Straight in ...
The Tale of Honker's Amazing Tits Takes Over.
I don't think anyone's trying to get inside Honker's leotard, not even the Court Jester, who was firmly ensconced with Dame Kelly Holmes's celebrity double at the Home for Unwed Creepy Men in Walford in Friday's episode, which was on the downside of dire.
Apart from Michael French's scenes and Jake Wood being pulled up by the bootstraps in order to actually do what he's paid to do instead of phoning it in, this was easily one of the weakest episodes sinceChrist rose from the dead Dominic Treadwell-Collins took over. That worries me, because he's out and about touting Carol's cancer storyline as one of the three major storylines on the show this year, and last night showed that this storyline has devolved into The Adventures of Sonia's Amazing Tits and How She Hopes to Save Them, as well as a character assassination of Bianca for throwing a spanner in the works of that storyline.
Honestly, I haven't seen a character set up for the Hate Brigade so openly since Pauline Fowler was whacked over the head, off-screen, by Joe Macer.
The Lucy Beale Murder Mystery is set to run 10 months, ostensibly with two other "big" storylines to offset/compliment it - the one about the Carters which (snort-snort-giggle-giggle-snort) hasn't started yet, as the EP is always at pains, gleefully, to tell us, and Carol's cancer storyline, along with a couple of crumbs thrown Sharon's and Patrick's ways from the High Table.
DTC was also at pains to stress that Carol's storyline was looking at cancer differently, from a genetic point of view, but it's turned into a caricature piece featuring Natalie Cassidy, one of the worst actresses in the soap genre, who specialises in the furrowed-brow, open-mouthed tragic look, mingled with self-righteous indignation. In other words, a different sort of mouth-breather.
A bit late in the game, but the show is finally showing a realistic depiction of what a person goes through with chemo. Here's the gist: chemo kills off the bad cancer cells, but it doesn't differentiate in killing off the good cells, which combat infection, which is why a chemo patient has to be very careful about cutting himself/herself or coming into contact with anyone who has a cold or cough. I would imagine that the Butcher-Beale-Jackson household, with Tiffany and Morgan at school and Whitney pretending to work at one, combined with Carol bopping about the Square on some quest or another, is rife with the sort of infection germs that would make her ill. Hey, shit happens, and this is one of the mundane things that happen when someone is having chemo.
However, the storyline has regressed into the tawdry Tale of Two Sisters, featuring Bianca and Sonia, and I want to smack them both. One is, in a different way, as ignorant as the other. Bianca's ignorance reached new lows last night, and Sonia's wasn't much better, bleating on and on about "getting a mastectomy." FFS, get a fecking grip, woman.
The Brannings have always been selfish and self-obsessed, but the irony here is that Carol, usually one of the most selfish members of that tribe, in the throes of an unpleasant cancer treatment, has time to think about Lucy and the impact of her death on Ian's family. Her daughters, both of whom are connected to the Beales in different ways, by blood and by marriage, are obsessing about either themselves or one's marital situation, and using the possibility of contracting cancer as an excuse to emote and draw attention to herself.
No,Sonia, getting a mastectomy won't stop you from getting cancer, but eating junk food, getting drunk on a regular basis as you seem to be doing recently and vegetating as a couch potato might. Instead of whacking your "rack," your genetic counsellor will probably recommend regular mammograms, scans etc every three months to keep an eye out for any abnormal cell growth. As a nurse, Numbskull, you should be well aware of this, but based on one of your final lines of dialogue last night, when you accused your ill mother of always siding with Bianca, it's evident now that this whole ordeal has been all about you.
Bianca is pigshit ignorant and offensive in the bargain (although her imitation of Peggy with the blonde wig was hilarious), but Sonia is simply willfully ignorant and self-obsessed. We keep on hearing about how offensive Martin's behaviour is, with his football mates' obsession and his burping, but that's from pristine Sonia's point of view. Bianca's other ignorant remark about Sonia not "showing signs" of lesbianism was countered by Sonia's equally ignorant one about this being the 21st Century and not being labelled. Sonia, you tongued another woman, and you binned your husband and child before to run off and lezza up with Gnomi before you binned her and declared you weren't a lesbian. How about saying "bisexual" or does not being "labelled" anything open the door up to other activities which aren't so savoury but for whom, as you wouldn't be labelled, you wouldn't accept responsibility either.
As you're not "labelling" yourself anything, does this mean you can ignore your daughter (not difficult to do since she's so silent) as well in your pursuit of your feckless friend? Bianca's leaving Walford. I wish Sonia would bugger off as well.
Question: I thought Carol was being treated privately instead of via the NHS. So why is she entitled to an NHS wig?
The Well-Respected Man.
That would be our Max, and it was good to see Jake Wood up the game more than a bit this time. This episode was all about him and Detective Uncle David, who's determined to find the murderer of his niece, both for her sake and that of his dead daughter.
Who'd have thought David Beale Wicks to be so observant, but as the player-precursor to Max Branning, I suppose he had to be. It certainly didn't take much to get that sort of confession out of Max, who's more afraid, I imagine, of getting caught by Ian and by his own daughters in a precarious situation far more closer to home than Stax ever was.
Max is no murderer, and I don't think for one moment that he killed Lucy, but the CCTV film clearly shows an encounter between a man and a woman which wasn't pleasant, and the body language cries out that the man was, summarily, being dumped. As much as Max is deleting the film, he's doing it as much to keep his daughters in the dark about his extra-curricular activities as to keep off the scent of the police.
I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself (nor Does DTC).
I truly feel sorry for Alfie Moon, almost as much as I feel sorry for Sharon. If ever any character was ill-served by bad and lazy writers since his return, it's been Alfie. Alfie was once a breath of fresh air - a conman with a conscience, who hinted at having a dark side, the guy who won the girl and redeemed her. Since his 2010 return, apart from carrying the abysmal babyswap storyline along with (surprise surprise) Jack Branning, the writers have tended to write Alfie Moon as ... well, as Shane Richie, and it isn't working.
Another thing that isn't working is Alfie on the market. That didn't work in 2005, and it's not working now. Alfie needs to be someplace where he's bantering with the public in a closed environment. What about the bookies?
It's nice to know that Jessie Wallace has committed herself to a career of being a background character, but I wonder if Shane Richie would be willing to do the same? Because after the twins are born, that's about what Alfie and Kat are about to become - Category B Background characters.
Mediocre episode.
The Tale of Honker's Amazing Tits Takes Over.
I don't think anyone's trying to get inside Honker's leotard, not even the Court Jester, who was firmly ensconced with Dame Kelly Holmes's celebrity double at the Home for Unwed Creepy Men in Walford in Friday's episode, which was on the downside of dire.
Apart from Michael French's scenes and Jake Wood being pulled up by the bootstraps in order to actually do what he's paid to do instead of phoning it in, this was easily one of the weakest episodes since
Honestly, I haven't seen a character set up for the Hate Brigade so openly since Pauline Fowler was whacked over the head, off-screen, by Joe Macer.
The Lucy Beale Murder Mystery is set to run 10 months, ostensibly with two other "big" storylines to offset/compliment it - the one about the Carters which (snort-snort-giggle-giggle-snort) hasn't started yet, as the EP is always at pains, gleefully, to tell us, and Carol's cancer storyline, along with a couple of crumbs thrown Sharon's and Patrick's ways from the High Table.
DTC was also at pains to stress that Carol's storyline was looking at cancer differently, from a genetic point of view, but it's turned into a caricature piece featuring Natalie Cassidy, one of the worst actresses in the soap genre, who specialises in the furrowed-brow, open-mouthed tragic look, mingled with self-righteous indignation. In other words, a different sort of mouth-breather.
A bit late in the game, but the show is finally showing a realistic depiction of what a person goes through with chemo. Here's the gist: chemo kills off the bad cancer cells, but it doesn't differentiate in killing off the good cells, which combat infection, which is why a chemo patient has to be very careful about cutting himself/herself or coming into contact with anyone who has a cold or cough. I would imagine that the Butcher-Beale-Jackson household, with Tiffany and Morgan at school and Whitney pretending to work at one, combined with Carol bopping about the Square on some quest or another, is rife with the sort of infection germs that would make her ill. Hey, shit happens, and this is one of the mundane things that happen when someone is having chemo.
However, the storyline has regressed into the tawdry Tale of Two Sisters, featuring Bianca and Sonia, and I want to smack them both. One is, in a different way, as ignorant as the other. Bianca's ignorance reached new lows last night, and Sonia's wasn't much better, bleating on and on about "getting a mastectomy." FFS, get a fecking grip, woman.
The Brannings have always been selfish and self-obsessed, but the irony here is that Carol, usually one of the most selfish members of that tribe, in the throes of an unpleasant cancer treatment, has time to think about Lucy and the impact of her death on Ian's family. Her daughters, both of whom are connected to the Beales in different ways, by blood and by marriage, are obsessing about either themselves or one's marital situation, and using the possibility of contracting cancer as an excuse to emote and draw attention to herself.
No,Sonia, getting a mastectomy won't stop you from getting cancer, but eating junk food, getting drunk on a regular basis as you seem to be doing recently and vegetating as a couch potato might. Instead of whacking your "rack," your genetic counsellor will probably recommend regular mammograms, scans etc every three months to keep an eye out for any abnormal cell growth. As a nurse, Numbskull, you should be well aware of this, but based on one of your final lines of dialogue last night, when you accused your ill mother of always siding with Bianca, it's evident now that this whole ordeal has been all about you.
Bianca is pigshit ignorant and offensive in the bargain (although her imitation of Peggy with the blonde wig was hilarious), but Sonia is simply willfully ignorant and self-obsessed. We keep on hearing about how offensive Martin's behaviour is, with his football mates' obsession and his burping, but that's from pristine Sonia's point of view. Bianca's other ignorant remark about Sonia not "showing signs" of lesbianism was countered by Sonia's equally ignorant one about this being the 21st Century and not being labelled. Sonia, you tongued another woman, and you binned your husband and child before to run off and lezza up with Gnomi before you binned her and declared you weren't a lesbian. How about saying "bisexual" or does not being "labelled" anything open the door up to other activities which aren't so savoury but for whom, as you wouldn't be labelled, you wouldn't accept responsibility either.
As you're not "labelling" yourself anything, does this mean you can ignore your daughter (not difficult to do since she's so silent) as well in your pursuit of your feckless friend? Bianca's leaving Walford. I wish Sonia would bugger off as well.
Question: I thought Carol was being treated privately instead of via the NHS. So why is she entitled to an NHS wig?
The Well-Respected Man.
That would be our Max, and it was good to see Jake Wood up the game more than a bit this time. This episode was all about him and Detective Uncle David, who's determined to find the murderer of his niece, both for her sake and that of his dead daughter.
Who'd have thought David Beale Wicks to be so observant, but as the player-precursor to Max Branning, I suppose he had to be. It certainly didn't take much to get that sort of confession out of Max, who's more afraid, I imagine, of getting caught by Ian and by his own daughters in a precarious situation far more closer to home than Stax ever was.
Max is no murderer, and I don't think for one moment that he killed Lucy, but the CCTV film clearly shows an encounter between a man and a woman which wasn't pleasant, and the body language cries out that the man was, summarily, being dumped. As much as Max is deleting the film, he's doing it as much to keep his daughters in the dark about his extra-curricular activities as to keep off the scent of the police.
I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself (nor Does DTC).
I truly feel sorry for Alfie Moon, almost as much as I feel sorry for Sharon. If ever any character was ill-served by bad and lazy writers since his return, it's been Alfie. Alfie was once a breath of fresh air - a conman with a conscience, who hinted at having a dark side, the guy who won the girl and redeemed her. Since his 2010 return, apart from carrying the abysmal babyswap storyline along with (surprise surprise) Jack Branning, the writers have tended to write Alfie Moon as ... well, as Shane Richie, and it isn't working.
Another thing that isn't working is Alfie on the market. That didn't work in 2005, and it's not working now. Alfie needs to be someplace where he's bantering with the public in a closed environment. What about the bookies?
It's nice to know that Jessie Wallace has committed herself to a career of being a background character, but I wonder if Shane Richie would be willing to do the same? Because after the twins are born, that's about what Alfie and Kat are about to become - Category B Background characters.
Mediocre episode.
Honker has piled the pounds back on !
ReplyDeleteMy theory regarding Max & Davids destroying of the evidence (not) is this -
Whomever broke into the car lot has taken a copy of 'those' files. So the boys trashed a perfectly good PC for no good reason.