The Omnipresent Denise Show - Review:- Tuesday 27.06.2017

Until Sean O'Connor's name is off the credits and we viably see his quirky vision being corrected with regard to the show, I simply cannot be bothered with what amounts to absolute rubbish.

Tonight was an absolute load of twaddle. In fact, Katie Douglas inadvertanly spoke for the entire viewing audience when she had Donna utter her devastating critique of Robbie Jackson, which fit about everything that's been opined about O'Connor.

If we're about to explore Derek's history, they made a cack-handed attempt at that, with Keegan so obviously shop-lifting that even Honey saw his move, which turned into a bad parody of Ali G (Is it because I'm black?) and Denise hissing to Honey not to get involved with the situation. That's right, have an employee just stand by gormlessly as someone shoplifts merchandise in front of her very eyes, taking the advice of an ex-employee to look out for herself first and not get involved with someone who caused her bother.

Consider the plights of both Dot and Derek in this episode as related to the Square's current resident Mother Theresa, Denise. Denise's and Honey's "concern" for Derek came across as singularly patronising, especially the incident with Keegan. Not a few weeks ago, it was Derek who spotted him shoplifting (because Honey's nose was so far up her own arse in discontent at Derek working there that she didn't notice), and he didn't hesitate to confront him either.

He was visibly perturbed at Keegan's remark and despondent upon receipt of Yolande's phone call. The incident with Keegan, and the phone call point the way to the fact that Derek's criminal record must stem from something which occurred in the days when homosexuality was illegal in the UK. This was given more credence in his confrontation with Johnny about Johnny standing by and doing nothing. (Actually, what Derek told Johnny was true in many different ways about the resident plank on the Square); but he was right, indeed, people like Derek suffered immensely so that people like Johnny might enjoy their lifestyles freely - although, I daresay, Paul Coker would beg to differ. He died for being gay, and in the 21st Century.

But compare Denise's "concern" for Derek as opposed to her almost total non-concern for Dot.

I don't understand Denise's efforts to reach out to Derek, unless it was general curiosity about his confrontation with Johnny or why she should even make an effort to call back around the Minute Mart to see if he were all right after the encounter, even making the lame excuse of not getting involved, herself, but neglecting to say how she was trying to coerce Honey to do the same. But she was so off-hand about Dot's absence from Patrick's birthday celebrations, it was almost callous.

Patrick probably knows Dot better than anyone on the Square. He knows that when she says she'll show up for something that when she doesn't, something's wrong. Patrick, indeed, felt something was wrong and was determined to check on her. Yet when there was no reply to his call and Karen mistakenly said she'd seen Dot leave the house, Denise was content enough to guide Patrick away,even though his feelings were telling him otherwise.

As for Dot, I thought her soliloquy to Dave (who must have been three sheets to the wind, having lapped up a fair portion of that rum cake) was sorta kinda cringeworthy. For example, why was she ruminating about Sharon and Ian coming around to check on her, when Dot has ample family on the Square? Jack, supposedly, checks on her regularly enough - at least, when he needs a babysitter. Abi was just around recently, and although Lauren and Max seem to make themselves scarce, they do call around. It would be a different kettle of fish if there were no Brannings about and Dot's only real link with the familiar would be Ian, Sharon, Kathy and Martin, but it's not as if Dot goes days on end without seeing anyone. And to be fair, Patrick called around, but with the noise outside, and Dot only faintly calling for help, he couldn't reach her. All in all, this was a pitch-perfect contrivance and the ideal situation in which to involve someone who's, arguably, the most self-righteous character in the show - Sonia.

When Sonia came bellowing back to Walford before, after Rebecca called her and subsequently wished she hadn't, Sonia stayed with Dot; but only because she really couldn't stay at the Fowler house. Prior to that, when she lived on the Square and was loved up with Tina, she rarely had time for Dot. This is just another situation which Sonia will use to gain the moral high ground over everyone from Martin to Sharon to Kathy to the Brannings. Sonia's life must be really sad that she has to use incidents like this and her daughter's bullying to score brownie points over others.

The other cringeworthy part of the episode was Robbie Jackson and everything about him. Robbie was never intentionally funny, even when he was the straight man for Barry Evans, but this time, he's being re-introduced as a cartoonish fool, because somehow, everything Sean O'Connor touches seems to turn into cartoons - the bullies, the lecherous Josh, Max the villain and now Robbie the village idiot

Donna spoke for us all, and not just about Robbie, but about the show in general.

As for the Carters, I have just three observations - Mick may have had qualms about the freehold of the Vic being sold, but he had no qualms about using the proceeds of the sale to pay off his credit card, which was pretty maxed out before he left for Albania or Bulgaria or wherever it was that Nancy got hit by a car. Klosters is an exclusive ski resort and that doesn't come cheap. Secondly, I'm wondering if Johnny's quest for a position in a solicitor's firm might be his swansong and an opening for his departure.

And third, maybe it was me,but I thought Mick's browsing through a sexy lingerie brochure was done more with Whitney in mind rather than Linda. Linda's homecoming is going to be interesting ... wait, what am I saying? Is anything Sean O'Connor does interesting? Linda's homecoming and birthday will probably, inevitably, be all about Denise or Michelle.

The First One after We Received the News - Review:- Monday 26.06.2017

The first episode after having received the news that Sean O'Connor is toast, and the episode is just one big steaming pile yet again. 

This has to have been one of the worst episodes I have seen, especially in terms of what is happening - nothing. 

At the risk of being shot down, watching Denise prance about the Square as the resident beacon of happiness and light, imparting love and warmth to everyone (mainly, her immediate family) was bum-clinchingly embarrassing. 

This was a Katie Douglas episode, and it showed; but it was also a Sean O'Connor signature episode, and it summed up almost everything that's gone wrong with his tenure.

The show has hit rock bottom.

All About Denise Being a Beacon of Sunshine and Love ...

That just about sums this segment up. This was less about Patirick's birthday and more about Denise spreading love and warmth and feeling good about herself. If she were half as clued up about Patrick as she pretends to be, she'd realise that he just may have wanted minimum fuss. And also, Dot was actually making him a rum cake from scratch. This was an elderly woman, an old friend and the wife of his best mate, someone suffering from macular degeneration of her eyesight, and yet she made the effort - supervising her granddaughter who actually blended the ingredients - but she put the effort in, and then she suffered for her work.

But neither Denise nor Kim could even put in the effort of making Patrick some homemade bacon rolls for his celebratory breakfast. Indeed, they couldn't be arsed to make him a special breakfast. Instead, they whipped to the café and stocked up on Kathy's/Tina's bacon sarnies.

I don't blame Patrick for being creeped out with Denise sticking to him like glue, wanting to spend time with him all day, following him about in his wanderings etc.Patrick is his own man. He's very much an individual who knows what he wants and what he needs. When he wants to be on his own, that's what he wants. When he wants to socialise, that's what he does.

Instead, we're treated to Denise strutting down the middle of the market to encounter Yolande, and to sweetly thank her for "all she did and all her help" during the little problematic episode Denise had at the Minute Mart. Funny, but I seem to recall at the time, Denise was anything but thankful. She was fucking downright rude to Yolande, and was entitled enough to expect her to have done so much more. Instead, Yolande had actually managed to secure her job for her, contingent upon her attending an anger management course, which was beneath Denise's huge ego and dignity. 

Now she gushes to a bewildered Yolande about how that was the opportunity she needed and the Minute Mart was way in her past now. Oh, she flutters, there were times when things weren't easy - like when Denise sat on her arse for weeks after leaving her job and never once started looking for work until she was down to her last ten quid, then she resorted to scavenging through rubbish bins and trudging about looking po-faced and sad and never once thinking to tell her sister or any of her immediate family that she was in straights. But now, you know, she's fucking Kush again, Kim;s giving her money for nothing because the babysitting is only nominal, and armed with 1 GCSE, a guttersnipe's command of English grammar and what would be a nominally non-committal reference from Yolande (which is all she even could give), Denise thinks she's about to take the Council by storm, secure that all-important job on Reception and thereby, she'll sneak and spy around and find out how the dastardly, dishonest Council is hand-in-glove with Weyland & Co, and SuperDenise will save the Square ...

... or so it would seem in SeanO'ConnorLand.

You know what would be funny? JohnYorkLand ... where Denise gets the same sort of letter from the Council that Johnny Carter got from a firm of solicitors in this episode ...

Thank you for your application and your interview, Ms Fox, but having completed a CRB check, we find that you are currently serving a suspended sentence for assault. Coupled with the non-committal reference we have received from Mrs Yolande Trueman of The Minute Mart Ltd, we regret to inform you that your application for employment with Walford Council has been unsuccessful. We extend to you our wishes for the best of luck in all your future endeavours.

Then there would be a fretful phonecall from Libby the Pill, informing Denise that Chelsea had called her weeping about the fact that she was made pregnant by some rich gigolo, who dumped her in Marbella, and Denise would call Chelsea and soothe her with her charming and wonderful way. You can even hear Chelsea..

Ok, Mum. I'll'ave the bayBEE,but I an't got time to look after it. I mean, I got me image, I'm still after a rich footballer. I wanna be a wag. Hit's Spain, Mum! I deserve me a bloke like Neymar or Ronaldo. Nuffink less. You looked after Auntie Kim's baybee, you can just come out'ere and look after mine!

Then picture Denise telling Kush about the fact that she was going to be a grandmother, cosied up with him in bed. Can you see Kush's trademark reaction - the one where he looks like a cross between a panda and a fish, working his mouth and grunting for about 10 seconds before he manages to stammer ...

Wha ... oh ... what ... a grandmother ... a-a-as in "Nan" grandmother? Ohh ... well .. blimey ... that's nice, I mean, my mum was almost a grandmother once-... no, wait ... I didn't mean that ... it's just, well ... you see, I've ... I've never -uh- well, I've never slept with a nan, er- a grandmother before, you know and ...  um, well ... you know, look, Denise, I'm ... I'm really not in the mood tonight, you know. I sorta promised that nice Norwegian nanny who works for Jack ... I mean, that Fi Browning ... Dooooh! I mean Martin, I promised Martin I'd check him out in the Vic for a drink ....  But you, you go to Spain for Chelsea. I'm sure she needs you .. a-a-and so does your grandchild ... See ya!

Black cab on call!

Oh, and I thought she was phoney and patronising to Derek tonight. I hope she's the first of John Yorke's cull.

Dirty Little Secrets and Dirty Little Lies. Oh, dear ... what could Derek's criminal record entail? Yolande purportedly didn't know, but I'm willing to bet she did, of a sort. The only thing I can fathom that would upset Derek the way it did was that this had to do with a homosexual encounter - in the days when homosexuality was illegal - and it concerned, perhaps, an underaged boy.

If that's so, what the hell is it about this EP and his penchant for adults having sex with children? Besides, if I recall correctly, Derek had been a long-time friend of Pauline's. They'd known each other in school. He'd been married and had children, but many gays forced into the closet by the laws of the time did just that. I suppose, if this is about an encounter with an underaged boy, he would have kept that quiet from Pauline during the time he lodged with her, because she'd have hit the roof, especially with Martin at home and a teenager at the time.

I really hope it's not this, because I like Derek - even if the current-and-now-departing regime have conveniently forgotten any association Derek ever had with Martin Fowler. However, Sean O'Connor stiffed an icon like Michelle Fowler, not only recasting her badly, but turning her into a desperate, clinging woman who'd stoop to sleep with an underaged boy, so why wouldn't he stiff a character like Derek Harkison?

The other observation to take away from this segment was Honey's insipidly self-centred reaction to the possibility that she might be the subject of the in-house magazine cover. I imagine once the news about Derek's criminal record is out, if it is what I suspect it is, she'll cross the street with her kids to avoid him.

More Dirty Little Secrets, More Dirty Little Lies. Widdle Mick is back, chewing his finger and looking everywhere but directly at Mummy, who's ticking him off for being a naughty boy and forcing him to face some nasty home truths.

Mick is angry with Linda. He's angry with her because she sold the freehold of the Vic in order to provide money for Lady Di's treatment, amongst other things, but really he's angry with her because she's coming home, and she'll be there whilst Dirty Whitney, the current object of his new-found lust, is not. Remember their second illicit kiss? Well, Widdle Mick was on his way, I reckon, to tell Whitney that she was the one he really, really wanted, except for the fact that Shirley got to her first and told her a thing or two about Mick's relationship with Linda.

At first, Mick doesn't want to do anything for Linda's birthday, most likely because he's so angry, he couldn't be arsed, but then he decides to use the pub venue and business for that solution to any problem concerning Linda he might have - when in doubt, throw Linda a party. Not just a party, but a knees-up, taking up every inch of the pub and involving everyone. Shirley knows that he's doing this in order to avoid facing Linda down on his own in private. Well, he is a coward, after all.

Here's the irony of the situation: Shirley was part and parcel of that deception. In fact, it was she who approached Linda with the idea, and it was Shirley who forged Mick's signature on the transfer document. Yet, Mick has forgiven her, but not Linda.

I can buy the fact that the relationship between Mick and Shirley is fraught with abandonment and and honesty issues, but this is entirely the first time in their long association that Linda has even made a decision without Mick, and on the spot, acting in the best interests of all concerned. Mick is more annoyed that it was his wife who grasped the mettle and did something about their precarious situation, when all he did, after the fact,was whine and belloweather about how he had the situation "sorted."

"Sorted", my arse.

He went away to care for his injured daughter,and the only person who merited his thoughts and concerns was Whitney.

That's actually what's bothering him. He's been unfaithful to Linda. He's angry with Linda for making a decision on the spot, without consulting him first. He feels emasculated because of this, that accommodating, little Linda would presume to make such an important sacrifice for the sake of a family pet. But really, he's angry with Linda because, like an adult, she took a major decision to care for her ailing mother, rather than stay in Walford and massage Mick's fragile, puerile manchild ego. Whitney fed that ego, Whitney made him believe that he was the much-maligned hunter-gatherer Prince-in-Shining-Armour, and Whitney took every opportunity possible to trashmouth Linda in the subtlest way.

What's going to be very interesting now is Linda being back in Walford an eternal victim, Whitney, returning to the fray. And the omnipresent Denise knows about that first kiss too.

Tick tock.

The Return of the Prodigal. Robbie Jackson is back, and I'm not impressed. Minus son and Wellard, booted and suited,someone in the programme - Martin, I think - remarked that Robbie's only relatives on the Square were Dot and Rebecca. Not true. Whilst Robbie still claims kin to Martin, he actually has two uncles and four other cousins resident on the Square- Max, Jack, Abi, Lauren,Amy and Ricky.

He's the same hyper, klutzy Robbie we say in the late 1990s. The only things that are missing are Wellard and Barry Evans.

When he last left the Square, he was headed to Milton Keynes to drive taxis for Terry and somehow ended up living with Sonia in Kidderminster before that all went tits up.

Well, he'll probably end up at Dot's, now that she's taken a fall over Dave the Cat, who'll probably turn out to be the Murrays' runaway cat, Lucky.

Not much of an episode at all.

A Steaming Pile of Shit - Review:- Friday 23. 06.2017

Denise and Kush, or rather, Denise, in general and how this episode and the show and Sean O'Connor pushing this character down our throats ... this is what I feel at the moment.

I can say what I want here on my own blog, rather than risk the bullying antics of a troll who's only serious efforts are to target and try to bully me into silence about my criticism of this character. 

This should have been an episode totally about Abi's 21st birthday party. We've been hearing about this event for weeks. Instead, we dealt mostly with the aftermath of the incident in the park and with everything Denise and Kush. 

I really hope the next EP has the balls to hand Diane Parish her P45. As good an actress as she allegedly is, that doesn't mean she's necessarily entitled to an indefinite position on the programme. Too often, producers struggle to find viable storylines for genuinely talented actors; but then, a lot of genuinely talented actors don't choose to carry on being associated with tripe like this,but I guess her generous salary, courtesy of the British taxpayer, has made her lazy and content to suck the public tit.

This is a character who's been largely irrelevant since 2010. Producer after producer struggled to know what to do with her. She stood around being a straight man to Nina Wadia and the unfunny Tameka Empson for years. Newman tried to put her with an established family like the Beales, but DTC wanted none of that. Hell, DTC couldn't even start a pithy storyline he started about her. Still, standing around in the background and issuing the odd snarky remark is nice enough work to pay for the expensive mortgage, the school fees, the au pairs and the designer nails - not to mention the expensive bling Denise wears on eight of her ten fingers and which she never thought to pawn in order to buy herself some food.

Now, all of a sudden, she's front and centre and absolutely everything positive about the show. Characters who'd never spoken to Denise in their lives are now falling over themselves to smile, pass a word or two or marvel at her fortitude, her strength, her intelligence, her beauty. We got yet another soliloquy from Kush on that subject tonight, as her ego swelled magnificently beneath her coy, humbly flattered exterior, complete with fluttering eyelashes.

Here's the cold, hard, honest truth, and the DeniseBots of the cyberworld - some of the worst kind of passive-aggressive bullies I've ever seen - can suck this up. She isn't kind, patient, gentle and caring. For years, in fact all the years she's ever been on the show, she's only ever cared about herself and her immediate family. She spent the majority of her time sneering and looking down her nose at most of the other residents, including (a lot of time) her own sister, and the rest of the time, she was lathing them down with the rough side of her tongue.

She isn't strong. She's always been dependent on some sort of man, and her judgement in that department has always been wrong. She's not even enormously intelligent. A GSCE in English Literature begs the abililty to express oneself coherently, intelligently and literately. Denise has none of this ability. She cannot string a sentence together unless it's filled with glaring grammatical errors, which aren't intentional - it's because that's the way she speaks, and she doesn't know any better. That's ignorance.

It's also ignorance combined with belligerance and a sublime sense of entitlement which caused her behaviour at The Minute Mart. Who sounds off to the media about the entity which employs you? And then who expects no punishment regarding this - her rudeness to the Area Manager and her refusal to see her anger management problem. That anger is regarded as strength; it's not. It's the weakness of a bully - so maybe that's why all the passive-aggressive keyboard warriors admire her so much. Seriously, who walks out on a job and then, instead of looking for other employment, continues to drink, eat out, and fuck around with her best friend's son (a man young enough to be her son) until she wakes up one morning and discovers she has ten quid left to her name? Who is so intelligent and so up her arse in pride that, rather then tell supportive residents of her financial concerns, she'd rather eat from rubbish bins? That's stupidity.

Yet she plans on getting a job with the Council because she has to eat, she wants to work their in order to try to sabotage whatever plans they might have about the Community Centre. That's Sean O'Connor's new image of her as the hero of the piece, the saviour of the community. Tonight, she became Saint Theresa, calmly stepping beatifically between a confrontation between Martin and Kush over the incident in the park, something which Kush never disclosed to Martin or Stacey.

And here's another cold, hard fact: In real time, the Council wouldn't look twice at Denise. All they'd have to do is run a CRC background check to find that not only does she have a criminal record, she's on discharge from an assault charge. As for her references from The Minute Mart, the best she could legally hope for from Yolande is a terse statement saying she'd worked there for so many years and that would be that. Prior to her last explosive exit from that job, there's also her previous exit to consider - sacked on the spot for stealing wine over a period of time and actually threatened with prosecution.

As for the sad-eyed, panda-faced Kush, his poetic declaration of undying love for Denise is merely a euphemism for his Oedipal complex. Kush cannot compete, nor even exist in a relationship of equals, which is why his relationship with Shabnam was doomed from the start. He was too immature to contemplate any relationship which would have seen him as a husband, on an equal footing with a wife from his own age demographic, as well as the responsibility of being a full-time father - dealing with all the strife, pressures, stress and tension, as well as the redemptive and morally cleansing love of such a relationship.

He chose to blame Shabnam for the problems in their marriage, when the real problem lay with him, his lies,his deceit and his own emotional immaturity. Shabnam wasn't enough. Here was a man who was pithy enough to use his dead wife as a chat-up line. The dead wife will always be an ideal to him because they weren't together long enough for reality to set in with Kush. There wasn't enough time for the needy Carmel to dig her claws into that relationship, the way she did when he was with Shabnam.

The hard truth is that Kush is the ultimate manchild,the horny guy who wants sex without the responsbility of a serious relationship with someone in his own bracket. Carmel talks to him and treats him as though he were an adolescent schoolboy, and Denise also speaks to him this way. Whenever she does, his guard drops and he instinctively takes on a relaxed mien. He's in his element. Give him an older woman to mother him, suckle him and fuck him and he's happy. There's no chance of a child to vie with him as the centre of attention. He will double as child and lover, with Denise always getting the upper hand in an unequal relationship ... This is why Kush doesn't want more than what he already has with Arthur. He's happy to have his son for an hour or two a week, to babysit now and then, play dates and horsing around, with no real parental responsablities. Martin will do the heavy lifting because Kush doesn't want that adult responsibility. Tamwar recognised exactly what he was. The only sort of relationship he ever hoped to pursue with someone from his own demographic is that of a sexual predator, preying on vulnerable women at a low point in their lives, and pulling out - literally and figuratively - before he was consumed by a relationship wherein his partner just might be his equal.

Carmel called the police. She bet both ways. She reported the incident regarding Kush as a warning to Kush and in hopes that Denise would step forward and admit that it was she who kicked the dog, and she reported Keegan because of his association with Shakil. I don't understand why Keegan would even bring Stacey into the equation, apart from her outburst at his mother when they moved in. Yes, the police would need to know about his history with Denise, but would the police randomly show up at the Fowler house on the report that Stacey was a "nutter?" This works well for Carmel as well, because we know the ultimate aim for her is to have Social Services remove Arthur from the Fowlers and give him to her.

News flash! In the middle of writing this blog, it's just been announced that Sean O'Connor has abruptly left EastEnders. The biggest rat has deserted a ship he caused to sink.

This deserves some comment before the dissection of the rest of the episode. It's actually mete that news of O'Connor's sacking was released just after this poor excuse of a majoe episode was aired. This should have been a major episode with something - well, major happening. We've certainly had our interest tweaked less-than-subtly for weeks about Abi's 21st birthday party, so much so, that we knew that whatever could go wrong would go wrong.

But what we got was sheer O'Connor drivel and mundanity. Oh, he was capable of the occasional surprise - the revelation that Lee had planned the raid on the Vic, for example; but when the big occasion arose, we got served up a helping of damp squib.

Consider the characters of Ben and Jay, for example. Ben's sister, Louise, has, for the past couple of weeks, been subjected to a barrage of rumours and lies about her allegedly getting drunk at a party and not remembering sleeping with a guy. Where was Ben in all of this? He should have been belloweathering for the blood of this guy who was passing such shit around about his sister. Where was he, in fact, the night Louise did get drunk, start vomiting blood and fell into a fit?

The answer? Nowhere to be found.

O'Connor has sunk Ben and Jay into a Millennial version of Minty and Garry. They are Men Behaving Badly in a house share, guzzing booze, leaving discarded pizza about the house and playing drinking games with Donna, a thirtysomething old enough to know better. And when they're not doing all of the above, they're bad-mouthing Abi behind her back.

They are being presented now as a couple of losers. The most action Ben has seen since the death of Paul has been a one night stand with Johnny Carter, and all Jay does is stand in the distance and leer at girls through a booze-enhanced gaze. Jay did nothing but drink like a fish at Abi's party and make goo-eyes at some blonde extra standing around and looking like the Norwegian nanny in the previous night's episode. Ben did nothing but look after Jay. 

He was looking after Jay when a drunken Jay accosted Josh just to inform him that if he needed any advice about Abi, just consult himself, Jay, and Ben, of course, because they'd both been there and done that with Abi; and he was looking after a very drunken Jay when they had to wheel him home in Donna's wheelchair.

Under O'Connor, Ben has been so far removed from the Mitchell dynamic, it's difficult to remember that he is, indeed, a Mitchell. Prior to this episode, we had the totally embarrassing scene of a much-loved original character, Kathy, having to eat crow at the table of Queen Jane, the woman who binned her granddaughter's carcass on the Common.

I think it fair to say what we've all been trying to deny for the past seven years - that this is, indeed, a show in crisis; that for EastEnders, four episodes a week are bereft, whilst Emmerdale goes from strength to strength on six and Corrie is about to do the same. Those shows have stronger writers, better casts, more pacing and organising and, above all, producers who know and understand the show. Whoever is brought in after John Yorke's temporary tenure, to run the thing better not be someone who furthers the emphasis of characters whom he or she fancies to the detriment of the show. This means no more BranningVille, no more Carter Conundrum and no more Adventures of Denise and Michelle.

Get a grip.

It's Her Party and She'll Cry if She Wants To ... We got weeks of hype about Abi's 21st, an event in which only she seemed to take interest. Her mother didn't even bother to show up, and it was held in a glorified burger bar.

The interesting animosity/co-dependent relationship between Abi and Lauren should be interesting. Forget the offensive racial stereotypes of the awful, unfunny and uninteresting Fox non-sisters. The Branning girls could be interesting, if only from the perspective of being like the Mitchell sisters, except that they really don't like each other.

Instead, it's that last aspect which comes to the fore. They really aren't that likable. Abi isn't a psychopath, as some have suggested. She is, instead, a spoiled brat of a child, who's never grown up and who doesn't want to grow up. She's been jealous of her older sister only since a crisis developed which meant that both her parents had to focus on Lauren when Abi was in the middle of her A-Level exams. She isn't evil or lacking in empathy, she's just spoiled.

Abi wants to be loved. She wants her father's undivided attention, and she wants a boyfriend. A lot of her immature turmoil erupted when Jay binned her, and Lauren was about to embark on a relationship with Peter Beale. When it comes to Lauren, jealousy guides Abi. 

That said, Abi genuinely loves her father, and she is genuinely fond of Dot. In fact, she'd readily have remained living with Dot, had Jay, Ben and Donna not bullied her in her face about moving in with them - not because they really dug her personality and wanted her around the place, but because they wanted her rent money, and they appreciated the fact that she cooked and cleaned.

Lauren, on the other hand, is only concerned with herself before all others. At best, she disdains Abi, until she really needs her help and moral support. Abi spares no punches. She knows exactly what Lauren is about. She knows she's dishonest and secretive, that she's never satisfied with what she's got,and she can see by Lauren's behaviour that she's anything but satisfied with Steven; in fact, Abi suspects that Lauren's interested in Josh.

The party was all about Abi being played by yet another sexual predator, who had an interest in her sister and who was intent on bringing Lauren's jealousy out into the open. He succeeded, and that was cruel to Abi, who was actually naive enough to have believed that Josh, whom she'd only seen one other time in her life, and that when her face was smeared with ink, was actually interested enough in her to attend this party, or even that he was remotely romantically interested.

The highlight of the segment was the appearance of Cora. Odd, that Cora attended Abi's 21st, but there didn't seem to be any sighting of Dot, the grandmother with whom Abi had lived for quite some time. Ann Mitchell steals the scene in any episode, casting verbal asides at Max, sarcastically marvelling in his character transformation and accusing him of buying favour with his daughters.

The scene which should have been the climax of the episode should have been the kitchen showdown, where everything Abi verbally hurled at Lauren was true. Lauren does make everything all about her. In fact, her relationship with Steven and with her son is all about her having to have this wonderful job. Lauren also wasn't interested in Abi's welfare or rescuing her from potential embarrassment from Josh. She relished telling Abi that Josh was engaged. In fact the bitterness she felt in having learned this, she directed at Abi; and her leaving the party in hot pursuit of Josh didn't go unnoticed.

The twist in the tail of this silly storyline could have been dark and frightening. Instead, it was boringly predictable. Lauren sits in the café and listens to Josh tell her not only that he fancies her (with no word of him leaving the fiancée) but also that he knows that she's interested in him sexually, only to have Lauren describe Steven in terms she might use to describe a faithful pet (loyal, dependable) and to assert that she's staying with him. At least, it seems that, upon learning that Josh, himself, was in a committed relationship may have just opened Lauren's eyes a bit to his real motives of interest. So the budding affair, for the moment, didn't happen.

Instead, with Abi sulking in the kitchen at Beales', she cannot resist goading Steven with the fact that Lauren appears to have left the party with Josh, completely oblivious to Steven, reminding him that Lauren only acts in her own self-interests. The scene ends with a psycho Steven, shoving Abi up against the wall to begin having angry sex - angry consensual sex - with her.

It's odd, because had Abi not have appeared to respond to his sudden advance, this could almost have been a rape. There was no lust or passion, just anger and a desire on Steven's part to exert power and control, the two dominating forces which motivate a rape. But Abi seemed to welcome his action, more or less, as a release or revenge against Lauren. Yet it's certain that Steven won't want Lauren to know about this. 

Remember the last time angry sex occurred between two characters whose point of reference was the woman's sister, with whom the man was obsessed? 

Jack and Roxy, and the result of that was Amy; so maybe Steven will get the child he wanted with Lauren, with Abi, although the thought of Abi as a mother is quite repusulsive. Lorna Fitzgerald looked like a 12 year-old dressed in her mother's cocktail dress.

Poor episode from a poor producer.

Crook, Crock and Psychopaths Abounding - Review:- Thursday 22.06.2017

Well, that didn't last long, did it? One genuinely good episode following another that grabbed our interest, both showing problems, and now we're back to the same old same old once again.

It's the sheer inconsistency of being able to string together an interesting storyline with a beginning, definable development and closure. Instead, we have a jumble of this and that thrown together, storylines and the development therein so very long that people lose interest. With DTC, it was Stacey's key; with O'Connor, it's the interminable wait to see what's up Max's sleeve besides self-inflicted wound scars. By the time something definite happens, people either don't remember the original concept or they're too tired of waiting or too bored to care.

At the risk of being shouted down, I see a pattern in O'Connor's overriding mediocrity. 

Guess who were front and centre of this episode tonight, with yet another chronicle in their lives about to unfold?

Yep, that's right, folks. Kick off your shoes, sit back and try to be conned by O'Connor and the writing room that these two are the stars of the show and everything in this ensemble piece revolves around them.

The Michelle and Denise Show is back in town.

The Bitch and the Dog. Yet another storyline about Denise. Such trials and tribulations! First, the sympathy pitch - she's got word that the adoption of the secret Mitchell son has been finalised, so she falls back on cosying up to Kush for sympathy.

She has a sister and she has Patrick, both of whom were closely involved with her decision about the child. Why can't she turn to either one of them for comfort?

Now we get the story about Kush playing the Knight in Shining Armour, coming to Denise's rescue when Keegan's dog was off its lead and approached - and not in an aggressive way - Denise, Pearl and Arthur.

This was after the incident where Kush showed off for Denise by rescuing Pearl's toy duck from the pond and then hopped off to buy everyone an ice cream.

As a dog-owner and a dog-breeder, I have to answer this. 

Keegan was irresponsible in not maintaining the dog on the lead; I keep my dogs on their most of the time, and I live pretty much in the country. Whenever they're off the lead, if someone approaches, they're always called to heel and put back on the lead. I can appreciate that people who don't know strange dogs or animals in general feel uneasy around dogs roaming free, and I've certainly taken people to task when their dogs have approached mine when they are on the lead. You never know what might happen.

Even though I dislike her, I can appreciate her discomfort when the dog approached her; she's obviously not familiar with dogs, there were two young children and she reacted instinctively.

But, again, as someone who knows dogs and their body language and behaviour, this seems like a friendly dog. He wasn't aggressive. He was curious and, obviously having been part of a family that included children and young children (Karen's grandchildren), he approached. Dogs are attracted to what is familiar. Had he been aggressive, he would have lurched without warning, shown his teeth and barked vociferously. The growl wasn't even an aggressive growl. And, yes, Keegan was right about the dog's behaviour with Denise's bag, although she wasn't to know or understand his behaviour. He really did want a tug of war.

Keegan was wrong to have the dog off the lead whilst he talked with his mates; Denise and Kush were wrong in taking their eye off the kids for whom they were responsible, instead of making goo-goo eyes at each other, and she was wrong to actually kick the dog into the pond. Had she and Kush both taken the kids and gone for ice cream, instead of her poncing about whilst he went for the grub, none of this would have happened.

Also, Keegan knows how to play the system. She assaulted him, a minor, and she's already on discharge for that offence. Had he reported her to the police, he would have got a ticking-off for having the dog off the lead, but he could have made a case for her kicking the animal into the pond - and don't you think his mates, all standing around (including the one with the full beard who looked more like a thirtysomething than a 15 year-old schoolboy), would have readily offered themselves up as witnesses? That's an offence - in fact, it's assault - because aggressive action against a person or a person's property is considered assault. Denise was right in saying she would go to jail.

Still, that was also a cheap shot about subtly threatening the Taylors with having their dog put down. I used to live next door to a family whose dog was always getting out of their garden. The dog was not aggressive in the least and very friendly and soft, but because another neighbour reported her approaching her two kids, and not in any aggressive way, they reported the animal and the family to the local police and the animal was put down. Don't get me wrong - the family in question were a load of deadbeats, but another neighbour, a responsible dog owner, phoned the authorities and offered to take the dog into his home, but by that time, they'd put her down.

The Taylors know how to play the system; they also have a history with Denise that involves the police; and whilst they don't know that Kush is covering for her, it won't take the police long to know that, peripherally, she'll be seen to be involved in this, and it won't look good for Kush. He won't go to jail, but it will be seen as an assault against the property of someone whom Denise has assaulted in the past.

And, yes, the authorities would have dealt with Denise accordingly. They Taylors would have built their case around her history with Keegan. He was quick to recognise and accuse her action of having to do with her hatred of him, and Karen would have been the first to report how it was Denise who approached the family in general, initially, when they arrived, to make sure they knew who she was. These people know how to use their socio-economic status as well as how to use the law. Karen is even on a first-name basis with one of the investigating police officers. 

The twist in this tale was Denise playing cutesy-cute and leaving Kush a toy duck as a birthday present. Really, this so-called gob-faced idiot is one of the most man-dependent creatures on the show. I suppose she was feeling smug about the way she passive-aggressively handled the Taylors by insinuating that she could have their dog put down - even suggesting openly to Keegan that this is what should be done with the animal. But the real twist came at the end, when the Taylors actually did report Kush to the police, because they believe him to have been the culprit. 

Let's see how quickly the Patron Saint of Po-Face admits to having assaulted the dog - and by default, Keegan, again - to save Kush from being charged.

Carmel will be itching for her blood.

Most Psychopaths Seem Like Normal People. Who is the mysterious Tom Bailey? 

Before I surmise, I just want to say that I was never a fan of Ronnie Mitchell's, and god knows it was time for her to go (albeit not Roxy); but when I see O'Connor trying to force-feed the Fox sisters as viable substitutes and replacement for the Mitchell sisters, I gag a maggot.

Tonight, we had to suffer Kim making openly snide remarks about Michelle when she showed up at The Albert to meet her date. Coincidentally, it was yet another Singles' Night that Kim was hosting, so the first remark she made to Michelle, a paying punter, was about making sure she would be in the "Eighteen and Older Section" and later about checking the IDs of anyone hovering near Michelle.

I'm not a fan of Michelle's at all, in this incarnation, but she did what she did, and now she's trying to move on. There comes a time when people have to allow this. Michelle did nothing that affected Kim. She behaved badly, irresponsibly and illegally (in the country where she was living at the time), and the only people who suffered from that were her family and the family of the boy in question. Yet Kim has to be a big enough bitch to snark about this situation in not-so-subtle insults to Michelle's face. The joke about that was that Kim isn't so clean either. 

I well remember New Year's Eve 2010, the night that James Branning died and Tommy Moon was kidnapped and Kim's behaviour that night. She'd long been making suggestive remarks to Fatboy, who must have been in his late teens at that time, and that night, she got so drunk, she crawled the length of the bar to try to kiss him. The way she gets away with making rude remarks to people's faces, and the way it's played for comedy just wouldn't wash in real life. In real time, someone would have smacked the shit out of Kim by now, and maybe someone should. Michelle should have ordered up her drink, after suffering, in good grace, Kim's open insults and then flung it in her smug face.

If you want to know how much the Mitchell sisters are missed, just watch the Fox sisters and weep.

With the mysterious man on the Tube, we get another EastEnders staple - another Trevor Morgan-ish deceptively nice man, who seems to be pleasant, funny, self-deprecatingly charming - a widower making the first ventures into the social foray after the death of his wife. I say Trevor Morganish, because we know he's not a nice man. 

We suspected as much when we saw him standing outside the Mitchell house, obviously after having followed Michelle home after earlier turning around to gaze at her as he left the Tube. As he stood there, we watched him scroll through photo after photo of her he'd surreptitiously taken on the Tube. 

And tonight we know he isn't a nice man, because literally as he rounded the corner after having left her with a peck on the cheek, he bumped into a man, who apologised for not seeing him with the casual ...

Sorry, mate.

- an action, which prompted a snarling reply from Tom, that he was not his mate. It was aggressive, sudden and weird. The instant the man bumped into him, his face transformed from bland passivity into aggressive anger. Once the man had walked on, almost instantaneously, Tom's face resumed its habitual blandness.

Of course, this man isn't who he purports to be. I get weird vibes from him. He told the tale about his wife's death - which may or may not be true - and when Michelle made oblique references to the tale of her marriage, he automatically assumed that its end came as a result of her husband pursuing someone younger. But you instantly got the impression that he knew differently. He initially gave her enough pause to elaborate on his assumption, but Michelle let that lie at first - understandably so, because she was unsure of what his reaction would be to the truth; but upon parting, when she attempted to rectify his assumption, he wouldn't let her.

I don't know who he is, and I don't know his motives.I'm wondering if he's a British relative or friend of the Prestonovichs', whom they've contacted in order to wreak some sort of terror or revenge on Michelle.

And here I was, hoping he'd be a genuine romantic interest who'd marry her and take her off to live in Aberdeen.

The Most Embarrassing Part of This Episode. It was bad enough under Kirkwood/Newman that we had Sharon grovelling to the insipid, selfish, materialistic and boozy Tanya for crumbs from her table of friendship, but tonight we saw Kathy humbly submit to Jane's moral authority and literally beg to be allowed to remain in the Beale home.

Sorry, but the phrase "moral authority" and Jane don't belong together in the same sentence, because Jane has no moral authority. She abandoned any moral authority she had the night she bunged Lucy's body into the back of her car and subsequently dumped her on the Common.

The other incongruity came when it had to be Steven - Steven, who wanted Jane out of the Beale equation so much that he morally undermined her and even sympbolically removed her from a Beale family photo - who actually argued Jane's corner for Ian, but in a way which Ian could understand, and which linked the question of Kathy's abandonment of her sons for almost a decade with - wait for it - comfort eating.

All Kathy did was make a homemade lasagna for Ian - probably using fresh ingredients and healthy foods - and pass him the occasional biscuit. Yes, he has to watch his diet, but every morsel of food going into his mouth is regulated by the Jane police, and it was obvious that Ian wasn't enjoying his new diet. Somehow, O'Connor manages to use this tosh, this endless public service announcement, all about Kathy's efforts to make Ian feel better by feeding him up as a penance for having disappeared from his life for so long.

Okay, she's fattening Ian up as penance for her insurance fraud, to make him feel good, but Ian was a grown man with children when she left. That doesn't mean he wasn't affected, but Ben,her other son, was a small child. What, exactly, is she doing to make Ben feel good after disappearing from his life for his formative years? Oh, wait ... she paid the deposit on a house for him to rent, and that was that. Ben was affected far more by her abandonment than Ian. Ben was still a child.

Somehow, O'Connor has made a mincemeat of a moral paradigm out of one single lasagna, in an effort to show how submissive and how utterly secondary Kathy has become to this family, especially Jane and her excessive control of Ian. When Kathy steps out of line and does something of which Jane doesn't approve, she issues an ultimatum to Kathy that it's her way or the highway for Kathy and then induces Ian to soften the blow with a lot of sentimental tosh about Kathy buying sweets for him as a child.

Actually, how much did Kathy actually cook for Ian? Is this her major storyline, the result of which has her tugging her forelock and humbly kowtowing to Queen Jane?

Pull the other one, please.

Psycho Steven. I was never a fan of Aaron Sidwell's Steven previously, but I am now. The problem with this story is that it's presenting Lauren as a victim, stuck between a deeply insecure man with a history of mental illness, who undermines her decision not to have another child right away and subtly seeks to control her and an equally creepy man in a position of professional authority who's essentially grooming her to become his executive sexual plaything.

The problem is that Lauren, as a victim, isn't exactly sympathetic material. In her own way,she's as flawed as both Steven and Josh. She's selfish, self-serving, sneaky, dishonest with herself and with others, and she's a coward. 

She's bored by life with Steven; in her darkest moments alone, she probably admits to herself that she's bored with her son. She is never seen to lift a finger in the Beale household, where she lives rent-free, nor does she offer any sort of financial remuneration in the way of rent. She takes for granted that Ian, Jane or, mostly, Steven will be on hand to babysit her son whenever she wants a night out or has to work late. She's afraid to dump Steven, not because she'll have no place to go - she has a grandmother, an uncle and father and a sister living on the Square as well as a mother in Devon - but because she knows that Ian Beale would fight tooth and nail to retain custody of his grandson.

And she's stupid, because, also deep down, she believes the tosh fed her by Josh about his "arranged" engagement and the fiancée who doesn't understand him.

The fact that Steven deliberately sabatoged his own relationship with Lauren by defacing his condoms so she would fall pregnant is brought home to him doubly by Abi confessing to Lauren having an abortion. He's said nothing to her as yet, but Abi's continuing presence, first niggling his conscience, then trying to apologise after the fact brings him ominously to the edge, He's as much of a control freak as Josh in his own way, and he controlled himself enough in Abi's presence not to destroy her birthday cake, instead waiting until he was alone to demolish it, before calmly getting out sacks of flour, and a mixing bowl, ostensibly to start again.

However, EastEnders is good at one thing - displaying foreshadowing props in the background. Remember the first condom Steven defaced? It was with a kitchen knife - the biggest example of foreshadowing this year in the show. And there in the background of the kitchen at Beales' tonight, was a full array of kitchen knives, prominently on display.

What could possibly go wrong on Friday?

The Runt of the Litter. Seeing Pam in dribs and drabs only makes me realise how viable a character she'd still be today. Of course, the grand beginning of Billy's life as a businessman gets off with a whimper rather than a bang, but the heart-to-heart Pam had with Billy was the best part of the episode. 

I'm not so sure about Honey, however. Since Billy's elevation, she seems to be getting off earnestly on the fact that Billy's now a name above a business, oddly reminiscent of the way Jane used to get off big on being Mrs Beale.

And how long before Jack is sleeping with the blonde Norwegian nanny?

Once in a Blue Moon - Review:- Tuesday 20.06.2017

This was the best episode of this programme I have seen in a long, long time. It's just a shame that there isn't any consistency about the show now, that there will be others of its caliber anytime soon. It stuck to a theme, had two major plotlines move in the right direction, there was progress in character development, and the performances - especially those of Tilly Keeper, Zach Morris, Aaron Sidwell and the brilliantly understated Jake Wood (who could give a masterclass in understated acting) - were pitch perfect. 

I've been hard on the show of late,and I'll be harder yet again, because I don't like the direction in which Sean O'Connor has taken this show - e.g., inserting his favourites randomly into scenes with the twofold purpose of reminding people that they are still there, albeit taking a brief break from the limelight, and of using those miniscule scenes as a subtle piece of publicity for furthering developing storylines of their own. Tonight, it was Michelle's turn. When it's not Michelle, it's Denise; when it's not Denise, it's Michelle. But I can overlook that because of the quality, the tension and the nuance displayed in this episode.

When EastEnders is good, it's excellent and the top of the class; when it's bad, it's a shambles.

The Brannings. The end of the episode saw Max genuinely conflicted, but we knew that halfway through the piece. Max has issues, that's for certain. He has issues with his family - with his brother and the favouritism shown Jack by his parents when he and Max were children; with his own children and the selfishness they've inherited from both Max and Tanya and the callous way they've actually turned on Max in the past. He certainly has issues with the community, which basically hung him out to dry when he was accused of having killed Lucy Beale - and he genuinely does have a bone to pick with Ian, Jane, Phil and Sharon.

But Max isn't a bad man.

He genuinely and unconditionally loves his children, or else he wouldn't forgive them a thousand-fold when they take their frustrations out on him. He instinctively stepped in and supported Jack in the immediate aftermath of Ronnie's death, without thinking the morning her death was discovered. I would wager that Max was conflicted even when he was in prison, which is where his self-harm began and where he used this as a means of directing his anger on the safest and closest person to him in that instance - himself. It was also a means of control, of making himself stronger and able to withstand the pain which he was about to inflict.

I would also wager the cellmate, who came to his rescue (the job, the flash car, the money) is also demanding something in return - Albert Square delivered up on a plate to a corporate firm of property developers, whose business may or may not be a front for money laundering, amongst other things. I would also make a bet that the cellmate is Josh's father.

But all it takes for Max to reflect on what his actions will accomplish is a genuine act of kindness. Even before today, pin pricks of conflict emerged as he watched Lauren's behaviour around Josh. He knows who Josh is and of what he's capable, and he knows that Josh's intentions toward Lauren aren't the sort which would engender a lasting and normal relationship. Josh wants a quick fling amongst the hoi-polloi as a break from his posh girlfriend.

Yet it was Jack coming up trumps and instinctively so, through the pain of losing Matthew, by understanding the loss Max has felt through the death of his oldest son and the separation from his youngest, which turned Max.This is a first for Jack, who never acts in anyone's interests other than his own, much less Max's. It was a catharsis for him, after Matthew's departure, which was down to Max's manipulations, to be able to do this for Max, to offer him the best gift of all for Father's Day, a chance to spend the entire day with his three surviving children and his grandchild, to banter with Oscar and to play a family game. It was psychological medicine for Jack, and it brought home to Max all he really stands to lose. In the midst of this, for the first time in a long time, Jack reaches out to bond with Max, and this touches Max to the quick.

He's like the traitor who starts out as a nice enough bloke, consorting with the tough guy who's the unknown entity, until he realises he's on a treasonous route of no return, and it's too late to get out of the game. The jokey poker face references during the game with Oscar were symbolic - Max has maintained a stiff, emotionless poker face throughout all of Jack's turmoil, until that moment alone in the kitchen when the rest of the family is waiting to say good-bye to Oscar, without moving an inch of facial muscle, Jake Wood's eyes tell the real story of Max's conflict and turmoil. The destruction of the poker apparatus afterward was symbolic too - there's no getting out of this for Max. He has to keep playing the game, but whom will he bluff? His family and the community he calls home, or the white-collared crooks who pay his wages?

The rest of the Branning segment of this episode dealt with the beginning of the aftermath of Abi's confession to Steven about Lauren's abortion. I gather the climax of this turmoil will occur at Abi's 21st birthday party on Friday.

Abi is a Peter Pan person. She's the woman who was happiest as a child, before she was old enough to know about Max's infidelities, when she was the true Daddy's girl of the piece, who liked nothing better than to cuddle up to Max at the end of the day, her world revolved around him and her pets. In the wake of the Stax reveal, she never once denounced Max - even taking the newborn Oscar out in the middle of the night in her pajamas, whilst Tanya canoodled with Sean Slater, in order to spend the night with Max.

She was happiest as a child, and that's why I think she was really happiest living with Dot, where Dot fussed over her, cooked for her and paid attention to her needs. She felt safe there. When she initially thought about moving into the house-share, she decided against it, preferring to stay with Dot, until she was bamboozled and bullied into moving in by Ben and Jay (who used to be her friends) and by Donna, who really couldn't give a monkey's arse about Abi, except that she makes the rent they have to pay that much cheaper and that she cooks and cleans.

Even though Abi states that she's always lived in Lauren's shadow, her real problems with Lauren began when she was studying for her A-Levels, with hopes of studying veterinary science at university, and her parents were running around like headless chickens because Lauren's drinking was out of confrol. In the middle of all this, she did badly in her exams, broke up with Jay and Lauren became stronger and settled into a relationship with Peter Beale.

She repudiated her father, and even now, is on an uneasy keel with him, partly because she thinks he favours Lauren, who has a child and a job and a seemingly committed relationship, but also because she cannot understand why her father would forgive her repudiation. Of Abi and Lauren, it was Abi who was the least happy to see Max return to Walford. 

She basically wants her old place in her family to be restored to her, but the way it was when she was a child. At one and the same time, she dislikes and is jealous of Lauren - and to be truthful, her assessment of Lauren as a selfish, self-centred,self-absorbed bitch who is never satisfied with what she's got, is aptly correct; yet she longs for a close, sisterly relationship, which is why - to a point - she remained non-judgemental of Lauren when she confessed her pregnancy and her intention to have a termination. Where Abi was right was in advising Lauren to tell Steven. As much as Lauren, she knows, from their time with Max and Tanya, that nothing is gained by keeping secrets.

I think more than Lauren and from the moment she told Steven Lauren's secret, Abi gauged the true extent of just how unpredictable and unstable Steven is. Just as she cannot understand Max's unconditional love for her as a father's love for a child (hence, her inability to accept his casual and easy banter with her, misinterpreting it as criticism), she can't understand Steven's insistence on forgiving Lauren or the depth of his love for her. 

Abi knows Lauren. She also instinctively knows Lauren isn't satisfied with Steven, no matter how much she protests that she is. She feels a bond with Steven, who has been made to feel marginalised, not only by Lauren, who won't even attempt to recognise the bond he's forged with her child, but also by Ian, whom he overheard blatanly saying that Steven, the child who isn't his son, doesn't hold the same place in Ian's heart as his natural children. Steven's feeling of alienation is real, and it isn't so much that Abi's alienation isn't real - it is - but it's the extent to which her alienation is down to her own poor self-esteem, which manifests itself in jealousy and bitterness.

She simply doesn't feel that Lauren deserves the credit Steven gives her.

One scene stood out for me in this segment, and that was Steven's confrontation with Abi, after he'd left the house for Louis's nappies, when Lauren was attempting to leave when she learned Josh was outside. I'm no big fan of Abi; she's certainly done some stupid things, but Ben and the Mitchells treated her appallingly, whilst making numerous excuses for Ben's equally bad behaviour. Now, Steven makes her out to be totally unlikable,a bitter and twisted little bitch. His call-out on her character is prescient, especially considering what subsequently happened.

Steven spent most of the episode, silently dwelling on the fact that Lauren had aborted their child and being juxtaposed with any and all sorts of baby references - coming back to the pub to hear about Martin's and Stacey's baby news, sitting at a table with a variety of fathers (Ian, Martin and Patrick have all raised or are raising boys who weren't their biological sons) and listening to tales of sleepless nights, nappie changing and the like). And finally having Ian admit his remarks were out of order about referring to him as anything less than his son, reaffirming his love for Steven and finally having a heart-to-heart with Steven about the future of his relationship with Lauren.

The ultimate outcome of this segment of the episode was the re-emergence of psycho Steven. Everyone seems to have forgotten that Steven has more than just a smidgeon of instability. When he spies Lauren having an intimate chat with Josh inside Josh's Range Rover, he plays the pair of them brilliantly, acting the nice guy until Lauren's out of sight before pointedly reminding Josh that he really isn't so nice at all. He later leaves Abi with the same warning.

The Josh-Lauren dynamic makes me uneasy. Lauren is bored with Steven, but she feels guilty about the abortion, and she's genuinely trying - or at least, she tells herself she is - to give Steven her full, undivided attention; but her attention keeps getting deflected by Josh, who continues texting her remorselessly. This has nothing to do with work and everything to do with attention-seeking. Max had revealed openly to Lauren that Josh was engaged to be married, and since then, Josh has unabatedly tried to contact Lauren about this.

The conversation in Josh's car was the classic committed man's pithy excuses to his bit on the side, to reassure her of his intentions and to get her to keep the promised bed warm - the fiancée was away travelling, their relationship was almost an arranged one, he'd got engaged to her to please his father, the relationship was over when she left on her tour ... the usual tissue of lies, which Lauren bought hook, line and sinker. He's grooming her. She should have known from the very beginning, when he copped that kiss, that his interst in her was nothing professional. She's his plaything, the interest of the moment, and - as he says - he always gets what he wants. She gains nothing by reminding him that he'd never said anything about a committed relationship before, but he rightly puts the ball back in her court by reminding her that she thought to keep the fact that she had a boyfriend and a child a secret. However much Lauren might try to say this was a private matter, it wasn't. 

I said all along that this was going to end in tears -probably at Abi's party, if not later.

The Mitchells. I said this was the beginning of Keegan's redemption, and it was, with an ugly twist. Both Tilly Keeper and Zach Morris played blinders in this, but credit where credit is due to Letitia Dean and Lorraine Stanley as well for their part. Sharon was pitch perfect in pointing out to Karen that Louise was rendered prostrate over this entire ordeal. Whether Keegan's admission was a lie or not, Louise couldn't remember what happened,and she had reason to believe that she really was raped.

This was Sharon at her best, and being met verbal blow-by-blow by Karen, equally on the defensive for her child. When Karen makes the mistake of appearing to blame the entire incident on Louise having her drink spiked, Sharon's having none of it. The crux question is how Keegan knew of a birthmark on an intimate part of Louise's body, something about which he would know nothing unless he had seen her unclothed.

The revelation of this piece of information, especially when Keegan arrives home, strikes Karen dumb. In order to be able to defend him,she has to know from whom he got information about the birth mark, and when he tells her, she marches him around to the Mitchells' home with the news.

He wastoldabout the birth mark by Dennis - think back to his spying on the girls undressing for the Christmas pageant.

That was the surprise twist, and whether or not Sharon's words sank into Dennis is beside the point. For all she told Karen off about parenting, she hasn't been a good parent to Dennis - or else,she'd have turned Michelle out of the Mitchell house the moment she'd learned that Michelle had smacked her son. Instead,Michelle hangs about the place like a bad smell, and all the kerfuffle about the party would never have come to be, had Sharon and Michelle not got drunk, only to be told off (rightly) by Louise and then held to ransom by Louise about having a sleepover.

The climax of this segment was Keegan being forced to face a visibly distressed Louise, who demanded to know why he had propagated such a rumour about her without compunction. The viewers knew the reason why he'd done it - he'd confessed to his mother that he did so, because he liked her, and because he wanted to make things difficult and awkward for the seemingly perfect middle-class lad she liked, who had humiliated him. In the end, he couldn't tell her the reason for his lie. He was so ashamed, he couldn't even look at her, but when he did, it was to apologise.

I don't want TPTB to go in the direction of an eventual romance between Louise and Keegan.He's ruined her reputation, something that will be hard to shake off in the immediate future. But yet again, the bullies seem to be let off to live another day. It would be a big mistake and almost a perversion to have a romance develop between Louise and Keegan, yet I can't help but feel that Keegan is yet another walking social more of Sean O'Connor's - a walking socio-political statement - instead of a real character. 

Like his mother, though.

Kathy and Jane. Kathy is right. The odd treat and deviation from a rigid diet won't hurt Ian's diabetes, and Jane is becoming too much of a control freak. This is the woman who aided in the disposal of Kathy's granddaughter's body and callously lied about it for a year.

I resented Jane's remark to Kathy about Kathy living in Jane's house under Jane's rules. Pardon me, but I thought the house was Ian's and in Ian's name; and I think Ian would definitely have something to say about Jane trying to boot his mother out of their home. What's amazing is Ian's fear of displeasing Jane. Why does he fear her leaving him? She won't. She's drilled fear of the most extreme outcomes to Ian's diabetes into him..This is going to evolve into a power struggle for control of Ian, at least on Jane's part. She sees how fond he is of Kathy, what he's done for her and how he's influenced by her, and she doesn't like what he sees.

Me, I'm Team Kathy.