Music, maestro, please:-
Pray, silence, please for the end of the affair between Walford's answer to Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. David and Carol are no more, if they ever were.
2014 is certainly the year for legacy characters to depart. EastEnders are losing a gaggle - the immensely popular Janine, the immensely idiotic Bianca and the immensely unpopular Lucy Beale. And now David Beale Wicks - son of Pete Beale and Pat Evans, grandson of Lou, nephew of Arthur and Pauline, brother of Ian, cousin to Mark, Michell and Martin Fowler ... you can't get any more aristocratic than that. Well, Corrie is losing the daddy of all legacy characters when Peter Barlow bows out this summer.
I'm a bit worried if Bianca's character goes to settle in Manchester. Why? Picture ten years into the future and Bianca stumbles into Walford again. Where's Liam? Liam's wiv'is dad. OK, where's Morgan? Morgan's wiv'is dad.
Well, what about Tiff, Bianca? Oh, 'er. She's only gone an' go'erself up the duff wiv'er boyfriend. They're livin' wiv his stepmum, who's a right cow. Name of Leanne. 'Is name is Simon. Simon Barlow.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Yes, David Beale Wicks has left the building, following on a heart attack which revealed he had an embolism, and winging it away to Florida on what would have been his honeymoon. Despondent, ailing, how long do you reckon it will be before Michelle rings Ian to tell him his brother's dead?
I hope this isn't the case. Legacy characters are thin on the ground as it is, without having yet another meet his end off-screen, and - I don't know about you, but I hate the thought of the Butchers being left with no one but Liam the Lug's representation or the Fowlers' last person standing being hairy RebeccaBoy.
David has gone - not just gone, but gone to Julia's Theme and all. I know that counts for little these days, but I gather Michael French only intended, originally, to stay for three months and extended his duration as a favour. David was never one to be domesticated, but I concur with the venerable Mrs B from Walford Web - I'd far rather have seen Carol leave than David.
David has more scope. He has a brother and nephew on the Square, to both of whom he's lately loaned his emotional support. He is, at the end of the day, a Beale. After the departure of Bianca and her awful brood, Carol is left with her cancer and Honker ...
... Honker's amazing tits and the silent, prissy RebeccaBoy. And David was looking for a release through death!
All in all, this was a brilliant episode. It's only faults were Carol's remarks about David coming and going over the years and that totally schmalzy scene of the dancing in the front room. Carol and David were brought back together over 20 years ago after a teenaged association that was never the romance Bryan Kirkwood remade. They connected during the 90s for a weekend of shagging, which (on David's part) was comfort sex after he became the pariah of Walford - he made reference to that when counselling Max yesterday - and was angry revenge sex on Carol's part, because she did this to counter Alan's infidelity. Fast forward sixteen years to 2012, and David and Carol connected again, having not seen each other in all that time. Once again, this was comfort sex on David's part, because his mother had just died, and it was a Mills & Boon romance. But Carol wasn't the first person whom David left crying in the rain ...
Finally, they connected again in 2013, and this time David really did try to do commitment, but he really couldn't. All along, I've said that both Beale boys had mummy issues as opposed to everyone else in the Square having daddy issues. Both chased trophy women, but wanted to come home to a nesting wren who would treat them like recalcitrant schoolboys and who wouldn't buy any of the shite they dished. Enter Jane and Carol. This is why David keeps returning to Carol, and it's why Ian is whining after Jane even now, without a thought for Denise. They want a yummy mummy. And when Carol pointed out tonight that Pat was the only other person in the world who saw through David's behaviour, he immediately sussed that Carol meant that he was forever returning to that elusive mummy figure. I felt vindicated.
On Carol's part, the moment before she made that remark about wanting to grow up, I was thinking about just how childish Carol really was. Honestly, she hasn't progressed much, emotionally, past the age of fourteen, and it's no wonder where Bianca gets her puerile ways. David is just as immature, but with more charm. They both rush into things without thinking, and sometimes when they're in the thick of it, they occasionally blurt out the truth- as in when David said he'd rather be dead than married to Carol. What he really meant was that he'd rather be dead than commit, and that has always been David's mojo. Carol knew this, and if truth be known, she started to realise that David was distancing himself from her a few weeks ago, as soon as he realised that Carol just might beat the cancer, and the comfort sex and sympathy sex became a commitment in his eyes. Carol knew this much as well when she freed him to go to Miami with her blessing that he'd find a nubile young woman to keep him company.
David lied about leaving hospital because he didn't want to lose his comfort blanket. Carol lied because without David or a wedding on which to focus, the cancer becomes the central focal point in her life, and that means the diva returns. The over-dramatic sweeping out of the consultant's office, the ripping off of the wig - a wig that made her look all the more juvenile - the temper tantrums and her demanding that David leave.
Yesterday, she was accusing him of having a heart attack on purpose, and today she managed to expose David as someone who, whilst generally fond of her because she was the mother of one of his children, was essentially paying lip service. He's the worst kind of con artist - assuring Carol that "breasts or no breasts" he would support her, only to be offering her the chance of reconstructive surgery in Miami - at a cost of thousands of pounds he'd lifted from the business he shares with Max. IIRC, David was jailed for fraud some years ago before returning to Walford. That was an epiphany moment, when Carol realised that "breasts or no breasts", David was a tits man.
They both have to grow up and face the fact that they are now middle-aged people with health issues, confront those issues and move on. The great retconned romance that never was has ended. In between their scant get-togethers, they moved from partner to partner without compunction. For Carol to grow up, she has to rid herself of David and move on from her adolescence and her spoiled brat ways.
The downside of the episode was that cringeworthy last dance in the front room to Dorothy Moore's "Misty Blue". That, and the tears, were too much. Curiously, I wasn't moved, just annoyed at Carol and sad at David's departure. Line of the night goes to Liam:-
I hate that kind of music.
So do I, Liam, so do I.
I knew David wouldn't go back to the hospital.
Janine, Lucy, David and soon Bianca. Legacy characters are decidedly thin on the ground on EastEnders. Ne'mind. We got the Carters. The fact that David Beale Wicks stood head-and-shoulder above the rest of the male inhabitants of Albert Square this time around as the closest approximation to the tradtional EastEnders' flawed Alpha Male, is a walking testiment to how weak male characterisation has become on this programme at the moment. DTC and his band of merry men need to man up and rectify the balance. Loud women aren't strong, and we certainly need a man with balls, not Shirley Carter.
Thus endeth the great romance that never was. We'll miss you, David.
2014 is certainly the year for legacy characters to depart. EastEnders are losing a gaggle - the immensely popular Janine, the immensely idiotic Bianca and the immensely unpopular Lucy Beale. And now David Beale Wicks - son of Pete Beale and Pat Evans, grandson of Lou, nephew of Arthur and Pauline, brother of Ian, cousin to Mark, Michell and Martin Fowler ... you can't get any more aristocratic than that. Well, Corrie is losing the daddy of all legacy characters when Peter Barlow bows out this summer.
I'm a bit worried if Bianca's character goes to settle in Manchester. Why? Picture ten years into the future and Bianca stumbles into Walford again. Where's Liam? Liam's wiv'is dad. OK, where's Morgan? Morgan's wiv'is dad.
Well, what about Tiff, Bianca? Oh, 'er. She's only gone an' go'erself up the duff wiv'er boyfriend. They're livin' wiv his stepmum, who's a right cow. Name of Leanne. 'Is name is Simon. Simon Barlow.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Yes, David Beale Wicks has left the building, following on a heart attack which revealed he had an embolism, and winging it away to Florida on what would have been his honeymoon. Despondent, ailing, how long do you reckon it will be before Michelle rings Ian to tell him his brother's dead?
I hope this isn't the case. Legacy characters are thin on the ground as it is, without having yet another meet his end off-screen, and - I don't know about you, but I hate the thought of the Butchers being left with no one but Liam the Lug's representation or the Fowlers' last person standing being hairy RebeccaBoy.
David has gone - not just gone, but gone to Julia's Theme and all. I know that counts for little these days, but I gather Michael French only intended, originally, to stay for three months and extended his duration as a favour. David was never one to be domesticated, but I concur with the venerable Mrs B from Walford Web - I'd far rather have seen Carol leave than David.
David has more scope. He has a brother and nephew on the Square, to both of whom he's lately loaned his emotional support. He is, at the end of the day, a Beale. After the departure of Bianca and her awful brood, Carol is left with her cancer and Honker ...
... Honker's amazing tits and the silent, prissy RebeccaBoy. And David was looking for a release through death!
All in all, this was a brilliant episode. It's only faults were Carol's remarks about David coming and going over the years and that totally schmalzy scene of the dancing in the front room. Carol and David were brought back together over 20 years ago after a teenaged association that was never the romance Bryan Kirkwood remade. They connected during the 90s for a weekend of shagging, which (on David's part) was comfort sex after he became the pariah of Walford - he made reference to that when counselling Max yesterday - and was angry revenge sex on Carol's part, because she did this to counter Alan's infidelity. Fast forward sixteen years to 2012, and David and Carol connected again, having not seen each other in all that time. Once again, this was comfort sex on David's part, because his mother had just died, and it was a Mills & Boon romance. But Carol wasn't the first person whom David left crying in the rain ...
Finally, they connected again in 2013, and this time David really did try to do commitment, but he really couldn't. All along, I've said that both Beale boys had mummy issues as opposed to everyone else in the Square having daddy issues. Both chased trophy women, but wanted to come home to a nesting wren who would treat them like recalcitrant schoolboys and who wouldn't buy any of the shite they dished. Enter Jane and Carol. This is why David keeps returning to Carol, and it's why Ian is whining after Jane even now, without a thought for Denise. They want a yummy mummy. And when Carol pointed out tonight that Pat was the only other person in the world who saw through David's behaviour, he immediately sussed that Carol meant that he was forever returning to that elusive mummy figure. I felt vindicated.
On Carol's part, the moment before she made that remark about wanting to grow up, I was thinking about just how childish Carol really was. Honestly, she hasn't progressed much, emotionally, past the age of fourteen, and it's no wonder where Bianca gets her puerile ways. David is just as immature, but with more charm. They both rush into things without thinking, and sometimes when they're in the thick of it, they occasionally blurt out the truth- as in when David said he'd rather be dead than married to Carol. What he really meant was that he'd rather be dead than commit, and that has always been David's mojo. Carol knew this, and if truth be known, she started to realise that David was distancing himself from her a few weeks ago, as soon as he realised that Carol just might beat the cancer, and the comfort sex and sympathy sex became a commitment in his eyes. Carol knew this much as well when she freed him to go to Miami with her blessing that he'd find a nubile young woman to keep him company.
David lied about leaving hospital because he didn't want to lose his comfort blanket. Carol lied because without David or a wedding on which to focus, the cancer becomes the central focal point in her life, and that means the diva returns. The over-dramatic sweeping out of the consultant's office, the ripping off of the wig - a wig that made her look all the more juvenile - the temper tantrums and her demanding that David leave.
Yesterday, she was accusing him of having a heart attack on purpose, and today she managed to expose David as someone who, whilst generally fond of her because she was the mother of one of his children, was essentially paying lip service. He's the worst kind of con artist - assuring Carol that "breasts or no breasts" he would support her, only to be offering her the chance of reconstructive surgery in Miami - at a cost of thousands of pounds he'd lifted from the business he shares with Max. IIRC, David was jailed for fraud some years ago before returning to Walford. That was an epiphany moment, when Carol realised that "breasts or no breasts", David was a tits man.
They both have to grow up and face the fact that they are now middle-aged people with health issues, confront those issues and move on. The great retconned romance that never was has ended. In between their scant get-togethers, they moved from partner to partner without compunction. For Carol to grow up, she has to rid herself of David and move on from her adolescence and her spoiled brat ways.
The downside of the episode was that cringeworthy last dance in the front room to Dorothy Moore's "Misty Blue". That, and the tears, were too much. Curiously, I wasn't moved, just annoyed at Carol and sad at David's departure. Line of the night goes to Liam:-
I hate that kind of music.
So do I, Liam, so do I.
I knew David wouldn't go back to the hospital.
Janine, Lucy, David and soon Bianca. Legacy characters are decidedly thin on the ground on EastEnders. Ne'mind. We got the Carters. The fact that David Beale Wicks stood head-and-shoulder above the rest of the male inhabitants of Albert Square this time around as the closest approximation to the tradtional EastEnders' flawed Alpha Male, is a walking testiment to how weak male characterisation has become on this programme at the moment. DTC and his band of merry men need to man up and rectify the balance. Loud women aren't strong, and we certainly need a man with balls, not Shirley Carter.
Thus endeth the great romance that never was. We'll miss you, David.
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