Wednesday, June 14, 2017

The Big Story (and Its Real Intentions) - Review:- Tuesday 13.06.2017

So now we know.

In Tuesday's episode, the intrigue that's been simmering (almost to the point of forgettable non-existence) on the backburner of so many Denise storylines, was at last revealed.

Yep, folks, the BIG STORYLINE that Sean O'Connor teased would encompass the summer and involve every character in the show, has, at last been revealed; and what it all boils down to ... is one big crock of shit with which the EP has a particular issue and which involves making Queen Saint Holy Mother Patron Saint of Po-Face Denise into SuperDenise, or rather, WonderWoman Denise.

That was made obvious also. Denise will be the Saviour of the Square, and in a plot that's clearly a device by which the BBC (another corporation which owes its existence to a stealth tax we all have to pay or be imprisoned for not paying) will utilise for the purpose of building a new set for the show (why bother?), I'm sure that in O'Connor's world, somewhere, he's wanting icons and triptychs depicting Saint Denise/Holy Mother Denise/WonderWoman Denise on every corner so residents can genuflect and Kim can claim special privileges.

Denise is the Square's new Trump - thin-skinned and ignorant and arrogant in her superiority.

Instead of watching this self-righteous drivel, I watched the Sessions testimony live from the US Senate, where a real, highly-educated woman of colour in the highest echelon of political power, Kamala Harris, a future President of the United States, flick off the obvious attempts at misogyny and hand Jeff Sessions his Confederate arse on a plate.

This was real. Denise is bad fiction. Denise is no Kamala Harris. She's not even fit to wipe Harris's designer-clad feet.

Stuff that, Sean-Fucking-O'Connor.

The other big promise of a storyline - and taking a leaf from Dominic Treadwell-Collins's adaptation of We' Have to Talk about Kevin for Bobby Beale purposes - O'Connor uses his other muse, Jenna Russell as the pathetic NuMichelle, in a direct lift from Claire MacIntosh's best-selling thriller, I See You about a woman being stalked by a man on a Tube train.

Sniff the air ... do you smell Brookside?



The Name of the Game. Once I knew what Weyland & Co were up to with Max, I called it. They were behind Mr Popodopoulos selling the launderette, which was supposed to become a dry cleaners, even having an HR woman interview Dot for the job of manager; and nothing's come of that. They were, most probably, behind the purchase of the car lot property, wherein Phil and Sharon were paid a huge amount of money. They've probably bought the chippie at a knock-down price from Ian, and it was interesting hearing Ian take the side of the little man regarding the fate of the Community Centre (again, bought by Weyland & Co), when back at the beginning of the Millennium, it was Ian who sought to bring affluent wealth to the Square when he invested everything in his Beale Towers project and subsequently went bankrupt.

However, there are some nuances in this storyline which were more interesting to me that the obvious shenanigans of what will turn out to be Max being the villain up until the 11th hour when WonderWoman Denise flashes her tits in his face and makes him see sense,so they team up to save the Square.

This was the increasing isolation of Abi, within her family dynamic. She's about to turn 21, and she wants a 21st party. Who doesn't? But this is something usually thrown for the celebrant by their family. Instead, with Abi, her mother has sent money to pay for the do, but won't be coming; and her father shows her no interest at all. When she shows up at Weyland & Co, hoping that Lauren would take an interest in helping her plan the party, Lauren cries off, and when she has to leave with Max to photograph a property, then Max abruptly snatches the money he gave Abi for a proposed lunch with Lauren and dashes off.

Abi has left Dot's home, a place where she felt safe and loved, in order to play with the big kids and house share with Jay, Ben and Donna. None of them like nor want her there, other than for the fact that her extra rent money takes the financial strain off them and because she's responsible, practical, and does the cooking and cleaning. She isn't aware that they slag her off behind her back.

And now, her family - her father and sister - are moving away from her to the extent that she's virtually on her own. Lauren was grateful enough for Abi to lie for her and be there for emotional support when she had her abortion, but she's uneasy in the fact that Abi is acting as her chorus conscience in forcing her to admit that doing what she did,behind Steven's back, was wrong. As well, Abi,whilst she craves the love and attention of her family, is cognizant of and reacting to Lauren's most glaring faults - her self-absorption and her self-obsession. Abi is increasingly feeling like someone who's an afterthought and who got left behind.

Obviously, creepy Josh didn't know that the Big Bazoomba (Simon Williams) would show up at the deserted warehouse where Max was supposed to be surveying. But now we know what's behind this big Secret Plan.

Weyland & Co are a corporation of property developers, who buy up tranches of property in underdeveloped and down-market communities and then re-develop the properties to be re-sold to wealthy clients and investors. It's gentrification. This is Sean O'Connor's bee bonnet dealing with community spirit and the break-down of community, only to have the idea of community coalesce into one mighty being in times of strife. He should have looked at the West Kensington community and the Grenfell Tower catastrophe earlier today,

But this is O'Connor's issue - the gentrification of what he perceives to be old-time and traditional East End neighbourhoods. Shoreditch and Hackney are now gentrified, but this is universal. Harlem in NYC is now an exclusive area in which to live, and the old Kalorama area of Washington DC is home to no less than a President (Obama), two Secretaries of State (Rex Tillerson and Madeleine Allbright) and a Presidential daughter (Ivanka Trump - actually, three Presidential daughters in Trump and the two Obama girls).

Shit happens.

And when this sort of shit happens, you usually find that most residents take the money offered them for their homes and scarper to more pleasant places.

Weyland has secured the launderette, the Community Centre, probably the chippie and the car lot - all places of importance in Walford.

But he wants the pub. The Queen Vic is the heart-and-soul of the Walford community. As if we didn't know Fi was a plant, although she genuinely seems interested in improving the profits the pub generates. Maybe she's the weak link. So now it seems that Weyland & Co have promised some sweeteners to the Council, and it's been through Max's efforts that Carmel has now got a job in Planning. She may not disclose anything the Council discusses in public planning (and well she shouldn't, because that sort of information, until it's released to the public, is classified), but a couple of drinks would see her spilling any and all sorts of information to Max; and if he has to sleep with the old hag, he will.

And, of course, it wouldn't be a storyline, a major storyline, if it weren't tailor-made for Denise, who has to be front and centre of everything in the show. If DTC reckoned Peggy Mitchell was London, then it's patently obvious that Sean O'Connor thinks Denise Fox is EastEnders. Tonight, Kim's pithy little petition about the Community Centre wasn't good enough for Saint Denise. In her new-found confidence and increasing vocabulary (shame about the grammar), she, instead, concocted a letter to the Council, demanding to know the intentions behind the closure of the Community Centre and signing no less than Carmel's name to the piece. Is she really so arrogant and patently ignorant that she believes that Carmel, recently employed in a position which bases a large share of its job description on discretion and confidentiality, would rock the boat and potentially lose her job by stirring up trouble. 

Hey, what's a job? Denise should know. You don't need a job to eat. If Carmel ever went hungry, she could send Shakil out to beg and then eat from the bins about which she complained so much.

No, seriously, that was stupid, but even more stupid was Denise actually applying for the job as receptionist in the Council offices, with no similar experience, a woefully aggressive manner, no qualifications and a less-than-stellar reference from The Minute Mart, expecting to get the job just so she can sabotage whatever is going on relevant to Walford.

Spare us from this atrociously obnoxious woman. I long for the days of endless, wall-to-wall Brannings without this po-faced bitch stinking up the screen.

Oh, and another overt subtlety ... is Max having the stirrings of a crisis of conscience?

The Bully's Handbook. Rebecca looks like someone's middle-aged aunt. Obviously, this bullying method is The Big Lie. 

Goebbels invented it, and loads of politicians, especially in the Republican part in America, use it. Its premise is simple: you repeat a lie long enough and loud enough, and eventually, people come to see it as the truth. These days, you only have to repeat an untruth a couple of times before it's picked up on social media and suddenly becomes an established, albeit controversial version of the truth. Such shit happens sooner these days because people are more stupid and have shorter attention spans.

I doubt Sniggle and Snaggle and Keegan have told anyone other then their inner circle (this would be Shakil for Keegan - Shakil is looking rather good these days since he got rid of that preposterous manbun - and no one for Sniggle the offensive racial stereotype and Snaggle the wrinkly teen), because the lie about Louise's lost virginity would have been all around the school by now, unless Travis the manchild is unduly as gentlemanly as his double-barrelled surname and doesn't give a toss about the great unwasheds' rantings, or the story isn't being bandied about.

The fact that Keegan, Sniggle and Snaggle are putting it about that Keegan slept with Louise when she was too drunk to know or remember what she was doing just shows how innately stupid they are (and also how innately stupid the writers are as well). Because having sex with someone who is obviously so drunk she doesn't know what she's doing is rape.

Everyone knows this, and the pithy writing room at EastEnders should, or else they aren't worth the money our stealth tax pays them. Even in EastEndersLand, Dot watches Corrie, and ITV has long been running ads about what sexual consent is. One of the situations is if someone is out of it drunk, that isn't consent, that's rape. All Louise would have to do is go to the police, make a statement, and a copper would be knocking on Keegan's door. As Keegan seems to be all mouth and cowardly trousers, I would bet that he's as virginal as the virginal Travis.

Passing an ugly story like that about is bad enough, but now they've stoked Louise's fears by telling her that Keegan has chlamydia.

When will we be rid of these deeply unpopular characters? We don't want teenaged angst portrayed by bad adult actors pretending to be kids.

On the other hand, this storyline served as a backdrop for the Fowlers to include a lonely Kush in Father's Day celebrations. He asked to see Arthur, and it was obvious that Stacey had planned Arthur's day with Martin in mind (after all, he has Martin's surname), but she graciously invited him to spend the day with them. It also served as a backdrop to Martin and Stacey telling Rebecca about Stacey's pregnancy.

I do wish, however, Stacey and Rebecca would stop patronising Martin. What is it about this show that, apart from Max the villain, every other man around is pathetically weak, infantile and patronised by the women in his life?

In other non-action, Jack baked a cake.


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