Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Three Stooges - Review:- 08.05.2014


I need to say something here for clarification.

I am not a fan of Dominic Treadwell-Collins. Far from it. However, I do give credit where credit is due, and he has done some things, since taking over the helm of the show, which have certainly surprised me and for which I give him credit.

For example, I never thought I'd be a fan of Cora's, much less opining that Danny Dyer's casting as Mick Carter was inspirational; and if the Lucy Beale murder plot works out the way I think it will, the action of the 25th Anniversary show will pale in comparison.

No, I don't like the retconning - but DTC wasn't the only EP who did that; Kirkwood and Newman after him and Berridge before him did their fair share; and the sensationalist aspect could be reduced, but I'm not going to be one of those perpetually dissatisfied fans who find fault in everything he does.

But when there's a stench, I'll point it out.

Prat(er) Beale


Ah, if only Peter and Lauren were posh and proper ... well, Peter's posh but he isn't at all proper.

I tell you one thing Lucy Beale's death accomplished - it brought out the innate selfishness in everyone associated with her.

We all know how both the Beale boys - Ian and David - aren't above using a bit of tragedy that falls their way in order to get a leg-over, but tonight's episode focused on Prat(er) Beale and Lauren, who is the very embodiment of the entitled, self-obsessed Millennial. I find it hilarious that Lauren's "job" and "business" consists of sitting at the dining room table going through the "hundreds" of e-mails she's received, when she's really only concentrating on one - Red Herring Number Three (or is it Four)? Because Jake Stone is not the murderer, and he didn't mistake Lauren for Lucy.


Jake Stone is a drunk - not a cocaine addict, a drunk, an alcoholic, and definitely not a dealer - who will leave Walford in a box sometime this summer, possibly killed by the same person who killed Lucy.

Line of the night and BIG Christie-esque hint goes to Prat(er):- What if he's a psychopath? (Psychopath, being the operative word). Peter was speaking about the mystery e-mail man - not rocket science to figure out who it would be - whom they assume to be the person who killed Lucy. Unwittingly, Peter actually did describe the person or persons who killed Lucy accurately. Psychopaths.

Prat(er) certainly spoke a home truth to Lauren, who's suddenly made this murder all about herself and the possibility that the killer intended to kill her, instead. It was all about her with yet another epiphany moment, recognising that she was an alcoholic - excuse me, a recovering alcoholic who's accomplished nothing except breaking up someone's marriage before she was twenty. Like mother, like daughter. Yet another snobby home truth (and here Prat(er) sounded more like his old man than he knew) when Prat(er) scoffed that Lauren the Loser, who "hadn't even finished college" could accomplish more than the police.


Wow, all that from the spoiled son of the local entrepreneur who, instead of spending a year at uni, spent a year bumming out and surfing in Devon and now fronts a fruit and veg stall.

I'm no fan of Lauren, an awful character played by ...

THE. WORST. ACTRESS. EVER. TO. 

APPEAR. IN. EASTENDERS.



... but the final line Peter spoke to Lauren, where he wished it had been Lauren and not Lucy who was killed, was the very epitome of the sort of thing a spoiled, entitled brat would say.

First of all, whilst Peter was away in Devon, presumably finishing his A-Levels before spending a year messing around with his surfer dude buddies on the beach, Lauren was having major problems of her own, mostly to do with alcohol. Peter has no right to criticise Lauren for not furthering her education, when he's done nothing of the sort either. In fact, were it not for his Daddy-o, what sort of work would Peter be doing without qualifications?

Secondly, I don't care if he is grieving his sister or a thousand sisters, wishing Lauren dead to her face was something that needn't be uttered at any time. That was just the crass, rude sort of thing that Ian Beale would say whilst hiding behind some sort of grief or tragedy. We've heard him say as much to Bobby, and now Peter's saying something similar to Lauren.

My liking for Peter, who, previously, had been one of the most positive depictions of a young person on the show and played by a capable actor, has tanked. He deserves Lauren, two of the most self-obsessed, spoiled and entitled children of two of the most selfish and self-centred men in the show. Pity the progeny they produce.

As well as Denise, I feel mightily sorry for Lola in all of this. She's done nothing except what Peter wanted Lauren to do - be there for him. She's been kind, gentle, understanding and all he's done is treat her with contempt and utter rudeness, hiding behind his sister's death as a masquerade for the reason that he doesn't think she's his social equal. She's done more for him than the insipid Lauren (it's a pity the fame school Jossa attended didn't offer courses in speech and vocal modulation, or if they did, she didn't take them). The way she screechedGREAT tonight was like chalk on a blackboard. Lauren's done nothing but stare blankly at Peter and pout, and yet that's what he perceives as "being there" for him. It's just a euphemism for her being more his social equal than the warm-hearted Lola. It's better for his image as the posh barrowboy son of the local big businessman to have a girlfriend who dresses up in a silly suit and sits at the dining room table "going through e-mails" for a living.

Peter's lies to Lola tonight were unforgiveable and despicable,grieving or not, he's a prat. There's more than one victim, suffering because of the Beales and Lucy's death. I've counted four already - Denise, Masood, Bobby and now Lola. If Lola gets hurt, rest assured one particular Mitchell is going to take exception to Peter.

A Proper Charlie.


Speaking of psychopaths, the most interesting part of the episode tonight was Dot and Not-Charlie, along with the Cokers' involvement.

YOOF ALERT! The Cokers have a grandson named Paul, who's currently on a gap year from uni, meaning he's roughly about nineteen years old. He got a mention twice. You know what that means. Yep, somewhere along the course of the year, we'll have another teen descend upon us, most probably a romantic interest for Nancy or Abi, if she sticks around.

It's quite obvious that Not-Charlie is not a cop. I don't know what his "night shift" entailed, but I doubt it was policing. And it's obvious that Les Coker is not a killer. He was unwittingly involved in a cover-up of some sort - I'm still saying that there was coke stashed in that coffin, along with a body which did not belong to Nick Cotton. Hand me a couple of G and T's and I'd go as far as saying Ryan Molloy's ashes are hanging about Dot's house in an urn marked "Nick Cotton" and the Walford Businesswoman of the Year, who's making a killing (pun intended) on those e-mails unwittingly has in her possession, something in which Not-Charlie would be very interested. When Stacey returns and Not-Charlie finds out who she is and that she has her key back, he'll be very interested in her as well. As will someone else.

Now Not-Charlie's got to beat a hasty retreat from Walford, and if that means taking Grandma Dot, so be it; however, she unwittingly gave Not-Charlie a piece of formidable ammunition and information tonight when she related the story of Nick's attempted poisoning of her years ago. I remember that. Dot might regret that, but Arthur's suspecting something, you can tell.

Some people are having trouble with the theory that Charlie is part and parcel of Lucy's killing, or indeed, that Ronnie is her killer.

Listen, forget about Ronnie-the-Tragic-Victim. She is a full-on psychopath. Michael Moon, another psychopath, recognised that, and so does Not-Charlie Cotton. Like always finds like.

Charlie initially hung around Walford and Dot in the wake of "Nick's" death and funeral because, as Dot's grandson, that's what any relative would be expected to do. If he'd shown up, admitted who he was and disappeared, scores of questions would be asked - nonetheless by Dot, who was reluctant to believe Charlie was who he said he was. But his presence convinced Dot so much that now she's dependent on his company. Let's face it, now that Bradley's dead, Jack's gone, and Abi's revising, precious few Brannings make the trek across the Square to see Dot. As far as she's concerned, Not-Charlie is her grandson, and that's that. She keeps badgering him until he returns, but it's been made obvious in this episode that Charlie isn't keen on keeping company with Grandma Dot, until he perceives how close she is to the Cokers, and Les made his demand.

As for Ronnie, Christie's killers are usually the people least seen and least suspected. And there will be a motive.

Arrested Development: Tina.


If Tosh is supposed to be a new version of Trevor Morgan and The Court Jester the new Little Mo, it ain't working. Tosh is renting the box room in what appears to be a three-bedroomed flat, yet Tina is so entitled to think that she has more right to bring nothing but meaningless junk into a limited space. To me, it was Tina acting like an a-hole in this situation tonight, and the Queen of Scrotes had to interfere, like some down-market version of PsychoRonnie protecting yet another childwoman in the mix.

If Tosh is supposed to be an abuser, then Tina is no victim, but rather some spoiled-arsed bratwoman who seems to think she's entitled to more than she's due. Who lives in fancy dress at forty? Tina and Shirley stink up an otherwise outstanding new family. I just wish the two of them would do one.

Martin got a positive mention. Wow.

Better episode than the previous two.


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