Trump invented a new word in a midnight tweet: COVFEFE. Doesn't mean anything, it's just garbled rubbish, not even a word salad, but more a letter salad. A jumble of nothing that quickly went viral and became a laughing stock.
A lot like EastEnders at the moment. Tonight's episode was filled with references to illness, mostly people getting the shits, which about sums up what most of the viewing public feels when they watch the latest episode of paint drying against a backdrop of stupidity; endless, spoiled adolescence; endless adolescent angst; ubiquitous cheating; inexplicably unfunny scenes; and poor attempts at sitcomery.
Next Thursday, James Comey testifies before the Senate Intelligence Committee about Trump's connections to Russia. That's a real live soap opera, and more entertaining than the shitfest of COVFEFE in which Sean O'Connor has mired this programme.
Covfefe: Sean O'Connor Attempts Jean-Paul Satre and Fails. Ian's got the shits. The viewers got to hear all about his overfamiliarity with the toilet bowl. All that was missing was the number of times he'd shat, the consistency of the faeces and the pungence of its smell. His self-absorption certainly rivals that of other characters in this programme. In fact, self-absorption seems to be the identifying factor in this saga, allegedly based on "community."
But maybe that's the lesson to be learned - that we're all so self-obsessed with our own lives and space that we can't see or won't see what's going on with someone who actually lives beneath the same roof.
It's never registered with Ian that the flowers Steven has bought, along with all the accoutrements for a three-course meal that this effort just might not be for him.
I feel sorry for Steven. He's the outsider in the pack, and he knows it - the Beale, who isn't really a Beale, the gay, who isn't really gay, the son, who isn't really the son ... the boyfriend, who isn't really the boyfriend. He desperately wants to belong to the Beale dynamic. He was raised as a Beale and considers himself as one; but there's no denying that he genuinely has a history of mental illness, and this, along with his burgeoning insecurity, is bubbling just below the surface.
I can't help feeling, however, that all this situation with Steven and Lauren is totally lacking in background, with monumental gaps that need to be plugged - chief of which is the truth about what exactly is happening with Peter in New Zealand? I want to say that I can't imagine Lauren cheating on him, but knowing that her knickers are itching to be fingered by creepy Josh, I would say that she has form.That said, I never took Peter Beale to be the type to walk away from the responsibility of a child.
I guess we'll never know what's happening with Peter until the writers and the producer decide what's going on with him. We don't know for the moment because they don't know; and they don't know because there's obviously some sort of mileage in the Steven-Lauren spectacle, and also, they really haven't got around to casting Peter yet.
Steven wants to establish a family unit of his own. He loves Louis like his own son, much the same way Ian loves him; but it's clear that Lauren doesn't consider him even father-like for Louis and uses him as an unpaid and convenient babysitter most of the time. He also doesn't trust Lauren, which isn't really the basis for the beginning of a relationship.
And really, Lauren isn't worth his concern. At worst, she's indifferent to him; at best, she's reluctantly, and guiltily, affectionate. She's all about forging ahead with whatever her career is supposed to be, although she's too stupid to realise she's being groomed to be the ultimate company whore. It looks, however, as if his pierced condom strategy has worked.
Lauren is pregnant, and it's Steven's baby.
This means that there are two pregnancies now on the Square - and that inevitably means that one of those pregnancies will end before its time. I'm hoping this is the case with Lauren.
Another tradition of this show is the Beales hosting a dinner party from hell, and Steven lived up to that reputation tonight. It's obvious that Lauren was expecting him to be at the restaurant, otherwise Josh wouldn't have gone to the effort of parking the car and following her to the house. He'd have just dropped her at home. Instead, they were confronted with Steven, clad in a towel and cooking a gourmet meal. He insists that Josh stay for dinner, seats him next to Lauren and dominates the proceedings by regaling him with anecdotes which emphasize how committed he and Lauren are to each other.
The interesting thing about this segment was how much we learned about Josh by what he didn't tell about himself. Steven asked about his personal background - if he had a significant other or if he were playing the field.In the moment's hesitation in Josh's reply, Steven pronounced him "a player." I saw it differently. The hesitation, to me, indicated that he was in a bit of bother, and didn't really know how to respond - meaning, there is a significant other, and to deny this would be a lie. He's probably got a wife and maybe a kid; Lauren is a plaything, a bit of buff on the side.
But the weirdest, most existentialist part of this piece was Abi. Prior to her arriving, unannounced and uninvited to the unplanned dinner party, we saw various scenes of her sitting in the cafe,dressed in a pink bustière with a push-up bra. Considering the fact that Abi might be approaching 21, she still looks, acts and sounds like a 12 year-old, so I'm imagining that scene, plus the close-up of her pen leaking ink on her right tit was a paedophile's dream. The scene proceeded to get weirder as Abi pressed the pen against the side of her face in thought, blissfully unaware that the pen was leaking ink all over her face.
It was more than sad to see her sitting in the cafe, with a notebook opened in front of her and a blank page headed "My 21st Birthday". Your 21st is special, and the celebrations should be planned for you by the people you love - your family. Yet Max is too absorbed in his revenge plan, even to mention such a significant event in his daughter's life; Lauren is too far up her own arse, and Tanya's probably too far down a bottle and a wealthy man's wallet to care.
Abi lives with people who don't like her and who only tolerate her presence because her additional rent makes things easier for them, and because she cooks and cleans for them. She labels her belongings, and that's understandable. Abi grew up in a dysfunctional family where her parents put their own needs first, where fidelity wasn't even considered and where you never knew what was yours to have. As a result, she's a control freak - a place for everything and everything in its place, housework rotas, colour-coding, an organiser.
She's also more than just jealous of her sister; she viscerally hates her. For Abi, everything has come easy to Lauren, who hasn't appreciated anything. When Abi was still a small child, Lauren found out about Max's affair with Stacey and blew the family's Christmas to shreds. I'll bet there isn't a Christmas that goes by when Abi doesn't think of that.
I don't know what the significance of the ink on her face was, or the spiel she gave Josh about the designer coffee she had when he offered to walk her home, but her entire behaviour jarred Lauren, and Josh's subtle act of concern over Lauren's health also jarred Abi.
Don't worry about her ... Abi muttered.
This isn't a Who's the Daddy. This is a tale about abortion and about Steven losing his iron-willed control when he finds out what happened, and he will. I'm guessing Abi finds out that Lauren has a termination, and the shit will hit the fan.
Covfefe: Worshipping at the Altar of the Patron Saint of Po-Faced. Denise wasn't in this episode, but her presence pervaded it - a penitent Kim, literally crawling to Denise's doorstep to leave a bouquet of contrition, before later sitting in the confessional booth at the café and unburdoning her guilt to Mother Superior Carmel.
Please, stop tutting and whining about Denise's "starvation". Denise brought on her own suffering. Seriously, who walks out on a job in a fit of pique and doesn't shit themselves before they start pounding the pavement to find alternative work?
Denise didn't. In fact, it appeared as if her minimum wage zero hours' job allowed her enough of a bank balance to drink in the pub, eat in the café and shop at the Minute Mart, as well as fuck Kush for fun, without ever considering that mere mortal work was necessary for sustenance. When she realised that she really was, literally, out of money, then she allowed herself to mess her fragrant knickers. She sold the cheap chav tat around her neck for a fiver, but neglected to get rid of the sizeable amounts of gold bling on eight of her fingers, and still had time and some sort of funding to keep her nails expensively manicured.
In fact, it's mete to realise that every ounce of "suffering" Denise endured this year was of her own making. She chose to give her child up for adoption - and as much as she said it was for the child's benefit, a lot of it was for her benefit as well. How many times did we hear her whine about wanting time to herself,only to realise - again, through her own negligence and irresponsibility -that she was pregnant. She gave that child away for her own peace of mind and to avoid having Phil breathe down her neck. For all Sharon's shown her only kindness and compassion, something a lot of people have shown her and something this singularly ungrateful character doesn't deserve, she has never once thought to apologise to Sharon for sleeping with Sharon's husband. Indeed, she never once thought of the fact that Phil Mitchell had a wife, and when the truth was out about her baby, it was Shirley, Phil's ex, to whom she gave an apology.
She chose, also, to leave her job. She lost control of her monumental temper and assaulted a schoolboy, someone else's child. She mouthed off to the magistrates about their decision to punish her, and she bad-mouthed her employer and then expected special treatment because her district manager happened to be an old friend.
And she chose to romp the beds with Kush and bury her nose in literature, expecting money to fall from the tree in her back garden, instead of looking for work. What's worse, everyone around her was made to be too stupid to wonder what the fuck she was living off. Tell a lie - Kim told her, point-blank, that she should have been looking for work agesago, and she threw Kim out of the house.
Also, how stupid is Carmel?
They make it so difficult these days to claim benefits.
Duuuuh ... you dumb bitch, you should know that whenever a person voluntarily walks on a job, they aren't automatically entitled to benefits. They have to wait a matter of months before they are considered entitled, although Denise is one of the most entitled characters on the show. So now the game is on to figure out how to help poor, deserving Saint Denise,without impingeing upon that infamous pride.
God, I hate this character.
Cevfefe:Jack the Trumpian Thug. It's half-term, but Jack won't let the kids out of the house. As Amy, whose incarceration has regressed her mental state to that of a four year-old told Uncle Max, they couldn't go out until Charlie was gone...
When Max questioned where Charlie was going, she and Ricky told him that Jack planned to "bin" Charlie.
Jack is shite. He really is no better than Ronnie, even citing that if Ronnie were alive and Charlie had made another appearance, she'd arrange to have him killed. It's what she would have done and wanted to do in the past. He honestly thinks he can get away with this, reckoning - at least - on Charlie being a coward. Charlie's anything but a coward, and he's fighting for his son.
This was actually the most interesting part of the episode, because the audience knows what Max is all about. Max is behind having Matthew handed over to Charlie, but Max's convincing makes everything sound sensible.
Firstly, Jack will get caught. That's bound to happen, and then all three of the kids would go into care. Secondly, and there's some insight here on why Max is targeting Jack, Max tells him that sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you fight, kick and scream, you just have to accept that the odds are stacked against you - this was always the way with Max in the Branning family dynamic, with Jim favouring Jack.
For all he's a sneak with an agenda (albeit a very watchable sneak, Jake Wood and Linda Henry being the best things about this show at the moment), Max talks some good, hard sense. This isn't about Jack and his grieving for Ronnie. It's about Matthew and the simple truth that Matthew is not Jack's son and that he has a living father who wants him. Jack simply has to go throughH the legal channels, and accept the fact that Charlie is Matthew's father.
OK, so what was this eavesdropping thing with Amy and Ricky? Ricky may not have been around at the time Matthew was born, but Amy certainly was. She knew that Charlie and Ronnie were married and that Matthew was Charlies's son. WTF? And whilst I'm asking questions,who owns Ronnie's house? The house was in her name and Roxy's, but they both are dead, and what is Jack doing living there? Roxy may not have had a will, but Ronnie would have had one, and she would have named a guardian for the kids with instructions to sell the house and put the proceeds in a trust fund for Amy and Matthew.
These questions never get answered on this show.
Covfefe: Bits and Bobs. Martin and Amy on the Tube set which Sean O'Connor just LOOOOVVVEEEES, coming from an appointment with someone whom Martin calls "the mental midwife." (Actually, that's the mental health midwife, but this show always makes Martin out to be a Luddite and a near-idiot, yet another pejorative depiction of a man).
Think about that - Max is a villain, Phil and Jack are bullies and thugs, Mick is a spoiled brat, Steven is obsessive, Ian and Kush are Oedipal, Vincent is emasculated and Martin is just stupid.
By coincidence, they run into Michelle, on her way home from another day slogging at the department store. She shows kindness to a man having a nosebleed on the train. Watch this space. He'll launder and return her hanky. Hanky? What woman carries a handkerchief in this disposable society? Come to think of it, Michelle's divorce papers were addressed to "Mrs Michelle Fowler. WTF was that? Did Tim not have a surname, or did they bond, when they met, by the fact that they shared the same surname?
It looks as though Rebecca and Louise are friends again, on the strength of Travis texting Louise to ask her for a date. Wise Rebecca wonders if the text really were from Travis. O'Connor is pushing this duo so hard as the 21st Century's Sharon and Michelle that it's painful to watch, especially the bit where Louise remarks that she and Rebecca were almost "family." Well, they were, originally. Louise was born and registered "Louise Fowler", and for all intents and purposes, since Mark Fowler was Louise's legal father, she and Rebecca are first cousins ... Who am I kidding? The bullying storyline,which none of us has missed, is about to rear its two ugly heads again.
Finally, the new couple are a study in elderly misery. Grey, non-descript and ordinary beyond belief, with a mingeing, miserable neighbour from the old days, whining about losing "her view" and not paying for her tea and a soggy looking teacake. The brief scene served only as a prelude to the introduction of the ueber chav Taylors, who, I gather, are the alluded neighbours from hell about to descend on Walford.
This show can't possibly get any worse, can it?
A lot like EastEnders at the moment. Tonight's episode was filled with references to illness, mostly people getting the shits, which about sums up what most of the viewing public feels when they watch the latest episode of paint drying against a backdrop of stupidity; endless, spoiled adolescence; endless adolescent angst; ubiquitous cheating; inexplicably unfunny scenes; and poor attempts at sitcomery.
Next Thursday, James Comey testifies before the Senate Intelligence Committee about Trump's connections to Russia. That's a real live soap opera, and more entertaining than the shitfest of COVFEFE in which Sean O'Connor has mired this programme.
Covfefe: Sean O'Connor Attempts Jean-Paul Satre and Fails. Ian's got the shits. The viewers got to hear all about his overfamiliarity with the toilet bowl. All that was missing was the number of times he'd shat, the consistency of the faeces and the pungence of its smell. His self-absorption certainly rivals that of other characters in this programme. In fact, self-absorption seems to be the identifying factor in this saga, allegedly based on "community."
But maybe that's the lesson to be learned - that we're all so self-obsessed with our own lives and space that we can't see or won't see what's going on with someone who actually lives beneath the same roof.
It's never registered with Ian that the flowers Steven has bought, along with all the accoutrements for a three-course meal that this effort just might not be for him.
I feel sorry for Steven. He's the outsider in the pack, and he knows it - the Beale, who isn't really a Beale, the gay, who isn't really gay, the son, who isn't really the son ... the boyfriend, who isn't really the boyfriend. He desperately wants to belong to the Beale dynamic. He was raised as a Beale and considers himself as one; but there's no denying that he genuinely has a history of mental illness, and this, along with his burgeoning insecurity, is bubbling just below the surface.
I can't help feeling, however, that all this situation with Steven and Lauren is totally lacking in background, with monumental gaps that need to be plugged - chief of which is the truth about what exactly is happening with Peter in New Zealand? I want to say that I can't imagine Lauren cheating on him, but knowing that her knickers are itching to be fingered by creepy Josh, I would say that she has form.That said, I never took Peter Beale to be the type to walk away from the responsibility of a child.
I guess we'll never know what's happening with Peter until the writers and the producer decide what's going on with him. We don't know for the moment because they don't know; and they don't know because there's obviously some sort of mileage in the Steven-Lauren spectacle, and also, they really haven't got around to casting Peter yet.
Steven wants to establish a family unit of his own. He loves Louis like his own son, much the same way Ian loves him; but it's clear that Lauren doesn't consider him even father-like for Louis and uses him as an unpaid and convenient babysitter most of the time. He also doesn't trust Lauren, which isn't really the basis for the beginning of a relationship.
And really, Lauren isn't worth his concern. At worst, she's indifferent to him; at best, she's reluctantly, and guiltily, affectionate. She's all about forging ahead with whatever her career is supposed to be, although she's too stupid to realise she's being groomed to be the ultimate company whore. It looks, however, as if his pierced condom strategy has worked.
Lauren is pregnant, and it's Steven's baby.
This means that there are two pregnancies now on the Square - and that inevitably means that one of those pregnancies will end before its time. I'm hoping this is the case with Lauren.
Another tradition of this show is the Beales hosting a dinner party from hell, and Steven lived up to that reputation tonight. It's obvious that Lauren was expecting him to be at the restaurant, otherwise Josh wouldn't have gone to the effort of parking the car and following her to the house. He'd have just dropped her at home. Instead, they were confronted with Steven, clad in a towel and cooking a gourmet meal. He insists that Josh stay for dinner, seats him next to Lauren and dominates the proceedings by regaling him with anecdotes which emphasize how committed he and Lauren are to each other.
The interesting thing about this segment was how much we learned about Josh by what he didn't tell about himself. Steven asked about his personal background - if he had a significant other or if he were playing the field.In the moment's hesitation in Josh's reply, Steven pronounced him "a player." I saw it differently. The hesitation, to me, indicated that he was in a bit of bother, and didn't really know how to respond - meaning, there is a significant other, and to deny this would be a lie. He's probably got a wife and maybe a kid; Lauren is a plaything, a bit of buff on the side.
But the weirdest, most existentialist part of this piece was Abi. Prior to her arriving, unannounced and uninvited to the unplanned dinner party, we saw various scenes of her sitting in the cafe,dressed in a pink bustière with a push-up bra. Considering the fact that Abi might be approaching 21, she still looks, acts and sounds like a 12 year-old, so I'm imagining that scene, plus the close-up of her pen leaking ink on her right tit was a paedophile's dream. The scene proceeded to get weirder as Abi pressed the pen against the side of her face in thought, blissfully unaware that the pen was leaking ink all over her face.
It was more than sad to see her sitting in the cafe, with a notebook opened in front of her and a blank page headed "My 21st Birthday". Your 21st is special, and the celebrations should be planned for you by the people you love - your family. Yet Max is too absorbed in his revenge plan, even to mention such a significant event in his daughter's life; Lauren is too far up her own arse, and Tanya's probably too far down a bottle and a wealthy man's wallet to care.
Abi lives with people who don't like her and who only tolerate her presence because her additional rent makes things easier for them, and because she cooks and cleans for them. She labels her belongings, and that's understandable. Abi grew up in a dysfunctional family where her parents put their own needs first, where fidelity wasn't even considered and where you never knew what was yours to have. As a result, she's a control freak - a place for everything and everything in its place, housework rotas, colour-coding, an organiser.
She's also more than just jealous of her sister; she viscerally hates her. For Abi, everything has come easy to Lauren, who hasn't appreciated anything. When Abi was still a small child, Lauren found out about Max's affair with Stacey and blew the family's Christmas to shreds. I'll bet there isn't a Christmas that goes by when Abi doesn't think of that.
I don't know what the significance of the ink on her face was, or the spiel she gave Josh about the designer coffee she had when he offered to walk her home, but her entire behaviour jarred Lauren, and Josh's subtle act of concern over Lauren's health also jarred Abi.
Don't worry about her ... Abi muttered.
This isn't a Who's the Daddy. This is a tale about abortion and about Steven losing his iron-willed control when he finds out what happened, and he will. I'm guessing Abi finds out that Lauren has a termination, and the shit will hit the fan.
Covfefe: Worshipping at the Altar of the Patron Saint of Po-Faced. Denise wasn't in this episode, but her presence pervaded it - a penitent Kim, literally crawling to Denise's doorstep to leave a bouquet of contrition, before later sitting in the confessional booth at the café and unburdoning her guilt to Mother Superior Carmel.
Please, stop tutting and whining about Denise's "starvation". Denise brought on her own suffering. Seriously, who walks out on a job in a fit of pique and doesn't shit themselves before they start pounding the pavement to find alternative work?
Denise didn't. In fact, it appeared as if her minimum wage zero hours' job allowed her enough of a bank balance to drink in the pub, eat in the café and shop at the Minute Mart, as well as fuck Kush for fun, without ever considering that mere mortal work was necessary for sustenance. When she realised that she really was, literally, out of money, then she allowed herself to mess her fragrant knickers. She sold the cheap chav tat around her neck for a fiver, but neglected to get rid of the sizeable amounts of gold bling on eight of her fingers, and still had time and some sort of funding to keep her nails expensively manicured.
In fact, it's mete to realise that every ounce of "suffering" Denise endured this year was of her own making. She chose to give her child up for adoption - and as much as she said it was for the child's benefit, a lot of it was for her benefit as well. How many times did we hear her whine about wanting time to herself,only to realise - again, through her own negligence and irresponsibility -that she was pregnant. She gave that child away for her own peace of mind and to avoid having Phil breathe down her neck. For all Sharon's shown her only kindness and compassion, something a lot of people have shown her and something this singularly ungrateful character doesn't deserve, she has never once thought to apologise to Sharon for sleeping with Sharon's husband. Indeed, she never once thought of the fact that Phil Mitchell had a wife, and when the truth was out about her baby, it was Shirley, Phil's ex, to whom she gave an apology.
She chose, also, to leave her job. She lost control of her monumental temper and assaulted a schoolboy, someone else's child. She mouthed off to the magistrates about their decision to punish her, and she bad-mouthed her employer and then expected special treatment because her district manager happened to be an old friend.
And she chose to romp the beds with Kush and bury her nose in literature, expecting money to fall from the tree in her back garden, instead of looking for work. What's worse, everyone around her was made to be too stupid to wonder what the fuck she was living off. Tell a lie - Kim told her, point-blank, that she should have been looking for work agesago, and she threw Kim out of the house.
Also, how stupid is Carmel?
They make it so difficult these days to claim benefits.
Duuuuh ... you dumb bitch, you should know that whenever a person voluntarily walks on a job, they aren't automatically entitled to benefits. They have to wait a matter of months before they are considered entitled, although Denise is one of the most entitled characters on the show. So now the game is on to figure out how to help poor, deserving Saint Denise,without impingeing upon that infamous pride.
God, I hate this character.
Cevfefe:Jack the Trumpian Thug. It's half-term, but Jack won't let the kids out of the house. As Amy, whose incarceration has regressed her mental state to that of a four year-old told Uncle Max, they couldn't go out until Charlie was gone...
When Max questioned where Charlie was going, she and Ricky told him that Jack planned to "bin" Charlie.
Jack is shite. He really is no better than Ronnie, even citing that if Ronnie were alive and Charlie had made another appearance, she'd arrange to have him killed. It's what she would have done and wanted to do in the past. He honestly thinks he can get away with this, reckoning - at least - on Charlie being a coward. Charlie's anything but a coward, and he's fighting for his son.
This was actually the most interesting part of the episode, because the audience knows what Max is all about. Max is behind having Matthew handed over to Charlie, but Max's convincing makes everything sound sensible.
Firstly, Jack will get caught. That's bound to happen, and then all three of the kids would go into care. Secondly, and there's some insight here on why Max is targeting Jack, Max tells him that sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you fight, kick and scream, you just have to accept that the odds are stacked against you - this was always the way with Max in the Branning family dynamic, with Jim favouring Jack.
For all he's a sneak with an agenda (albeit a very watchable sneak, Jake Wood and Linda Henry being the best things about this show at the moment), Max talks some good, hard sense. This isn't about Jack and his grieving for Ronnie. It's about Matthew and the simple truth that Matthew is not Jack's son and that he has a living father who wants him. Jack simply has to go throughH the legal channels, and accept the fact that Charlie is Matthew's father.
OK, so what was this eavesdropping thing with Amy and Ricky? Ricky may not have been around at the time Matthew was born, but Amy certainly was. She knew that Charlie and Ronnie were married and that Matthew was Charlies's son. WTF? And whilst I'm asking questions,who owns Ronnie's house? The house was in her name and Roxy's, but they both are dead, and what is Jack doing living there? Roxy may not have had a will, but Ronnie would have had one, and she would have named a guardian for the kids with instructions to sell the house and put the proceeds in a trust fund for Amy and Matthew.
These questions never get answered on this show.
Covfefe: Bits and Bobs. Martin and Amy on the Tube set which Sean O'Connor just LOOOOVVVEEEES, coming from an appointment with someone whom Martin calls "the mental midwife." (Actually, that's the mental health midwife, but this show always makes Martin out to be a Luddite and a near-idiot, yet another pejorative depiction of a man).
Think about that - Max is a villain, Phil and Jack are bullies and thugs, Mick is a spoiled brat, Steven is obsessive, Ian and Kush are Oedipal, Vincent is emasculated and Martin is just stupid.
By coincidence, they run into Michelle, on her way home from another day slogging at the department store. She shows kindness to a man having a nosebleed on the train. Watch this space. He'll launder and return her hanky. Hanky? What woman carries a handkerchief in this disposable society? Come to think of it, Michelle's divorce papers were addressed to "Mrs Michelle Fowler. WTF was that? Did Tim not have a surname, or did they bond, when they met, by the fact that they shared the same surname?
It looks as though Rebecca and Louise are friends again, on the strength of Travis texting Louise to ask her for a date. Wise Rebecca wonders if the text really were from Travis. O'Connor is pushing this duo so hard as the 21st Century's Sharon and Michelle that it's painful to watch, especially the bit where Louise remarks that she and Rebecca were almost "family." Well, they were, originally. Louise was born and registered "Louise Fowler", and for all intents and purposes, since Mark Fowler was Louise's legal father, she and Rebecca are first cousins ... Who am I kidding? The bullying storyline,which none of us has missed, is about to rear its two ugly heads again.
Finally, the new couple are a study in elderly misery. Grey, non-descript and ordinary beyond belief, with a mingeing, miserable neighbour from the old days, whining about losing "her view" and not paying for her tea and a soggy looking teacake. The brief scene served only as a prelude to the introduction of the ueber chav Taylors, who, I gather, are the alluded neighbours from hell about to descend on Walford.
This show can't possibly get any worse, can it?
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