Sunday, December 14, 2014

Taking a Dump - Review:- 08.12.2014

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I give you the theme of tonight's episode:-



Yes, this was The Dumping Episode. Step right up and take a dump.

Take a Dump I: It's Never Wise to Listen to Jane. Ugh, please let Jane be the killer. She is so totally unbearable with the smug way she swans about the Square dispensing wisdom that's unsolicited and most always wrong. This is a woman dipping her bovine toe into something about which she understands nothing. Her lowest point came when she tried to emotionally blackmail Lauren.

Jeez, I can't believe I'm Team Lauren here, but the shit Jane dished her made me wish Tanya would crawl from the woodwork and smack her smug chops for doing that to her child. Tanya's supposed to be Jane's BFF - they certainly spend enough time dishing dirt on Max and all the other assorted goings-on on the Square. If that's the case, then Tanya most certainly would have told Jane that Lauren is a recovering alcoholic - let's say the right word:- Lauren is an addict, and the fact that Jane is even attempting to convince the girl to reconcile with someone who provided cocaine for his sister's use is simply ignorant. More than ignorant, it's dumb.

I know it was wrong, but he had his reasons ...

Oh, please. Shut up. You're speaking to an addict, who knows better than you can ever comprehend that the last thing she needs in her life is someone who'll acquiesce to her demands for a drink, thinking he's helping to control her habit. She simply cannot afford to be around Peter.

When that argumentative tack doesn't work, Jane uses the gut-wrencher of reminding Lauren of Peter's birthday the next day, his first birthday without his twin. That's it. Shove the ball back into Lauren's court. Make it her responsibility to deal with Peter. Peter, like his father, wants a comfort-bunny, but Lauren needs someone strong to cope with her own addictive personality - and in this instance, Lauren knows more than Jane can ever comprehend in her total arrogance.

But then Jane is the Wise Woman of Walford, holding the Beales together, hiding evidence from Lucy's murder, and now encouraging Lauren to reconcile with Peter in order to shove the living reminder of Lucy's death onto someone else's shoulders.

Jane is one dumb bitch, and this is probably the one time ever that I actually liked Lauren and what she did to Peter.

She told the truth, and this time, she came out infinitely more mature than he did. In the nicest way possible, she told him what he did was not only wrong, it was stupid. She identified herself by the a-word, after eliciting admission from Peter that, yes, Lucy was, indeed, an addict. (I feel vindicated in having asserted this all along). And then she lowered another boom: No matter how much Peter sought to control Lucy's addictive behaviour, as an addict, she would be able to get whatever she wanted and when she wanted it.

In fact, the worst thing a person could do for or to an addict is provide him or her with the drug of her addiction, even in a helpful way. Peter should have told someone - if not Ian, then Lauren, anyone ... but the last thing he should have done was provide her with drugs, even if it were an effort to keep her away from so-called "dodgy characters." So all this shit Peter dished Ian about knowing,knowing what he presumed Ian would do, how he presumed Ian would react and thought he had a better solution, and what happened?

Lucy ended up dead, because I'm convinced her death was something to do with cocaine. So maybe this is what DTC meant when he said someone may not even realise he was responsible for Lucy's death.

Peter ends up looking like the prize pillock he is, so much so that he refuses the wise counsel his wise, wicked stepmother chooses to offer him ...

Masood let me in...

Well, I hope Zainab returns and lets this bitch out.

And you know something? Peter is still stupid. Mr Posh decides to commune with his dead sister by purchasing some Charlie and taking a hit.

Dimmer that Tim-Nice-but-Dim, and not as charming. Peter's self-pity has served him enough excuses to behave badly, and even he tried to emotionally manipulate Lauren by telling her she was all he had. That's the biggest load of poppycock going. When it comes to Peter and Ian, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Both use their grief as a means of behaving appallingly, hoping that people would excuse that behaviour because of what they've suffered. 

Well, guess what? That suffering is wearing thin.

Take a Dump II: Self-Serving Sonia, Another Liar. Why don't you tell Martin the truth, Sonia? That you fancy Tina, who was beyond obnoxious tonight. Who the feck does this Court Jester think she is, horning in on a married couple's relationship that way, encouraging Sonia to leave her husband, saying he doesn't deserve her. This is a bitch who can't even tell a straight tale to her own partner. I've no time for either Tina or Tosh, but I can understand Tosh's frustration. She knows that Tina has cheated on her in the past, and with Sonia.

Worse, Sonia's whining about Martin not paying any attention to her because of her looks, her weight. Hello? We've done nothing for the better part of the last year but listen to this snide little wotsit piss all over Martin. We've watched her try to use her child as a means of saving her marriage, and now she's come to the conclusion that she doesn't like the person she's become, so she's dumping Martin and allowing him to take Rebecca ... because then she can romp the beds with Tina and the Carter family, with no responsibilities of children, so they can pretend they're forever living at a B and B, with jiggly Aunt Babe making trifle and encouraging Tina to lie behind Sonia's back.

She's exchanged burping at a table for puking on shoes, pilfering wine and swigging it in public. I'm glad Carol didn't understand what the hell was going on, and I was hoping Linda would go right to the police. If Sonia's dissatisfied with Martin not noticing her unhappiness, maybe it was because Sonia was never at home to notice. She was always hanging around Walford, leaving Rebecca for him to deal with.

Martin and Sonia's proximity to Walford is a puzzle. She lives close enough now, after an absence of years, to be there most of the time. Rebecca attends a different school, and Martin appears to have a business of his own. What? Another fruit and veg stall? A wholesaler? It was good to see him back on the stall, and to clock the look on his face whilst he was there, as well as his eyeing up the old Fowler abode. And it was almost surreal to see the re-cast Peter and re-cast Martin greet each other. 

Still, I liked James Bye - good, also,that they remembered that Martin grew into a tall man, and I have a feeling that once pitiful Peter departs, we'll see Martin back on the stall. Will we see him in his old home, however?

And, finally, as strenuously as Sonia told Martin to find someone new, that should have had alarm bells ringing, especially after that Court Jester imposed herself upon their space and verbally threatened Martin. I hope he realises how much she's been trash-talking him and that Tina was the trash who abused him on Sonia's phone.

Sonia's upset because her widdle gastwic band got taken out, so she asks for another after she's healed, and this is the nurse who's perfectly capable of monitoring herself? Please. Spare me.

Take a Dump III: Baby Blues. Denise was only in the piece a miniscule amount of time, but she owned the episode. I felt desperately sorry for her, especially after Mean-Well Mick offered her a bona fide position as The Help in the realm of Queen Shirley - scrubbing floors and cleaning up vomit in the Vic toilets. Still, as remembered from one of their early episodes, some of Mick's best mates are allegedly ... The Help.

This is the beginning of the end for Sweet Johnny, who is, by definition now, an adult and a man, yet whose parents treat him like a child, forbidding him to ride such a death trap as a scooter. Since Dean suggested Johnny buy this, Linda doubles down the fact that Dean now seems to be hanging about inordinately and crowding her family's space. You should have told Mick, Linda... Instead, she tells him she doesn't want the baby.

So she wants to dump the kid, and Johnny wants to dump his family for Gianluca. Smart Johnny.

Take a Dump IV: No Room in the Inn. One of the twins posing as Jesus in a manger, Stacey opting to spend Christmas not-as-a-family-but-as-a-family with Dean the rapist, and Kat getting her spirits up, which means that they'll suffer an immense fall.

Stacey needs to find Martin. I'd rather see Startin than Stick.

This episode was made by the return of Martin Fowler and by, surprisingly, Lauren. 

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