was the performance he phoned in when he was indignant to discover that Jane was paying Carol Cindy's room and board, and Carol had bought the dress with Jane's money. In LiamLand, Carol can conjure up food from a magic unicorn and doesn't need extra money for an extra mouth.
Can he leave tomorrow?
The Innocent That Is Shabnam, the Legend That Is Bushra and a Surprise. I'm upset that Shabnam is about to get played by the two people whom she trusts the most.
Bushra has balls and deserves a permanent spot in the show, as does the nice Imam. You can smack the shit out of Bushra, you can call her out on her hypocrisy, and she keeps coming back for more. She belongs on the Square.
Nancy gave a hint that those girls accused by Shabnam of trashing the Community Centre, when she referred to the fag-ends found as "old lady snout." The empty booze bottles were another clue, then there was the fleeting glimpse and finally, the haggard old crone, lighting up outside ... Cora. Obviously, Tanya didn't want her, and she's been lying low in the Community Centre.
Somewhere, a certain Duck is smiling. And ranting.
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