Sunday, March 2, 2014

The Stench of Brookside in the Morning

Bryan Kirkwood didn't hesitate to kill off the matriarch of Albert Square, Pat Evans.

But Dominic Treadwell-Collins, that elfinesque Peter Pannish manchild, who's got his ego's desire and is whipping up the fanbois' frenzy as EP of EastEnders has done worse.

Hot off the presses with his intent to kill off the daughter of one of the last two remaining original characters on the show, who's an important legacy character in her own right, comes the news that the show's original villain, Nick Cotton, is going to be killed ... and killed off-screen.

I'll be the first to admit that Nick outstayed his welcome ages ago, and really should have left as a recurring character twenty years ago, after he tried to poison Dot, but the idea of Nick Cotton being out there in soapworld someplace is still a tribute to the show's heritage.

Before we even saw Dot, we had Nick. Until the eternal victim, Stacey Slater, brained another retconned character, Archie Mitchell, and constructed a tissue of lies to explain away a guilt she'll never feel, Nick was the only EastEnders' character to get away with murder - twice.

Nick was responsible for the murder of the man featured in the very first scene of the very first episode on the show, Reg Cox. He later killed failed Vic landlord, Eddie Royle. For both murders, even though he confessed to one and we saw him commit the other, he was never punished - although he did see his child killed before his very eyes.

But for all of this, unlike the porcine Stacey, being pushed down the viewers' throats as some sort of heroine, Nick didn't give a rat's arse about his crimes. Even in his last pantomime appearance on the show, he was hiding behind a demon child, trying to kill his mother.

In the end, he was a joke, and his appearances were pure pantomime and made June Brown's head-bobbing panto act more apparent; but Nick was, indeed, an important part of the show's heritage, and along with the killing of Lucy Beale, this becomes obvious that Mr Treadwell-Collins is intent upon turning this programme into some sort of Millennial EastEnders, with his Shoreditchery and Sharon bitchery and pretty girl murderers running rampant and unpunished.

As soon as DTC almost gleefully announced that Lucy Beale's death would symbolise "the end of an era," I smelled the acrid stench of Brookside rotting amidst a welter of artificial tits, arse and pretty people behaving badly and acting amateurishly, with whole dollops of history strewn aside in order to fit unbelieveable storylines. 

Brookside lost its brand, and the same is happening to EastEnders, and when that happens, the rot sets in quickly.

I'll leave the last word to one of the few sensible viewers left who dare to comment on a forum and express an honest opinion of the state of the show, C Harper, who says:-

DTC seems to be shitting on the history of the show in order to make his mark by shocking us for a brief second. He's worse than Santer.

Ben Mitchell killed off for the 30th anniversary anyone?

No, not Ben. It wouldn't surprise me if it were Phil. One thing for certain, the "end of the era" remark means characters such as Ian, Sharon, Phil and Dot (few remaining) will be shunted into the background. Bianca has been turned into the chavs' representative of the Village Idiots' Union,and that 90s plot device, David Wicks, and someone who was essentially a background character with no morals, Carol Jackson, have been retconned as the Millennials' answer to Pat and Frank. As bloody if.

Welcome to the pretty world of Tiki Bars, divisive butch-bitch women and men born without balls ... Millennial EastEnders, EastEnders 2.0 ... designer made for the fanbois who hide their bullying tendencies behind Stacey avatars. No wonder the whiner Jay Lee fears ITV's aggressive scheduling. ITV smells the stench of Brookside in the morning also - emanating from Elstree. 

3 comments:

  1. Matthew Robinson is one of your favourites isn't he? What did you think of him killing Cindy off-screen?

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    1. If you read Matthew Robinson's interview he did some years ago on the old Walford Web, and it's online still, you'll see he was well within his right to kill off Michelle Collins's character. Collins made no secret about using the show as a cash cow between jobs. The first time she left, her career as a presenter on The Word with Terry Christian was an epic fail, and she returned to EastEnders. She left on maternity leave, choosing not to renew her contract, instead to follow her fortunes to ITV. Before the contract commenced, Robinson wanted her back for 3 days' filming for the birth of Cindy's baby and for the child to be handed over to Ian/Bev/Gina.

      Robinson bent over backward with calls to Collins's agent and to Collins, herself, wining and dining her and assuring her that they could film according to her schedule. They gave her a deadline to get back to them about the filming. The deadline passed and they extended it THREE TIMES. Finally, they could put this off no longer. Robinson told the writing room that if he hadn't heard from Collins by noon on a particular Friday, the character would be killed off-screen. The deadline came and went, and she was toast.

      The same with Martine McCutcheon, who wanted a contract which gave her six months on and six months off to pursue a film and singing career. Her contract wasn't renewed,and when she blithely told an interviewer that if she failed, she could always return to EastEnders, sh was toast too.

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  2. As soon as DTC almost gleefully announced that Lucy Beale's death would symbolise "the end of an era," I smelled the acrid stench of Brookside rotting amidst a welter of artificial tits, arse and pretty people behaving badly and acting amateurishly, with whole dollops of history strewn aside in order to fit unbelieveable storylines.

    Brookside lost its brand, and the same is happening to EastEnders, and when that happens, the rot sets in quickly.



    We have had lots of "an end of an era", the first major I can think of is Paulines death. There were probably more before then, but they werent so obvious, as there were others to cover the missing bits.

    About then is also when the rot started. You warned us about Bryan Kirkwood, and how he catered for the 18-25yo's, and how it nearly killed another soap (or it may have, I cant remember),

    Now, approaching its 30th, the rot has really set in, in fact, it is so bad I dont know how they are going to fix it. Anyone with a history longer than 5 mins has been killed off, or will be. Yes, there is the odd exception, but now, even they are not safe. By the time we get to the 40th, there will only be people in it who have been there a max of 2 years!

    NZ has its own crap soap called Shortland St. I havent watched it for about 10 years, but when I was forced to tune in one night recently, there was only one face in it I recognised. In fact, the show had changed that much, it was hardly recognisable at all! I really dont want to see this happen to EE.

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