Annoying montages like bookends apart, this wasn't a bad episode - apart from the endlessly boring stereotypical teenaged shit enacted by 2 non-teenagers and a walking chin and nose - oh, and Denise's obvious plagiarism.
It was high on kitsch, overt sentimentality, moralisng, obvious foreshadowing, and a smidgeon of trite sitcommery. Somewhere not too far from here, a plaintive soul is waxing lyrcal in the provincial wilderness of all the awe-inspiring wonders of this episode.
But that ain't here. Here, you'll only get the truth, love.
Roxy's Story. What a way to go out - the continued downward pummelling of Roxy. It's not enough to marginalise her, all of a sudden, people who, before, had either ignored her behaviour altogether (Phil) or obsessively controlled her (Ronnie) are nit-picking and finding fault.
Yes, we know Roxy is an ageing dollybird, two years away from forty, who dresses and acts like she's 18 and leaving the next day for a Club 18-30 holiday in Ibiza. We also know that Ronnie actively encouraged the continued infantilisatio of Roxy, to the point that Roxy, herself, was a sad, self-fulfilling prophecy - Roxy would start out on something (a partying spree, a line of cocaine, a new boyfriend who was a bad boy), she'd make a mess, and Ronnie would be hot on her heals, "sorting things out" (usually, if that meant a man, it meant scaring him away), and hectoring Roxy with a never-ending cascade of "I-told-you-sos" with a dab of "no one-can-look-after-you-like-me" and an dash of "you're mah sisTAH" for good measure.
Result is that Roxy believes all that shit now, and all of a sudden, now that Ronnie thinks no one will ever get around to making her pay for killing Carl White and Fatboy and scaring poor Charlie Cotton away, and now that she's got the ready-made family she's tried to get for so long (even kidnapping someone else's baby), now Ronnie thinks Roxy, the co-dependent creature she created, needs to stand on her own two feet, dig deep to find some responsibility and buck up.
And now, whenever Roxy tries to do right, she inevitably does wrone.
Tonight, she was ticked off by Phil, suddenly playing the responsible father to Louise and Dennis, because she'd quaffed a bitch load of wine and booze during the weekend and, by Monday morning, was conked out dead to the world on the sofa - when the woman Louise, looking 25 and with lines that Lauren Branning would beg for, asked her for some advice about how boys act around girls they've slept with for the first time.
Roxy has a room deep within the entrails of the Mitchell tardis house, and the rules there are: No Booze, because of Phil. Actually, the advice Phil gave her was sound - she shouldn't go looking for the answer to whatever is troubling her in the bottom of a bottle, because it ain't there - and Phil should know. The line is no more drinking or drunken behaviour in front of Louise and Dennis, who've been exposed to enough shit like that. If Roxy can't buck up her ideas, Phil will sling her out into the streets.
Roxy shouldn't be surprised at this sort of attitude. Phil's a recovering alcoholic, and if separating himself physically from booze is going to help his situation, then this is what must be done. Also, Phil has never liked Roxy. He's actually never liked either of the Blisters or their father, but he particularly has never liked Roxy.
And is it me or have TPTB made Ronnie that much more smug and condescending since this "Beat-Roxy-with-a-Plow" storyline emerged? There seems to be a contest for SmugFace of the Year with the final contestants being Ronnie and Denise. Their pride, smugness and general arrogance go a great distance.
I just thought the way Ronnie asked Roxy if Roxy would "like" to pick up Amy after school as Ronnie couldn't quite condescending and patronising. Still, it set Roxy up for an epic fail, because she got distracted by Louise and Rebecca needing sexual counselling - and sex is something about which Roxy knows a great deal.
This resulted in Ronnie giving Roxy the mother of all dressing-downs, reminding her how she always fails when it comes to Amy - when has this happened? For the most part, Roxy's been a feckless mother, but she's been a loving mother and always provided security for Amy. None of this would have arisen, had Roxy not given the care and custody temporarily to Jack at the beginning of the year in the wake of the attempted rape by Dean. She had to go away and give herself some space - the problem was that TPTB had Roxy, who left acknowledging that Ronnie was as much a control freak as Dean and that Ronnie wasn't very good for her, fucked up in the biggest way whilst away from Amy, and Jack held tight to the child when she returned up to her neck in cocaine dealing.
The one brilliant thing to come out of this storyline has been the growing friendship between Donna and Roxy. Until now, Roxy had never had any real friends at all, apart from Ronnie - they took the sibling-friend motif to an art form. But Donna and Roxy are good together. Donna's a good mate. She's encouraging, she's steadfast and she refuses to give up on Roxy. Even when Roxy wants to quit the stall to enable Donna to find someone more reliable, Donna refuses to consider this. Instead, she suggest that she accompany her to the rehearsal of the Christmas play, and it's there that Roxy has an epiphany of sorts, listening to Scrooge's soliloquy about the life he's led, made in the presence of the silent Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (played by a dialogue-less Billy Mitchell, in one of the many sitcom moments in this fare: Billy's still too stupid to be trusted with any dialogue by the exquisitely plagiaristic Denise.
Does this sound familiar from the show tonight?
Anyway, Roxy takes these words to heart and scurries off, followed by Donna, to the pub, where she wonders if she can truly change her life. Donna listens and gives her advice, as a true mate, she says. And we all know that true mates tell you things, with honestly, that you don't want to hear.
And here's the rub: Donna says Roxy has to start changing her life by doing what was best for Amy - cue the kitsch Christmas music, and a scene of Mummy Ronnie and Daddy Jack, comforting little Amy who's had a nightmare. Then we have Donna, in a voiceover, explain to Roxy that the best thing her mother had done for her was put her into care, so she could get the specialist attention that she needed. Therefore, Roxy needs to let Amy go. In order for Roxy to heal herself and get her head straight, Roxy needs to allow Ronnie and Jack to adopt Amy.
Adopt Amy? You say. Jack is Amy's father. Well, yes, he's her biological father, but when Amy was born, Roxy was married to no less than Sean Slater, who believed he was Amy's father, and it's Sean Slater who's listed on Amy's birth certificate and her legal father. Jack would have to adopt Amy.
Denise Does Dickens and Deceives the Dummies. No wonder the yokels of Walford think Denise has suddenly unleashed a superior writing talent, unlike anything they've ever read {those that can read).
With words like "wither" (which neither Billy nor his 8 year-old son has heard of), something sounded peculiarly familiar about this dialogue --- until I realised that the dialogue wasn't a product of Denise's imagination or ability at all. She's taken the dialogue word for word from Dickens.
Since she's never read the work, my guess is that she's got hold of a handy crib notes edition, and familiarised herself with the story, then went through the work, itself and copied the dialogue she needed.
Take a bow, Denise. This is called plagiarism.
Like Donald Trump evading taxes because he thinks he's smart, this is what Denise thinks as well, She's lapping up the praise for using Dickens's work. And that's illegal.
In an obvious tribute to the importance of this show, the episode began with a montage of Patrick, Jay (who's obviously playing the white younger Scrooge to the black older Scrooge), Mick and voiceless Billy rehearsingDickens's Denise's lines.
The End of an Era. Dot's had a beginning and an end. She's arranged to begin treatment for AMD that very afternoon, and tells Patrick as such when he calls around the launderette. However, Dot's received a letter, about which she subsequently tells Patrick. The launderette is closing on Christmas Eve, and Dot muses about how busy the place used to be, how Dot knew everyone and people would use the launderette as a means of passing the time of day whilst doing their washing. Rhetorically, she wonders what's happened.
(I can tell you, Dot. People got washing machines.)
Later, over tea, Dot and Patrick muse about the changes affecting their lives. None the wiser, Dot goes on and on about Patrick being Denise's birth partner, how he'd be the first to see the baby and a bond would be forged. She doesn't know that Denise (for now, anyway) is planning to give the blessed Mitchell Rainbow Christ Child up for adoption - just like Roxy is being coerced into doing with Amy.
Dot doesn't feel it's appropriate to put up Christmas decorations in the launderette, but - without telling her about Denise's plans, Patrick convinces her, not only to decorate the launderette, but to have a farewell party, We later see her decorating the launderette to a Christmas tune and another montage.
The Never-Ending Borefest. Poor, dumbass Rebecca, the walking chin and nose. Honestly, those are the only things you ever see about Rebecca, her chic jutted upward and her nose, often red.
She's been stonking around all weekend because after sleeping with her - gettng his leg over - Shakil doesn't want to know her. She's bloody rude to Stacey about something that's her own fault, and taking Roxy's advice, she storms over to Shakil's house and demands that he not walk away from this situation. Using the standard EastEnders' phrase, they need to talk. There's just one problem ... Shakil won't talk because he can't talk. He can only mumble and look agitated. And, no, they aren't a couple now, so watch out because he'll begin to talk.
The race to lose one's virginity is a laugh on EastEnders. If a girl hasn't got pregnant by fourteen, she has to pop that cherry by the tiem she's sixteen, even though most girls, on average, in the UK lose their virginity closer to eighteen than not. Did she honestly think that Shakil loved her? Has no one told her that a boy will say anything to get what he wants, and Rebecca offered it to him on a plate.
Time and time again, she was told by all and sundry to do nothing foe which she isn't ready, but she was more afraid of losing that lump of shit than maintaining her own integrity.
She's about to learn otherwise.
Awful cahracter, awful teens. Pretty awful state at the moment.
It was high on kitsch, overt sentimentality, moralisng, obvious foreshadowing, and a smidgeon of trite sitcommery. Somewhere not too far from here, a plaintive soul is waxing lyrcal in the provincial wilderness of all the awe-inspiring wonders of this episode.
But that ain't here. Here, you'll only get the truth, love.
Roxy's Story. What a way to go out - the continued downward pummelling of Roxy. It's not enough to marginalise her, all of a sudden, people who, before, had either ignored her behaviour altogether (Phil) or obsessively controlled her (Ronnie) are nit-picking and finding fault.
Yes, we know Roxy is an ageing dollybird, two years away from forty, who dresses and acts like she's 18 and leaving the next day for a Club 18-30 holiday in Ibiza. We also know that Ronnie actively encouraged the continued infantilisatio of Roxy, to the point that Roxy, herself, was a sad, self-fulfilling prophecy - Roxy would start out on something (a partying spree, a line of cocaine, a new boyfriend who was a bad boy), she'd make a mess, and Ronnie would be hot on her heals, "sorting things out" (usually, if that meant a man, it meant scaring him away), and hectoring Roxy with a never-ending cascade of "I-told-you-sos" with a dab of "no one-can-look-after-you-like-me" and an dash of "you're mah sisTAH" for good measure.
Result is that Roxy believes all that shit now, and all of a sudden, now that Ronnie thinks no one will ever get around to making her pay for killing Carl White and Fatboy and scaring poor Charlie Cotton away, and now that she's got the ready-made family she's tried to get for so long (even kidnapping someone else's baby), now Ronnie thinks Roxy, the co-dependent creature she created, needs to stand on her own two feet, dig deep to find some responsibility and buck up.
And now, whenever Roxy tries to do right, she inevitably does wrone.
Tonight, she was ticked off by Phil, suddenly playing the responsible father to Louise and Dennis, because she'd quaffed a bitch load of wine and booze during the weekend and, by Monday morning, was conked out dead to the world on the sofa - when the woman Louise, looking 25 and with lines that Lauren Branning would beg for, asked her for some advice about how boys act around girls they've slept with for the first time.
Roxy has a room deep within the entrails of the Mitchell tardis house, and the rules there are: No Booze, because of Phil. Actually, the advice Phil gave her was sound - she shouldn't go looking for the answer to whatever is troubling her in the bottom of a bottle, because it ain't there - and Phil should know. The line is no more drinking or drunken behaviour in front of Louise and Dennis, who've been exposed to enough shit like that. If Roxy can't buck up her ideas, Phil will sling her out into the streets.
Roxy shouldn't be surprised at this sort of attitude. Phil's a recovering alcoholic, and if separating himself physically from booze is going to help his situation, then this is what must be done. Also, Phil has never liked Roxy. He's actually never liked either of the Blisters or their father, but he particularly has never liked Roxy.
And is it me or have TPTB made Ronnie that much more smug and condescending since this "Beat-Roxy-with-a-Plow" storyline emerged? There seems to be a contest for SmugFace of the Year with the final contestants being Ronnie and Denise. Their pride, smugness and general arrogance go a great distance.
I just thought the way Ronnie asked Roxy if Roxy would "like" to pick up Amy after school as Ronnie couldn't quite condescending and patronising. Still, it set Roxy up for an epic fail, because she got distracted by Louise and Rebecca needing sexual counselling - and sex is something about which Roxy knows a great deal.
This resulted in Ronnie giving Roxy the mother of all dressing-downs, reminding her how she always fails when it comes to Amy - when has this happened? For the most part, Roxy's been a feckless mother, but she's been a loving mother and always provided security for Amy. None of this would have arisen, had Roxy not given the care and custody temporarily to Jack at the beginning of the year in the wake of the attempted rape by Dean. She had to go away and give herself some space - the problem was that TPTB had Roxy, who left acknowledging that Ronnie was as much a control freak as Dean and that Ronnie wasn't very good for her, fucked up in the biggest way whilst away from Amy, and Jack held tight to the child when she returned up to her neck in cocaine dealing.
The one brilliant thing to come out of this storyline has been the growing friendship between Donna and Roxy. Until now, Roxy had never had any real friends at all, apart from Ronnie - they took the sibling-friend motif to an art form. But Donna and Roxy are good together. Donna's a good mate. She's encouraging, she's steadfast and she refuses to give up on Roxy. Even when Roxy wants to quit the stall to enable Donna to find someone more reliable, Donna refuses to consider this. Instead, she suggest that she accompany her to the rehearsal of the Christmas play, and it's there that Roxy has an epiphany of sorts, listening to Scrooge's soliloquy about the life he's led, made in the presence of the silent Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (played by a dialogue-less Billy Mitchell, in one of the many sitcom moments in this fare: Billy's still too stupid to be trusted with any dialogue by the exquisitely plagiaristic Denise.
Does this sound familiar from the show tonight?
Anyway, Roxy takes these words to heart and scurries off, followed by Donna, to the pub, where she wonders if she can truly change her life. Donna listens and gives her advice, as a true mate, she says. And we all know that true mates tell you things, with honestly, that you don't want to hear.
And here's the rub: Donna says Roxy has to start changing her life by doing what was best for Amy - cue the kitsch Christmas music, and a scene of Mummy Ronnie and Daddy Jack, comforting little Amy who's had a nightmare. Then we have Donna, in a voiceover, explain to Roxy that the best thing her mother had done for her was put her into care, so she could get the specialist attention that she needed. Therefore, Roxy needs to let Amy go. In order for Roxy to heal herself and get her head straight, Roxy needs to allow Ronnie and Jack to adopt Amy.
Adopt Amy? You say. Jack is Amy's father. Well, yes, he's her biological father, but when Amy was born, Roxy was married to no less than Sean Slater, who believed he was Amy's father, and it's Sean Slater who's listed on Amy's birth certificate and her legal father. Jack would have to adopt Amy.
Denise Does Dickens and Deceives the Dummies. No wonder the yokels of Walford think Denise has suddenly unleashed a superior writing talent, unlike anything they've ever read {those that can read).
With words like "wither" (which neither Billy nor his 8 year-old son has heard of), something sounded peculiarly familiar about this dialogue --- until I realised that the dialogue wasn't a product of Denise's imagination or ability at all. She's taken the dialogue word for word from Dickens.
Since she's never read the work, my guess is that she's got hold of a handy crib notes edition, and familiarised herself with the story, then went through the work, itself and copied the dialogue she needed.
Take a bow, Denise. This is called plagiarism.
Like Donald Trump evading taxes because he thinks he's smart, this is what Denise thinks as well, She's lapping up the praise for using Dickens's work. And that's illegal.
In an obvious tribute to the importance of this show, the episode began with a montage of Patrick, Jay (who's obviously playing the white younger Scrooge to the black older Scrooge), Mick and voiceless Billy rehearsing
The End of an Era. Dot's had a beginning and an end. She's arranged to begin treatment for AMD that very afternoon, and tells Patrick as such when he calls around the launderette. However, Dot's received a letter, about which she subsequently tells Patrick. The launderette is closing on Christmas Eve, and Dot muses about how busy the place used to be, how Dot knew everyone and people would use the launderette as a means of passing the time of day whilst doing their washing. Rhetorically, she wonders what's happened.
(I can tell you, Dot. People got washing machines.)
Later, over tea, Dot and Patrick muse about the changes affecting their lives. None the wiser, Dot goes on and on about Patrick being Denise's birth partner, how he'd be the first to see the baby and a bond would be forged. She doesn't know that Denise (for now, anyway) is planning to give the blessed Mitchell Rainbow Christ Child up for adoption - just like Roxy is being coerced into doing with Amy.
Dot doesn't feel it's appropriate to put up Christmas decorations in the launderette, but - without telling her about Denise's plans, Patrick convinces her, not only to decorate the launderette, but to have a farewell party, We later see her decorating the launderette to a Christmas tune and another montage.
The Never-Ending Borefest. Poor, dumbass Rebecca, the walking chin and nose. Honestly, those are the only things you ever see about Rebecca, her chic jutted upward and her nose, often red.
She's been stonking around all weekend because after sleeping with her - gettng his leg over - Shakil doesn't want to know her. She's bloody rude to Stacey about something that's her own fault, and taking Roxy's advice, she storms over to Shakil's house and demands that he not walk away from this situation. Using the standard EastEnders' phrase, they need to talk. There's just one problem ... Shakil won't talk because he can't talk. He can only mumble and look agitated. And, no, they aren't a couple now, so watch out because he'll begin to talk.
The race to lose one's virginity is a laugh on EastEnders. If a girl hasn't got pregnant by fourteen, she has to pop that cherry by the tiem she's sixteen, even though most girls, on average, in the UK lose their virginity closer to eighteen than not. Did she honestly think that Shakil loved her? Has no one told her that a boy will say anything to get what he wants, and Rebecca offered it to him on a plate.
Time and time again, she was told by all and sundry to do nothing foe which she isn't ready, but she was more afraid of losing that lump of shit than maintaining her own integrity.
She's about to learn otherwise.
Awful cahracter, awful teens. Pretty awful state at the moment.
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