Haters gonna hate.
The Holy Saviour DTC tweeted yesterday that he was bringing Sharon back old-style.
Now I know there's a lot of Sharon-hate about, mostly on Digital Spy Swampbed, and mostly emanating from Millenials, those people who started watching the show from its 2.0 inception in 2006, including a few disgruntled Shannisites who started watching as children and who think that the Golden Age of the show was sun shining out of John Yorke's arse (believe me, it wasn't - try Matthew Robinson).
But Treadwell-Collins did go on record in 2010 as saying that Sharon was his absolute favourite character, and he's standing by that fact.
Let the psychopathic Ice Queen's face crack in its plastecene botoxed shell. Sharon's coming back. For the first time in awhile, too, I'm beginning to think that DTC is going to ensure that the show is written for the discriminating viewer, the people who know how to think critically and not those hyuck-hyuckers or creepy crawly stalking trolls who call themselves after their obsessed character's child's name.
Dare I say it ... EastEnders for Dummies is nearing its end.
Shame about tonight's episode.
The Inner Beale.
By far, the saving grace in what was, otherwise, an abysmal Friday night filler episode, was Michael French, whose last scene in the episode integrates him as much in his birthright as a member of the Square's original family as it does that cobbled-together retconned mess at Pat's old house.
From the look of concern as he passed his father's old fruit-and-veg pitch, noticing it unmanned, to his discovery of a beaten and battered Peter Beale,lying in the alleyway, he stepped up to the plate as Peter's uncle and, subsequently, will prove himself to be brother of Ian and son of Pete.
I'm Team David, too, in his attitude toward the cheesy Mr Clean, who's horned himself and his Spraggan sprogs in with the Butcher-Beale-Jacksons. His distrust of Tel-Le-Taxi is pure, unadulterated Pauline disdain coupled with a dollop of Lou distrust. Somewhere, these venerable dames are smiling down on their nephew and grandson.
Seeing Bianca the Village Idiot hand a wodge of money (given her by David) over to the eager hands of Tel-Le-Taxi, would only serve to reinforce David's idea that Terry is a sponger and a freeloader.
This man is a stranger, and Bianca's form for bringing strangers into her home is none too good; and because chicken-necked Carol's ego has been given a boost by attention from Masood and by knowing that David wants a comforting leg-over as well, she's all too wishy-washy for encouraging Bianca to be as impulsive as she was in the past and go with the flow with a stranger.
'E's the one.
Sorry, but didn't The Village Idiot say exactly the same thing about Ricky, especially when she was wailing like a banshee when Ricky turned up with Sam in tow and talking about marriage. If I recall correctly, so desperate was Bianca-La-Retarde that she shopped Sam to the police - this was the same Sam who, as seen above, had designs on being Bianca's stepmother. (It's mete to note, by the way, that Patsy Palmer is older than Jake Wood, who plays her uncle.)
We're gonna be the most amazing fairmly.
Er, no, you aren't. That's a line that presages doom and gloom, sturm und drang. Anytime a soap character makes an optimistic prediction, about their love or family life, that usually means things will go tits up in less than a year. Still, it's good to see EastEnders actually being factually accurate, for a change.
Bianca the Village Idiot attempts to enroll Tel-Le-Taxi's kids in the local schools, but is told that she cannot do so because she does not have parental rights.
Bra-VO!
Now, Research Department, explain to us how Alfie was able to enrol the infamous Shenice, on a day's notice and on a pithy phonecall from Shenice's mother in Spain, in Walford Primary? Or, how, more recently, Ian Beale was able to enrol Cindy Williams, no relation to him remotely in Walford High?
Parental rights is a legal obligation which stipulates that a person caring for a minor who isn't his birth or adoptive parent has the same rights as those parents. It's not something that can be arranged or established in a day. Shenice was just some kid who'd spent the summer visiting Alfie and Kat and stayed for a year. Cindy came for a visit and ended up living with the Beales, again - by virtue of a phonecall. And she'd only lived in that household a matter of weeks, which is the premise by which the Village Idiot is being judged by the authorities.
Although the swampscreamers on Digital Spy and the bullyboi hater-mongerers on Walford Web are creaming their y-fronts about how "nice" Tel-Le-Taxi is, he's cheesy. Plus, he's played by a crap actor ex-comedian. Sorry, but Shane Richie on his day can step forward and engage an audience in quality dramatics. This guy is a grinning dolt, strutting about the Square, playing Mr Nice Guy, exhibiting super parenting skills which are unbelieveable. If he's half as good as he seems to be, he's too good for the Walford Village Idiot,and he'll only have Carol's approval until she's dumped.
As for the kids, more obvious drama school kids, all too aware of their lines and their purpose. Hevva Junior is especially unlikeable. David stirring things about the insipid One Direction, in aiming her in one direction to Tiffany's room was classic, but is Hevva Junior that stupid to think she was entitled to actually remove Tiffany's things and play with them? (Although I'll give kudos to Spike-Le-Fils-du-Tel-Le-Taxi for calling Tiffany a precocious brat).
(Memo to the commentator on Digital Spy's episode thread: That's precocious, not precious. Do listen and try to increase your vocabulary).
Still, if Tiffany's a precocious brat, hadn't Spike-Le-Fils better look in the mirror, or is he slated to become the slimmed-down, better-looking male version of Abi the Dough-Faced Girl?
I'm not at all sure about this dad and his kids. No one is anything but superficially nice when they come to Walford, and everyone has a secret. I still say the homeless card sounded a bit dodgy, and this is yet another guy who's playing the cheeky chirpy cockney fairmly type. Give this bald geezer a couple of months, and he'll be either as disliked by the Millenials as Shane Richie is, or he'll be beating Bianca black and blue.
Not ...
Wasted Characters.
Now that I know Carl and Kirsty are leaving, I can't invest in either of them.
But let me begin by spelling something out to the numpties who are saying Carl is a worse villain than Derek.
First of all, Daniel Coonan is RSC, like Tracey-Ann Obermann, and that means he's seriously good as an actor. Secondly, for all you no-brainers whining about his "whispering", you're all obviously too young or too stupid to remember either Steve Owen or Beppe di Marco, both of whom spoke softly and could be, when they wanted, menacing. Steve killed someone in self-defence and managed to get off scot free.
Obviously, you don't know about the old parable of speaking softly and carrying a big stick. Look at the only female character on the Square who owns the fact that she's a bitch - Janine. Janine never shouts the odds or mouths off like Bianca or Kat or Roxy. She always speaks softly and rarely loses her temper. Yet at times Janine can be one of the most terrifying characters in the programme.
Carl had the possibility of being a nuanced villain of the old sort. With his backstory of his mother, weak father, and addicted brother, he could have been morphed into a hard man with depth, especially the way in which he managed to involve Ian, Max and Phil in his machinations. But, it seems, as soon as TPTB decided to drop his character, his storyline devolved into the ubiquitous aimless circle of the same scene different day - wandering around the Square, scaring Ian Beale, trying to banter with Phil, ogling Kirsty. TPTB turned him into a joke.
Daniel Coonan, in his exit interview, was right in his assessment of the show, as an actor and as someone who's watched the show from inception - it's no longer about flawed Alpha males who are conflicted between good and bad, it's all about love and deception. It's lost its mojo.
I actually felt sorry for Kirsty tonight.
In a couple of days, she's gone from the Branning spoiled brats defending her as "family" to being told by ...
THE. WORST. ACTRESS. EVER. TO. APPEAR. IN. EASTENDERS
The Holy Saviour DTC tweeted yesterday that he was bringing Sharon back old-style.
Now I know there's a lot of Sharon-hate about, mostly on Digital Spy Swampbed, and mostly emanating from Millenials, those people who started watching the show from its 2.0 inception in 2006, including a few disgruntled Shannisites who started watching as children and who think that the Golden Age of the show was sun shining out of John Yorke's arse (believe me, it wasn't - try Matthew Robinson).
But Treadwell-Collins did go on record in 2010 as saying that Sharon was his absolute favourite character, and he's standing by that fact.
Let the psychopathic Ice Queen's face crack in its plastecene botoxed shell. Sharon's coming back. For the first time in awhile, too, I'm beginning to think that DTC is going to ensure that the show is written for the discriminating viewer, the people who know how to think critically and not those hyuck-hyuckers or creepy crawly stalking trolls who call themselves after their obsessed character's child's name.
Dare I say it ... EastEnders for Dummies is nearing its end.
Shame about tonight's episode.
The Inner Beale.
By far, the saving grace in what was, otherwise, an abysmal Friday night filler episode, was Michael French, whose last scene in the episode integrates him as much in his birthright as a member of the Square's original family as it does that cobbled-together retconned mess at Pat's old house.
From the look of concern as he passed his father's old fruit-and-veg pitch, noticing it unmanned, to his discovery of a beaten and battered Peter Beale,lying in the alleyway, he stepped up to the plate as Peter's uncle and, subsequently, will prove himself to be brother of Ian and son of Pete.
I'm Team David, too, in his attitude toward the cheesy Mr Clean, who's horned himself and his Spraggan sprogs in with the Butcher-Beale-Jacksons. His distrust of Tel-Le-Taxi is pure, unadulterated Pauline disdain coupled with a dollop of Lou distrust. Somewhere, these venerable dames are smiling down on their nephew and grandson.
Seeing Bianca the Village Idiot hand a wodge of money (given her by David) over to the eager hands of Tel-Le-Taxi, would only serve to reinforce David's idea that Terry is a sponger and a freeloader.
This man is a stranger, and Bianca's form for bringing strangers into her home is none too good; and because chicken-necked Carol's ego has been given a boost by attention from Masood and by knowing that David wants a comforting leg-over as well, she's all too wishy-washy for encouraging Bianca to be as impulsive as she was in the past and go with the flow with a stranger.
'E's the one.
Sorry, but didn't The Village Idiot say exactly the same thing about Ricky, especially when she was wailing like a banshee when Ricky turned up with Sam in tow and talking about marriage. If I recall correctly, so desperate was Bianca-La-Retarde that she shopped Sam to the police - this was the same Sam who, as seen above, had designs on being Bianca's stepmother. (It's mete to note, by the way, that Patsy Palmer is older than Jake Wood, who plays her uncle.)
We're gonna be the most amazing fairmly.
Er, no, you aren't. That's a line that presages doom and gloom, sturm und drang. Anytime a soap character makes an optimistic prediction, about their love or family life, that usually means things will go tits up in less than a year. Still, it's good to see EastEnders actually being factually accurate, for a change.
Bianca the Village Idiot attempts to enroll Tel-Le-Taxi's kids in the local schools, but is told that she cannot do so because she does not have parental rights.
Bra-VO!
Now, Research Department, explain to us how Alfie was able to enrol the infamous Shenice, on a day's notice and on a pithy phonecall from Shenice's mother in Spain, in Walford Primary? Or, how, more recently, Ian Beale was able to enrol Cindy Williams, no relation to him remotely in Walford High?
Parental rights is a legal obligation which stipulates that a person caring for a minor who isn't his birth or adoptive parent has the same rights as those parents. It's not something that can be arranged or established in a day. Shenice was just some kid who'd spent the summer visiting Alfie and Kat and stayed for a year. Cindy came for a visit and ended up living with the Beales, again - by virtue of a phonecall. And she'd only lived in that household a matter of weeks, which is the premise by which the Village Idiot is being judged by the authorities.
Although the swampscreamers on Digital Spy and the bullyboi hater-mongerers on Walford Web are creaming their y-fronts about how "nice" Tel-Le-Taxi is, he's cheesy. Plus, he's played by a crap actor ex-comedian. Sorry, but Shane Richie on his day can step forward and engage an audience in quality dramatics. This guy is a grinning dolt, strutting about the Square, playing Mr Nice Guy, exhibiting super parenting skills which are unbelieveable. If he's half as good as he seems to be, he's too good for the Walford Village Idiot,and he'll only have Carol's approval until she's dumped.
As for the kids, more obvious drama school kids, all too aware of their lines and their purpose. Hevva Junior is especially unlikeable. David stirring things about the insipid One Direction, in aiming her in one direction to Tiffany's room was classic, but is Hevva Junior that stupid to think she was entitled to actually remove Tiffany's things and play with them? (Although I'll give kudos to Spike-Le-Fils-du-Tel-Le-Taxi for calling Tiffany a precocious brat).
(Memo to the commentator on Digital Spy's episode thread: That's precocious, not precious. Do listen and try to increase your vocabulary).
Still, if Tiffany's a precocious brat, hadn't Spike-Le-Fils better look in the mirror, or is he slated to become the slimmed-down, better-looking male version of Abi the Dough-Faced Girl?
I'm not at all sure about this dad and his kids. No one is anything but superficially nice when they come to Walford, and everyone has a secret. I still say the homeless card sounded a bit dodgy, and this is yet another guy who's playing the cheeky chirpy cockney fairmly type. Give this bald geezer a couple of months, and he'll be either as disliked by the Millenials as Shane Richie is, or he'll be beating Bianca black and blue.
Not ...
Now that I know Carl and Kirsty are leaving, I can't invest in either of them.
But let me begin by spelling something out to the numpties who are saying Carl is a worse villain than Derek.
First of all, Daniel Coonan is RSC, like Tracey-Ann Obermann, and that means he's seriously good as an actor. Secondly, for all you no-brainers whining about his "whispering", you're all obviously too young or too stupid to remember either Steve Owen or Beppe di Marco, both of whom spoke softly and could be, when they wanted, menacing. Steve killed someone in self-defence and managed to get off scot free.
Obviously, you don't know about the old parable of speaking softly and carrying a big stick. Look at the only female character on the Square who owns the fact that she's a bitch - Janine. Janine never shouts the odds or mouths off like Bianca or Kat or Roxy. She always speaks softly and rarely loses her temper. Yet at times Janine can be one of the most terrifying characters in the programme.
Carl had the possibility of being a nuanced villain of the old sort. With his backstory of his mother, weak father, and addicted brother, he could have been morphed into a hard man with depth, especially the way in which he managed to involve Ian, Max and Phil in his machinations. But, it seems, as soon as TPTB decided to drop his character, his storyline devolved into the ubiquitous aimless circle of the same scene different day - wandering around the Square, scaring Ian Beale, trying to banter with Phil, ogling Kirsty. TPTB turned him into a joke.
Daniel Coonan, in his exit interview, was right in his assessment of the show, as an actor and as someone who's watched the show from inception - it's no longer about flawed Alpha males who are conflicted between good and bad, it's all about love and deception. It's lost its mojo.
I actually felt sorry for Kirsty tonight.
In a couple of days, she's gone from the Branning spoiled brats defending her as "family" to being told by ...
THE. WORST. ACTRESS. EVER. TO. APPEAR. IN. EASTENDERS
that she was surplus to requirements for getting money off a loan shark to pay Max's legal fees.
Hang on a minute ...
One question: Where the fuck is Jack?
Am I the only person to remember that infamous kitchen scene right after Max was arrested, with Jack sitting at the table promising Kirsty and the girls that he would take care of all their bills, including the legal matters?
But then, I suppose Uncle Jack got distracted when his psychopathic ex-wife showed up for a shag, and he totally lost it when she dumped him, after using his money to re-decorate his flat. I doubt they even know where he is or what planet he's on, so so much for the famous Branning family pull-together.
Kirsty is trying to keep body and soul together, and when the going gets tough, Lauren's and Abi's answer is to "suggest" that she leave. OK, Brain of Branning, kick her out and face the bailiffs, yourself. They'd take everything, including Cora-the-Bora's inhaler and then you'd have to wipe Abi's fat arse, she'd be so scared.
This is Newman's pathetic last-ditch attempt to redeem Lauren's skanky character, easily one of the most unlikeable young characters in the show's history. Now it's a pity party, regaling Peter Beale with all their woes - Max is going down (and not on a woman), and poor,unintelligible Joey is in meltdown because Alice stabbed the other Walford psychopath.
Intimidating witnesses or their families must be a Branning family trait akin to wife-sharing and cousing-fucking. Only now, it seems Lauren isn't addicted to booze as much as she's addicted to lardy-arsed Manc men, one in particular who looks as though he could do with a scrubdown in a bathtub filled with lye soap.
Not only are the Branning brats at odds with Kirsty for no good reason, it seems that Kat is as well, I found their budding friendship believeable, so why was she talking to her as though she were a piece of shit? And since when did Bianca have something against Kirsty?
The Village Idiot was never that close to or friendly with Tanya, so she owed her no loyalty. When Bianca was hard up, all Tanya would spare them was a bowl of roast spuds and some wine. Kirsty couldn't even steal money off their stall, whereas we all know of what Bianca is capable. I didn't like Bianca's snide dig at her, telling her to take the rest of the day off and not come back. It's not Kirsty's fault that Max is in prison.When Bianca's in financia trouble, she whines to anyone and everyone as if she's entitled to be helped by them. Yet she shows no compassion at all for anyone outside her immediate menagerie of occasional made-up relatives. Carol is like that too, and it's an ugly trait. I'm glad Kirsty stuck the boot in about Roxy and Alfie's wedding to sour-faced Kat.
Still, I suppose that this is in line with TPTB making a departing character as unlikeable as possible before they leave.
She's going to sleep with Carl, and I would imagine in the heat of that one moment, she does want to wash her hands of Max, who's refusing to see her, and his spoiled children; but in the cold light of the morning, she discovers a nest egg. Clue the money Peter Beale gave Carl, who put it in the drawer beside his bed. (I do declare that Carl has the same room Kirsty had at the B and B.) Of course, we can almost guess that Carl will relish telling Max that she slept with him, which will be Kirsty's one-way ticket from Walford.
Shame. Keirston Wareing is a good actress and yet another whom this tenure of EastEnders has ruined.
The Emasculation of Ian Beale and the Incipient Humiliation of Denise Fox.
The new regime needs to supply Ian Beale with a new backbone. This mealy-mouthed crybaby, leaning on his children for moral support needs to man up. And Denise needs to find out quickly that she was being lied to all around, like Jane - and get out of that relationship before it becomes too toxic and she leaves in a taxi.
I like Peter, however. And David. Not much else tonight.
Situation Normal (which means "all fucked up").
Another bang on review.
ReplyDeleteGood look to the Branning leftovers now they've kicked out the wrong elder. As the saying goes "don't bite the hand that feeds you" especially if the one that replaces it is a fat, miserable, lazy old alcoholic trout that never does anything other than for her own self.
I'm really pissed about Carl leaving, and I dread the smug looks that will be a plenty when eventually leaves the square, so I have to admit that I was glad to see that he'd taken care of Peter.
Peter had it coming, what a mug. Like £500 would be enough to get Carl of his Dad's back. Carl HAD to send that message to warn Ian & Peter that he means business. I like Peter so my only complaint is that the wrong Beale took the beating as yet again someone else is fighting Ian's battles - this time his kids - is there anyone this pussy won't cower behind ?
Yes, poor Krusty was given a rough deal tonight. 1st by the Branning brats for no good reason - the fickle little bitches. Then FatKat, followed by the trotter retard.
ReplyDeleteThe retard trotter had a fucking cheek, telling her to do one as she wasn't needed anymore. The retarded trotter & FatKat should have been thanking Kirsty for doing the retards job while she was swanning around up North 'bettering herself' with a nonce having dumped not only the stall but her scutter kids as well.
I would've thought FatKat would've been a bit more grateful as Kirsty seems to have spent more time on the stall than the retarded trotter ever managed.