This is the lowest I've ever rated this programme. Not even Bryan Kirkwood, who ripped the soul out of the show, not even Newman's attempt at warmth, not even DTC's rewriting of established history and sensationalism ever ranked a rating of 2 out of 10,
Leave it to Sean O'Connor to resort to the vile attempt of blantant emotional blackmail to con us into involvement in what is rapidly turning into a show spiralling out of control.
Tune in and watch or the dog dies!
This was the Carters at their absolute worst, the ragtag scag-end remains of what was once Dominic Treadwell-Collins's prize creation, his family on film. Now Shirley is reduced to skulking about the "community" (the operative word on O'Connor's watch), sniping at the appointed bar manager (a piece of beefcake with an off-screen reputation and the air of a poseur) and pretending she doesn't care about an injured animal, whilst being mildly belligerant towards Abi as if she should know more about Lady Di's injuries than any normal receptionist shoould.With Sylvie's death (something that's almost forgotten by Shirley and relegated to the bottom of a list topped by her disdain for Woody the Wood), Tina sinks back into irrelevance, the childlike appendage tacked onto the pub family who sits in the corner mindlessly murmuring platitudes and joining in the litany or worry about Lady Di.
Johnny and Whitney are the runts of the Carter litter. Whitney isn't even a Carter- why are they tolerating her presence there? We need the truth about her part in Lee actually being driven away to be exposed. Today is actually "Mental Health Thursday" in the UK, with the BBC devoting exclusive time to pubicising the need for mental health awareness and treatment. Good thing, EastEnders wasn't approached to be part of a positive message. O'Connor's message would be that anyone suffering from depression should be constantly berated for their shortcomings, told to man up and then driven away from the com-MYOOOON-ity because depressed people always do better away from a core of something that's supposed to offer comfort and support. Listening to Alastair Campbell, a long-time sufferer of depression and a high-profile member of the public, talk about how many times in his youth he was told the same things Mick told Lee made me think about Lee's story and the inadvertant parts Mick and Whitney played in his downfall. The storyline could have been used to show the general ignorance of people who happen to have a loved one who suffers from a mental illness, but instead, this entire fiasco is still being presented with Lee depicted as the bad egg, the villain, the deplorable who did so badly by Whitney that it's she whom the family have chosed to succour and condole.
The sense of community was part of the shaggy dog story, with as unlikely residents as Vincent, who spends more time in the Vic than he does his own pub, and Kathy, both of whom had never even thought of the dog before, going out of their way to ask about Lady Di, with Kathy even urging a free coffee onto Shirley - ever mindful of the fact that she had been sleeping with Shirley's partner. If that wasn't enough, we were subjected to a homily of the efficacy of pet-owning by Carmel, who - in true Carmel fashion - managed to make this crisis all about herself, by brinigng up the fact that her cat hated being cuddled by her. (I would think anyone, including her sons, would hate to be cuddled by Carmel) - and she even preened at a poor attempt at a compliment by the new bar manager with the overtly priapic name.
Everyone was involved in worrying about Lady Di - Kathy, Vincent, Carmel, Abi (who got "good vibes" about the dog's condition for which she'll probably now get heaps of blame for being mistaken)- even Woody the Woodman bought her a squeaky toy, in which Tina, now resorting to five year-old mode again, delighted in squeaking.
We even got that old soap trope, the ubiquitous false message of mistaken good hope - Shirley hearing what she wanted to hear in the vet's message: no injuries to Lady Di, she could come home, but the vet wanted to see them. Sorry, but doesn't that raise alarm bells for most people? Sorry, Ms Carter, your dog survived the roof collapsing on her, and she can go home, but I'd like a word, please.
You'd feel the hackles on your neck rise, wouldn't you? Apparently not the slap-happy Carters. True to form, as well, with Mick not present, we still feel his unseen presence in the phone calls from Bulgaria every five minutes, constant reminders of how Mick didn't want the pet, but now wouldn't be seen without her, right down to reports of his deafening scream when Shirley reported the mistaken good news. Weird observation ... but EastEnders is big at the moment in allowing viewers to hear voices on the other end of telephone conversations, even voices whose characters aren't a part of the tangible fabric (to use Michelle's favourite word of the moment) on the Square. We heard Sharon's voice n the phone when she was on holiday, we heard Mrs Prestonovich's dulcet American tones, and tonight we heard Phil calling Sharon.
We didn't hear Mick on the other end of the phone.
And, as usual, the Carters are keeping Linda in the dark about what happened with Lady Di, the dog actually being Linda's pet. Why change the habit of a lifetime?
You could predict the outcome of the situation when that quartet of useful idiots trooped into the vet's surgery, full of misbegotten hope, only to be told that Lady Di had been suffering for months from what is essentially bulldog pneumonia, a condition caused by swallowing foreign matter, usually bits of regurgitated food contained in vomit. There should have been other symptoms as well. IIRC, Abi actually suggested that they take her to the vet, but as that would have cost money, they took Abi's more expensive suggestion to heart and bought her the designer crate, with money Whitney stole from Vincent. It saved her life, but now they have to decide between £8000 to treat Lady Di's condition or £8000 to pay for a new roof.
Does Whitney still have Vincent's credit card? How much money is Mick wasting on his expensive Smartphone calling every five minutes from Bulgaria? How does Whitney afford those expensive nails? Has anyone ever heard of GoFundMe? Will Lady Di die? Maybe this is yet another chance for the Com-MYOOOON-ity to band together and save Lady Di -ne'mind,the feisty disabled woman left outside (and inside) in the cold with no heating and no running water, but that's another story.
Actually, that last scene was a cheap trick. I'm an animal lover to the hilt, and I hate seeing stories, true or fiction, about sick or ailing animals,but I hate like hell that O'Connor's used this as a device to spin for viewers. That was a dire cliffhanger, and this was EastEnders at it's worst tonight, and that wasn't all.
It's 4/20. Not even a spliff could save this show.
White Male Privilege and Sexism, Ageism and Disability Prejudice. Something was seriously niggling me whilst I watched EastEnders tonight, and at first I couldn't figure out what it was.
Then it dawned on me.
EastEnders was trying to emulate Corrie.
That's the vibe I got when I was watching the segment about Ben and Jay and Donna. They were trying for that Corrie feel of light and natural comedy ... when they weren't pushing Ben and Jay as another version of Minty and Garry.
Then it seriously got ugly.
Sure, Ben did Donna a good turn, but did he have to be so patronising about it? Their sarky banter was overlaid with him laying the sexist gibe heavily on her by intimating that her stab at independence and the idea that she could sort her own mechanical problems herself -when mechanics is totally something that can only ever be understood by men (er, does anyone remember that Carly Wicks was a mechanic?) -forcing her to admit that mediaeval attitudes toward gender assumption were alive and well and living in the 21st Century before condescending to mend her wheelchair and look at her boiler problems.
That Ben is a wizard! Remember when Ben had no mechanical aptitude at all? He couldn't be paid to understand auto mechanics- it was this failure that led to his shopping Phil to the police with the lie that he'd actually killed Stella. Now, not only is he propping up The Arches, able to work on cars whose maintenance these days require highly skilled mechanics, people who've trained professionally, some of whom even have letters after their names, but he's also skilled in electrical matters (Donna's wheelchair) and even doubles as a heating engineer, pronouncing her boiler knackered.
This whole extravaganza was a contrivance.
Since when is Donna's flat a dump? From what I've seen of it, it looked pretty decent. It was one of the newer flats, after all; and the fragrant Claudette stayed with her for awhile. Someone as nasty nice as she wouldn't have lived in a dump. Even Ben noted that it was nicely furnished.
What everything boiled down to in this instance, was Ben caught sight of the fact that Donna had a 48-inch television, and for him, that sealed the deal. She suddenly became their ideal tenant.
However, this is where things got ugly.
Jay's white male privilege came to the fore, and his worst prejudices were exposed. Not only was his assessment of Donna blatantly sexist, it also reeked of ageism and intolerance of disabled.
First of all, the overt sexism. To Jay, Donna's presence was a downer. If he wasn't expecting a WAG-type housemate, he was at least expecting someone whose habits and demeanor would go along with his fantasies of attracting seriously beautiful girls, and a couple of blokes for Ben, hanging about the place. Keep in mind that this is the guy who on not one, but two occasions, conveyed that he was so desperate for serious female companionship of the sexual variety that he made overtures to two 15 year-olds, assuming both were above the age of consent. He didn't learn the first time, to his detriment, and he was caught short by the first culprit on the second attempt.
Second, there was his ageism, referring to Donna as "old". Again, as Ben pointed out, Jay was ok with 47 year-old Michelle living there, but not 31 year-old Donna, who's been known to party hard and out-drink even the most serious partiers. I wonder if the fact that Michelle appeared to have a penchant for sleeping with much younger blokes might have appealed to Jay's fancy, an older woman who was a potential fuck buddy.
And finally, the able-bodied person's innate aversion to living with someone with a disability.
Just imagine Donna wheeling into the room in her dressing gown, demanding that we keep the noise down.
Because that's what it's really all about, isn't it? He brings up the first two classically pithy excuses, which don't faze Ben, before hitting obliquely on the third and real excuse:- the fact that she's a beauty won't wash Ben, because he's realistic enough to know that neither of them would snare a supermodel of either gender. Ben sees the incongruence of objecting to Donna, a thirtysomething, as old in comparison to menopausal Michelle, who-rather than sleep with Jay - would subject him to a diatribe of hot flashes, mood swings and night sweats.
The real aversion Jay has to Donna is that other people, attractive people who might prove to be a sexual boon to either Ben or Jay or both, might just be put off by the sight of a flat mate in a wheelchair with an attitude.
Kudos to Donna for her snark in remarking that it really wasn't her choice to share a house with either a perv or a murderer, both of which happen to be worse epithets than being a plain, outspoken woman in a wheelchair on the wrong side of thirty. At the end of the day, the selling point of Donna as a tenant is the fact that she owns a 48-inch television, something too big for the rabbit hutch room they want to rent to her, but would fit nicely in their front room for their exclusive use.
You have to wonder if either of them would have used this line on a prospective male tenant. They would have, but only if the bloke had been the sort of character who was portrayed as being simple-minded with the word LOSER emblazoned on his forehead. Instead, they ply this line on a woman - that Donna is so desperate, that she'd move into what looks like a moth-eaten house, albeit with heat, and risk insult and being taken advantage of by two lads whose compassion level ought to be higher. At the end of the day, Vincent would take Donna into his home - she was raised as his sister, after all, and he loves her as such - rather than see her homeless, Kim's attitude, be damned; or failing that, he'd pay the rent on a better flat, rather than see her in a cubbyhole at the entertainment expense of Ben and Jay.
I do wonder if Sean O'Connor is more than a casual misogynist.
Steven Buys Lauren a Treat in Which to Cheat and Then Cheats Himself. Ah, the old Pierce-the-Condom trick! How long has it been? Eight years? Ronnie did it with a safety pin and was caught by Jack. (Remember? That marked the first rapprochement between Max and Jack over a bag of chips).
But Steven, being a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, pierces the condom with a knife. Of course, that comes after a day of treating Lauren, daughter of the mother of all material girls, Tanya, to a new outfit and flowers. The outfit is for her impending interview with Weyland & Co, for which she, inexplicably, has to "cram". How? And for what? She has no photography experience, except on her mobile phone, so how does she expect to cram?
However, we know she'll dress to kill for Josh the Photocopier Man, who sends her a text and makes her blush expectantly - and poor Steven thinks she's virginal enough to blush at his romanticism. The condom is for Lauren feeling just grateful enough to repay Steven for his gifts by agreeing to have sex with him as a thank-you gesture. In other words, she prostitutes herself - and you can see where this is leading, can't you?
Down the age-old EastEnders safe haven called ....
WHO'S THE DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Because you know what will happen. Lauren will get the job and have sex with the Photocopier Man, and fall pregnant, something we know she didn't want to happen, and we'll be left to guess the identity of the father; and Steven proved himself to have learned well at the foot of Ian's altar, because that's just the sort of sneaky thing Ian would have pulled in his day.
And here again, we have a woman portrayed pejoratively by O'Connor - not that Lauren's ever been any sort of positive representation of any sort. She's been the picture of privileged entitlement - lazy, arrogant and willfully ignorant. And selfish.
Now she's depicted as amoral - bored with a baby she needn't have had, living scot-free with a family she abhors and with a man whose domesticity bores her. Given the opportunity and were she absolved of any impending blame, she'd abscond, leaving the Beales with her baby and scoot off to live what she reckons is the yuppie life with Josh. But what's left of her conscience is still bothering her at the moment.
It's useful to remember that Lauren's actual conception was the key that drove Max to break up the marriage he had with his first wife and abandon Bradley for the pregnant Tanya, an act which alienated him further from his own parents. I'm wondering if history is about to repeat itself twofold, because this storyline not only makes me think of the beginnings of Max and Tanya - this time with Lauren possibly abandoning Stephen and Louis to run off with Josh - but also, it makes me think of Cindy's deception of Ian.
I guess Steven must have prayed away that gay.
The Big Surprise. Thus begins the penance of Louise Mitchell-sometimes-Fowler. Here's the irony: in another world, Louise would have been raised as Rebecca's cousin.
Now that she's no longer being tormented, Rebecca reverts to type: smug. "Smugness" is written all over her, which is why I had a difficult time finding empathy for her. When she isn't crying, she's got her head thrown back (like Lauren did tonight -do they teach that in drama school now), chin jutting forward, tossing her head and preening, and showing the world red nostrils.
This segment consisted of Louise, quivering, and following Rebecca around, even putting a foot in the threshold of the door to apologise again and again for her part in the bullying. How many times did she have to remind Rebecca that Rebecca had actually told Sonia to keep Louise's name out of the tale?
The dialogue was awful, especially when Rebecca assailed Louise for doing nothing and not defending her against Sniggle and Snaggle (who aren't gone and turn up in a couple of weeks for more cartoon bad behaviour). Louise's reaction to this diatribe was to do an impression of a fish and wag her mouth.
She should have said this: You know what, Rebecca? I'm a coward, and I'm ashamed of that. But you know something else? I was afraid too. Of them. Do you know I was actually paying them to like me? Paying for their fizzy drinks and milk shakes and caff meals. I was afraid they'd turn on me too. I was cowardly, and I hurt you. I'm sorry, that's all I can say... but you really should have deleted Shakil's picture, because that's what started all of this,and that wasn't my fault.
What surprised me most in all of this was Michelle. I've been the fiercest of critics of Jenna Russell, but in the minute-long scene she shared with Tilly Keeper, she really did seem like the Michelle of old, and I could imagine Sue Tully with that dialogue - about how she and Sharon had been life-long friends, but that they hadn't been friends all the time,and that there were times when they'd fallen out - even making a self-deprecating remark about having slept with Sharon's father. (Except, I don't ever remember Michelle apologising to Sharon, either for that or for having slept with Grant - or for having slapped Sharon's child).
However, that was a special moment, and it encouraged Louise not to relent in her attempts to make amends. Now all she has to do is to tell smug Rebecca that it takes a lot for a person to admit a mistake and apologise, it takes an even bigger person to forgive.
And finally ... Abi's giving the fish eye to the Woodman. Don't even go there.
Leave it to Sean O'Connor to resort to the vile attempt of blantant emotional blackmail to con us into involvement in what is rapidly turning into a show spiralling out of control.
Tune in and watch or the dog dies!
This was the Carters at their absolute worst, the ragtag scag-end remains of what was once Dominic Treadwell-Collins's prize creation, his family on film. Now Shirley is reduced to skulking about the "community" (the operative word on O'Connor's watch), sniping at the appointed bar manager (a piece of beefcake with an off-screen reputation and the air of a poseur) and pretending she doesn't care about an injured animal, whilst being mildly belligerant towards Abi as if she should know more about Lady Di's injuries than any normal receptionist shoould.With Sylvie's death (something that's almost forgotten by Shirley and relegated to the bottom of a list topped by her disdain for Woody the Wood), Tina sinks back into irrelevance, the childlike appendage tacked onto the pub family who sits in the corner mindlessly murmuring platitudes and joining in the litany or worry about Lady Di.
Johnny and Whitney are the runts of the Carter litter. Whitney isn't even a Carter- why are they tolerating her presence there? We need the truth about her part in Lee actually being driven away to be exposed. Today is actually "Mental Health Thursday" in the UK, with the BBC devoting exclusive time to pubicising the need for mental health awareness and treatment. Good thing, EastEnders wasn't approached to be part of a positive message. O'Connor's message would be that anyone suffering from depression should be constantly berated for their shortcomings, told to man up and then driven away from the com-MYOOOON-ity because depressed people always do better away from a core of something that's supposed to offer comfort and support. Listening to Alastair Campbell, a long-time sufferer of depression and a high-profile member of the public, talk about how many times in his youth he was told the same things Mick told Lee made me think about Lee's story and the inadvertant parts Mick and Whitney played in his downfall. The storyline could have been used to show the general ignorance of people who happen to have a loved one who suffers from a mental illness, but instead, this entire fiasco is still being presented with Lee depicted as the bad egg, the villain, the deplorable who did so badly by Whitney that it's she whom the family have chosed to succour and condole.
The sense of community was part of the shaggy dog story, with as unlikely residents as Vincent, who spends more time in the Vic than he does his own pub, and Kathy, both of whom had never even thought of the dog before, going out of their way to ask about Lady Di, with Kathy even urging a free coffee onto Shirley - ever mindful of the fact that she had been sleeping with Shirley's partner. If that wasn't enough, we were subjected to a homily of the efficacy of pet-owning by Carmel, who - in true Carmel fashion - managed to make this crisis all about herself, by brinigng up the fact that her cat hated being cuddled by her. (I would think anyone, including her sons, would hate to be cuddled by Carmel) - and she even preened at a poor attempt at a compliment by the new bar manager with the overtly priapic name.
Everyone was involved in worrying about Lady Di - Kathy, Vincent, Carmel, Abi (who got "good vibes" about the dog's condition for which she'll probably now get heaps of blame for being mistaken)- even Woody the Woodman bought her a squeaky toy, in which Tina, now resorting to five year-old mode again, delighted in squeaking.
We even got that old soap trope, the ubiquitous false message of mistaken good hope - Shirley hearing what she wanted to hear in the vet's message: no injuries to Lady Di, she could come home, but the vet wanted to see them. Sorry, but doesn't that raise alarm bells for most people? Sorry, Ms Carter, your dog survived the roof collapsing on her, and she can go home, but I'd like a word, please.
You'd feel the hackles on your neck rise, wouldn't you? Apparently not the slap-happy Carters. True to form, as well, with Mick not present, we still feel his unseen presence in the phone calls from Bulgaria every five minutes, constant reminders of how Mick didn't want the pet, but now wouldn't be seen without her, right down to reports of his deafening scream when Shirley reported the mistaken good news. Weird observation ... but EastEnders is big at the moment in allowing viewers to hear voices on the other end of telephone conversations, even voices whose characters aren't a part of the tangible fabric (to use Michelle's favourite word of the moment) on the Square. We heard Sharon's voice n the phone when she was on holiday, we heard Mrs Prestonovich's dulcet American tones, and tonight we heard Phil calling Sharon.
We didn't hear Mick on the other end of the phone.
And, as usual, the Carters are keeping Linda in the dark about what happened with Lady Di, the dog actually being Linda's pet. Why change the habit of a lifetime?
You could predict the outcome of the situation when that quartet of useful idiots trooped into the vet's surgery, full of misbegotten hope, only to be told that Lady Di had been suffering for months from what is essentially bulldog pneumonia, a condition caused by swallowing foreign matter, usually bits of regurgitated food contained in vomit. There should have been other symptoms as well. IIRC, Abi actually suggested that they take her to the vet, but as that would have cost money, they took Abi's more expensive suggestion to heart and bought her the designer crate, with money Whitney stole from Vincent. It saved her life, but now they have to decide between £8000 to treat Lady Di's condition or £8000 to pay for a new roof.
Does Whitney still have Vincent's credit card? How much money is Mick wasting on his expensive Smartphone calling every five minutes from Bulgaria? How does Whitney afford those expensive nails? Has anyone ever heard of GoFundMe? Will Lady Di die? Maybe this is yet another chance for the Com-MYOOOON-ity to band together and save Lady Di -ne'mind,the feisty disabled woman left outside (and inside) in the cold with no heating and no running water, but that's another story.
Actually, that last scene was a cheap trick. I'm an animal lover to the hilt, and I hate seeing stories, true or fiction, about sick or ailing animals,but I hate like hell that O'Connor's used this as a device to spin for viewers. That was a dire cliffhanger, and this was EastEnders at it's worst tonight, and that wasn't all.
It's 4/20. Not even a spliff could save this show.
White Male Privilege and Sexism, Ageism and Disability Prejudice. Something was seriously niggling me whilst I watched EastEnders tonight, and at first I couldn't figure out what it was.
Then it dawned on me.
EastEnders was trying to emulate Corrie.
That's the vibe I got when I was watching the segment about Ben and Jay and Donna. They were trying for that Corrie feel of light and natural comedy ... when they weren't pushing Ben and Jay as another version of Minty and Garry.
Then it seriously got ugly.
Sure, Ben did Donna a good turn, but did he have to be so patronising about it? Their sarky banter was overlaid with him laying the sexist gibe heavily on her by intimating that her stab at independence and the idea that she could sort her own mechanical problems herself -when mechanics is totally something that can only ever be understood by men (er, does anyone remember that Carly Wicks was a mechanic?) -forcing her to admit that mediaeval attitudes toward gender assumption were alive and well and living in the 21st Century before condescending to mend her wheelchair and look at her boiler problems.
That Ben is a wizard! Remember when Ben had no mechanical aptitude at all? He couldn't be paid to understand auto mechanics- it was this failure that led to his shopping Phil to the police with the lie that he'd actually killed Stella. Now, not only is he propping up The Arches, able to work on cars whose maintenance these days require highly skilled mechanics, people who've trained professionally, some of whom even have letters after their names, but he's also skilled in electrical matters (Donna's wheelchair) and even doubles as a heating engineer, pronouncing her boiler knackered.
This whole extravaganza was a contrivance.
Since when is Donna's flat a dump? From what I've seen of it, it looked pretty decent. It was one of the newer flats, after all; and the fragrant Claudette stayed with her for awhile. Someone as nasty nice as she wouldn't have lived in a dump. Even Ben noted that it was nicely furnished.
What everything boiled down to in this instance, was Ben caught sight of the fact that Donna had a 48-inch television, and for him, that sealed the deal. She suddenly became their ideal tenant.
However, this is where things got ugly.
Jay's white male privilege came to the fore, and his worst prejudices were exposed. Not only was his assessment of Donna blatantly sexist, it also reeked of ageism and intolerance of disabled.
First of all, the overt sexism. To Jay, Donna's presence was a downer. If he wasn't expecting a WAG-type housemate, he was at least expecting someone whose habits and demeanor would go along with his fantasies of attracting seriously beautiful girls, and a couple of blokes for Ben, hanging about the place. Keep in mind that this is the guy who on not one, but two occasions, conveyed that he was so desperate for serious female companionship of the sexual variety that he made overtures to two 15 year-olds, assuming both were above the age of consent. He didn't learn the first time, to his detriment, and he was caught short by the first culprit on the second attempt.
Second, there was his ageism, referring to Donna as "old". Again, as Ben pointed out, Jay was ok with 47 year-old Michelle living there, but not 31 year-old Donna, who's been known to party hard and out-drink even the most serious partiers. I wonder if the fact that Michelle appeared to have a penchant for sleeping with much younger blokes might have appealed to Jay's fancy, an older woman who was a potential fuck buddy.
And finally, the able-bodied person's innate aversion to living with someone with a disability.
Just imagine Donna wheeling into the room in her dressing gown, demanding that we keep the noise down.
Because that's what it's really all about, isn't it? He brings up the first two classically pithy excuses, which don't faze Ben, before hitting obliquely on the third and real excuse:- the fact that she's a beauty won't wash Ben, because he's realistic enough to know that neither of them would snare a supermodel of either gender. Ben sees the incongruence of objecting to Donna, a thirtysomething, as old in comparison to menopausal Michelle, who-rather than sleep with Jay - would subject him to a diatribe of hot flashes, mood swings and night sweats.
The real aversion Jay has to Donna is that other people, attractive people who might prove to be a sexual boon to either Ben or Jay or both, might just be put off by the sight of a flat mate in a wheelchair with an attitude.
Kudos to Donna for her snark in remarking that it really wasn't her choice to share a house with either a perv or a murderer, both of which happen to be worse epithets than being a plain, outspoken woman in a wheelchair on the wrong side of thirty. At the end of the day, the selling point of Donna as a tenant is the fact that she owns a 48-inch television, something too big for the rabbit hutch room they want to rent to her, but would fit nicely in their front room for their exclusive use.
You have to wonder if either of them would have used this line on a prospective male tenant. They would have, but only if the bloke had been the sort of character who was portrayed as being simple-minded with the word LOSER emblazoned on his forehead. Instead, they ply this line on a woman - that Donna is so desperate, that she'd move into what looks like a moth-eaten house, albeit with heat, and risk insult and being taken advantage of by two lads whose compassion level ought to be higher. At the end of the day, Vincent would take Donna into his home - she was raised as his sister, after all, and he loves her as such - rather than see her homeless, Kim's attitude, be damned; or failing that, he'd pay the rent on a better flat, rather than see her in a cubbyhole at the entertainment expense of Ben and Jay.
I do wonder if Sean O'Connor is more than a casual misogynist.
Steven Buys Lauren a Treat in Which to Cheat and Then Cheats Himself. Ah, the old Pierce-the-Condom trick! How long has it been? Eight years? Ronnie did it with a safety pin and was caught by Jack. (Remember? That marked the first rapprochement between Max and Jack over a bag of chips).
But Steven, being a maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, pierces the condom with a knife. Of course, that comes after a day of treating Lauren, daughter of the mother of all material girls, Tanya, to a new outfit and flowers. The outfit is for her impending interview with Weyland & Co, for which she, inexplicably, has to "cram". How? And for what? She has no photography experience, except on her mobile phone, so how does she expect to cram?
However, we know she'll dress to kill for Josh the Photocopier Man, who sends her a text and makes her blush expectantly - and poor Steven thinks she's virginal enough to blush at his romanticism. The condom is for Lauren feeling just grateful enough to repay Steven for his gifts by agreeing to have sex with him as a thank-you gesture. In other words, she prostitutes herself - and you can see where this is leading, can't you?
Down the age-old EastEnders safe haven called ....
WHO'S THE DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Because you know what will happen. Lauren will get the job and have sex with the Photocopier Man, and fall pregnant, something we know she didn't want to happen, and we'll be left to guess the identity of the father; and Steven proved himself to have learned well at the foot of Ian's altar, because that's just the sort of sneaky thing Ian would have pulled in his day.
And here again, we have a woman portrayed pejoratively by O'Connor - not that Lauren's ever been any sort of positive representation of any sort. She's been the picture of privileged entitlement - lazy, arrogant and willfully ignorant. And selfish.
Now she's depicted as amoral - bored with a baby she needn't have had, living scot-free with a family she abhors and with a man whose domesticity bores her. Given the opportunity and were she absolved of any impending blame, she'd abscond, leaving the Beales with her baby and scoot off to live what she reckons is the yuppie life with Josh. But what's left of her conscience is still bothering her at the moment.
It's useful to remember that Lauren's actual conception was the key that drove Max to break up the marriage he had with his first wife and abandon Bradley for the pregnant Tanya, an act which alienated him further from his own parents. I'm wondering if history is about to repeat itself twofold, because this storyline not only makes me think of the beginnings of Max and Tanya - this time with Lauren possibly abandoning Stephen and Louis to run off with Josh - but also, it makes me think of Cindy's deception of Ian.
I guess Steven must have prayed away that gay.
The Big Surprise. Thus begins the penance of Louise Mitchell-sometimes-Fowler. Here's the irony: in another world, Louise would have been raised as Rebecca's cousin.
Now that she's no longer being tormented, Rebecca reverts to type: smug. "Smugness" is written all over her, which is why I had a difficult time finding empathy for her. When she isn't crying, she's got her head thrown back (like Lauren did tonight -do they teach that in drama school now), chin jutting forward, tossing her head and preening, and showing the world red nostrils.
This segment consisted of Louise, quivering, and following Rebecca around, even putting a foot in the threshold of the door to apologise again and again for her part in the bullying. How many times did she have to remind Rebecca that Rebecca had actually told Sonia to keep Louise's name out of the tale?
The dialogue was awful, especially when Rebecca assailed Louise for doing nothing and not defending her against Sniggle and Snaggle (who aren't gone and turn up in a couple of weeks for more cartoon bad behaviour). Louise's reaction to this diatribe was to do an impression of a fish and wag her mouth.
She should have said this: You know what, Rebecca? I'm a coward, and I'm ashamed of that. But you know something else? I was afraid too. Of them. Do you know I was actually paying them to like me? Paying for their fizzy drinks and milk shakes and caff meals. I was afraid they'd turn on me too. I was cowardly, and I hurt you. I'm sorry, that's all I can say... but you really should have deleted Shakil's picture, because that's what started all of this,and that wasn't my fault.
What surprised me most in all of this was Michelle. I've been the fiercest of critics of Jenna Russell, but in the minute-long scene she shared with Tilly Keeper, she really did seem like the Michelle of old, and I could imagine Sue Tully with that dialogue - about how she and Sharon had been life-long friends, but that they hadn't been friends all the time,and that there were times when they'd fallen out - even making a self-deprecating remark about having slept with Sharon's father. (Except, I don't ever remember Michelle apologising to Sharon, either for that or for having slept with Grant - or for having slapped Sharon's child).
However, that was a special moment, and it encouraged Louise not to relent in her attempts to make amends. Now all she has to do is to tell smug Rebecca that it takes a lot for a person to admit a mistake and apologise, it takes an even bigger person to forgive.
And finally ... Abi's giving the fish eye to the Woodman. Don't even go there.
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