Thursday, March 27, 2014

Body of Evidence - Review: - 25.03.2014

Or rather ... crime and punishment, because there seems to be a lot of crime - potential, committed, confessed and undetected - floating about the Square at the moment, and it seems that soon the place will be awash with bodies, the first of whom came home tonight.


The Green Green Grass of Money Something Home ...


There's something different about Dot's front room - Nick's back. Well, something purporting to be Nick is in a coffin in that front room.

There's something not quite right about this storyline, which is crying out that Nick isn't dead. I don't believe "Charlie Cotton" is who he says he is either - not Dot's grandson nor a police officer. Many of the residents of the Square - those who bothered to visit Dot to offer their condolences - are suspicious of him as well, specifically Ian and Cora.

Of all the episodes aired since WonderBoy took over the reins ...


this particular storyline, more than any other, captured the real, established and traditional ethos of EastEnders. Yes, I know it will probably end up in being yet another scam on Dot, although someone suggested today that maybe Nick doesn't know about what's going on, maybe "Charlie" really is a policeman, and maybe this is an elaborate scam to establish Nick within Witness Protection or something.

But by the clever use of characters with whom Dot was established from yore, combined with newer characters who've had a part in her recent life, Daran Little (who really should write more EastEnders' episodes) gave us a beautifully crafted vignette that could rival Coronation Street for its pathos and its humour.

Before I go further, however, I want to take to task that epitome of Millenial arrogance and entitlement on Digital Spy forum, Hit'Em Up in Style, he/she (I have a feeling he's a fanboi), who expounds his own self-important opinion as fact, when he confidently states that Sharon and Ian's association with Dot is a total retcon and wonders why the Brannings aren't abundant around Dot's household in this time of grief.

Sit down, H-E-U-i-S, and listen to history.

Truth is, Dot wasn't always a sympathetic character. Originally, she was a Bible-thumping Christian, judgemental, hypochondriacal and an inveterate gossip. She turned a blind eye to Nick's reputation in the Square and blamed the other residents for the bad impression he made. Her closest associations in the Square were Lou and Ethel, two women who were, in reality, old enough to have been mothers to Dot, who was a middled-aged woman in her forties when she first appeared. Pauline avoided her like the plague. Pete Beale felt sorry for her. Of course, the likes of Sharon, Michelle and Ian had little to do with her. They were teenagers, roughly the same ages as TJ, Liam and the odious Cindy the Greek.

For a long time after Dot married Jim, the "Branning" to whom she was closest, was Sonia; and Ian and Sharon started to appreciate Dot, as a link to people from their past who was no longer with them (Pete, Angie) during the early part of the Noughties in this century; but by then, both she and Ian were adults well into their thirties. From time to time, Dot helped Ian with his children. She was a friend to Dennis and supported Sharon when she was grieving, first Angie, and then Dennis, himself - but the fact remains that Ian and Sharon share a rich history with Dot, via Ian's relations (Pete, Kathy, Lou, Pauline and Arthur) and through Sharon's (Den and Ange, Dennis).

During the Nineties, Dot and Carol were not on the Square at the same time - indeed, Carol replaced Dot at the launderette, after Dot left to live with Nick, Zoe and Ashley. The first of Jim's children she met and knew was Max; but of all of Jim's relations, she was and is closest to Sonia, Abi, Jack, Bradley and Derek - and two of those are dead and one has gone. She imbibed Jim's disapproval of Max, which was later enhanced by his association with Stacey; but for the most part, Max and Tanya used Dot as a ready-made babysitter whilst they whored around. Carol and her children were never close to Dot, and Derek's children never acknowledged her.

Thus, the absence of Honker and Abi the Dough-Faced Girl in this incidence, can be attributed to Carol's cancer and A-Levels.

So put that in your bong, Hit'Em Up, and choke on it.

The intriguing part of this situation is the obvious connivance between "Charlie" and Les Coker, who's edgy about his reputation and about whatever is in that coffin.

Yes, there was a continuity error in Dot's apocryphal story about Nick, Ethel and the children's harvest festival during the Sixties, when Dot referenced Ethel's dog, Willy, barking at a bird on a woman's hat. Willie died in 1989, so he'd have to have been one of the oldest dogs in Britain, but I can forgive Daran Little this, after the sadly hilarious scene when Ian accidentally knocked the coffin, causing it to fall and expose someone's dead arm.

I like Ian's scepticism, and I like Cora's covert scepticism even more - the scene where Ian was apologising to "Charlie" on Dot's doorstep, with Cora hovering in the extreme background, distinctly smelling a rat.

I have to praise DTC for one thing, and that's his development of Cora's character. Just as Bryan Kirkwood "got" Janine, DTC "gets" Cora. Gone is Newman's brittle, mean-spirited, drunken, old lag, whom Newman couldn't even milk sympathy for in Cora's single most defining backstory - the abandonment of her bi-racial child for adoption.

Under DTC's hand, we see Cora as the lonely woman that she is, who hides her pain and her suffering and sorrow under a veil of whiskey in an attempt to appear tough and hard-nailed. She's lost her child, her husband died in horrific circumstances as a young man, and she's seen her daughters, both with drink issues, break up marriages and descend into a morass of heroin addiction. She is homeless and living on the charity of Patrick Trueman. Yes, I know she treated Dot's hospitality appallingly, almost losing her her home, but if DTC is willing to forget the hatchet job Newman did to Sharon's character, I can cut him some slack for bringing Cora and Dot together.

And Sharon looked fabulous.

The Magnificent Obsession.


Well, everyone's had a stab at it, and now it's poor pitiful Stacey's turn to have "Hearts and Flowers" as her theme song.


Stacey's in prison, and Ronnie wants to help her. Natural sort of thing to do, one murderer helping out another. One wonders why Ronnie didn't reach out and help Janine, but then one remembers that Janine killed in self-defence. Neither Ronnie nor Skanky did. In fact, they attacked from behind. Pretty cowardly.

Ronnie's going through a "God" complex, which is part of a psychopath's nature, thinking oneself superior to others. In fact, she pronounces as fact that Stacey has "paid her dues" for having killed Archie. Really, Roswell? How, exactly, has Stacey paid her dues? Granted, she's lived happily for the past couple of years under a new identity with a well-off banker boyfriend. Bradley probably crossed her mind from time to time, but nothing to bother her too much; yet being back in Walford, seeing Bradley's sister, feeling the reluctant forgiveness of Roxy, made her realise the hell to which she's condemned Bradley's memory.

For Stacey, this act of expatiating her guilt is all about Bradley, something Ronnie can't understand - probably because Bradley is a man; for Roxy, Ronnie's obsession with getting Stacey out of prison is all about Ronnie; but Stacey hits the nail on the head - Ronnie's obsession with Stacey is all about Danielle.

Because Stacey was Danielle's friend, by befriending and protecting Stacey, Ronnie's got yet another connection with Danielle, which Stacey identifies and throws back in her face.

Watch this space. The Danielle obsession isn't over yet.

Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Milk for Free?

Masood kisses a cow.


One of the best episodes.



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