I'm worried about EastEnders, the same way I was worried about Brookside. I was sick on Monday evening, so sick I couldn't even think about watching anything on television, just lying in bed with a hot water bottle. But I realised something this evening, today ... I didn't miss EastEnders at all. Even to the point that I debated whether or not it was worth my while watching Monday's programme; but I'm a creature of habit, so I did, and that meant writing what I thought about it.
And I thought ... there wasn't much there. Just bits of various examples of community spirit or, rather, how the community is dysfunctional. It dawned on me one of the reasons why the show isn't working anymore. Most of the characters are cartoons, caricatures. The soap genre has always drawn on OTT acting styles, camp in certain instances; that's part of its make-up. But it's troubling when you can identify almost every character as a type, or you find that they're actually looking the part they're playing before they open their mouths. There's no inference anymore, and precious little nuance.
Rebecca's the shy, plain girl with no common sense and low self-esteem. I knew a girl years ago when I was in high school. She sat behind me in Shakespeare class - small, mousy, plain, she even hunched her shoulders like Rebecca does. No one ever knew her to have a boyfriend, and she always wore baggy men's shirts over her jeans. Imagine our surprise when, returning from Christmas break, we found out she'd had a baby during the past fortnight. Rebecca reminds me of her.
Denise is "Angry in Tunbridge Wells" - at least, that's one of her many incarnations. She's always been angry, and ungracious, and ungrateful and generally rude - except now it's all the more evident and emphasized. The unlikely friendship of Jane and Stacey, as they turn into the two gossiping yet counselling matriarchs of the Square by dint of being married to the two scions of the two most prominent families in Walford is glaringly obvious. Even Max looks like the sly, shifty melodrama villain as he plots his way to the Square's destruction, if we ever get to know what that plan is. The awful schoolkids are cartoons, even attitudes - such as misogyny - are treated as norms.
But the worst thing about it is that all of this attitude is played out against circular storylines or storylines that are so awful, that you wish a plague of locusts would descend on the characters and eat them alive.
It's painful to watch. It makes me angry. Brookside was once my favourite soap, and I loathed the assholes who destroyed it and turned it into a parody. I'm beginning to feel the same way about EastEnders.
Oh, and the reason I'm worried? I didn't miss watching the show last night at all. In fact, during the day, I knew I'd have to watch it, out of sheer habit; and I didn't like that feeling in the least.
The Double-Edged Sword of Deceit: Michelle and Rebecca. This so-called love triangle is seriously sick, but even so, it's the most interesting thing to watch on the programme at the moment. It's like rubber-necking a seriously gruesome traffic accident or watching grisly blood'n guts horror film. You cover your eyes, but you just have to peek through your fingers to find out what happens next.
The conversation near the end of the episode between Michelle and Rebecca was probably the highlight of a decidedly lowlight programme. It harkened back to the days when EastEnders was big on nuance, and the original Michelle, played by Susan Tully, was, at once, probably the most nuanced and complicated character on the show until Phil Mitchell arrived (that is, until John Yorke fucked him over). I think this was a stab by TPTB at trying to get Jenna Russell to channel original Michelle.
The real Michelle (because Russell can never be the real deal) is someone who was infinitely capable of doing horrific things that imploded upon the people she loved most - her parents, Sharon - but at the end of the day, she had a way of sticking by them, a unique loyalty that made even those she hurt the most realise just how important she was to them; and in the end, the audience rose to her. Oh, there were times when you could actively dislike her for the cow she was, but somehow, you were always brought around to her point of view. To a great extent, Peggy Mitchell was like that too.
But this woman comes off as nothing of the sort. From the very beginning of the episode when she pathetically admits to the manipulative Preston that she was jealous of his having slept with Rebecca, we could view this discussion between Michelle and Rebecca at the end of their segment for what it was - a double-edged sword of deceit. Rebecca, still naive and essentially innocent, even after having been taken advantage of by two boys, sexually, approaches Michelle sincerely and with an honest desire to talk about what's troubling her.
Her questions are, genuinely, those of a sixteen year-old girl, who's precipitously slept with someone she barely knew and now wants to find out where the land lies in that circumstance. She simply wants to know if Preston's said anything about her during the weekend, but she also confesses to the gossip that's circulating the school about her having slept with what is described as "a random American."
This writing room, under O'Connor, is good with continuity, as opposed to their stint under Treadwell-Collins's watch, when they had to re-write virtually every main character's history to support whatever sensationalist storyline in which they were involved. And so, we had an oblique reference to Den and how Michelle had to face down the gossips when she was pregnant at Rebecca's age. All Rebecca was concerned with, hearing that tale, was how Michelle could have coupled with someone so much older; and, tellingly, Michelle remarks that when you love someone, really, age doesn't come into it.
That was kinda creepy, especially when you think about her relationship with Prestion, which I'll discuss in a moment, but the allusion was there in the remark. She obviously had an agenda, upon hearing Rebecca's original question, because she immediately started pushing Shakil as the "nice guy" on whom Rebecca should be concentrating. It was interesting to note Rebecca's actual real remark about her reputation, saying that had she been a boy, no one would be batting an eyelid at her actions.
This is true. The old double standard still holds true, but whilst Michelle's remark about having sex and enjoying having sex was all right for women in general, it wasn't the remark to be making to Rebecca at this time and place. She's been silly. On two occasions, she's been manipulated into going to bed with boys on the cusp of being men, who wanted to bed her for various reasons, and neither of those reasons had anything to do with love - one was for sheer horniness and the other was a revenge tactic. On the other hand, that remark, made by Michelle, was some sort of self-justification for her relationship with Preston, which, in and of itself, becomes sicker with every episode.
In an indirect sideswipe of Rebecca's original question, Michelle basically tells her she'd be better off tending to her schoolwork, rather than thinking about boys the way Michelle had. Hang on ... Michelle didn't think about boys, she thought about men. Much older men (Den, horny Geoff), sometimes married men (the computer repairman) and her best friend's ex-husband, who was still infatuated with Sharon. In fact, for the better part of Michelle's youth, she spent most of her time, fighting to get what she wanted; and when she ultimately got it, she threw it away with one moment of madness.
When Rebecca finally demanded an answer to her question, Michelle told her the truth - what Preston said - that sleeping with Rebecca was "just a bit of fun", that he did it because she was "there." Callous and truthful, yes; and maybe Rebecca needed to hear that, especially after she mooted the idea of talking to Preston, to see if they had the chance of having a relationship together, when it's obvious that they don't. So Michelle was being brutally honest with her niece to dispel any illusions the silly girl might cherish from this encounter; however, she was also looking after her own interests. After all, she'd told Preston at the very start of the episode that she was jealous of the fact that he'd slept with Rebecca, just as she was jealous of the spectacle he put on for her benefit in the kitchen that morning, clad only in boxer shorts and a tank top in front of Louise and Snaggle Head and Sniggle, in all his glory.
He was teaching Michelle a further lesson, after preying on what he knew was her jealousy at having discovered him with Rebecca, on Friday, when she gave into that jealousy to sleep with the scrote. He was taunting her with how easily he could attract someone younger - a choice of three, no less; and Michelle fell for it.
She's a weak and pathetic woman. Maybe this comes from having spent so much time in the company of older men in her youth that she now craves something she's lost forever. I don't think she loves Preston; she loves the idea and she's blinded by the compliment of someone younger paying sick court to her and calling her "his girl." I don't think somehow he'd be calling her that in twenty years' time when she's pushing seventy, using her bus pass, moving stiffly with arthritis and literally looking her age, whilst he's still a young thirty-seven.
I don't know what his game is. Maybe he was flattered by the attention of an older woman; but I don't think he loves her. It would be interesting to know what sort of relationship he had with his parents, because at times, he sounds like a recalcitrant child demanding petulantly that a parent let him have his way - demanding money from Michelle to return home, flouncing out of the room every time she denies some sort of request. The truth is she wants him to leave because as long as he's within spitting distance, she's going to give into his demands. He's too young and too self-absorbed to understand what she had to sacrifice for having been stupid enough to have sex with a minor. At last, someone, Pete Lawson, no less, actually had Michelle utter the line that she'd committed a serious crime, and she could have gone to prison. (*Reality check: this is utter fiction that this woman is even sitting on that sofa in another country talking to the minor she, in legal terms, raped. She would actually be in prison now, and his parents would be suing the school system for negligence in allowing such a person to groom and target their child. No matter if Preston actually initiated affections, Michelle was the adult; and the responsiblity lies with her).
The sheer stupidity of this boy is rank - even thinking about getting a job in this country, when he has no qualifications and cannot legally stay. Getting a visa? How? Impossible. Besides, where the hell are his parents? He's probably left the country without their consent and probably took money from them under false pretences to make the trip. The authorities should be after his Russian-sounding ass. And there's Martin, being stupid enough to allow him to work on the stall. Michelle was right there - what if Carmel or someone else from the council asked to see his work permit - because Martin is paying him. This could not only impede upon Martin, but also upon Ian Beale because Ian owns the fruit and veg stall.
There was another double-edged observation from Michelle to Rebecca as well, when Michelle told Rebecca that Preston working with Martin was meant as a ploy to taunt Rebecca. He wanted her to see him, knowing that all he had to do was open his mouth to Martin, and Martin would know the score about Rebecca. Maybe, too, this was a vocalised fear on Michelle's part because he could also open his mouth to Martin about Michelle as well. Her remark to Preston about losing her family in the US because of him was enough - Martin and Rebecca are all she has left in Walford, and she doesn't want to lose them as well. Preston knows this, and he's not above using this as a veiled threat in order to get his way.
Do I feel sorry for this woman? No. She made her bed hard, now she has to lie in it. After awhile, it just gets tiresome to watch someone stick around day after day - when is his original return flight booked? Why aren't his parents going beserk and getting the police to liaise with authorities here to get his arse home? This is just turning into a sick situation.
As for the teens involved in all of this, less of this dynamic, please. I'm beginning to wonder if Louise is a wimp. She was feisty enough until recently in the programme, and when she's in the company of Snaggle Head and Sniggle, she morphs into a female version of Shakil, standing around and saying nothing when the other two go off on a tangent about Rebecca.
I don't know why these two dislike her so much, but as EastEnders is not becoming the place to be for misogyny, I wondered how long it would be before we saw it at the hand of women, themselves. Believe me, there are no greater misogynists than our sisters in gender. And tonight we saw Sniggle looks-shaming Rebecca, referring to her as ugly, when Sniggle isn't anything to write home about as well. She and Snaggle Head are cartoons in bitchery, exaggerated bitchery, bragging to Shakil about Rebecca's "random American" when they'd be like bitches on a heat race with their knickers - one Yank and they're off.
But Louise just stands around and says nothing, during all of this, looking gormless. She's got character enough to call the other two out for their idiocy. She's supposed to be a Mitchell, FFS! (Ironic remark she made to Michelle about Michelle not being her mother - where is Lisa, who doesn't even get a mention these days?) Louise is all right about approaching Rebecca when Sniggle and Snaggle aren't around, but she clams up from fear when they approach. Some friend.
The Mouths. I've lost track of the number of storylines Denise has in the offing at the moment. Let's see ... there's the baby storyline, the non-sister relationship with Kim, there was the smack with Keegan the Scrote, and now there's the repercussions after that.
Denise has always had a big mouth and the propensity to speak before she thought. I'm surprised nothing more has come from it thus far. She's rarely apologetic, she's ungrateful, she's got a huge ego and sense of entitlement, and she's bloody rude.
So much for the elevated ideas about her station because she's read a few books in a GCSE course and fancies the teacher. She got played tonight by a pro - the newspaper. Of course the reporter was going to report facts ... and bend them to the slant of the story. He didn't deal in fake news, or alternative facts. He stated what Denise actually said and did, and there was no argument with what was printed - except by Denise.
As Carmel said, she did hit a kid, and she fully admitted to branding the Minute Mart, her bread and butter, as a concern which rips off local people. What astounded me was her utter arrogance in thinking that neither the district manager nor anyone in positions of authority would see this piece, and if they did, they simply wouldn't care.
Is she seriously stupid, or does she think that her shit doesn't smell? These people think about profits, and the last thing any company needs is an employee who slags off the outfit to the public.
Denise objects to the term "shopgirl"? Well, yes, that's archaic, and more than a bit sexist (another EastEnders' stab at misogyny). The proper term would be "shopworker" or "retail worker" - and, I'm sorry, but that is what she is, until she lands qualifications which lead to something better.
Even Donna, who's been known to be more than a tad insulting on occasion, was telling her to rein her rants in a bit. And she's still going on, making insinuations about Shakil in front of Carmel, and expecting Carmel to take it -w which, actually, she does and with aplomb. Imagine Carmel having a rant about youth and making insinuations to Denise's face about Libby or Chelsea? Denise's reaction doesn't bear thinking about.
Of course, we had to have a confrontation with the other mouth, Keegan. I deeply dislike this character, but I've noticed that he seems only to target women and girls for his particular hatred. He was intent on humiliating Louise for some unknown reason - and Sniggle and Snaggle are still cruelly intimidating her over the catfish incident and her escapade on the bus when it crashed; he's now trying to intimidate Denise, who gives as good as she gets; but it's obvious that he's trying to goad her into a confrontation again, which would ultimately end in her swatting him. This little arsehole knows how to play the system. Another smack from Denise, and she'd get custodial time.
The actor is bad. I especially hate the way he snorts like a bull to indicate anger. I hope his stay is short-lived. He's not even a character you'd like to hate. He cowered when Kush appeared - funny, how a smack from Denise would mean a call to the police, but a clout from Kush would have been humiliating in the extreme. I wonder if the teacher he glassed at his former school was a woman?
Like Kush said, Denise has to learn to keep her big gob shut, but in the end, we see that TPTB at The Minute Mart have gotten wind of her little bit of adverse publicity. She wants to remember that she's lucky even to have a job in that place again, after the shenanigans she got up to before.
There was irony at play in this sequence with Kush's advice to the gormless and mostly-silent Shakil - who's coming across as the most likable in a largely loathsome group of teenagers, mostly played by adults.
That's not the way you treat women.
Really, Kush? What about the way you treated Shabnam? Or Stacey? Or the myriad of faceless women you chatted up, bedded and then binned, using your dead wife as a chat-up line? What about Nancy Carter? I suppose having a long stint standing around on the market in the background has given you time to think.
Shakil is conflicted, and he's probably typical, not only of most adolescent males, but most males in general and their attitudes to women and sex. Shakil likes Rebecca, but the main reason he was interested in her was the fact that he was horny, and he wanted sex and afterwards, casual sex. She was silly enough at sixteen, to think this was the relationship to end all relationships. Whether she dumped him or he dumped her is a moot point. She allowed herself to be manipulated by Louise, and subsequently, by Sniggle and Snaggle, by Louise tricking her into sending Shakil's naughty pictures to everyone in school. It's difficult to gauge Shakil because he says so little - possibly because when he speaks, no one can understand him. He still likes Louise, but he won't talk to her because of masculine pride and because she always seems to be surrounded by manipulating and mean females, and also because as much as he's told by Kush to talk to Rebecca, he doesn't know how to do so.
And now, he's tagging along after Keegan, looking uncomfortable every time Keegan taunts and verbally flagellates another female. Not offering any defence of Louise, standing by dumbly and tacitly accepting corporate responsibility for taunting Denise, and receiving the blame for as much.
Now, he seems affronted that Rebecca has slept with another boy, an American boy, at that. Had he done the same, moved on and slept with another girl, Rebecca would have been hurt, and he wouldn't have cared. No one would have cared except her and her friends. This is what boys do, after all; but woe betide a woman who does the same. It's as true in adult relationships as it is in adolescence. The hateful girls are slut-shaming Rebecca, when they are, in fact, lusting after having sex with Preston, and because they can't, they make damned sure that Shakil knows about this, and they go out of their way to infer that this was a conscious choice because maybe - just maybe - Shakil didn't rate up to much in bed.
So he sulks, he feigns indifference when she tries to speak to him, but he's having second thoughts and is on the cusp of making contact with her again, when Keegan comes along to drop poison in his ear. Seeing Rebecca leave the house where Preston lives, ne'mind the fact that her aunt also lives there and she just may have been visiting her, Keegan determines that she deserves some sort of vile punishment for dumping Shakil and rubbing his nose in it.
You wonder where all the misogynistic hatred comes from in this character, but you really don't want to know, because that would mean a continuance of his vile character.
Massaging Egos. So Ian doesn't want to get his test results? Whoda thunk that? This is another overused staple in EastEnders - Carol, Tanya, even Mark Fowler played the denial card when confronted with major health issues.
The friendship of the moment happens to be the unlikely friendship between Jane and Stacey. This is unusual because of the situation with Bobby and how the Beales set Max up to be carted off to prison. However, Stacey, a murderer, herself, is in no position to judge, and the Beales are family twofold. Ian is Martin's cousin, and by marriage, also Stacey's cousin. Lauren was once her sister-in-law and is now her friend. They are both young mothers with children. So I suppose there is a natural affinity, the two of them being married to Lou's grandsons.
As much as I'm uneasy with the free ride the Beales have been given in relation to avoiding prison punishment for harbouring Bobby, I can accept that they've been dealt karma of a different sort with Jane confined to a wheelchair and now something about to happen in relation to Ian's health.
It was clever, however, the way they tied this in with Dot's self-imposed isolation, which was typical Dot and also a typically stupid diva-ish thing to do. Dot is elderly, and with Abi away for the weekend, anything could have happened to her alone and on her own in the house. Watching Dot feel sorry for herself as Jack and then Stacey and Jane pommeled her doors and windows.
Jane thought fast enough to alert Dot to Ian's health issues and we got what amounted to yet another journey in continuity through the Beale-Fowler male medical history line - how Pete died young from a car crash, how Arthur had a brain hemorrhage and never went to doctors (no blood kin), and finally, how grandad Albert died all too young. Throw in Jim's stroke and Ian's already beginning to sweat and think about his coffin.
The Good Wife. Notice how subtly Whitney has moved into wife mode - specifically, Mick's wife. She's the one who sorts some of Mick's financial woes by halving his 20k fine for breaking licencing laws. The fine was actually 10k apiece for both Mick and Babe - except, no one's seen or heard from Babe since she uttered a curse on the Vic. Why, one would almost think that Babe was behind all the bad luck that's been heaped on the Vic. Whitney points out that Babe needs to be found, and Mick toddles off to the Vic to report her disappearance. The police put out a bulletin for her arrest.
Mick's attitude toward Whitney is ever-so-slightly changing with the departure of Lee and in Linda's absence. He's openly calling her "babe" now. And when Whitney says she's going to visit Lily, he again calls her "babe" and declares he'll walk her over. They have the mien and demeanor together of a couple, not someone who should have a fatherly interest in someone who's still, effectively, married to his son.
In fact, when they run into Jack and Mick, confident that Jack was still going to loan him the money needed to fix the Vic, with the workmen carrying on and expecting to be paid at the end of the week, has the brass to remind Jack of the loan, which makes for an uncomfortable moment - because Jack was just on his way to tell Mick that the loan wasn't going to be a loan anymore. He had a lot of valid reasons - Dot's accident means he's going to have to pay for health care (not that Jack's short a few bob) etc - all the while with Max standing near, making quasi-inaudible remarks about the state of play in Jack's life - he's just lost his wife, he has to find child care, he doesn't need this extra expense - and all the time, Mick is cringeing with embarrassment at having to beg, whist Whitney the new Non-Wife, openly begs, even offering to look after Jack's children, anything, anything to help Mick. Anything.
The two traipsed off from the pub and left a hungover Johnny to deal with the workmen, having partied all weekend at Ben's and Jay's housewarming party, which is what students do. How long before something happens between Mick and Whitney and how long before Johnny finds out?
And I thought ... there wasn't much there. Just bits of various examples of community spirit or, rather, how the community is dysfunctional. It dawned on me one of the reasons why the show isn't working anymore. Most of the characters are cartoons, caricatures. The soap genre has always drawn on OTT acting styles, camp in certain instances; that's part of its make-up. But it's troubling when you can identify almost every character as a type, or you find that they're actually looking the part they're playing before they open their mouths. There's no inference anymore, and precious little nuance.
Rebecca's the shy, plain girl with no common sense and low self-esteem. I knew a girl years ago when I was in high school. She sat behind me in Shakespeare class - small, mousy, plain, she even hunched her shoulders like Rebecca does. No one ever knew her to have a boyfriend, and she always wore baggy men's shirts over her jeans. Imagine our surprise when, returning from Christmas break, we found out she'd had a baby during the past fortnight. Rebecca reminds me of her.
Denise is "Angry in Tunbridge Wells" - at least, that's one of her many incarnations. She's always been angry, and ungracious, and ungrateful and generally rude - except now it's all the more evident and emphasized. The unlikely friendship of Jane and Stacey, as they turn into the two gossiping yet counselling matriarchs of the Square by dint of being married to the two scions of the two most prominent families in Walford is glaringly obvious. Even Max looks like the sly, shifty melodrama villain as he plots his way to the Square's destruction, if we ever get to know what that plan is. The awful schoolkids are cartoons, even attitudes - such as misogyny - are treated as norms.
But the worst thing about it is that all of this attitude is played out against circular storylines or storylines that are so awful, that you wish a plague of locusts would descend on the characters and eat them alive.
It's painful to watch. It makes me angry. Brookside was once my favourite soap, and I loathed the assholes who destroyed it and turned it into a parody. I'm beginning to feel the same way about EastEnders.
Oh, and the reason I'm worried? I didn't miss watching the show last night at all. In fact, during the day, I knew I'd have to watch it, out of sheer habit; and I didn't like that feeling in the least.
The Double-Edged Sword of Deceit: Michelle and Rebecca. This so-called love triangle is seriously sick, but even so, it's the most interesting thing to watch on the programme at the moment. It's like rubber-necking a seriously gruesome traffic accident or watching grisly blood'n guts horror film. You cover your eyes, but you just have to peek through your fingers to find out what happens next.
The conversation near the end of the episode between Michelle and Rebecca was probably the highlight of a decidedly lowlight programme. It harkened back to the days when EastEnders was big on nuance, and the original Michelle, played by Susan Tully, was, at once, probably the most nuanced and complicated character on the show until Phil Mitchell arrived (that is, until John Yorke fucked him over). I think this was a stab by TPTB at trying to get Jenna Russell to channel original Michelle.
The real Michelle (because Russell can never be the real deal) is someone who was infinitely capable of doing horrific things that imploded upon the people she loved most - her parents, Sharon - but at the end of the day, she had a way of sticking by them, a unique loyalty that made even those she hurt the most realise just how important she was to them; and in the end, the audience rose to her. Oh, there were times when you could actively dislike her for the cow she was, but somehow, you were always brought around to her point of view. To a great extent, Peggy Mitchell was like that too.
But this woman comes off as nothing of the sort. From the very beginning of the episode when she pathetically admits to the manipulative Preston that she was jealous of his having slept with Rebecca, we could view this discussion between Michelle and Rebecca at the end of their segment for what it was - a double-edged sword of deceit. Rebecca, still naive and essentially innocent, even after having been taken advantage of by two boys, sexually, approaches Michelle sincerely and with an honest desire to talk about what's troubling her.
Her questions are, genuinely, those of a sixteen year-old girl, who's precipitously slept with someone she barely knew and now wants to find out where the land lies in that circumstance. She simply wants to know if Preston's said anything about her during the weekend, but she also confesses to the gossip that's circulating the school about her having slept with what is described as "a random American."
This writing room, under O'Connor, is good with continuity, as opposed to their stint under Treadwell-Collins's watch, when they had to re-write virtually every main character's history to support whatever sensationalist storyline in which they were involved. And so, we had an oblique reference to Den and how Michelle had to face down the gossips when she was pregnant at Rebecca's age. All Rebecca was concerned with, hearing that tale, was how Michelle could have coupled with someone so much older; and, tellingly, Michelle remarks that when you love someone, really, age doesn't come into it.
That was kinda creepy, especially when you think about her relationship with Prestion, which I'll discuss in a moment, but the allusion was there in the remark. She obviously had an agenda, upon hearing Rebecca's original question, because she immediately started pushing Shakil as the "nice guy" on whom Rebecca should be concentrating. It was interesting to note Rebecca's actual real remark about her reputation, saying that had she been a boy, no one would be batting an eyelid at her actions.
This is true. The old double standard still holds true, but whilst Michelle's remark about having sex and enjoying having sex was all right for women in general, it wasn't the remark to be making to Rebecca at this time and place. She's been silly. On two occasions, she's been manipulated into going to bed with boys on the cusp of being men, who wanted to bed her for various reasons, and neither of those reasons had anything to do with love - one was for sheer horniness and the other was a revenge tactic. On the other hand, that remark, made by Michelle, was some sort of self-justification for her relationship with Preston, which, in and of itself, becomes sicker with every episode.
In an indirect sideswipe of Rebecca's original question, Michelle basically tells her she'd be better off tending to her schoolwork, rather than thinking about boys the way Michelle had. Hang on ... Michelle didn't think about boys, she thought about men. Much older men (Den, horny Geoff), sometimes married men (the computer repairman) and her best friend's ex-husband, who was still infatuated with Sharon. In fact, for the better part of Michelle's youth, she spent most of her time, fighting to get what she wanted; and when she ultimately got it, she threw it away with one moment of madness.
When Rebecca finally demanded an answer to her question, Michelle told her the truth - what Preston said - that sleeping with Rebecca was "just a bit of fun", that he did it because she was "there." Callous and truthful, yes; and maybe Rebecca needed to hear that, especially after she mooted the idea of talking to Preston, to see if they had the chance of having a relationship together, when it's obvious that they don't. So Michelle was being brutally honest with her niece to dispel any illusions the silly girl might cherish from this encounter; however, she was also looking after her own interests. After all, she'd told Preston at the very start of the episode that she was jealous of the fact that he'd slept with Rebecca, just as she was jealous of the spectacle he put on for her benefit in the kitchen that morning, clad only in boxer shorts and a tank top in front of Louise and Snaggle Head and Sniggle, in all his glory.
He was teaching Michelle a further lesson, after preying on what he knew was her jealousy at having discovered him with Rebecca, on Friday, when she gave into that jealousy to sleep with the scrote. He was taunting her with how easily he could attract someone younger - a choice of three, no less; and Michelle fell for it.
She's a weak and pathetic woman. Maybe this comes from having spent so much time in the company of older men in her youth that she now craves something she's lost forever. I don't think she loves Preston; she loves the idea and she's blinded by the compliment of someone younger paying sick court to her and calling her "his girl." I don't think somehow he'd be calling her that in twenty years' time when she's pushing seventy, using her bus pass, moving stiffly with arthritis and literally looking her age, whilst he's still a young thirty-seven.
I don't know what his game is. Maybe he was flattered by the attention of an older woman; but I don't think he loves her. It would be interesting to know what sort of relationship he had with his parents, because at times, he sounds like a recalcitrant child demanding petulantly that a parent let him have his way - demanding money from Michelle to return home, flouncing out of the room every time she denies some sort of request. The truth is she wants him to leave because as long as he's within spitting distance, she's going to give into his demands. He's too young and too self-absorbed to understand what she had to sacrifice for having been stupid enough to have sex with a minor. At last, someone, Pete Lawson, no less, actually had Michelle utter the line that she'd committed a serious crime, and she could have gone to prison. (*Reality check: this is utter fiction that this woman is even sitting on that sofa in another country talking to the minor she, in legal terms, raped. She would actually be in prison now, and his parents would be suing the school system for negligence in allowing such a person to groom and target their child. No matter if Preston actually initiated affections, Michelle was the adult; and the responsiblity lies with her).
The sheer stupidity of this boy is rank - even thinking about getting a job in this country, when he has no qualifications and cannot legally stay. Getting a visa? How? Impossible. Besides, where the hell are his parents? He's probably left the country without their consent and probably took money from them under false pretences to make the trip. The authorities should be after his Russian-sounding ass. And there's Martin, being stupid enough to allow him to work on the stall. Michelle was right there - what if Carmel or someone else from the council asked to see his work permit - because Martin is paying him. This could not only impede upon Martin, but also upon Ian Beale because Ian owns the fruit and veg stall.
There was another double-edged observation from Michelle to Rebecca as well, when Michelle told Rebecca that Preston working with Martin was meant as a ploy to taunt Rebecca. He wanted her to see him, knowing that all he had to do was open his mouth to Martin, and Martin would know the score about Rebecca. Maybe, too, this was a vocalised fear on Michelle's part because he could also open his mouth to Martin about Michelle as well. Her remark to Preston about losing her family in the US because of him was enough - Martin and Rebecca are all she has left in Walford, and she doesn't want to lose them as well. Preston knows this, and he's not above using this as a veiled threat in order to get his way.
Do I feel sorry for this woman? No. She made her bed hard, now she has to lie in it. After awhile, it just gets tiresome to watch someone stick around day after day - when is his original return flight booked? Why aren't his parents going beserk and getting the police to liaise with authorities here to get his arse home? This is just turning into a sick situation.
As for the teens involved in all of this, less of this dynamic, please. I'm beginning to wonder if Louise is a wimp. She was feisty enough until recently in the programme, and when she's in the company of Snaggle Head and Sniggle, she morphs into a female version of Shakil, standing around and saying nothing when the other two go off on a tangent about Rebecca.
I don't know why these two dislike her so much, but as EastEnders is not becoming the place to be for misogyny, I wondered how long it would be before we saw it at the hand of women, themselves. Believe me, there are no greater misogynists than our sisters in gender. And tonight we saw Sniggle looks-shaming Rebecca, referring to her as ugly, when Sniggle isn't anything to write home about as well. She and Snaggle Head are cartoons in bitchery, exaggerated bitchery, bragging to Shakil about Rebecca's "random American" when they'd be like bitches on a heat race with their knickers - one Yank and they're off.
But Louise just stands around and says nothing, during all of this, looking gormless. She's got character enough to call the other two out for their idiocy. She's supposed to be a Mitchell, FFS! (Ironic remark she made to Michelle about Michelle not being her mother - where is Lisa, who doesn't even get a mention these days?) Louise is all right about approaching Rebecca when Sniggle and Snaggle aren't around, but she clams up from fear when they approach. Some friend.
The Mouths. I've lost track of the number of storylines Denise has in the offing at the moment. Let's see ... there's the baby storyline, the non-sister relationship with Kim, there was the smack with Keegan the Scrote, and now there's the repercussions after that.
Denise has always had a big mouth and the propensity to speak before she thought. I'm surprised nothing more has come from it thus far. She's rarely apologetic, she's ungrateful, she's got a huge ego and sense of entitlement, and she's bloody rude.
So much for the elevated ideas about her station because she's read a few books in a GCSE course and fancies the teacher. She got played tonight by a pro - the newspaper. Of course the reporter was going to report facts ... and bend them to the slant of the story. He didn't deal in fake news, or alternative facts. He stated what Denise actually said and did, and there was no argument with what was printed - except by Denise.
As Carmel said, she did hit a kid, and she fully admitted to branding the Minute Mart, her bread and butter, as a concern which rips off local people. What astounded me was her utter arrogance in thinking that neither the district manager nor anyone in positions of authority would see this piece, and if they did, they simply wouldn't care.
Is she seriously stupid, or does she think that her shit doesn't smell? These people think about profits, and the last thing any company needs is an employee who slags off the outfit to the public.
Denise objects to the term "shopgirl"? Well, yes, that's archaic, and more than a bit sexist (another EastEnders' stab at misogyny). The proper term would be "shopworker" or "retail worker" - and, I'm sorry, but that is what she is, until she lands qualifications which lead to something better.
Even Donna, who's been known to be more than a tad insulting on occasion, was telling her to rein her rants in a bit. And she's still going on, making insinuations about Shakil in front of Carmel, and expecting Carmel to take it -w which, actually, she does and with aplomb. Imagine Carmel having a rant about youth and making insinuations to Denise's face about Libby or Chelsea? Denise's reaction doesn't bear thinking about.
Of course, we had to have a confrontation with the other mouth, Keegan. I deeply dislike this character, but I've noticed that he seems only to target women and girls for his particular hatred. He was intent on humiliating Louise for some unknown reason - and Sniggle and Snaggle are still cruelly intimidating her over the catfish incident and her escapade on the bus when it crashed; he's now trying to intimidate Denise, who gives as good as she gets; but it's obvious that he's trying to goad her into a confrontation again, which would ultimately end in her swatting him. This little arsehole knows how to play the system. Another smack from Denise, and she'd get custodial time.
The actor is bad. I especially hate the way he snorts like a bull to indicate anger. I hope his stay is short-lived. He's not even a character you'd like to hate. He cowered when Kush appeared - funny, how a smack from Denise would mean a call to the police, but a clout from Kush would have been humiliating in the extreme. I wonder if the teacher he glassed at his former school was a woman?
Like Kush said, Denise has to learn to keep her big gob shut, but in the end, we see that TPTB at The Minute Mart have gotten wind of her little bit of adverse publicity. She wants to remember that she's lucky even to have a job in that place again, after the shenanigans she got up to before.
There was irony at play in this sequence with Kush's advice to the gormless and mostly-silent Shakil - who's coming across as the most likable in a largely loathsome group of teenagers, mostly played by adults.
That's not the way you treat women.
Really, Kush? What about the way you treated Shabnam? Or Stacey? Or the myriad of faceless women you chatted up, bedded and then binned, using your dead wife as a chat-up line? What about Nancy Carter? I suppose having a long stint standing around on the market in the background has given you time to think.
Shakil is conflicted, and he's probably typical, not only of most adolescent males, but most males in general and their attitudes to women and sex. Shakil likes Rebecca, but the main reason he was interested in her was the fact that he was horny, and he wanted sex and afterwards, casual sex. She was silly enough at sixteen, to think this was the relationship to end all relationships. Whether she dumped him or he dumped her is a moot point. She allowed herself to be manipulated by Louise, and subsequently, by Sniggle and Snaggle, by Louise tricking her into sending Shakil's naughty pictures to everyone in school. It's difficult to gauge Shakil because he says so little - possibly because when he speaks, no one can understand him. He still likes Louise, but he won't talk to her because of masculine pride and because she always seems to be surrounded by manipulating and mean females, and also because as much as he's told by Kush to talk to Rebecca, he doesn't know how to do so.
And now, he's tagging along after Keegan, looking uncomfortable every time Keegan taunts and verbally flagellates another female. Not offering any defence of Louise, standing by dumbly and tacitly accepting corporate responsibility for taunting Denise, and receiving the blame for as much.
Now, he seems affronted that Rebecca has slept with another boy, an American boy, at that. Had he done the same, moved on and slept with another girl, Rebecca would have been hurt, and he wouldn't have cared. No one would have cared except her and her friends. This is what boys do, after all; but woe betide a woman who does the same. It's as true in adult relationships as it is in adolescence. The hateful girls are slut-shaming Rebecca, when they are, in fact, lusting after having sex with Preston, and because they can't, they make damned sure that Shakil knows about this, and they go out of their way to infer that this was a conscious choice because maybe - just maybe - Shakil didn't rate up to much in bed.
So he sulks, he feigns indifference when she tries to speak to him, but he's having second thoughts and is on the cusp of making contact with her again, when Keegan comes along to drop poison in his ear. Seeing Rebecca leave the house where Preston lives, ne'mind the fact that her aunt also lives there and she just may have been visiting her, Keegan determines that she deserves some sort of vile punishment for dumping Shakil and rubbing his nose in it.
You wonder where all the misogynistic hatred comes from in this character, but you really don't want to know, because that would mean a continuance of his vile character.
Massaging Egos. So Ian doesn't want to get his test results? Whoda thunk that? This is another overused staple in EastEnders - Carol, Tanya, even Mark Fowler played the denial card when confronted with major health issues.
The friendship of the moment happens to be the unlikely friendship between Jane and Stacey. This is unusual because of the situation with Bobby and how the Beales set Max up to be carted off to prison. However, Stacey, a murderer, herself, is in no position to judge, and the Beales are family twofold. Ian is Martin's cousin, and by marriage, also Stacey's cousin. Lauren was once her sister-in-law and is now her friend. They are both young mothers with children. So I suppose there is a natural affinity, the two of them being married to Lou's grandsons.
As much as I'm uneasy with the free ride the Beales have been given in relation to avoiding prison punishment for harbouring Bobby, I can accept that they've been dealt karma of a different sort with Jane confined to a wheelchair and now something about to happen in relation to Ian's health.
It was clever, however, the way they tied this in with Dot's self-imposed isolation, which was typical Dot and also a typically stupid diva-ish thing to do. Dot is elderly, and with Abi away for the weekend, anything could have happened to her alone and on her own in the house. Watching Dot feel sorry for herself as Jack and then Stacey and Jane pommeled her doors and windows.
Jane thought fast enough to alert Dot to Ian's health issues and we got what amounted to yet another journey in continuity through the Beale-Fowler male medical history line - how Pete died young from a car crash, how Arthur had a brain hemorrhage and never went to doctors (no blood kin), and finally, how grandad Albert died all too young. Throw in Jim's stroke and Ian's already beginning to sweat and think about his coffin.
The Good Wife. Notice how subtly Whitney has moved into wife mode - specifically, Mick's wife. She's the one who sorts some of Mick's financial woes by halving his 20k fine for breaking licencing laws. The fine was actually 10k apiece for both Mick and Babe - except, no one's seen or heard from Babe since she uttered a curse on the Vic. Why, one would almost think that Babe was behind all the bad luck that's been heaped on the Vic. Whitney points out that Babe needs to be found, and Mick toddles off to the Vic to report her disappearance. The police put out a bulletin for her arrest.
Mick's attitude toward Whitney is ever-so-slightly changing with the departure of Lee and in Linda's absence. He's openly calling her "babe" now. And when Whitney says she's going to visit Lily, he again calls her "babe" and declares he'll walk her over. They have the mien and demeanor together of a couple, not someone who should have a fatherly interest in someone who's still, effectively, married to his son.
In fact, when they run into Jack and Mick, confident that Jack was still going to loan him the money needed to fix the Vic, with the workmen carrying on and expecting to be paid at the end of the week, has the brass to remind Jack of the loan, which makes for an uncomfortable moment - because Jack was just on his way to tell Mick that the loan wasn't going to be a loan anymore. He had a lot of valid reasons - Dot's accident means he's going to have to pay for health care (not that Jack's short a few bob) etc - all the while with Max standing near, making quasi-inaudible remarks about the state of play in Jack's life - he's just lost his wife, he has to find child care, he doesn't need this extra expense - and all the time, Mick is cringeing with embarrassment at having to beg, whist Whitney the new Non-Wife, openly begs, even offering to look after Jack's children, anything, anything to help Mick. Anything.
The two traipsed off from the pub and left a hungover Johnny to deal with the workmen, having partied all weekend at Ben's and Jay's housewarming party, which is what students do. How long before something happens between Mick and Whitney and how long before Johnny finds out?
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