If I were looking for a thematic title to the first part of Thursday's double bill, I'd entitle it Spoiled and Sullen Entitlement. It was men (and women) at their absolute worst and weakest, with some of the previously most pejorative characters stepping up to the plate to impress.
New Balls Please.
I used to be well impressed by Charlie Cotton, when he was a man of mystery about whom no one could be sure. Was he good or bad? Was he yet another psychopath intent on doing Dot harm? Even when it was revealed that he was simply an underachieving bog cleaner, a true son of Nick, criminally more a fantacist than an actuality, sold on the idea of a flash car denoting status, I found him interesting.
Then they made him have sex with an alien. Roswell Ronnie. He hasn't been the same since.
Rumour has it that Ronnie Mitchell robbed him of his balls, and they are kept in a glass jar by her bed, along with his penis; and she allows him use of them whenever she wants to be sexually satisfied. So utterly dependent is Charlie on the Sleeping Ice Princess that he convinces himself that he is utterly incapable of looking after or even loving his son, so much so that he actually wants to give him away.
Roswell Ronnie is still in a coma, and - as the doctor attending her reiterates - the longer The Ice Queen hibernates, the more uncertain her mental and physical state might be. She could be a vegetable. Or she could wake up and be even more of a monster than she is already. Or she might wake up able to show love, compassion and empathy. In reality, she would be irreparably brain-damaged to a certain degree, but Ronnie will come back stronger. As was constantly repeated in this episode, Ronnie is strong. Frankenstein and Michael Myers couldn't be vanquished. Be afraid, be very afraid.
In point of fact, Charlie relinquishing CJ (the biggest newborn I've ever seen, and by definition, perhaps another Roswell alien) to Roxy is probably what Ronnie ultimately would have ultimately wanted; the irony of the situation is that Charlie, poor sod, genuinely loves the sleepingpsychopath beauty, where for her, he is just a means to an end. As for Charlie leaving CJ (named as such by the latest Worzel Gummidge clone, Roxy) with Roxy gives serious question to his judgement, as Roxy managed to sleep an entire night without ever realising that the baby had bone out of the house in the arms of Nick as well as Roxy being, arguably, the worst mother in Walford.
Nick, on the other hand, surprisingly, seemed to be the voice of reason, encouraging his de-balled son to step up to the plate and raise his son. Nick's got everything planned - Charlie living with Dot and his son, Nick and Yvonne buying a small flat around the corner with the money Ronnie had "given" him, Sunday lunches with Dot after church. What is this? England in the 1930s?
Now consider this: Roxy believes Phil's guilt. Charlie the Clueless believes Phil's guilt and will somehow be sucked into Max's ultimate Mitchell scam. But the Sleeping Princess knows Phil's innocence, and she knows, in her silent slumber, who was behind this assault; and when the truth is out, I wouldn't want to be Roxy or Charlie for the world.
On another note, Declan Bennett has reached his limit. As an International Man of Mystery, he was darned good, but once he was paired with Ronnie and subsequently, he's been plebeian. It's as if he's woken up and finally realised he's outside his comfort zone, and his delivery has been toneless and bland. The worst scene he had in this episode was his tearless crying on Nick's shoulder was embarrassing.
Mr Sleaze.
No one does sleaze like Jake Wood. Max was at his most pathetic, despicable and off-putting tonight, but he was damned watchable. There was none better than that final frame - Max, with a cigarette dangling from his unshaven mouth, to Charlie at the car lot:-
You find out where Phil's weak ... and you make him pay.
Throughout this episode, Max's behaviour was incorrigible. Yes, he's grieving for Emma. Yes, he feels guilty - but not because he's killed Lucy, I believe, moreso because he feels guilty about some of the times he treated Emma badly. I got the impression that maybe her necklace that Max wanted to keep may have been a gift from Cameron, who seemed to want it subtly also. His most horrifying scene wasn't the way he roughed up Cameron when he came to collect Emma's possessions, it was his remorselessly aggressive bullying of his own daughter, shouting - no, screaming- down at her from a superior height after Cameron had told Max, indirectly, some uncomfortable home truths. Max has to find a way of living with himself, so he takes his frustration out on his daughter's concern.
Surprisingly, Lauren came out as the most mature member of the Branning fold, bar Carol, who was actually staying with Max to ensure she could look after him properly. Max was an ungrateful pig, and when Lauren pointed out to him that his aggressive handling of Cameron, who was grieving too, wasn't helpful to their situation. Cameron was a police officer - suppose he reported Max's abusive behaviour to the police? And Max repays her by standing aggressively over her, screaming at her about his grief at losing someone he loved (and whom he'd only known for five minutes) and ranting about Phil Mitchell being responsible for Emma's death (when he never once stopped to consider Phil's family loyalty and that he, like Max, could have been unjustly accused), ultimately telling Lauren he didn't give a rat's arse what she or Carol thought.
Lauren's response was pitch perfect, most unlike her usual behaviour. Could it be that Lauren is growing up. She was very quiet and utterly effective.
Don't stand over me like that ... (Good, she recognised Max's body language and posture as being overtly aggressive and designed to intimidate).
And don't you ever speak to me like that again. (A bit rich, considering some of the ways in which Lauren has spoken to Max in the past, and unjustifiably so; but Max was totally out of order in this instance, and he wasn't thinking about his daughter and sister at all, only his own wallowing self-pity.)
Here's something to consider ... did Cameron get Emma's handbag which Lauren found? If so, he's got her phone ...
Max's comfort, of course, is Abi the spoiled brat, the animal-slayer, cuddling up to dear old dad with words of love and understanding, even though she was the one who gave Emma the most rude treatment. Line of the night is from Max to Abi about Ben ...
You definitely sure he ain't gay?
Abi is a stupid girl with little common sense, and she's so besotted with Businessman Ben that she perceives his nemesis as "that cow" Sharon and brags that Ben's made himself CEO of The Arches.
(Pardon me whilst I piss myself laughing at that)
Abi isn't Lucy's killer, but when she's in spoiled baby bitch mode, I really wish she was; at least, her disclosure of Ben's recently-acquired CEO status (single employee: Jay) has given Max food for thought, and he's ready to snooker "experienced businessman Ben" in on a dodgy deal.
Crybaby Ben.
Hands up, anyone who thought Phil was being stupid, naming Ben Power of Attorney? We all knew Phil wasn't serious. Ben doesn't know his arsehole from his elbow when it comes to business, and the first thing he's doing is naming himself Chief Executive Officer of a backstreet garage. Ultimately, his ego is flattered by Max Branning him stroking his high opinion of himself and asking him to solicit motors for Deals on Wheels.
Sharon actually knows Phil better than Ben does. Highlight of the night was when Phil told Ben to his face that the Power of Attorney document dated from the time Sharon was scamming him, further telling him that Sharon knew what she was doing more than Ben did, and why didn't Ben mosey on off and have a coffee? Ammunition enough for Ben to fuck Phil over royally.
I loved Sharon's line about "Dot's precious son," and Phil's riposte about "taking care of Cotton." But the enduring image of this entire storyline is the prospect of Ben doing something stupid for Phil to clear up, yet again. Remember how Frank used to chase Ricky through the Square screaming? Well, I somehow think Phil will do something more than that.
Ingratitude Personified. Kat truly is the most ungrateful bitch in Walford. She's gone from squatting with Alfie to squatting with Stacey. Neither have a pot in which to piss, and the rent's due.
How?
Dean is the only signee left to the original lease, and he's responsible for the rent. The landlord would be averse to taking Kat, Stacey and their broods, not without proof of sufficient income to maintain the rent on what is obviously a three-bedroom flat. When Dean shared with Aleks and Tosh, it was mooted that the monthly rent, split amongst the three of them was roughly £1500 - 500 quid apiece. I doubt Kat and Stacey have two quid between them, even though they were sat over a cuppa in the cafe.
Although Kat has the propensity to bring Stacey's character down, I'm glad Stacey reminded her of a few essentials - like Stacey had to wait long enough for her benefits, which she might lose if she were caught working, and that Stacey had babysat all three of Kat's children the previous evening whilst Kat was out drinking with Donna.
And I almost felt sorry for Donna tonight, the off-handed way Kat treated her ...
Just because we had a drink together doesn't mean we're friends.
Yeah, Kat, because you have so many friends from whom to choose, don't you? I don't notice Kim making her presence known to you since she returned, and you two were famous running buddies.
I get Kat's angry at Alfie, but Alfie put himself out to help her on the pitch, refusing to accept any sort of money for his ware, and giving the proceeds to her for the boys. She couldn't even muster a thank-you, and the news Big Mo brought back, we know, is the trigger for the emergence, one too many times, for the Dirty Girl.
I want the Moons gone by this time next year, if not before.
Good episode.
New Balls Please.
I used to be well impressed by Charlie Cotton, when he was a man of mystery about whom no one could be sure. Was he good or bad? Was he yet another psychopath intent on doing Dot harm? Even when it was revealed that he was simply an underachieving bog cleaner, a true son of Nick, criminally more a fantacist than an actuality, sold on the idea of a flash car denoting status, I found him interesting.
Then they made him have sex with an alien. Roswell Ronnie. He hasn't been the same since.
Rumour has it that Ronnie Mitchell robbed him of his balls, and they are kept in a glass jar by her bed, along with his penis; and she allows him use of them whenever she wants to be sexually satisfied. So utterly dependent is Charlie on the Sleeping Ice Princess that he convinces himself that he is utterly incapable of looking after or even loving his son, so much so that he actually wants to give him away.
Roswell Ronnie is still in a coma, and - as the doctor attending her reiterates - the longer The Ice Queen hibernates, the more uncertain her mental and physical state might be. She could be a vegetable. Or she could wake up and be even more of a monster than she is already. Or she might wake up able to show love, compassion and empathy. In reality, she would be irreparably brain-damaged to a certain degree, but Ronnie will come back stronger. As was constantly repeated in this episode, Ronnie is strong. Frankenstein and Michael Myers couldn't be vanquished. Be afraid, be very afraid.
In point of fact, Charlie relinquishing CJ (the biggest newborn I've ever seen, and by definition, perhaps another Roswell alien) to Roxy is probably what Ronnie ultimately would have ultimately wanted; the irony of the situation is that Charlie, poor sod, genuinely loves the sleeping
Nick, on the other hand, surprisingly, seemed to be the voice of reason, encouraging his de-balled son to step up to the plate and raise his son. Nick's got everything planned - Charlie living with Dot and his son, Nick and Yvonne buying a small flat around the corner with the money Ronnie had "given" him, Sunday lunches with Dot after church. What is this? England in the 1930s?
Now consider this: Roxy believes Phil's guilt. Charlie the Clueless believes Phil's guilt and will somehow be sucked into Max's ultimate Mitchell scam. But the Sleeping Princess knows Phil's innocence, and she knows, in her silent slumber, who was behind this assault; and when the truth is out, I wouldn't want to be Roxy or Charlie for the world.
On another note, Declan Bennett has reached his limit. As an International Man of Mystery, he was darned good, but once he was paired with Ronnie and subsequently, he's been plebeian. It's as if he's woken up and finally realised he's outside his comfort zone, and his delivery has been toneless and bland. The worst scene he had in this episode was his tearless crying on Nick's shoulder was embarrassing.
Mr Sleaze.
No one does sleaze like Jake Wood. Max was at his most pathetic, despicable and off-putting tonight, but he was damned watchable. There was none better than that final frame - Max, with a cigarette dangling from his unshaven mouth, to Charlie at the car lot:-
You find out where Phil's weak ... and you make him pay.
Throughout this episode, Max's behaviour was incorrigible. Yes, he's grieving for Emma. Yes, he feels guilty - but not because he's killed Lucy, I believe, moreso because he feels guilty about some of the times he treated Emma badly. I got the impression that maybe her necklace that Max wanted to keep may have been a gift from Cameron, who seemed to want it subtly also. His most horrifying scene wasn't the way he roughed up Cameron when he came to collect Emma's possessions, it was his remorselessly aggressive bullying of his own daughter, shouting - no, screaming- down at her from a superior height after Cameron had told Max, indirectly, some uncomfortable home truths. Max has to find a way of living with himself, so he takes his frustration out on his daughter's concern.
Surprisingly, Lauren came out as the most mature member of the Branning fold, bar Carol, who was actually staying with Max to ensure she could look after him properly. Max was an ungrateful pig, and when Lauren pointed out to him that his aggressive handling of Cameron, who was grieving too, wasn't helpful to their situation. Cameron was a police officer - suppose he reported Max's abusive behaviour to the police? And Max repays her by standing aggressively over her, screaming at her about his grief at losing someone he loved (and whom he'd only known for five minutes) and ranting about Phil Mitchell being responsible for Emma's death (when he never once stopped to consider Phil's family loyalty and that he, like Max, could have been unjustly accused), ultimately telling Lauren he didn't give a rat's arse what she or Carol thought.
Lauren's response was pitch perfect, most unlike her usual behaviour. Could it be that Lauren is growing up. She was very quiet and utterly effective.
Don't stand over me like that ... (Good, she recognised Max's body language and posture as being overtly aggressive and designed to intimidate).
And don't you ever speak to me like that again. (A bit rich, considering some of the ways in which Lauren has spoken to Max in the past, and unjustifiably so; but Max was totally out of order in this instance, and he wasn't thinking about his daughter and sister at all, only his own wallowing self-pity.)
Here's something to consider ... did Cameron get Emma's handbag which Lauren found? If so, he's got her phone ...
Max's comfort, of course, is Abi the spoiled brat, the animal-slayer, cuddling up to dear old dad with words of love and understanding, even though she was the one who gave Emma the most rude treatment. Line of the night is from Max to Abi about Ben ...
You definitely sure he ain't gay?
Abi is a stupid girl with little common sense, and she's so besotted with Businessman Ben that she perceives his nemesis as "that cow" Sharon and brags that Ben's made himself CEO of The Arches.
(Pardon me whilst I piss myself laughing at that)
Abi isn't Lucy's killer, but when she's in spoiled baby bitch mode, I really wish she was; at least, her disclosure of Ben's recently-acquired CEO status (single employee: Jay) has given Max food for thought, and he's ready to snooker "experienced businessman Ben" in on a dodgy deal.
Crybaby Ben.
Hands up, anyone who thought Phil was being stupid, naming Ben Power of Attorney? We all knew Phil wasn't serious. Ben doesn't know his arsehole from his elbow when it comes to business, and the first thing he's doing is naming himself Chief Executive Officer of a backstreet garage. Ultimately, his ego is flattered by Max Branning him stroking his high opinion of himself and asking him to solicit motors for Deals on Wheels.
Sharon actually knows Phil better than Ben does. Highlight of the night was when Phil told Ben to his face that the Power of Attorney document dated from the time Sharon was scamming him, further telling him that Sharon knew what she was doing more than Ben did, and why didn't Ben mosey on off and have a coffee? Ammunition enough for Ben to fuck Phil over royally.
I loved Sharon's line about "Dot's precious son," and Phil's riposte about "taking care of Cotton." But the enduring image of this entire storyline is the prospect of Ben doing something stupid for Phil to clear up, yet again. Remember how Frank used to chase Ricky through the Square screaming? Well, I somehow think Phil will do something more than that.
Ingratitude Personified. Kat truly is the most ungrateful bitch in Walford. She's gone from squatting with Alfie to squatting with Stacey. Neither have a pot in which to piss, and the rent's due.
How?
Dean is the only signee left to the original lease, and he's responsible for the rent. The landlord would be averse to taking Kat, Stacey and their broods, not without proof of sufficient income to maintain the rent on what is obviously a three-bedroom flat. When Dean shared with Aleks and Tosh, it was mooted that the monthly rent, split amongst the three of them was roughly £1500 - 500 quid apiece. I doubt Kat and Stacey have two quid between them, even though they were sat over a cuppa in the cafe.
Although Kat has the propensity to bring Stacey's character down, I'm glad Stacey reminded her of a few essentials - like Stacey had to wait long enough for her benefits, which she might lose if she were caught working, and that Stacey had babysat all three of Kat's children the previous evening whilst Kat was out drinking with Donna.
And I almost felt sorry for Donna tonight, the off-handed way Kat treated her ...
Just because we had a drink together doesn't mean we're friends.
Yeah, Kat, because you have so many friends from whom to choose, don't you? I don't notice Kim making her presence known to you since she returned, and you two were famous running buddies.
I get Kat's angry at Alfie, but Alfie put himself out to help her on the pitch, refusing to accept any sort of money for his ware, and giving the proceeds to her for the boys. She couldn't even muster a thank-you, and the news Big Mo brought back, we know, is the trigger for the emergence, one too many times, for the Dirty Girl.
I want the Moons gone by this time next year, if not before.
Good episode.
No comments:
Post a Comment