Monday, February 6, 2017

The Children's Hour - Review:- Monday 06.02.2017

On a scale of 1 to 10, I gave this episode a 6, but only for the overtly contrived secret Sean O'Connor dropped in the lap of the lamentable Fox sisters, as a means of an obvious lesson learned in blood relation as opposed to one who was adopted and also as another means of keeping new tragedy queen Denise at the forefront of the action, gurning, disapproving and showing general ingratitude. 

I don't like the direction EastEnders is taking.

The Boring Brat Pack. The more I hear about the teens being brought to the forefront of the show, the more I question this decision by Sean O'Connor. With the increasing scenes being done in and around a school set, it's beginning to look more like a 21st Century version of Grange Hill or a re-make of Waterloo Road.

This is the flagship show for BBC1. It's not a niche soap, and I also object because the so-called youth are being played by people who are pushing, if not over twenty, and look it. They are either drama school kids or just plain bad or even too arrogant or ignorant to consider the scope of the dramatic roles they play. The actor cast as the atrociously cruel and misogynistic Keegan has gone on record as saying that if the viewers hate Keegan, then that's OK with him.

Really? Is this guy just dense or is he simply too arrogant to realise that there are, indeed, characters whom the audience "love to hate." These are people like Janine or Ian Beale, generally unpleasant people, but people who, nonetheless, in their own way, entertain the audience. Possibly because, underlying their unpleasantness, the audience knows them well enough to know that there's another layer which might hold the reason or rationale for this untoward behaviour.

Then, there are characters who are simply unpleasant and unlikable, and Keegan is one of them. He's not a "cheeky charmer" as Carmel unwittingly described him tonight. He might present this face to her, but he's cold, mean-spirited, lacking in compassion, cruel, misogynistic and simply appalling.

"Cheeky charmer" Carmel calls him. Well, here is a cheeky charmer; from the 1950s American series Leave It to Beaver, I give you Eddie Haskell, who always put a smarmy good side forward when speaking with his best mate's mother. Away from dealing with parents, he was cocky and mildly insolent, but funny.


Keegan is just mean and unpleasant.

This was all about the repercussions of Louise's senseless act of sending the nude pictures of Shakil to literally everyone in the school, as some sort of weird revenge for Shakil having de-flowered the insipid Rebecca and dumped her.

I don't think this is a contrivance for us to feel sorry for Shakil; for me, it's just a cautionary tale of what happens when children muck about with sex. Seriously. Tonight we heard Shakil utter the same line that Tina said to Rebecca when she, herself, was thinking about sexting Shakil, in response to him sexting her.


Those pictures are out there forever. For all to see.

I don't think we're supposed to feel sorry for anyone in this sordid tale; at least, I don't feel sorry for any of them. Remember that this whole sorry tale evolved from Shakil pressuring Rebecca into having sex. At the time, we weren't even sure that Shakil even liked Rebecca; he only seemed intent on losing his virginity. He called Rebecca "frigid", and whilst he said he was willing to wait until she was ready to sleep with him, he suggested that they sext each other, and started the ball rolling by sending her pictures of him in the nude. Later, although she didn't want to do this, she made pictures of herself, although she didn't send them.

All of this stuff and bother is the result of Rebecca's scatty behaviour and also Shakil's after they slept together. She wanted his undying love. He wanted a shag, although he still wanted to be friends.

Where this gets complicated is where Louise is in this predicament. I don't think even the most idiotic and shallow girl would have failed to recognise that, during the accident with the bus, Shakil put himself out and actually got Louise to safety. I think a lot of her bad feeling toward him is more to do with the fact that he stood by gormlessly whilst Keegan taunted and bullied her. 

That's another situation this storyline has highlighted - the very offensive misogynistic bullying of Louise by Keegan. There's genuine hatred there, even today, he swore total revenge on her and Rebecca for what he perceived they had done to Shakil. Then add to the equation the two teenaged doltish girls - the Afro-Caribbean and the one with the rat's nest hair - who've horned their way into Louise's sphere of influence and tag along like a warped Shakespearean chorus, making snide comments from the sidelines about everything - Shakil, Rebecca, the fight between Shakil and the other boy (obviously about the size of Shakil's wotsit and male pride) which was filmed by Rat's Nest, and even Carmel and Carmel's appearance when she showed up at school, summoned by Shakil's teacher.

The entire thing ends with silly Rebecca in tears and those around her not understanding, in their basic Luddite brains, why she still seemed concerned about Shakil's well-being and his reputation after this (as much as fearing for the fact that Shakil would know that the pictures were sent from her phone and, thereby, effectively ending any chance of a reconciliation between her and Shakil).

It also presents us with Rebecca's dilemma. Louise betrayed her, yet when confronted by Shakil about having sent the pictures and when she tells him it wasn't she who sent them, she refuses to divulge that Louise was the culprit. There's the inability of the silly girls to understand why Rebecca wouldn't be pleased with Shakil's humiliation as revenge for having dumped her, and then there's the totally incongruous remark made by Louise, after she lied to the teacher, implying that Shakil had started the fight for no reason, when Rebecca called her out for lying, Louise remarked,

You want my dad to die and you let Shakil get away with this?!

Seriously, what exactly does Phil's illness have to do with Shakil's naked pictures?  I get it that in the general scheme of things, they are chicken shit compared to the prospect of losing a parent, but there are so many facets to this silly storyline that there are really too many to fathom - the stupidity of sexting, especially regarding people who, although they are sixteen, are still emotionally children; the stupidity of getting involved physically when you're not emotionally mature enough to deal with that sort of relationship - teenaged boys are horny; not every teenaged boy is Mick Carter; and the lesson for Louise to think about your actions before you effect them, especially showing a bit of gratitude someone's way when they've helped you.

This is a mess, and it doesn't help that these "teens" are unlikable, smug and doltish, played by inadequate actors. This lot of teens make the Moon Goons and their satellites look pleasing.

It's an ill wind Sean O'Connor blows this way when he seeks to emphasize these woeful teens.

Just a Little Niggle about Michelle ... In this world of globalisation, consider this: Michelle obviously got a teaching qualification in the US, because she certainly didn't have one from here; and if she did, even in bogwater Florida (which is along the Panhandle), the US pre-Trump, pre-DeVos curriculum would require that she get US qualifications. 

The idea that Michelle teaches English is as laughable as Denise getting an English degree. Neither - well, not Michelle in her original incarnation - could string a sentence together without a glaring grammatical error. Be that as it may, Michelle wants to get a job, at first, as a supply teacher - obviously, with a view to going into teaching full-time.

As with anything, she'll need references, and in the world of e-mailing, Skyping and electronic communication, it wouldn't be that hard to get references from her former job within a matter of minutes. Technically, Michelle is a sex offender; actually, she committed statutory rape, as the legal age of consent is 18 in Florida, so technically, she's a rapist. Seriously. 

However, she's lucky that, unrealistically, her crime wasn't reported to the police. (This was an ALTERNATE FACT presented by TPTB and the writing room, because in real time, the school and/or the parents in question would have contacted the police forthwith. However, she'll still need a reference; and school-to-school, an educator will be duty-bound to reveal to any other potential educational employer exactly why Michelle's contract was terminated without notice.

She's living in fucking Cloud Coo-CooLand if she thinks she'll be able to get a job in education here! What the fuck does she think, that because the kid was 16 or 17 in the US and because the legal age of consent here is 16, that it won't matter? That the authorities in the UK would just say, Tsk, tsk, what happens in the US stays in the US?

Because at the end of the day, Michelle was in a position of trust, and she abused that trust and abused a student. I want to see the show own up to this, especially since they've gone out of their way to demolish totally the character of an original and one of the most iconic characters on the show.

Of course, you know things will go tits up with Michelle looking after Louise and Dennis, especially Dennis. At any rate, the sex offender secret has to come out sooner or later. Besides, Phil had a great line of foreshadowing on hand, when Sharon suggested that Michelle shadow her shifts at the Vic, because she'd left Mick in the lurch at the last minute. Michelle poo-poohed the idea, turning her nose up at the suggestion.

Michelle: I'm a teacher, why would I want to pull pints in a pub?
Phil: Because you're out of work?

By virtue of that line alone, you know Michelle will end up ... pulling pints in the pub. And she should.

On the other hand, it was nice to see Sharon and Phil happy with each other for once and looking forward to going off on an extended holiday.

The Continuing Troubles of Mick Carter. It never rains but it pours for the Carters now. We knew things would go from bad to worse when Mick woke up to find Sylvie in bed with him. 

Sylvie is a trying character, and once again, I'm not sure if we're supposed to laugh at her or cry with her. There was one remark made tonight - as there is every few months - about finding a home for Sylvie, a suggestion which was poo-poohed by Tina, who farms Sylvie out ad hoc to whichever relative seems to have some sort of time to spend with her. 

Today, however, it's not Mick. Mick is still missing Linda, and now it seems he's fallen out with her. He's hoping that she will return home, once she sees Elaine settled in rehab. Somehow, he thinks all the mishaps happening at the pub, specifically the leak in the roof, might be rectified simply by her presence. Or maybe, finding out that he's uninsured for wear and tear, he hopes Linda can worry and nag some roofer into replacing the roof at a fraction of the cost or whatever. Or perhaps he wants her home, because confronted with that snog he enjoyed with Whitney, he sees Linda as a protective shield against any temptation he might feel with Whitney hanging around like a bad smell.

But Linda isn't coming home. In fact, she's sticking with Elaine for the rehab, and when Mick starts whining about the pub, Linda reminds him that her priority at the moment is her mother; and Linda is right. This is spoiled brat Mick now acting out. Why doesn't he run to Mummy now? He only does so in order to get Shirley to take Sylvie off his hands, something Shirley definitely finds distasteful. Mick resents that Linda's mother, ill and recovering from a stroke, deserves Linda's primary attention, rather than coming home to deal with cowboy roofers and to shield him from a predatory daughter-in-law.

Mick is still keeping secrets. Let's count them: his debt (which Babe suspects), the roof being uninsured (again Babe suspects), the snog with Whitney (no one suspects); and sooner or later, these secrets will implode. When Mick is conflicted, he turns inward upon himself and makes everything about himself. Today he was so conflicted and upset that he refused point-blank to take his son to an important seminar, because fings weren't going ickle Mick's way.

Mick is the ultimate manchild, and with Lee leaving, he'll probably come unstuck and end up sleeping with Whitney. It's far-fetched, but his initial scene, waking up to Sylvie being in his bed, could have been foreshadowing that vulnerable Mick will succumb to Whitney in Linda's absence. Of course, Whitney being Whitney, the eternal victim, will make it all Mick's fault.

The Carters, themselves, don't know they're about to lose their licence.

Sisters Are Doing It for Themselves. Well, that was a turn-up for the books. Leave it until Grandma Medusa's last day in the Square, ply her with some rum and sit back and watch the inadvertant truths come pouring out of her mouth.

All it took was a couple of snifters for her to start telling Kim a few home truths about herself. Actually, for all Denise defended Kim as a "good mother," the real truth is that she isn't. It's obvious that Vincent does all the chores around the house whilst "Princess" Kim sits on her ample arse, perfecting her style. She uses the excuse of cuddling Pearl in bed in the morning to force Vincent to serve her breakfast in bed, consisting of chocolate spread on toast, and then, like the big kid she is, she makes a mess with the chocolate all over the bed. 

Pearl is a fashion accessory, and I always find it amusing and yet worrying that the kid, easily the cutest infant on the show, always looks bloody terrified whenever she's within spitting distance of Kim. Still, I could understand the natural inclination of Denise to take up for Kim in the face of Grandma Medusa's incessant criticising.

But fueled by rum, when Denise's defence became too much, Granny accuses them of ganging up on her and blurts out an inconvenient truth - that Denise and Kim actually aren't sisters.

You what?

is this a re-write or something? Apparently, it turns out that Denise's "uncle" - brought Denise home as a baby. No one knew who her mother was. Wait a moment ... by "uncle", did she mean some random man living with Grandma Medusa at the time, or did she mean Granny's actual brother? Was Denise his child? If so, he must have known who her mother was, and that would mean that Ada/Emerald knew that Denise's father was her brother or whatever. So what was all that searching around the Five Hectors all about?

Will this mean that Denise is going on a search for her birth mother to find out who she, Denise, really is? Is this the next introspective journey? Or is it a contrived lesson for Kim to learn about Denise, not being related to her in any way, but still being her sister, and Denise being someone who was farmed out to be raised by strangers, only to have those strangers becoming real and loving family? Is this an indirect lesson about adoptive relationships versus blood relationships? I hope so. I hope it's not a callous excuse for Denise to demand the return of her child, because that horse has fucking bolted and it should stay that way.

So now the Fox sisters, SOC's Blisters, become even more dysfunctional, and we'll have to suffer po-faced Denise at her worst, drinking herself to oblivion, telling Patrick and Kim that she doesn't know "who she is" and using this as an excuse to be generally unpleasant to anyone and everyone from Carmel to Honey, because this, like all her other dramas, is always only ever about Denise.

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