Sharon-Not-Sharon Week - Review 16-20.06.2014

Before I get down to what we saw go down this week, let me say that we had a brilliant week of programmes this week, after suffering two weeks of what can only be decided as shit; and that shit featured the abysmally bad character of Tina Carter.

DTC might not like to think of this, but I remember the days of Matt Robinson's tenure. He always gave a character one year to gel and be accepted by the audience. If, after that year, the character still didn't resonate with the audience, they were axed. I seriously think he needs to do this with Tina and also with Sonia, whose return, I think, was a big mistake. Not only is Natalie Cassidy a poor actress, her character is unlikeable as well. Sonia was never as unpopular as she was in her lesbian phase, and Tina is just an annoyingly feckless fortysomething who thinks she can enxtend her entitlement issues by acting like a retarded child.

She can't.

Now axe her.

No Way to Treat a Lady.

The Sharon we all know and love returned this week only to be brained by an illegal lug hired by Phil to "scare" her.

Sharon Week, and Sharon's big storyline, is just as the long-term viewer suspected. The story is all about poor pitiful Shirl, her secret and her unrequited love for Phil.

First of all, what happened to Sharon this week will be no surprise to anyone who's watched the show since the 1990s.  Anytime the Mitchells plan a big kerfuffle for whatever purpose, it usually goes tits up. Grant burned the Vic for insurance reasons and didn't know Sharon, his wife, was still inside. Phil torched the car lot for Frank and killed a vagrant. Now, Phil's pissed off because Sharon's paying attention to the business he financed for her, so he does what he always does - acts like a spoiled brat.

Sharon's interaction with Johnny, in Monday's episode, is the most honest depiction of Sharon since her return in 2012. She admitted that she's happiest when working in The Albert. It's more important to her than being someone's mum or someone's trophy girlfriend.Twas ever thus with her. Give her a business to run, and she'll make a proper go of it. Once again, this was Sharon from the get-go - she was never meant to be someone's mum, The Vic was always going to be her baby. Put Grant in the frame, rather than Phil at the moment, and that would be her idea of happiness. She doesn't work as a mother, and she obviously mistrusts Phil, and with reason, but she shines as landlady of a proper functioning pub. 

In order to understand this more fully, you have to look at Phil's relationship history, and you'll see a pattern. Whenever whoever is Phil's partner - either romantic or familial (and Peggy does come into the frame) - and whenever that woman develops an interest in something to the exclusion of Phil, as he perceives it, his behaviour is predictable. When Phil's pushed aside, he reaches for the bottle with one hand and a bit of rough with the other.

When Kathy was involved with an infant Ben recovering from meningitis, Phil got drunk and ended up with Lorna Cartwright, a 1990s version of Shirley.

When Peggy started telling him a few home truths in the wake of Ben being sentenced and Louise returning to her mother, Phil cracked open the crack and reached for Rainie (more of Rainie imminently). And now that Sharon's spending most of her time making The Albert pay dividends (something Phil, for all his canniness, can't see), Phil starts hanging around that wrinkly old shit-bitch, Shirley Queen of Scrotes.

That's where he is the night Sharon is attacked. Phil needs to get over himself and remember the smell of Shirley's breath in the morning. She looked a properly bitter and sour on Monday night in an empty pub, and "with no big game on," it's not surprising that the punters chose not to watch what wasn't a big game, rather than feasting their eyes on her miserable mug.

All the time Phil's hired thugs are baseball batting their way around the pub, while Sharon's beaten to a frazzle and Johnny's hiding upstairs, Phil is leaning on the bar of the Vic and squeezing the tale of Shirley's teenaged pregnancy from Shirley's vinegar lips, and thus we learn the truth about Mick's father and how Mick came to be Shirley's brother.

We learned a lot of things that night - things which stuffed a lot of assumption down the throats of various fanbois and things that didn't show Shirley in a positive light. Things like:-

• Mick's father was named Andy. He was a few years older than Shirley, who was about thirteen when she cuddled up with Andy and got pregnant by him. Andy was one of only three men Shirley has ever loved in her life, the other two being Phil and Kevin, so why did she cheat on Kevin? And does this mean we're in for a treat when a fiftysomething stranger named Andy shows up?
• Sylvie and the odious Babe took Shirley away for the last few months of the pregnancy, with the lame excuse that Sylvie needed some time away from the perpetually drunk Stan. When the baby was born, Sylvie returned with the lie on her lips that the bairn was Stan's. Somehow, even though he was drunk, I don't think Stan was stupid, do you? Harken back to when Stan told Mick how he saved the boy from drowning, and when Mick asked who was trying to drown him, Stan looked straight at Shirley and replied, "Your mother."
• There was no PND in Shirley's actions at all. Mick got covered with paint, she tried to bathe him and he put up a fuss. She lost her rag and tried to drown him. The way any parent loses their rag and shakes the baby, smacks the baby, throws the baby. Nice one, Shirl.
• Stan didn't put anyone in care. The hospital where Mick was taken, alerted Social Services, who took one look at the Carter set-up, and promptly took Mick and the budding Court Jester.
• Shirley's been drinking since she was fourteen. Her insides must be pickled.

Sharon's story is also heavily inundated with Carters as well, thus proving to the more cynical viewer that the Carters are, indeed, the new Brannings. DTC has a bad reputation for shoe-horning his favourites into every storyline imaginable. The Carters rescued Sharon, and Mick took Phil to hospital and remained with him for Sharon's vigil.

When news of this reached poor pitiful Shirl's ears, she lit out for the hospital - not for any concern about Sharon, mind you. Her first thought was Phil being with Mick on his own and the possibility of Phil letting drop Shirl's secret to Mick.

This is how self-obsessed and entitled Shirley Queen of Scrotes is. Phil's lover is lying critically ill in surgery, and the first thing Shirley wants to be reassured of is that Phil hasn't broken her confidence. For once in his miserable life, Phil hands her her scrawny, wrinkly arse. This isn't about her; this is all about Sharon ... and then he proceeds to tell her that he'd set the attack up in order to scare Sharon, but didn't have any idea that she'd sent his bouncers home.

To Shirley's credit, she's initially appalled that Phil would do something of this calibre, and to someone he loved as well. This would have been the time for Shirley to have had an epiphany about Phil - one she should have had two years ago when Phil couldn't, wouldn't promise her fidelity. Shirley needs to stop and think - Phil's been unfaithful to literally every woman with whom he's been involved romantically, except Sharon and Kate. He cheated on Kathy with Lorna, on Lisa with Mel and on Shirley twice - with Rainie and with Glenda. If Phil would do this to a woman he loved, and if Shirley thinks he loves her, what makes her think he wouldn't do the same to her?

As much as she thinks that she and Phil are cut from the same cloth, she doesn't understand that the Mitchell men are all about control.

God help the woman who stands up to you! Shirley exclaims when Phil confesses what he did. Well, Sharon's stood up to Phil many a time and lived to tell the tale of how the Mitchell men treat and react to their women.

The Mitchell men have all been about control. That's why Eric smacked Peggy about. Grant sulked massively when Sharon didn't go along with his plans. He smashed up the Vic, himself, when he found she was still on The Pill when he wanted to start a family. Archie was the ultimate control freak. Whenever something or someone else diverts a Mitchell wife from what should be the centre of their universe, then they react the way Phil and Grant do and did. Both Kathy and Sharon ended up leaving the country after standing the brothers down. Their immediate successors - Tiffany and Lisa -were treated appallingly, and both of them were mothers of Mitchell children. Tiffany died pursuing Grant, who'd snatched Courtney. Lisa was left a psychological wreck by Phil.

Shirley would only stand up to Phil in order to egg him on.

I remember when Bryan Kirkwood made Phil and Shirley King and Queen of the Square, with Jay as the self-appointed Crown Prince and Ben as the sinister Clown Prince. That's when I really began to hate Shirley - and dislike Jay to a great degree. Faux Mitchells trading off Phil's name with their "Do You Know Who I Am?" entitlement. At that time, someone remarked that Shirley had become OldPhil and Phil had become OldGrant. It was the same in Tuesday's episode.

"We'll" get them. "We'll" make sure Sharon never finds out ... because, if Sharon dies, then Phil has to look her son in the eye and acknowledge that, although he might have played a significant but peripheral part in the boy's father's death, he's 100% responsible for his mother's. But then Shirley would step in and whisk him off into care, most probably. Anything to appease King Phil's guilt.

And if you believe Sharon won't find out, then there's a bridge in New York that's for sale with your name on it. Because if TPTB are true to Sharon's character, then as soon as she wakes up, she'll recognise from the get-go that this had "Mitchell Cock-Up" written all over it. Somehow a burning pub just might come to mind. And if she doesn't, then I'm sure Queen Shirley will be only too happy to apprise her of the situation and even to tell her that she'd declared her love for Phil and he was about to do the same for her, until Sharon so inconveniently took a turn for the worse. Damn that Sharon!

Phil on Tuesday exhibited brilliantly the very big problem the show has with male characterisation. If Phil Mitchell doesn't like a woman standing up to him, which is what Sharon has always, always, always done with the Mitchells and for which they accorded her respect, then why is he happy for Shirley to step in, take control and bark orders? Because she ironed a shirt?

And if you think Shirley couldn't sink any lower, hold your breath. Friday's episode proved that she could and she did. We learn that Phil has spent the entire night at the hospital whilst Sharon was in surgery. Throughout all of that time, Shirley has been bombarding him with texts and phonecalls, demanding to know what he thinks of her. (Any decent man would have told her to get stuffed).

Friday's episode was all about Shirl's angst and anguish at not knowing what Phil would have said to her, had Sharon not so inconveniently relapsed. To be fair, Phil's body language - the touching of her face and hair - gave her reason to believe that Phil might harbour some romantic feelings for her, that he, indeed, might love her.

Not content enough and not compassionate enough to appreciate that Phil's first concern might be for Sharon during this time, she immediately pounces on him for an answer when he returns from the hospital, only to find out what?

That Phil cares for her, but that he cares for her in a way someone might care for a down-trodden friend. Or  a pet. Or a doormat.

We know Phil is worried about Sharon, we know Phil also has a conscience and is feeling guilt beyond belief about what happened to Sharon, and we know he's scared for himself, and with reason; but is she that selfish that she thinks that Phil can just push Sharon aside like that and resume what Shirley thinks is "normal service?" She's mightily inconvenienced that Sharon's turn for the worse meant Phil had to dash off to hospital, so put out is she that she continues to text and try to phone Phil throughout the entire time he's there. And then, when she finds out Sharon's no longer in critical condition, she expects Phil to express his love for her. In her opinion, he's "leaving her hanging."

Many people say that Phil and Shirley should be together because they are so much alike. She certainly brings out the absolute worst in him. but he's chosen to live with Sharon. Yes, it's true that he did what he did in organising the attack, and that's inexcusable, and to any other normal person, Shirley's assertion that you wouldn't do that to someone you loved would ring true; but for all she reckons she's like the dark side of Phil, she doesn't know him all that well.

This is what Mitchell men do to the women they love. Eric smacked Peggy about. Grant set a pub alight with Sharon inside (although he didn't know it). He also hit Sharon, called her a whore and offered her services out to his mates, in the wake of Sharongate. Grant cheated on Tiffany twice and treated her abysmally. Both bruvs have smacked Peggy with such force that she was knocked off her feet. Phil has cheated on practically every woman he's been with - he cheated on Kathy with Lorna, on Lisa with Mel. He cheated on Shirley twice - with Rainie and with Glenda. He couldn't even promise Shirley fidelity, and yet there she is, after his having betrayed her and lied to her those months after Heather's death, she's proven her obsession with him definitely tonight.

She had the opportunity to revenge Heather's death, but she chose to give Phil a false alibi. She had a chance of a new life with her daughter and grandchild, but she returned to Walford to obsess over Phil. Heather is forgotten and so is Ben's part in her death. Tonight, rather than joining her family to celebrate her son's success, she chose to chase after crumbs from Phil's table, literally begging him to say he loved her.

We can easily say now that Dean doesn't matter to Shirley at all. She only cares about Mick, and she wants Phil.

Shirley perceives that Phil has "left her dangling" by what she reckons was an undeclared avowal of love, and she doesn't want to stand in someone else's shadow anymore. This is what this entire malarkey has been about - Shirley really realises now what she's felt all along with Phil - that if Sharon ever returned, Shirley would be toast.

Phil put Shirley firmly in the picture when he turfed her out so he could have a few winks and get back to Sharon's side, but he didn't reckon on Shirley being egged on again by her slag of a sister.

The Carter sisters are two of the most amoral characters ever seen on the show. I loathe Tina. I've never seen a more entitled and puerile character on the show in my life. Her philosophy is that if you want something, you just reach out and take it - never mind if that "something" is a person who's married to someone else or involved with someone else - even if the object of your desire has a partner who's desperately ill, you want the person in question, you go, girl! I'm still wondering if she's genuinely what the Italians would call a deficiente. She's certainly unlikeable and aggressively stupid. She could have caused a nasty accident the way she was playing with those shears.

Shirley's lowest point came when she followed Phil to the hospital, stopping short at the door of Sharon's room to hear Phil's proposal and Sharon's acceptance. So she was actually going to barge into the hospital room of a seriously ill and injured woman and demand Phil tell her he loved her, and probably tell Sharon of Phil's involvement as well.

Does Phil love Sharon? He loves the idea of Sharon, and now he's got that idea back, when she admitted that she was wrong to put the bar ahead of Phil and Denny, but earlier in the week, Sharon was visited by Ian and by Dot, who remarked fatefully, that it would take more than this to keep Sharon Watts down.

The trio of Sharon, Phil and Shirley have a lot of secrets, especially concerning Ronnie, so if Sharon gets her mojo back, they'd all better watch out.

Carters, Carters Everywhere.

They are. Literally. And that's frightening. Even though I like the majority of the family - Mick (who's gone down considerably in my estimation for his Absent-Mommy Issues and his passive aggressive bullying of  his devoted wife), Linda, Johnny, Stan and Nancy - I don't like to see them shoe-horned into every story. Their remit is the Vic, but with Johnny working for Sharon, they now have a presence in The Albert.

Through Johnny, they're now involved with Sharon's dilemma. Not that that's bad, in fact some of it is very good. For example, Sharon's poignant scene at the hospital in Friday's episode with Linda. TPTB missed a golden opportunity to give Sharon the sort of friend she hasn't had since Michelle. Sharon and Linda both grew up in pubs, with similar backgrounds. Instead, we've seen months of bitchy remarks and sniping, but Linda saw through Sharon's brave front at hospital last night and they bonded over a good cry.

My question is: why, exactly, was Sharon crying? Was it, indeed, because it was a release of tension after maintaining a brave face for Phil? Or, coming on the heels, of Linda's comment about Sharon feeling safe with Phil around, did Sharon give vent to tears because she recognised Phil's hand in what happened at the pub?

Either way, Linda's about to face a crisis of her own. She and Dean are an affair waiting to happen. 

Mick's subtle change in the treatment of his wife since his Sugly Blister baybees have come mooching on the scene hasn't gone unnoticed. He's colder and more frustrated with whatever Linda does or says. As she, herself, remarked, she can't do right for doing wrong.

Her latest faux pas came when she inadvertantly revealed to all and sundry that Johnny didn't help defend Sharon when the thugs muscled their way into the pub; instead, he cowered, frightened, upstairs. He did, however, raise the alarm about what happened. Johnny wanted to tell the truth, himself, but Linda, ever the over-protective mother, stepped in.

Never mind, Johnny, I got this.

Not only is Mick shooting disapproving glances Linda's way, Johnny's not above moaning about her to all and sundry, only to be told by his cousin (uncle) Dean that he's lucky to have Linda and to have Sharon, whom he respects, reveal how proud Linda was of Johnny.

Yet when Johnny asked Mick why he defended Linda, we got none of the usual and expected answers - that she was his wife, that he loved her, that she was the mother of his children whom they should respect - instead, we got Somebody has to.

A pithy excuse, especially when his nephew (brother) has been clocked making Linda laugh and being nice to her. Everyone's glad that Dean's around, but not Mick.

Shit, Dean's not even glad to be around, himself. Early in the week, he was quick to remind Stan that he wasn't a Carter. He was a Wicks, thank you very much; and in Friday's episode, his reason for not wanting to stay in Walford came down to the fact that he didn't want to associate with that woman. 

I think Stan knows the nature of Shirley's relation to Mick. He's street-suss enough to do so, and I think his encouragement of Dean staying isn't out of the goodness of his heart, but a manipulative venture to have this secret revealed and have it revealed to Dean that his scrote of a mother thinks more of Mr Perfect Mick than she does her other son.

This is Stan's payback. And Dean is Shirley's Nick, only darker and meaner and with justification. Dean is set to blow the Carter dynamic sky high.

Ian's Little Secret.

Rainie's back in town! A bloody interesting character played by a brilliant actress. Make no mistake - Rainie should only ever always be a recurrent character. Spring up, cause some serious bother, tell a few home truths, shake up some dynamics and then disappear.

Taming Rainie would lose her edge. 

Well, she's rocked up again, and this time, she's involved with Ian. We all know - well, those of us who have watched since the 90s - that Ian has a propensity for kerb-crawling and that he isn't averse to paying for sex, when things on the home front aren't going according to plan.

Around about the time of Good Friday, Ian was getting fed up with being in a loveless relationship with Denise, and equally frustrated that Jane was with Masood. So Ian does what Ian does - goes hunting a prozzie. And of all the street corners in all of London, he happens upon Rainie Cross. Well, Ian always did like to pay for sex with someone he knows. 

So on the night of Lucy's death, when CindyBoy went to find Ian at the restaurant and found nothing, Ian was off someplace bonking Rainie. Not only bonking her, but giving her his mobile number. So now Rainie's come looking for Ian with ... shock, horror ... blackmail on her mind.

Ian Beale being blackmailed by a prostitute - whoda thunk it? Yes, it's a clichéd scenario that's been played out before, but Janine's not around (and anyway, she's rich now), so Rainie works a treat.

Not only has Lucy's death now become even more all about Ian trying to keep his reputation clean and cling onto the newly-returned Denise in order to appease his Mommy Issues, but we need to remember that Rainie also has a history with Phil Mitchell, and of course, her mother is still in Walford.

Rainie's off the wagon, but what she's on is anyone's guess. One thing for certain is that she's turning tricks to finance booze, crack or heroin, and she's got Ian by the short and curlies - so much so that Ian can't manage to pay for Lucy's funeral. (I'm not surprised he's got a cashflow problem, the way he runs his businesses).

A brilliant week, after two weeks of torture. This trend needs to continue.