Sunday, August 31, 2014

De Trop - Review:- 25.08-29.08.2014


The question of the week, peeps, is simple:- Are the Carters being overused, and are you getting pig sick of them?

Brutally put, in other words, are they the new Brannings?

Comments on various fora would indicate that they are being seriously overused. Of course, we are going to see a lot of them. They run the pub, but there's ever so much the propensity to inject them into each and every storyline that it's becoming ... well, a mite de trop.

I'm just getting over the fact that Sharon's big storyline isn't really Sharon's big storyline at all, when I'm hit with the fact that the Carters are being served up yet another "big storyline" in the shape of creepy Dean raping Linda. 

That's in addition to Lee's and Whitney's romance, the secret that Mick and Linda aren't married, the secret that hes Shirley's son,  Johnny's obvious romance with Ben, and the return of Sylvie. Add to that that somehow, someway the Carter clan will be involved in the resolution of Lucy Beale's murder and that just about makes it The Carter Show, starring the amazing Shirley Carter.

To be honest, the rape storyline doesn't surprise me in the least. In fact, I called it from the onset. Matt di Angelo gave a lot away when he disclosed the argument he had with DTC ...


... when he intimated he wasn't happy with this storyline. Stands to reason. If you care to remember, the last time he was around, di Angelo's character was axed. By Santer and his henchman, DTC. I appreciate that di Angelo saw Dean being paired off with Stacey, I did as well. In fact, I'd lobbied for the return of Dean Wicks for years, based on how much di Angelo had improved as an actor. There were avenues to be explored - the hint that he'd been raped in prison, for example, and certainly his relationship with his mother; but it seems that most of the previously axed characters making brief comebacks (Honey) are having a line drawn under them.

I guess that's true with di Angelo, which is a shame, because he's a good actor, and the show is low on the 25-40 male demographic. Dean has a shelf life. He'll be tagged as a rapist and leave the show, although somewhere along the line, there's bound to be a twist.

Already, the Carters' masks are falling, but somehow, something cynical deep inside me tells me that this storyline, like every storyline, will ultimately be about DTC's favourite: Shirley.

And Shirley is not Pat.


Babes in Arms: Let's Put on a Show! - 25.08.2014


Another filler episode treading water. The highlight was, undoubtedly, Phil foisting Rainie on a very surprised Cora. This is a relationship I want to see explored, especially as the last time Rainie graced our screens, it was all about Tanya, Tanya, Tanya. As brief as they were, Tanya Franks's scenes lit up the screen, and I'm looking forward to Cora and Rainie getting to the depth and the pit of both their addiction issues.

The rest of the episode consisted of bits and bobs and starter storylines. The central theme being parties for various causes. Besides family dinners, EastEnders likes impromptu parties. I watch a lot of old films, and there were a series of films a very young Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney would do, which always entailed some major difficulty, which was surmounted by the grand idea of ... I know what we'll do! Let's put on a show!

Tonight was much along the same line ... I know! Let's have a party for Patrick and invite all his friends! I know! Let's have a Cockney Carnival to cheer Linda up!

Last things first, another cheer-up-Linda time. This episode was really an optimum example of why the Carters need a big, long rest. They were ridiculous and annoying. Lee and Whitney especially. En route to the aborted carnival, Lee was acting like a cheeky fourteen year-old, and if Whitney giggled anymore, I was afraid she was going to choke. It's August - wasn't she a mite hot in that get-up? 

I like Linda, but the character is childish, and the entire family enables her behaviour with this constant little-girl-partytime they throw at her. People might have trouble believing this, but a Cockney Carnival would be just the sort of gimmick Alfie Moon would have tried when he had the tenancy of the pub, and - yes - Alfie would have worn the headdress, just like Mick. OK, I get that all of this was to cheer Linda up, initially, and hope for the best that she'd forgive Mick for his covering for Ian; but it took a different turn when Ian and his party entered the pub, which was what the eventual crux of this storyline was going to be - Mick, finding his balls amongst the pink flamingoes. It just seems that all of the instant carnival tat and the giggling and screeching that went with it on Whitney's and Lee's part, was totally unnecessary and was just inserted in order to give the Carters that much more screen time - not to mention Lee's vaguely racist headdress. (What is it about EastEnders and subtle racism lately?)

Topping that, we had the return of Tina stinking up the place. It's obvious the actress has been on holiday somewhere warm and sunny, comparing her tan with Whitney's paleness. I'm no fan of Tosh, but I find her a lot more sympathetic than Tina, who can't keep her one brain cell focused on anything for more than five or ten seconds. Tosh isn't worried as much about her child being without a father as much as she's worried about the lying, stealing, cheating piece of flesh with whom she lives remaining committed. Besides, who wants to go into a pub for a drink, only to hear the details of two women actively trolling the internet for a sperm donor? Still, the Carters are nothing, if not classy.

And did anyone even think to get a message to Nancy, who was supposed to be meeting the crew at the Notting Hill Carnival?

Rudolph Walker continues to play a blinder and is very convincing as a stroke victim in the throes of recovery. The thought of Ian sitting in a pub with an elderly disabled man whom he's manipulated into keeping schtum about Ian's kerb-crawling, whilst Ian's other confidante is planning to come clean about the situation was ironic. But, please, less of this "mah-fairmlie-'is-fairmly" rubbish.

The other high point was the scene with Steve McFadden and Letitia Dean. Written correctly, these two still light up the screen with chemistry. There was a familiarity and comfort, even in the bickering, of an older established couple. Whatever happens with Sharon and Phil, I hope what she plans to do to him makes him think again of who she is and how much he should appreciate her. Sharon saw him with Rainie and wouldn't let go until she got the truth from him. She quickly smelled a lie and got told the truth. Now Phil's lied to her, and she knows that Ian's lied as well. But Sharon is right - Rainie is not Phil's problem. She's Ian's, as far as the blackmail is concerned; but Phil takes the mountain to Mohammed and hands the problem that is Rainie back to Cora.

Is it me or is Dot becoming increasingly annoying almost to the point of being smug? I thought she was incredibly rude to Cora. Whatever Cora's reasons are for avoiding Patrick - and they have to do with her own husband's illness and with her having sussed the truth about Rainie- it's not up to Dot to pass judgement on Cora's decision not to attend Ian's party for Patrick. Dot's riding high off her own good opinion of herself, based on the fact that she has a grandson living with her who isn't what or who he says he is. Usually when Dot's acting smug and unbearable, she's headed for a humongous fall, and that most definitely will concern Charlie. It seems she's trying to hint to Fatboy that he has to leave, as all of a sudden, she's quoting the Council rules on tenants chapter and verse. She did this once before, remember, when Max and Bradley were living with her and Nick showed up with Dotty/Kirsty? She kicked them out to accommodate Nick and his daughter. Now that SuperCharlie Psychopath has moved in to work miracles, Fatboy is surplus to requirements.

Finally, if this is the best leaving line they can come up with for Patsy Palmer, then I truly hope Bianca doesn't return. Terry's a nice enough bloke, but why this clandestine love affair? His wife has gone, and she's single. They're adults and have no one to whom they can answer. I don't understand the public hostility unless this is some sort of role play sex game, the likes of which they touched on with Ricky and Bianca back in Santer's time. This is a rushed together piece in which we know Terry will leave and Bianca will go with him. It would have been nice to have seen Sid Owen return for a few episodes and the family swan off to a happy ending in Australia. We know that if Bianca comes back in a few years time, odds are that Terry won't be with her. This is an awful departure line, and Donna is plain vile.


The Best of Times and the Worst of Times - 26.08.2014



Charles Dickens, it ain't, but against the backdrop of Lucy's death, here's what made the episode work:-

1. DI Keeble. She is, to Ian, what Marsden is to Phil, and I hope we haven't seen the last of Marsden either. Keeble mentiioned a few weeks ago that she had a new boss. I'm wondering if we'll see Marsden as the net closes in on the killer (especially if the killer is a Mitchell). I like her icy, professional facade. She called Ian and Peter into the station for a purpose - to gauge their reactions to news about the appeal and for the specific news that they were interested in the beanie-hatted man on the bus (whom we have now identified as Jay). The police may well want to speak to this person, if for no reason other than to eliminate him as a suspect, but then, if DI Keeble is super-cool, Emma Summerhayes is just about the dumbest, most inept and unprofessional copper on the beat.

She's already slept with Max Branning, no less than a suspect in the case, and - thereby - has tainted the investigation; and tonight, she was actually telling the Beales more than the police would like anyone to know and what she was telling them was pure stupidity. The police think they've got their man? How? Jay - or whoever it could have been - got off the bus with Lucy and went in the same direction as she did on the Common. If Summerhayes were using her other braincell - the one rendered useless by the very thought of Max's sexual prowess - she'd have realised that Lucy was on her way to the common in order to meet Jake Stone (another man who's been eliminated from the enquiry) at a nearby café. Did Beanie Man follow her there? Has another witness come forward who said this? We know that Lucy and Jake took a cab back to the Square. Was Beanie Man hanging about?

This is what we know about Jay - that he was the guy with the beanie and that he appeared in the Minute Mart the next morning, buying bleach and cleaning supplies because Ronnie wanted the house scrubbed down after the party. We can surmise that he was on the bus because he was off to meet Ben, but we still don't know that, so why was Summerhayes literally pissing herself hinting at something that Keeble was quick to smack down?

Keeble is as good as Summerhayes is dippy.

2. Cora and Rainie (and Stan, of course). Easily surmised that Ann Mitchell, Tanya Franks and Timothy West stand head and shoulders above the rest of the actors on the show. Forget your Tanyas, the relationship between Cora and Rainie is electric. If DTC has done nothing right, he has, at least, brought a sympathetic Cora to the fore and made her likeable. I felt very strongly for her tonight. You felt the palpable tension in the room when Cora confronted Rainie desperately searching for money, when she found the photo of Ava and Dexter (puke) and Cora steeled herself to tell her about Ava, after Rainie assumed the worst about Dexter and Cora.

On the other hand, you couldn't help but feel for Rainie, when she asked why Tanya knew about Ava and she didn't. That was, at least, good continuity on the part of the writer, because Rainie was having counselling then, was clean and had sent her sponsor to say she was afraid of meeting Cora, of coming to Tanya's abortive wedding, because Tanya and Cora fed her addiction. You could literally cut the air of desperation for both Cora and Rainie, when Rainie ran out on her, and Cora was left, sitting helpless.

Opening up to Stan should have helped. Stan was an alcoholic and has a daughter who is also a functioning alcoholic. For all Stan talked about the worry children give parents, he still was quick to condemn Cora's daughter, to her face, as scum for "bringing my Mick to court." Cora's cutting line was the best:-

I think your Mick managed that all by himself.


 I didn't begrudge Cora her desperate drink after that, sneaked into the Beale household, only to be met with scant hospitality from Denise. I imagine Patrick welcomed the tipple as well, because I also imagine it's quite nerve-wracking for a formerly active man like Patrick to be fussed over excessively by Denise. After his incident with the social worker, I suppose Patrick needed that swig as well.

Beautiful and poignant performance from Ann Mitchell, and beautifully desperate performance by Tanya Franks, who captures an addict's desperation perfectly.

For some reason, in the scene in the pub between Rainie and the Carters, I was totally Team Rainie. Most viewers would recognise that an addict would do anything for a fix of some sort. Rainie couldn't get the money she needed for a hit, so she was opting for a drink and carried through with the fiction of Mick being a punter. Stan knows who she is, but Saint Mick just wants shot of her to save face. Now, all of a sudden, his secret (which is actually a lie) is out and in front of his daughter, producing an absolute hoot of a line from Nancy and an apt observation.

Linda: It's not true. He lied. To protect a mate.
Nancy: What mate?


And that's essentially true. The Carters haven't been in the Square long enough to have established any real friendships - at least, the two core kidults (Mick and Linda) haven't.

3. Absolutely Patrick. Rudolph Walker continues to play a blinder. He has the essence and mannerisms of a stroke victim down to a tee. The participants in this storyline and the writers have done their homework and research, which is amazing, because - as we've seen and still see -research isn't this writing room's strong point.

And here's what didn't do it for me:- 

4. Beale the Father and Beale the Son get shirty about Beale the Holy Ghost. Someone recently posited that Peter might just be the killer, so anxious was he about clues and leads, mostly to see if they point at him or if someone else might be in the frame. Remember, we still don't know where Peter was, nor has that question been explored.

Ian is a complete coward and a weasel, and an arrogant one at that, and such entitled presumption! When Mick informed him that he couldn't continue lying for Ian, Ian's instant response was ... Why not?

What a prick! Mick is a man whom he's known five minutes and on whose sympathy he preyed to cover his own sordid secret. Suddenly, for Ian, this has all become more about saving his own face than about finding the killer of his daughter. In fact, the "saint Lucy at the heart of his family" speech he gave yesterday was more about reminding Patrick of the awful trauma which had befallen Ian in comparison to the dirty little story Patrick had found out about Ian.

As for Peter, he's just an arrogant deadbeat and a snob. I hate the way both he and Dean treat Lola, looking down their noses at her as if she isn't good enough. Dean promises her a trial at the salon and ends up treating her like a skivvy. Peter can't even be bothered to remember she got a trial, Here's another day Peter isn't on the stall, yet Lola is trying to find a job to support herself and Lexi, yet Peter's dreaming of travelling the world with Lauren on a ticket provided by Ian.

Watching Lauren reminds me of the last years of Brookside, when it ceased to do quality issue storylines and devolved into a welter of tits and arse. Hire an actress for her looks, put her in a low-cut top and have her bend over. In this episode, Lauren - whose funny voiced delivery increasingly sounds as if she's on helium - managed to hide her acting inability behind an expanse of leg and a deep cleavage. Because she made a spoiled brat remark about the police that mirrored the same remark made by Peter, he thinks they've bonded. Lauren thinks he loves her because she's a link for him to Lucy, when he really thinks he loves her because she hides her trailer trash roots better than Lola by scrubbing up well. At the end of the day, she's as much a deadbeat and a moocher as Ian. I hope they both take a long trip around the world and get lost.

And I hope Lola smacks the shit out of Dean, who's even more of a nobody than Lauren or Peter. She has more honesty and class in one strand of her peroxided hair than that trio put together.

5. Twit Mamas. How much of this episode was about two unlikeable lesbians trying for a baby. Tosh is worried she won't be a good mum, Tina cheerfully admits that she was never a good mum. She wasn't ready to be one. Is she now? She still lies and steals, has an innate dishonesty and is breaking the law. At the drop of a hat, she'd cheat on Tosh. And is yetanother baby on the way?

6. The Carters are wearing thin. Very thin at the moment. Mick can't sleep because of a situation he willingly got himself into. Someone else wondered if there were a place today in 21st Century London where a landlord and his family would be so shunned at the revelation that he'd got caught kerb-crawling. I don't think the customers would bat an eyelid. Could it be that the good folk of Walford just aren't that much into the Carters as yet? Apart from Shirley, who's mostly deeply unpleasant, the rest of the family are strangers in a strange land.There have been times when the pub has been near empty, and they've worried about custom. Their tenure so far has existed from lurching from one special event to another - pool tournaments, karaoke nights, Cockney carnivals - usually to cheer Linda up. Other times inbetween the place is quiet. Regulars like Dot haven't warmed to their attempts to show friendly, they've angered the Jackson-Butchers, and we don't see Max in the pub as much these days.

The fact that Linda's constantly worrying when the place is less than heaving juxtaposed with both them showing excessive bonhomie during these special nights makes me wonder if the local yokels think they're trying too hard, and I wonder if the EP isn't trying to hard to foist them upon us. Don't get me wrong. I like them, most of them, but lately, I find myself going off Mick, being indifferent to Linda and wondering if Lee isn't the next Tyler?

Better episode than the night before, thanks to Mitchell, West, Franks and Walker. 


Screaming Does Not Mean You Are a Good Actress - 28.08.2014


It simply means you can scream.

The best things about this episode were Diane Parish, Kellie Bright and the divine Maddie Hill - oh, and the brief appearance by Tanya Franks.

Ian and Mick are just short of despicable. That's right. Saint Mick, and Ian even moreso.

At the end of the episode, at first I wished that they'd spent more time on Denise and Linda, who found the tables turned on their own positions, with regard to the kerb-crawling episode. Until now, Denise had never fathomed that such a thing could even involve her. She actually trusted Ian, but what I do love about Denise is her unflailing honesty about what happens to her. She was the first to admit that she had judged Linda in the wake of Mick being accused of and admitting to kerb-crawling, and she admitted it directly to Linda's face, which is what Denise always does. In return, Linda is conflicted - uneasy because Denise is adamant in wanting to speak to Mick, wanting to hear from himself directly why he lied for Ian; naturally (because she's Linda) feeling morally superior and justified in proving the public perception of her wrong; wanting to condescend to Denise, but after hearing how raw Denise's hurt was, being reminded of how raw her own disappointment in Mick was, so recently.

I loved Denise's apt assessment of Ian as a toerag, and wanting to know if Mick were on Ian's slug level, and how she inadvertantly unleashed what remained of Linda's insecurity and her incipient mistrust of Mick. Denise's moral standards are high, and rightly so. When she announces to Linda that she planned on waiting for Ian to leave before nipping into the house, packing a bag, grabbing Patrick and leaving. Denise has been royally let down by Ian, and she tells Linda that she can't live with a man she couldn't trust. And with her last line to Linda, she waters the seed of doubt about Mick planted in Linda's heart and mind.

Linda: Even if he's only let you down once? (Obviously, referring to her own circumstance with Mick).
Denise: Once? This is only the first time. This is only the beginning.

When Mick returned to the pub, smug and confident at having restored his place as the paterfamilias of a solid family unit, Linda couldn't stand being in the same room with him, much less being able to look at him.

Brilliant, brilliant and understated performances by both women, especially Denise's final scene where she forgave Ian. The empty look on her face tells me that there's an unspoken "but" hanging in the air, which will be addressed tomorrow night. And for the record, her trapping of Ian into confirming Rainie's story, without even referring to it, was a blooming masterpiece.

Interesting that Nancy's and Mick's scenes were juxtaposed with Ian's and Cindy's.

I'll say it straight. I don't like Cindy. I don't feel her pregnancy was necessary, and I find her an unsympathetic and unlikeable character. I know we've had scenes of grubby knee-tremblers in alleyways with Kat and, years ago, Laura Beale. We've had Phil and Mel and later Grant and Jane over the kitchen table, and Jack with his ex-wife over his desk in the R and R; but there was nothing quite so common as the scene where Liam was buckling up his trousers and Cindy was hoisting up her skirt flat on the floor of the Beale lounge (herself, pregnant at the time) in post-coital situation. Months later, Ian and Jane had sex in the same place, and today, Cindy gave birth there - all the while with Patrick lying upstairs. I hope Denise leaves Ian to clean the front room thoroughly.

Cindy's innate immaturity was abounding tonight, obvious evidence that she is neither ready to be a parent nor was she prepared to have a child. She takes a five-hour train journey after her waters have broken, and she objected to her guardian wanting to adopt her child. Pardon me, but isn't Gina Cindy's legal guardian? And where does Ian get off saying that Bev and Gina Williams weren't exactly his favourite people? He never had any beef with Bev, who was a very sensible woman, and IIRC, he wasn't above snogging Gina a few times.

All the actress who played Cindy did was scream, moan and whine about nobody liking her, everyone hating her yadda yadda, and throughout the birth scene we had the camera pan slowly across pictures of Beales and Fowlers past until coming to rest and lingering on a professional shot of Michelle Collins as Cindy, signifying the birth of the latest woman to be born with the Cindy gene. At the end of the ordeal, we even had Cindy sorta kinda given honorary Beale status by Ian telling her she reminded him of Lou Beale.

W. T. F?!

Lou Beale could be unpleasant and blunt, but she was selfless and possessed uncommon good sense. Cindy is thoughtless, selfish, entitled and self-centred, and a manipulative little wotsit, knowing exactly how to get to Ian by mentioning Cindy and remarking that she feels close to her mother in Ian's house. OK, she has a half-brother there, but no one knew her mother like her grandmother and her aunt. She is nothing to Ian, no relation, no kin, so Ian remarking that she could stay would entail him obtaining legal guardianship of both Cindy and her baby, and I'll bet we can guess what she'll name the child - at least until November re Cindy, which is when she turns sixteen ...

... and that brings about something decidedly creepy about Ian and Cindy, in juxtaposition to the scenes with Mick and Nancy.

I have to ask this, and I'm not afraid of the blowback, but consider the fact that Ian has a propensity to have sex with women or to want to have sex with women whom he knew when they were little girls (and he was an adult - Janine, Clare Bates), we know he still harbours feelings for the late Cindy and we know he's going to be a blubbing, jellyfied mess when Denise dumps him (which I think she will), so ... how long after November will it be before Ian starts bonking Cindy?

Cindy is a kid, but Ian has always spoken to her and treated her like an adult, and she speaks to him as an equal and not in any way like a very young person would speak to another adult. And Cindy has the Cindy gene.

It's repulsive and probably offensive, but consider that Ian is a pervy and very repulsive little man at the worst of times. It's not beyond ken.


The other creepy element of the episode was the preponderence of pictures of Cindy in the Beale front room. Someone else pointed out that there was also a picture of Jane. I'm not saying that pictures of these women have no place in the Beale household, just not in the front room. They belong in the bedrooms of their children, not in the family room where the current Mrs Beale abides. Besides, if Jane's picture is prominent, what about Laura, who was Bobby's birth mother? And we need to be reminded of the fact that Cindy and Ian were horribly estranged at the time of her death. She was actually in prison for attempting to have Ian killed,

On the other hand, the scenes between Mick and Nancy were electric. This is what I've been waiting for from Maddie Hill, and this was the defining moment of Nancy's character. I punched the air when Mick told Nancy that he loved her, and Nancy shot right back with the line about love being different from respect.

She is so right, and she pinpointed exactly the rotten core of Mick's personality. Line of the night goes to Nancy:-

Do you really hate women that much?

Mick can plan all the parties and pantomimes in an effort to cheer up Linda, he can manipulate her into doing what he wants and think that she'll be happy with a kiss, a cuddle and a bonk, but he doesn't respect her, and all the animosity he felt toward women in general was summed up in his remark about Rainie being scum. No man who respects a woman would fail to see and have compassion for a woman as fragile and broken as Rainie. Nancy felt for her, even Linda did. But Mick is his mother's son, and Shirley's reaction to Rainie would have been identical to Mick's and to Stan's. He feels a moral superiority of which he's not worthy. Maybe this was an epiphany for Nancy as well, who's stood by in the past, alongside Mick, and allowed Shirley and Tina to lambast her mother to her face, with Mick saying nothing.

The lesson about respect being a two-way street meted Mick by Nancy was beautiful. She really is the adult in that family. She's twenty-one, and Mick treats her like a kid. Mick's answer?

You are a kid. You're my kid. You'll always be a kid.

No, Mick, she won't. She'll always be your child, but she isn't a kid and she shoudn't be treated as such. I'm glad she pointed out to him that his lies, however much they were meant to protect her and her brothers, shouldn't have been lies at all; and I'm delighted that she called him out for patronising her, because when you treat an adult like a kid or a small child,which is the way Mick treats his children, that's enormously patronising and disrespectful. It's also a means of passive-aggressive bullying, which we've seen enough of him doing to Linda. It's control. And Nancy called it.

At the end of that, the scene of them sitting in the swings of the children's playground, holding hands between the swings, illustrated magnificently that Mick the manchild was yet another weak EastEnders' man. Notice that it was Mick who reached for Nancy's hand first.

And notice that the only reason Rainie came clean to Denise (besides thinking she knew and catching Ian in a lie) was because Mick had deemed her scum.

Good episode, spoiled by the return of yet another unlikeable young female character. 



By Jove, I Think He's Got It - 29.08.2014


Without a doubt, this was the best episode in a long time, all about home truths coming out, and yet a few lies still hidden. The Beales have not come out of Lucy's murder looking at all well - neither father nor son, both of whom are more deserving of solid smacks, if nothing else. Heroine of the piece - easily Denise. Most sympathetic? Easily Lola, who managed to make prize POS Peter look like a small, slimey turd. And, once again, Ann Mitchell and Tanya Franks delivered.

The only downside of the episode was the return of Shirley. I don't care what DTC wants us to think. We all know she's his personal favourite and that he's hell-bent on foisting her upon the viewers as the go-to character, the new matriarch of the new-style Albert Square, and that her reconstructed family are a smokescreen for her eventually fronting the Vic. Beforeanyone, starts pushing back on that, that is my opinion. It may be wrong, but it also may be right. Shirley doesn't work. He can concoct as many shaggy dog stories as he wants about her tragic, sorrow-ridden backstory, which we never had occasion to hear before 2014, but it still doesn't belie the fact that she's the rotten core of the Carter family - the bitter, entitled, self-victimised, walking pity party who uses all of the above defence mechanisms as an excuse to be rude and behave badly toward others. It doesn't work for me, but what's interesting is seeing how her innate rottenness is now boiling to the surface with Mick's true colours showing.

After everything that's happened, I hope Sharon bests Phil; but since DTC is totally besotted with anything Mitchell and with Shirley, I don't see Sharon's triumph on the horizon. Pfffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttt!

The Fox Dumps the Weasel. Good. Even though it won't make a blind bit of difference, Denise needed to hand Ian his arse. Denise is one of the two most honest characters in the programme (more on the second one later, but you can guess who the second one is). She truly is a good person, and her confrontation with Ian only proved what a thoroughly despicable, scurvy, slimey scumbag Ian really is. As I've said before, the Beales - these Beales - are not nice people. Lucy wasn't, Ian never has been, and Peter certainly isn't.

Denise met the situation head-on and stated the bleeding obvious - that she and Ian, two lonely people, who happened to chance together, merely settled for each other. Of course, Ian was totally unaware of and unprepared for the home truths Denise served up to him. He is such a totally self-obsessed and selfish person, concerned only about himself and, to a great extent, any one of his relatives (and non-relatives) who carry the fated "Cindy gene." He was totally unaware of Denise's unhappiness, as he wailed about how unhappy he was -being the reason behind his cheating.

But this is Ian. This has always been Ian. Whenever he's been unhappy in a relationship, he seeks sexual solace elsewhere - unhappy with Laura, so he sleeps with Janine, whom he first knew when she was five years old and he was a married man. Unhappy with Jane and he sleeps, first, with Janine again and then with Glenda Mitchell. He was unhappy with the situation at home on the night of Lucy's death, so he kerb-crawled - another activity in which he's participated for over twenty years. Of course, he was oblivous to Denise's discomfort and unhappiness, because Denise didn't matter. She was "the help". When it came to a "family" portrait for Beale's, he opted for his ex-wife, whom he'd trash-talked not only to Glenda Mitchell (comparing Glenda to the Premiership and Jane to Division One), he'd also trash-talked her to a prospective client, and a snotty brat of no relation to him other than being the issue of his ex-wife's lover at the time of her death. He'd rather have included those people than his Afro-Caribbean partner.

He was taking Denise for granted, even at the point when he and Jane porked it out on the living room floor, and in the afterglow of that moment, Ian immediately began plotting how he could get Denise to leave. But Denise still doesn't know about that infidelity, does she? And the penny didn't drop far for her to figure out Ian's manipulation of Patrick in his sordid little secret.

Her quiet and determined strength and her solid character is one of the reasons why Denise is one of my favourite characters on the programme. In the midst of this whole brouhaha, Ian tried to turn the tables on Denise, reminding her of her behaviour at the engagement party. As far as Denise has gone in straying in this relationship has been that furtive kiss with Fatboy, and I'm glad she threw his identity to Ian tonight - as Arthur and not Fatboy, another adult who wanted her as a woman.This was nothing compared to what Ian did to Denise, and he still hasn't told her about his tryst with Jane. Accusing Denise of taking the morale high ground and implying she wasn't entitled to that, when his little venture with Jane has yet to be exposed, but it was lower than low, when he brought up Kevin, Owen and Lucas as if their foibles were Denise's fault.

I wish there were someone to inform Denise of the time Ian Beale lied about his young daughter having cancer, just to keep Melanie in his bed.

The other big revelation Denise got was the fact that Linda Carter had been lying all along about not knowing about Ian and the prostitute. Everyone around her was keeping that secret - the Carters, Phil and Sharon. Phil and Sharon surprised me. After Phil told Ian he had to front his shame out, they then go, ring Michelle (I was right, she does live in Northern Florida - Pensacola, which means Ian's probably flying to Atlanta and getting an internal flight), and organise an escape route for that night. Ian is a coward, and Sharon and Phil aren't protecting him, they're enabling his cowardice. Still, Peter the Prick was in no position to shoot him that judgemental glance at the end of that scene either, not with the shenanigans in which he's been involved, the snobbish, ungrateful, little cur.

I was totally Team Denise, and I was literally in tears (one of three times tonight) when she returned, after blessing out the Carters, to Patrick's shattered flat, to cry amid the debris. So much symbolism - Patrick, finding the picture of himself and his two sons, cracked and crushed in the break-in, one son dead and the other disowning him, and all the rest of the shattered and mangled house a symbol of Denise's life with Ian. Very strong and very poignant.

The other thing which stuck out like a sore thumb during the Denise-Ian kerfuffle, was the dominant presence of yet another picture of Cindy Beale, looming in the background. Pictures of Cindy have a place in the Beale household, in the bedrooms of Cindy's three (now two) children. She was estranged from Ian at the time of her death, and she'd tried to kill him and take his children, after having had an affair with Ian's brother. Until this year, we'd never seen prominent pictures of Cindy in the Beale front room, and such prominence probably didn't do much to enhance Denise's sense of belonging there either. We never saw overt pictures of Cindy when Ian was with Mel, Cindy and certainly not Jane, so why are they being so emphasised now?

Team Denise and the Carter Non-Team. Mick Carter is unraveling, and now we get to see what's beneath that Mr NiceGuy/Good Dad exterior. He's a weak and petty man with a strong strain of misogyny, rank in his male privilege. Let's say rank in his white male privilege.

For Mick, this is all a done thing. It's all out in the open, everyone knows the truth about the real kerb crawler, so can everything just go back to normal, please? He hasn't given a thought to either Ian or Denise, but Linda has, and that's the problem. What's really bothering Mick is that Linda won't play ball - and that means she won't be apt to playing with his balls, so he's unable to convince her that everything's all right. Because "L" is so shallow, all it takes is a kiss and a cuddle, to bring her around to what he wants. Or so he thinks.

Linda's got a conscience, and she's worried about the fact that she had to tell Denise a bare-faced lie about the fact that she'd only just found out about Ian. Lies beget more lies. Mick lied for Ian, and now Denise is lying for Mick -except she knows that Ian will probably out the truth to Denise, and the Linda will smell like old cheese. Mick has let her down, and she isn't forgetting that either. It worries her.

You're my girl, you know that? I'm nuffink wivout you.

Do you really think she believes that now, Mick? And into the fray comes DTC's designated heroine, Shirley. The downside and underbelly of the carter amorality.

What annoyed me about this storyline, apart from Shirley, was Sharon's pithy non-advice to her friend, Linda. When Linda asked rhetorically why Mick did what he did, all Sharon could offer was that Mick lied for Ian, as in Mick euphemistically died for Ian's sins, as if it's perfectly normal for Mick and anyone to want to lie to protect Ian.

And that's where, not only Denise, but also Stan and Cora come in. Mick, like his seedier relatives, is quick to cast blame for his current predicament. Ne'mind, he agreed to cop the blame for Ian's crime, this is all Cora's fault for making a public issue of the mess. So Mick's instant solution is to bar Cora, until Stan informs him that the prostitute Ian saw was Cora's daughter.

I know we've been inundated with Carters of late. They've taken over storylines, infiltrated them. Better actors, they are just as annoying as the Brannings. But tonight, their happy clappy, morally superior shell was cracked - first by Cora, who took the right stance to front it out and apologise publically to Mick for wrongly accusing him. That took guts, courage and character, yet Mick responded sullenly, pettily and like a spoiled child who refused to own up to his own shortcomings. He didn't even look at Cora, nor did he attempt to stop Shirley's vile tongue from flapping and spewing all sorts of shit at the old lady. As if Shirley, a mother who abandoned her children, who tried to kill one child, is morally fit to judge Cora's shortcomings. Linda was giving short shrift too, all three united in being as mean as possible to make Cora suffer for her presumption when - if anyone cared to remember - Mick pleaded guilty to the charge.

He didn't have to do that, but he did, and he wasn't to know Cora's circumstances with Rainie would lead to her accusation. Cora's behaviour, in that situation, was determined by Mick. She apologised, and he looked as though he would rather chew a wasp than accept it. It took Stan to intervene, because Stan knows his children are far from perfect.

The "determinator" of the Carters' woe and what caused Mick's phoney facade and their sham of a pretend marriage to be exposed, was the fury that is Denise, telling them more than just a few home truths, which many viewers have perceived for some months. First, the exposure of Linda's lie and the fact that the Carters had known about Ian's activities for sometime, at her expense. Denise took the moral knife, shoved it into Linda's psyche and twisted it onto Mick. She could live with Mick's lie, but Linda was supposed to be her friend. The final question she articulated was one with which Linda has been wrestling for sometime and which Nancy discovered, to Mick's detriment yesterday.

Mick hardly knew Ian, yet he chose to lie for him and put his family second, to Ian's pathetic needs. Is it a man thing? Or does Mick just not respect women in general - other than Shirley?

Ian's dumped, and Mick's dumped. After more than twenty years, the pennys beginning to drop for Linda. And Dean's face, at Denise's "happy family facade" remark was an absolute picture.

Peter Prick-Pratt. Let's give him a double-barrelled name, because he so aspires to middle-class pretensions. Lola is the other painfully honest character to whom I referred earlier, and she's treated like dogshit in this instance. Dean disdains her, and who is he? Another weak creep with mommy issues, who's obsessed with his uncle/brother's wife. He's using a besotted young girl, whom TPTB have recreated as a self-perpetuating virgin, to assauge his sexual needs. His reluctant offer to Lola of an apprenticeship came with the caveat that she will only do the scut jobs in his state-of-the-art salon. Peter, however, is ready to shit on her from a great height. After one stolen kiss with an attempted murderer and recovering alcoholic, the niece of an addict and a prostitute, he's in love, but not with Lola. 

The way he treated her was callous,cowardly and cruel. What was worse was he attempted to justify his actions by saying that he "loved" Lauren, that she understood him, when what he really meant was what Lola articulated - that he never thought she was good enough for him, that Lola knew that the moment he tried to get her to go to college instead of encouraging her in a career which she enjoyed. She should have added that he pursued her and he instigated the relationship, and still he has the gall to want to see Lexi. She may be his cousin, but Lexi is Lola's daughter. Who would want their child to be associated with a snobby, little toerag, who fancies himself?

As for TPTB's latest attempt to pair Jacqueline Jossa with another actor with whom she, again, has no chemistry, stop it. I can't invest in Lauren. She's so entitled and unlikeable, I'm almost glad she's riding blindly for a fall with Dean. Peter's pledge to wait for as long as possible for her was neither poignant nor admirable. It was wooden and pathetic. Lauren isn't fit to wipe Lola's stiletto heels. At least Lola is aspiring to something, and not mooching about like Lauren and Deadbeat Beale.

Oh, and Peter, wipe that condescending look of disdain at your father's behaviour.The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and before you get a leg over Lauren, insist that she goes to the local STD clinic.

Cora and Rainie. The best scenes of the night with the show's two best actresses. Good continuity, in remembering that Rainie was, indeed, the more intelligent of the two Cross sisters. She was Abi to Tanya's Lauren, and it was Tanya, who introduced the introverted and shy Rainie to sex, drugs and rock'n roll. (They grew up with the drink).

Rainie so desperately wants to get out of her addiction, she was - honestly - willing to work in the launderette, and even to take religious counselling with Dot, at Cora's suggestion. At least, Cora recognised that Rainie gained something from that, and they way Rainie's face lit up, she wanted that too. 

But Rainie is an addict, and Cora's first mistake was leaving her purse in the flat with Rainie, who was in desperate need of a fix.

Mitchell and Franks showed the rest of the cast, especially those hired for decoration, what honest and raw acting was liked. Beautiful scenes, filled with despair and pathos. I wanted to cry when Cora returned to find Rainie, and the contents of her purse, gone.

Best episode in a long while. Glad the main Carter misogynist is being exposed for the petty, little man that he is. He is his mother's son. 

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