Boy, who'd have a family in Walford. They're all torn apart by secrets and lies. The less said about the Carters, the better, but Old Walford is smarting from a surplus from the epidemic of secrets and lies that beset the rest of the Square, and soon the Masoods are going to be beset by the same.
This was, at best, a mediocre episode, its saving grace being one scene in particular.
But let's start with the short end of the stick, shall we? Because a lot of what we saw tonight was infuriatingly frustrating.
Two Bitches and a Busybody.
The Kat-Donna-Pam storyline tonight was one of the biggest pieces of tripe I've seen in recent times on EastEnders. It positively reeked of Newman. To think how brilliant the show has been in recent days, it's a bit shocking that it could revert so quickly to such mediocrity as we saw in this storyline tonight, and that's sad.
It's sad because once upon a time I really used to like Kat, and when she was introduced on the show, I thought Pam was really nice too. Now Kat is a spent character, all the moreso in her recent reincarnation as Kat Slater, or the once and future Kat Slutter; and Pam is an annoying and interfering busybody.
Here's the godawful truth about Kat: she never had any friends. Her dynamic, introduced by John Yorke, was the first incidence of the sibling-friend situation. Her sisters were her only mates. Alfie was, in fact, her best friend. But Kat is toxic when it comes to friend friends. She is the utmost worst influence on Stacey, who's come on in leaps and bounds as far as character development is concerned. Kat was the one who encouraged Stacey to break up a marriage simply because she could and because Kat convinced her that she was entitled to the one night stand who fathered a baby on her.
Her friendship with Kim consisted of nights on the tiles whilst Alfie sat at home and minded her son. She and Bianca bullied and terrorised the market inspectors, and her idea that she's entitled to work a pitch on a council-administere market without paying a pitch fee is absolute evidence of her entitlement mentality.
It's not rocket science to know what Kat's and Alfie's purported big storyline entails - the rearing of Uncle Harry's dead head to result in Kat in full "dirty girl" mode, only for Alfie to come in and pick up the pieces. Again. It's totally obvious that Dominic Treadwell-Collins has no interest in Alfie or Kat - otherwise, he wouldn't reprise a storyline that's been now thrice-turned. Maybe it's time for him to reach down his Y-fronts and call time on the characters.
Donna is this year's Adam Best. What is it with DTC and abysmally unpleasant disabled characters? I know disabled people are human and can be as nasty as the next person, but in her own way Donna is as despicable as Adam - a rude, unpleasant and cackling poisoned dwarf. Pam was right about one thing - neither Kat nor Donna have any friends, and that's not surprising, so it's obvious that the two bitches in question should find each other to join together in what they would call "banta" across the market, which literally means baiting and bullying Tamwar and anyone else they choose.
Pam has also stagnated. What initially came across as someone warm, concerned and engaging is now coming across as an inveterate busybody and gossip, intent on directing other people's purpose in life. Yes, I know she's compensating for her unseen grandson who's estranged from her, and she feels the guilt of having euthanised her son, but she was too eager to judge Alfie on the fire and too solicitous of news about the Carter debacle.
The silly storyline of the contrived friendship between Snow Off-White and the Poisoned Dwarf, aided and abetted by Malefacent Pam was just that: silly, shallow and pisspoor.
The Moons need to go at the end of this interminable storyline.
The Worst Kept Secret in Walford.
Let's take a head count on who know Nick's about:- Dot, Charlie, Ronnie, Yvonne, Carol, Ian, Phil, Sharon ... and now Fatboy.
Oh, add the police to that bunch, even though they don't know Nick's hiding out there, they now know he isn't dead.
When that many people know a secret, it isn't a secret anymore, so why doesn't Sharon just tell Roxy and Billy that Nick's around, that Ronnie stole Phil's money in order to pay Nick off to make him leave, which he has no intention of doing. Sharon wasn't around at that time in 2001 when Ashley Cotton got killed as a result of Nick trying and intending to kill Mark Fowler - in just the same way he tampered with the Audi this time - but Phil and Ian were, and someone should remember what Nick did and clue her in on such things.
I know Dot loves Nick unconditionally - she's a mother and she should - but watching her brazenly lie to the police about Nick was singularly uncomfortable. When Nick is found out, and he will be, she could be prosecuted. Dot's being bullied - openly by Yvonne, who's still fighting her conscience about what Nick's done, and passive-aggressively by both Nick and Charlie. More important, Dotknows Nick has form. She knows exactly what happened to Ashley and who was responsible for it, just as she knows who shopped Nick to the police and why she did it.
Did Nick even have to ask? He knew damned well this would be Sharon's retaliation after visiting the house.
The Cottons are a rogues' gallery, with Dot quavering and wavering in the middle. Oh my days! (as Fatboy would say), she's a church warden. When the truth is out, what will the Reverend Mr Stevens think? Dot's thrown her lot in with the sinners for her love of Nick (understandable), for her devotion to Charlie, whom she didn't know from Adam until recently and who's also involved with the armed robbery, amongst other things, and for her inimitable pride, which has always been Dot's downfall. She's got what she wanted now - not enough that she was loved and accepted by Jim's family, she had to have her own about her.
Remember her explanation to Cora on the eve of Heather's wedding about Jack? ~ He isn't mine.~
Well, now she's got hers around her and what a motley crew they are! A fugitive convict described as a dangerous man, a slightly batty woman who's just as much a grifter as the rest of them, and a bog cleaner with psychopathic tendencies.
On the subject of Charlie, tonight we saw Declan Bennett hit the wall of acting on the show. Sometimes, his performance tonight was cringeworthy. It seemed as if he were forcing his lines or that he didn't really believe in what he was performing. Charlie abandons his son, allegedly because he doesn't want his son associated with Nick in anyway, so he leaves him with Roxy? She's less than Mother of the Year. Let's hope she cares for the baby a bit better than she cares for herself. Her hair looked like it had been through a hedgerow tonight and she wore one of Worzel Gummidge's jumpers, cleverly designed to show her bra straps strategically.
Mitchell women are stubborn, says Aleks. They are also incredibly stupid and inattentive mothers. Let's not go on about Ronnie swanning about the Square on a cold December's day with a day-old infant or leaving him asleep in his basket whilst she moseyed on off to the lounge to sleep through the afternoon and awake near midnight to find him dead. Roxy fell asleep in the same room with Ronnie's baby, and Nick entered their house, as easy as lairy, and picked the "sprog" up.
Now Fatboy's involved in this increasingly complicated scenario, being sworn to secrecy by Dot doing her poor-pitiful-me routine. Sharon, don't worry about losing Dot's good opinion of you. She isn't deserving of you.
Out of the Mouths of Babes and Sucklings.
Max's Theme Song ...
A lot of the times lately, Jake Wood has been phoning it in, but there's no one who plays the seedy, self-pitying loser like Wood. He was at his forte tonight, especially in the scene with the divind Lindsay Coulson. I love it when Carol rallies around her family, and quite honestly, since Bianca and her brood scurried, she's been due for some clucking about as a mother hen.
It was Carol who stepped up to the plate for Max when Bradley died, Carol who took care of Jack when he found out about James, and it's Carol who steps into the breach again, sometimes to Max's annoyance.
Max is sick of the Lucy Beale investigation, but not because he's the killer. He's feeling guilty because he blames himself for having treated Emma badly, but he's casting about looking for someone in earnest to blame and Phil, the accused, fits the bill. Funny thing that ... last year, Max was imprisoned for the same thing of which Phil is accused now, and everyone on the Square believed his innocence. Did it ever occur to Max that Phil just might be set up as well? There's no one in Walford with a higher concept of family than Phil Mitchell, yet Max dismisses him as being capable of attempting to murder his pregnant cousin.
I truly don't think Max is Lucy's killer now, nor do I think it's Abi, and Abi spoke a lot of common sense tonight. Max shouldn't have spoken to Ben the way he did, and - yes - there is the possibility that Phil could be innocent. Oh, and yes, Max is selfish. (Pot, meet kettle; because the Brannings are the most self-absorbed and selfish family in Walford; Abi never imagined she could be describing herself as well). Lauren, on the other hand, is back on mature mode, horrified at Max drowning his sorrows in alcohol.
Mental Ben.
The Ben in this song was a rat. The Ben in this programme is also a rat.
When, exactly, did Phil complete this Power of Attorney form, and what was he thinking making Ben executor? Sharon is absolutely right. Ben has never had any business dealings in his life. In fact, it's laughable that they've re-written him this time around as having mechanical tendencies, because previously he was always depicted as a failure at all things automotive. Remember him stalling the car he and Jay (well, mostly Jay) had worked on, prompting him to call Marsden and accuse Phil of murdering Stella?
I wonder if this Ben still tap dances on the sly, still goes gaga over musicals or even remembers when he did Gaga?
(Shirley's face is a picture).
Sharon's treating Ben like a kid because that's what he is, and now he's got his hands on his old man's businesses, what does he think he can do? In fact, how can Sharon raise money on Phil'shouse when the house is in Phil's name? At least she could raise money on the pub as she's co-owner, but why is Ben wanting to see the books when he can't understand economics in general?
Something tells me Ben is going to make a monumental fuck-up, and Sharon will get him out of a jam. Jay's got him right - he's an entitled, little brooder. Ben is no big, tough Mitchell. That was established last time. What he is, however, is one sociopathic bully, and although he may not have killed Lucy, Ben certainly knows who did. Time for Phil, when he returns, and Sharon, to smack him down.
So Ritchie's all in it for the money, is she? I cannot believe that the hundred grand Ronnie stole, from three safes, is the sum total of the Mitchell fortunes. but then, EastEnders doesn't do maths well.
Observation:- Ronnie the sleeping ice princess with what appears to be a wand staved through the middle of her head. Maybe she'll wake up and confess to Lucy's killing. Of course, no one will believe her, as they think she'll be hallucinating, when she'll be telling the truth.
Another mediocre episode at best. But watchable.
This was, at best, a mediocre episode, its saving grace being one scene in particular.
But let's start with the short end of the stick, shall we? Because a lot of what we saw tonight was infuriatingly frustrating.
Two Bitches and a Busybody.
The Kat-Donna-Pam storyline tonight was one of the biggest pieces of tripe I've seen in recent times on EastEnders. It positively reeked of Newman. To think how brilliant the show has been in recent days, it's a bit shocking that it could revert so quickly to such mediocrity as we saw in this storyline tonight, and that's sad.
It's sad because once upon a time I really used to like Kat, and when she was introduced on the show, I thought Pam was really nice too. Now Kat is a spent character, all the moreso in her recent reincarnation as Kat Slater, or the once and future Kat Slutter; and Pam is an annoying and interfering busybody.
Here's the godawful truth about Kat: she never had any friends. Her dynamic, introduced by John Yorke, was the first incidence of the sibling-friend situation. Her sisters were her only mates. Alfie was, in fact, her best friend. But Kat is toxic when it comes to friend friends. She is the utmost worst influence on Stacey, who's come on in leaps and bounds as far as character development is concerned. Kat was the one who encouraged Stacey to break up a marriage simply because she could and because Kat convinced her that she was entitled to the one night stand who fathered a baby on her.
Her friendship with Kim consisted of nights on the tiles whilst Alfie sat at home and minded her son. She and Bianca bullied and terrorised the market inspectors, and her idea that she's entitled to work a pitch on a council-administere market without paying a pitch fee is absolute evidence of her entitlement mentality.
It's not rocket science to know what Kat's and Alfie's purported big storyline entails - the rearing of Uncle Harry's dead head to result in Kat in full "dirty girl" mode, only for Alfie to come in and pick up the pieces. Again. It's totally obvious that Dominic Treadwell-Collins has no interest in Alfie or Kat - otherwise, he wouldn't reprise a storyline that's been now thrice-turned. Maybe it's time for him to reach down his Y-fronts and call time on the characters.
Donna is this year's Adam Best. What is it with DTC and abysmally unpleasant disabled characters? I know disabled people are human and can be as nasty as the next person, but in her own way Donna is as despicable as Adam - a rude, unpleasant and cackling poisoned dwarf. Pam was right about one thing - neither Kat nor Donna have any friends, and that's not surprising, so it's obvious that the two bitches in question should find each other to join together in what they would call "banta" across the market, which literally means baiting and bullying Tamwar and anyone else they choose.
Pam has also stagnated. What initially came across as someone warm, concerned and engaging is now coming across as an inveterate busybody and gossip, intent on directing other people's purpose in life. Yes, I know she's compensating for her unseen grandson who's estranged from her, and she feels the guilt of having euthanised her son, but she was too eager to judge Alfie on the fire and too solicitous of news about the Carter debacle.
The silly storyline of the contrived friendship between Snow Off-White and the Poisoned Dwarf, aided and abetted by Malefacent Pam was just that: silly, shallow and pisspoor.
The Moons need to go at the end of this interminable storyline.
The Worst Kept Secret in Walford.
Let's take a head count on who know Nick's about:- Dot, Charlie, Ronnie, Yvonne, Carol, Ian, Phil, Sharon ... and now Fatboy.
Oh, add the police to that bunch, even though they don't know Nick's hiding out there, they now know he isn't dead.
When that many people know a secret, it isn't a secret anymore, so why doesn't Sharon just tell Roxy and Billy that Nick's around, that Ronnie stole Phil's money in order to pay Nick off to make him leave, which he has no intention of doing. Sharon wasn't around at that time in 2001 when Ashley Cotton got killed as a result of Nick trying and intending to kill Mark Fowler - in just the same way he tampered with the Audi this time - but Phil and Ian were, and someone should remember what Nick did and clue her in on such things.
I know Dot loves Nick unconditionally - she's a mother and she should - but watching her brazenly lie to the police about Nick was singularly uncomfortable. When Nick is found out, and he will be, she could be prosecuted. Dot's being bullied - openly by Yvonne, who's still fighting her conscience about what Nick's done, and passive-aggressively by both Nick and Charlie. More important, Dotknows Nick has form. She knows exactly what happened to Ashley and who was responsible for it, just as she knows who shopped Nick to the police and why she did it.
Did Nick even have to ask? He knew damned well this would be Sharon's retaliation after visiting the house.
The Cottons are a rogues' gallery, with Dot quavering and wavering in the middle. Oh my days! (as Fatboy would say), she's a church warden. When the truth is out, what will the Reverend Mr Stevens think? Dot's thrown her lot in with the sinners for her love of Nick (understandable), for her devotion to Charlie, whom she didn't know from Adam until recently and who's also involved with the armed robbery, amongst other things, and for her inimitable pride, which has always been Dot's downfall. She's got what she wanted now - not enough that she was loved and accepted by Jim's family, she had to have her own about her.
Remember her explanation to Cora on the eve of Heather's wedding about Jack? ~ He isn't mine.~
Well, now she's got hers around her and what a motley crew they are! A fugitive convict described as a dangerous man, a slightly batty woman who's just as much a grifter as the rest of them, and a bog cleaner with psychopathic tendencies.
On the subject of Charlie, tonight we saw Declan Bennett hit the wall of acting on the show. Sometimes, his performance tonight was cringeworthy. It seemed as if he were forcing his lines or that he didn't really believe in what he was performing. Charlie abandons his son, allegedly because he doesn't want his son associated with Nick in anyway, so he leaves him with Roxy? She's less than Mother of the Year. Let's hope she cares for the baby a bit better than she cares for herself. Her hair looked like it had been through a hedgerow tonight and she wore one of Worzel Gummidge's jumpers, cleverly designed to show her bra straps strategically.
Mitchell women are stubborn, says Aleks. They are also incredibly stupid and inattentive mothers. Let's not go on about Ronnie swanning about the Square on a cold December's day with a day-old infant or leaving him asleep in his basket whilst she moseyed on off to the lounge to sleep through the afternoon and awake near midnight to find him dead. Roxy fell asleep in the same room with Ronnie's baby, and Nick entered their house, as easy as lairy, and picked the "sprog" up.
Now Fatboy's involved in this increasingly complicated scenario, being sworn to secrecy by Dot doing her poor-pitiful-me routine. Sharon, don't worry about losing Dot's good opinion of you. She isn't deserving of you.
Out of the Mouths of Babes and Sucklings.
Max's Theme Song ...
A lot of the times lately, Jake Wood has been phoning it in, but there's no one who plays the seedy, self-pitying loser like Wood. He was at his forte tonight, especially in the scene with the divind Lindsay Coulson. I love it when Carol rallies around her family, and quite honestly, since Bianca and her brood scurried, she's been due for some clucking about as a mother hen.
It was Carol who stepped up to the plate for Max when Bradley died, Carol who took care of Jack when he found out about James, and it's Carol who steps into the breach again, sometimes to Max's annoyance.
Max is sick of the Lucy Beale investigation, but not because he's the killer. He's feeling guilty because he blames himself for having treated Emma badly, but he's casting about looking for someone in earnest to blame and Phil, the accused, fits the bill. Funny thing that ... last year, Max was imprisoned for the same thing of which Phil is accused now, and everyone on the Square believed his innocence. Did it ever occur to Max that Phil just might be set up as well? There's no one in Walford with a higher concept of family than Phil Mitchell, yet Max dismisses him as being capable of attempting to murder his pregnant cousin.
I truly don't think Max is Lucy's killer now, nor do I think it's Abi, and Abi spoke a lot of common sense tonight. Max shouldn't have spoken to Ben the way he did, and - yes - there is the possibility that Phil could be innocent. Oh, and yes, Max is selfish. (Pot, meet kettle; because the Brannings are the most self-absorbed and selfish family in Walford; Abi never imagined she could be describing herself as well). Lauren, on the other hand, is back on mature mode, horrified at Max drowning his sorrows in alcohol.
Mental Ben.
The Ben in this song was a rat. The Ben in this programme is also a rat.
When, exactly, did Phil complete this Power of Attorney form, and what was he thinking making Ben executor? Sharon is absolutely right. Ben has never had any business dealings in his life. In fact, it's laughable that they've re-written him this time around as having mechanical tendencies, because previously he was always depicted as a failure at all things automotive. Remember him stalling the car he and Jay (well, mostly Jay) had worked on, prompting him to call Marsden and accuse Phil of murdering Stella?
I wonder if this Ben still tap dances on the sly, still goes gaga over musicals or even remembers when he did Gaga?
(Shirley's face is a picture).
Sharon's treating Ben like a kid because that's what he is, and now he's got his hands on his old man's businesses, what does he think he can do? In fact, how can Sharon raise money on Phil'shouse when the house is in Phil's name? At least she could raise money on the pub as she's co-owner, but why is Ben wanting to see the books when he can't understand economics in general?
Something tells me Ben is going to make a monumental fuck-up, and Sharon will get him out of a jam. Jay's got him right - he's an entitled, little brooder. Ben is no big, tough Mitchell. That was established last time. What he is, however, is one sociopathic bully, and although he may not have killed Lucy, Ben certainly knows who did. Time for Phil, when he returns, and Sharon, to smack him down.
So Ritchie's all in it for the money, is she? I cannot believe that the hundred grand Ronnie stole, from three safes, is the sum total of the Mitchell fortunes. but then, EastEnders doesn't do maths well.
Observation:- Ronnie the sleeping ice princess with what appears to be a wand staved through the middle of her head. Maybe she'll wake up and confess to Lucy's killing. Of course, no one will believe her, as they think she'll be hallucinating, when she'll be telling the truth.
Another mediocre episode at best. But watchable.
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