Just when you think this show couldn't get more absurd, it does.
The False Messiah ...
... may swear blindly in any and all interviews that he's not going to rely on sensationalism and snigger into his cuffs something about explosions, but he's insulting the intelligence of the viewers who are turning off in favour of the seriously stupid and immature element who'd watch this show if it featured 30 minutes of the test signal ...
(Sexy times for your over-heated braincell, xTonix?)
Just as there are seven shades of grey, there are also at least seven shades of sensationalism, and many don't involve any sort of explosions, but quite honestly the way reality is being stretched under this Peter Pan of a producer is most likely making Julia Smith and Tony Holland puke in their respective graves.
At least more people than not are now recognising DTC for the fey and arrogant little manchild conman that he is.
At the public's expense.
The Killer's Blessing.
Time's a-tickin' ...
So two of the three murderin' wimmin have blessed the third. First, Janine blessed poor pitiful Saint Stacey of the Flared Nostrils with freedom from prosecution if Holy Mother Kat lied under oath about Alice killing Michael.
Now, the most cold-blooded killer of the trio, Roswell Ronnie ...
gives Saint Stacey her blessing to accept Janine's blessing. Maybe it was the nostrils, because Ronnie has weird nostrils too, and like Stacey's they're always being shoved in our faces. But Ronnie reminds me of an alien, and Stacey still looks like a pig about to grunt.
How stupid do those writers and Treadwell-Collins think the viewing public are? How fucking lazy are they? When the only adult in the room turns out to be Roxy Mitchell, the most emotionally retarded adult, bar Tina the Court Jester, in the programme, then you know the show is on a hiding to nothing.
Roxy was upset seeing Stacey back in Walford, bold as brass. That's normal, but Ronnie's argument against her anger didn't hold water. The question of Stacey's killing of Archie wouldn't involve anything that had transpired between Ronnie and Archie previously at all. The crime committed would be evaluated on the circumstances of the moment. At the time of Archie's murder, Stacey was totally unaware of the fact that he had raped Ronnie as a young adolescent (if he did, at all, and it was interesting that Ronnie should bring this doubt up to Roxy yet again; never forget that psychopaths are very adept manipulators and specialise in making themselves appear to be the victim); she was also unaware of the fact that Archie was a man dying of cancer, whose chemotherapy threatment had rendered him sterile.
But since Roxy is not the brightest lightbulb in the pack and she's easily swayed by Ronnie's manoeuvres, she backs down, but she isn't happy. At least, there's one person in Walford who won't be pleased with Stacey's return.
I enjoy seeing Ronnie riding high on her power kick, because I know that, as a villain, the higher she rides, the harder and more final her fall will be. And it will occur, sooner rather than later. Mark me.
What I haven't enjoyed about this totally absurd storyline is how the departure - perhaps for the final time - of one of the most interesting, nuanced and important legacy characters in the show's history is being hijacked to accommodate the return of a one trick pony character who caters only to her coterie of little mean-spirited fanbois. Janine has become almost incidental because this now is all about Stacey, and tonight, Ronnie got horned into the proceedings.
What's that about EastEnders not becoming The Stacey and Ronnie Show, Dom-Dom?
This storyline has featured a worried Stacey, who's suddenly developed a conscience about a girl she doesn't even know, not to mention her incredibly flaring nostrils; a cancer-ridden Carol, whose chemotherapy treatment is a slap in the face to anyone who's had to suffer that. With Tanya, chemo meant removing her hair extensions. With Carol, it means that the fine-haired Lindsey Coulson doesn't wash her hair for the duration of this storyline, making the greasy strands lie flat and matted against her skull, emulating baldness. One quick puke and Carol's back scoffing toast, quaffing champers, and banging on doors with the strength of Darth Vader. Once again, EastEnders gets cancer horribly and insultingly wrong.
Now the storyline features Ronnie, who thinks she's the ruler of the alternative universe known as Walford, from behind the door of her shabby boxing club, giving Stacey her permission to re-enter the realms of fantasy that is Albert Square.
It's all about Kat as well, who's thrown caution and what's important to her to the wind, in the face of a brilliant scene with Alfie tonight, when he discarded a phonecall from creepy Jean, reminding Kat that Jean was doing what Kat should have been doing all along - protecting her children and leaving Skanky Stacey to her own dishonest devices.
Strange how Stacey's wandering around now whining about having killed Archie and wondering what to do. No one has the moral integrity to tell her to go to the police and confess. Instead, they mouth platitudes about how Archie was a bad man - so was Carl, but neither deserved to die - or how Bradley died for her sins.
Jesus Christ, the morality of this programme has been skewed beyond belief, when popular characters like Steve Owen and Dennis Rickman pay for taking lives with their own lives and Ronnie and Stacey will be left to trip the light fantastic in Walford.
I'm not mentioning Janine, who shouldn't even be on trial for murder. She killed in self-defence, and she killed a man who'd intended on poisoning her, who, five minutes before, had been choking the life from her and who would have stabbed her to death, had she not got the knife first. And she was arrested on a piece of evidence which was pure entrapment, was illegal and would be inadmissable in a court of law. What's highly ironic and insulting at the same time is that little over three years before in the case of Lauren taping Stacey's confession of murder, Max pointedly told Stacey that such evidence was not only inadmissable, it was illegal. Oh, well, that was Kirkwood, who played to a different gallery of drama queens.
I'm sorry, but Dom-Dom's Drama Queens want to grow a pair and face up to reality. You're being conned, and the show's going down the pan.
Anon Blonde.
So at last, Alfie's "really bad thing" that he did in Australia comes to light, and I'm still not sure what he did.
The Aussie woman who's shown up pursuing him looks like yet another man in drag, and she's just as dippy as Minty's S J. It seems that Alfie sweet-talked her out of fifteen thousand Australian dollars, which is roughly about 8,250 quid. Not a vast amount.
She appears to be a bit of a dipshit, following him all the way to London because she'd fallen in love with him, and they hadn't even kissed. WTF? Is she a bunny boiler? Now that would be a storyline, because his explanation to her of why he had to let her down meant nothing to her. And she's led him to believe that the fifteen grand is his if he just sleeps with her that one time.
If he thought he'd rid himself of her by returning all the way to the other side of the world, he should think again. What the internet couldn't provide in information about him, silly Spencer probably provided the address.
The scene where he was trying to talk himself into gigolo-ing himself out for an afternoon delight session with Nicole, with Billy, was as bad as Shane Richie's previous scene with Jessie Wallace was good. If he were intent on this and didn't feel that this dame was one egg short of a dozen, he could have told himself that he wasn't doing anything more than Kat had once done to him, but at the end of the day, Alfie isn't a moral cheat. A conman, yes, and a failed one, but he's no cheat.
Men Behaving Badly.
Aleks and Jake. Can you believe it? The fey bully who loves himself and the failed drunk, both of whom will probably be recruits in Ronnie's Army of Small Men with Big Dicks, and both will probably end up being her victims - or at least one will find out exactly what she is.
Since Lomas's contract expires in the summer, then I'm betting he's toast by then. I'm calling it that he becomes interested in Roxy, and Ronnie whips up Aleks's jealousy to such an extent that Jake ends up being brown bread.
Anyway, they're just two isolated male characters who are plot devices and who are expendable. Nothing to see here.
The Bigot and the Bovine.
Too bad the Masoods aren't Hindu. Then Shabnam could worship Jane as the Sacred Cow.
Jane's taste is in her mouth. Yuck. Not only does she want to paint the walls of the cafe institution grey, she wants to model Ian's up-market restaurant into an up-market, child-friendly version of McKlunkey's. Wait ... maybe when she was visiting her mother in the US, she stuffed her bovine face with high carbed junk food from every US kid's favourite up-market child-friendly restaurant.
Yes, that's right. Jane wants to open the UK's first Chuck E Cheese!
And now that she's about to die, they're moving Lucy more central to the operation. She wants to start her own business - a property-letting business, about which she knows everything from having worked for Janine, in a tightly controlled environment, for all of about four months before embezzling from her. Of course, Jane is just the business-minded individual with whom to discuss her plans, but naturally Ian is expected to fork over the money, and when he doesn't Jane the Judgemental comes down on him like a tonne of bricks.
If Jane is so keen for Lucy to start a business which needs a reasonable amount of capital, she should put her money where her mouth is or shut the fuck up interfering where she isn't wanted.
And she isn't wanted by Shabnam the bigot at the Masoods, her chief sin being leaving cold, used teabags in the sink. (I don't like that either it's a disgusting habit.)
This Shabnam is so totally different to the previous one she may as well be a new character altogether. I accept that a person may have a religious conversion in her life, but religion doesn't necessarily turn one into a creepy version of your mother. This Shabnam is simply Zainab minus thirty years and with a hijab, and it's interesting to note the clever way the writers have negotiated Shabnam's subversively racist dialogue after the fiasco of the first time. Shame, they can't be as clever about the rest of the show.
Dom-Dom's proving himself a bit of a dumb-dumb at the moment.
Oo-er, as Dot would say. And I'm not particularly interested in her scam either.
The False Messiah ...
... may swear blindly in any and all interviews that he's not going to rely on sensationalism and snigger into his cuffs something about explosions, but he's insulting the intelligence of the viewers who are turning off in favour of the seriously stupid and immature element who'd watch this show if it featured 30 minutes of the test signal ...
(Sexy times for your over-heated braincell, xTonix?)
Just as there are seven shades of grey, there are also at least seven shades of sensationalism, and many don't involve any sort of explosions, but quite honestly the way reality is being stretched under this Peter Pan of a producer is most likely making Julia Smith and Tony Holland puke in their respective graves.
At least more people than not are now recognising DTC for the fey and arrogant little manchild conman that he is.
At the public's expense.
The Killer's Blessing.
Time's a-tickin' ...
So two of the three murderin' wimmin have blessed the third. First, Janine blessed poor pitiful Saint Stacey of the Flared Nostrils with freedom from prosecution if Holy Mother Kat lied under oath about Alice killing Michael.
Now, the most cold-blooded killer of the trio, Roswell Ronnie ...
How stupid do those writers and Treadwell-Collins think the viewing public are? How fucking lazy are they? When the only adult in the room turns out to be Roxy Mitchell, the most emotionally retarded adult, bar Tina the Court Jester, in the programme, then you know the show is on a hiding to nothing.
Roxy was upset seeing Stacey back in Walford, bold as brass. That's normal, but Ronnie's argument against her anger didn't hold water. The question of Stacey's killing of Archie wouldn't involve anything that had transpired between Ronnie and Archie previously at all. The crime committed would be evaluated on the circumstances of the moment. At the time of Archie's murder, Stacey was totally unaware of the fact that he had raped Ronnie as a young adolescent (if he did, at all, and it was interesting that Ronnie should bring this doubt up to Roxy yet again; never forget that psychopaths are very adept manipulators and specialise in making themselves appear to be the victim); she was also unaware of the fact that Archie was a man dying of cancer, whose chemotherapy threatment had rendered him sterile.
But since Roxy is not the brightest lightbulb in the pack and she's easily swayed by Ronnie's manoeuvres, she backs down, but she isn't happy. At least, there's one person in Walford who won't be pleased with Stacey's return.
I enjoy seeing Ronnie riding high on her power kick, because I know that, as a villain, the higher she rides, the harder and more final her fall will be. And it will occur, sooner rather than later. Mark me.
What I haven't enjoyed about this totally absurd storyline is how the departure - perhaps for the final time - of one of the most interesting, nuanced and important legacy characters in the show's history is being hijacked to accommodate the return of a one trick pony character who caters only to her coterie of little mean-spirited fanbois. Janine has become almost incidental because this now is all about Stacey, and tonight, Ronnie got horned into the proceedings.
What's that about EastEnders not becoming The Stacey and Ronnie Show, Dom-Dom?
This storyline has featured a worried Stacey, who's suddenly developed a conscience about a girl she doesn't even know, not to mention her incredibly flaring nostrils; a cancer-ridden Carol, whose chemotherapy treatment is a slap in the face to anyone who's had to suffer that. With Tanya, chemo meant removing her hair extensions. With Carol, it means that the fine-haired Lindsey Coulson doesn't wash her hair for the duration of this storyline, making the greasy strands lie flat and matted against her skull, emulating baldness. One quick puke and Carol's back scoffing toast, quaffing champers, and banging on doors with the strength of Darth Vader. Once again, EastEnders gets cancer horribly and insultingly wrong.
Now the storyline features Ronnie, who thinks she's the ruler of the alternative universe known as Walford, from behind the door of her shabby boxing club, giving Stacey her permission to re-enter the realms of fantasy that is Albert Square.
It's all about Kat as well, who's thrown caution and what's important to her to the wind, in the face of a brilliant scene with Alfie tonight, when he discarded a phonecall from creepy Jean, reminding Kat that Jean was doing what Kat should have been doing all along - protecting her children and leaving Skanky Stacey to her own dishonest devices.
Strange how Stacey's wandering around now whining about having killed Archie and wondering what to do. No one has the moral integrity to tell her to go to the police and confess. Instead, they mouth platitudes about how Archie was a bad man - so was Carl, but neither deserved to die - or how Bradley died for her sins.
Jesus Christ, the morality of this programme has been skewed beyond belief, when popular characters like Steve Owen and Dennis Rickman pay for taking lives with their own lives and Ronnie and Stacey will be left to trip the light fantastic in Walford.
I'm not mentioning Janine, who shouldn't even be on trial for murder. She killed in self-defence, and she killed a man who'd intended on poisoning her, who, five minutes before, had been choking the life from her and who would have stabbed her to death, had she not got the knife first. And she was arrested on a piece of evidence which was pure entrapment, was illegal and would be inadmissable in a court of law. What's highly ironic and insulting at the same time is that little over three years before in the case of Lauren taping Stacey's confession of murder, Max pointedly told Stacey that such evidence was not only inadmissable, it was illegal. Oh, well, that was Kirkwood, who played to a different gallery of drama queens.
I'm sorry, but Dom-Dom's Drama Queens want to grow a pair and face up to reality. You're being conned, and the show's going down the pan.
Anon Blonde.
So at last, Alfie's "really bad thing" that he did in Australia comes to light, and I'm still not sure what he did.
The Aussie woman who's shown up pursuing him looks like yet another man in drag, and she's just as dippy as Minty's S J. It seems that Alfie sweet-talked her out of fifteen thousand Australian dollars, which is roughly about 8,250 quid. Not a vast amount.
She appears to be a bit of a dipshit, following him all the way to London because she'd fallen in love with him, and they hadn't even kissed. WTF? Is she a bunny boiler? Now that would be a storyline, because his explanation to her of why he had to let her down meant nothing to her. And she's led him to believe that the fifteen grand is his if he just sleeps with her that one time.
If he thought he'd rid himself of her by returning all the way to the other side of the world, he should think again. What the internet couldn't provide in information about him, silly Spencer probably provided the address.
The scene where he was trying to talk himself into gigolo-ing himself out for an afternoon delight session with Nicole, with Billy, was as bad as Shane Richie's previous scene with Jessie Wallace was good. If he were intent on this and didn't feel that this dame was one egg short of a dozen, he could have told himself that he wasn't doing anything more than Kat had once done to him, but at the end of the day, Alfie isn't a moral cheat. A conman, yes, and a failed one, but he's no cheat.
Men Behaving Badly.
Aleks and Jake. Can you believe it? The fey bully who loves himself and the failed drunk, both of whom will probably be recruits in Ronnie's Army of Small Men with Big Dicks, and both will probably end up being her victims - or at least one will find out exactly what she is.
Since Lomas's contract expires in the summer, then I'm betting he's toast by then. I'm calling it that he becomes interested in Roxy, and Ronnie whips up Aleks's jealousy to such an extent that Jake ends up being brown bread.
Anyway, they're just two isolated male characters who are plot devices and who are expendable. Nothing to see here.
The Bigot and the Bovine.
Too bad the Masoods aren't Hindu. Then Shabnam could worship Jane as the Sacred Cow.
Jane's taste is in her mouth. Yuck. Not only does she want to paint the walls of the cafe institution grey, she wants to model Ian's up-market restaurant into an up-market, child-friendly version of McKlunkey's. Wait ... maybe when she was visiting her mother in the US, she stuffed her bovine face with high carbed junk food from every US kid's favourite up-market child-friendly restaurant.
Yes, that's right. Jane wants to open the UK's first Chuck E Cheese!
If Jane is so keen for Lucy to start a business which needs a reasonable amount of capital, she should put her money where her mouth is or shut the fuck up interfering where she isn't wanted.
And she isn't wanted by Shabnam the bigot at the Masoods, her chief sin being leaving cold, used teabags in the sink. (I don't like that either it's a disgusting habit.)
This Shabnam is so totally different to the previous one she may as well be a new character altogether. I accept that a person may have a religious conversion in her life, but religion doesn't necessarily turn one into a creepy version of your mother. This Shabnam is simply Zainab minus thirty years and with a hijab, and it's interesting to note the clever way the writers have negotiated Shabnam's subversively racist dialogue after the fiasco of the first time. Shame, they can't be as clever about the rest of the show.
Dom-Dom's proving himself a bit of a dumb-dumb at the moment.
Oo-er, as Dot would say. And I'm not particularly interested in her scam either.
I wonder why Janine lied about Alice in the first place. Based on both of their statements it would have been plain that they both stabbed him to save Janine's life.
ReplyDeleteI saw on digital spy a comment where someone was happy that Janine is free and Stacey is able to stay. I have only been watching the show for a few years...and I don't get it.
I agree with your dislike of Stacey.