The Messiah's off partying at Mardis Gras, a five-star holiday on the public's remit, probably garnering over the top ideas from the partyfest in New Orleans. We'll know that's so if Dean Wicks or Charlie Cotton pops up and Ian or Dot or Max or someone asks the ubiquitous question, Who dat?
Maybe Ronnie will start sticking pins in voodoo dolls or Stacey will return speaking in a sultry Southern accent. Why not replace the EastEnders' theme song with that of Gone with the Wind?
In the midst of what is supposed to be good storytelling, we've been presented with a past fortnight, which threw the ensemble motif to the wind, as we were all meant to bow from the waist at the return of a lying pig-faced little skank of a murderer who comes up with any and all kinds of justification for doing what she did, short of accepting the responsibility, herself. We've seen characters who've been redeemed under the piss poor tutelage of Newman (Kat, Billy) revert to their 2010 vile personages (Kat) or their quasi-comic 2008 persona of a loser (Billy Mitchell). All for nought.
The only magic DTC's accomplished is doing a Bobby Ewing on the past three years of the show, and reverting us to 2007 status. Shabnab has re-appeared as Zainab, except Zainab's homophobia has been replaced with good old-fashioned racism. And Ronnie and Stacey are calling the shots, with Shirley, arguably the most divisive character in the programme, is now being touted as the Queen of the Square.
And Sharon? After so many Twittered promises from Boy Wonder, she takes a backseat to the rest.
Well, as EgoBoy said, himself, this is the end of an era. And the end of a brand.
Blonde Ambition.
So Phil caught Sharon naming herself sole director of the new bar, and now he sulks because he doesn't trust her? Does he wonder why she did what she did? It just may very well have something to do with the fact that he finally admitted his (indirect) part in the death of her husband. He certainly should remember how he was consumed with guilt at the time.
Take a look at the two-minute mark. That's one helluva guilty man trying to assauge his conscience.
Of course, The Messiah will ensure that the Mitchells will always come out on top and especially with regard to Sharon. Those of us remember his tweet about bringing Sharon back big-time; then he'll have to put his ego elsewhere for the benefit of the show's history and remember that the Mitchells were created for Sharon and not the other way around.
In the mid-1990s (a period the Millennials hate referenced), Sharon walked away from Grant and affected him so much that her unseen presence hung over his second marriage like Banquuo's Ghost.
Indirectly or directly, Sharon always managed to get the better of the Mitchells,and for years, unknowingly, she had the better of Phil because Phil knew exactly why Dennis went to see Jonnie Allen that night, and in a fit of honesty, he told Sharon.
So why is he surprised and disgruntled that she would fanagle a piece of real estate and a position directorship from him? At the end of the day, Phil's influence on her immature husband deprived her son of a father. And set her on the road to perdition. Phil's actions have a domino effect.
Of course, tonight saw the return of the Blisters. It seems that Roxy, in her haste to leave Eye-BEE-fer, has picked up the wrong child. Amy looks different, but she still isn't speaking and she's still being carried around like a toddler. Allegedly, she speaks later in the week. Let's hope it tops her predecessor's effort last summer:-
Bad man come.
(Hardly the vocabulary of a five year-old. Let's hope they can remember that she's in the entry class at Walford Primary and not at nursery).
Roxy brings good tidings of great joy - well, DTC does have a Messiah tendancy - and that message is what we all knew - that Ronnie is a functioning psychopath. This has nothing to do with her background of abuse and everything to do with what she's been like since she was born. Psychopathy is ofttimes an inherited trait - cf: Michael Moon.
It seems now that the Blisters can never go back to Eye-BEE-fer now, because Ronnie glassed an off-duty Spanish policeman in the face. (Remember, Ronnie loves glassing people too - like, her own sister). She spent a night in the cells and returned, smiling, as if nothing had happened.
Another titbit of information - that Amy is now scared shitless of her. Are we to infer that DTC has been following the infamous career of Joanne Dennehy, in making Ronnie the man-emasculator of the Square? Add to the fact that Ronnie just looks weird this time around, even more of an alien than before. The creepy bag of presents she brought, including the lippy for Sharon. I don't blame Sharon for her ultimatum, especially after Ronnie snapped about Dennis's toy getting on her nerves. Sharon is looking after her child's safety.
And I was right about Aleks being attracted to Roxy. Rumours are out about how Ronnie's behaviour becomes even more erratic and controlling, especially toward Roxy and whom she can and cannot see. I'm sure that Ronnie's in line for being one of the suspects for the killing of Lucy Beale. If she doesn't kill Lucy, she'll probably kill Aleks, a loner without family or antecedents and expendable ... and a man.
I'm also amazed that RoNostril has managed to buy the boxing gym with the £20k she lifted from the money Phil got for the Vic. The only good thing about this transformation of a deeply unpleasant and unlikeable character, who has an unhealthy following amongst the lower spectrum of stupid teenaged girls, is that taking her down the villain trail means she has a definably short shelf life. But then I remember that DTC is a manchild who likes over-egging the icing in order to overdose on marzipan.
Liar Liar Pants on Fire.
It's now official. Kat is obtuse and stupid. It's Alfie's birthday, his 50th birthday, and she doesn't understand that he's more than a little upset that she's told a major lie to the police about Alice's part in Michael's murder.
Look, I'm not saying Alice is innocent. She's far from innocent. She's guilty of conspiracy to murder and kidnap. She's guilty of assault. But actual murder? Nope. Yet Kat is willing to sacrifice a young girl whom she mentored to more than a decade in prison just so Skanky Slater can come back to Walford and skank around once more.
After all, Skanky Slater is the real star of the show.
And she's blind to a point Alfie raised: how is she going to explain herself to Carol and to Bianca when they find out what she's done?
What's interesting me more is the letter from Australia Alfie received. I don't think it's from a woman. Watch this space.
The Retconned Couple, Cancer and Shoreditch.
It's really hard to feel any sympathy for Carol, she's such an unpleasant human being to begin with. And now that she's been diagnosed with BRCA2, we can expect more diva antics, beginning in the consultant's office with Carol dramatically wondering about a double mastectomy as well as having her ovaries removed. She's even wondering if her daughters will have to do the same.
Over-egg over-egg over-egg ...
Stop this!
If you're BRCA2 positive, you do NOT have to have a double-mastectomy or have your ovaries ripped out if you don't have cancer. If you're diagnosed with the gene and you haven't suffered cancer yet, it just means the medical authorities monitor you more closely. You have to attend regular check-ups and assessments, ensuring that any diagnosis is an early one. As for Carol, there was a lump found with a cancer cluster that had not spread either to her lymph nodes or to her second breast. Depending on the success of the chemotherapy, a mastectomy may not be necessary, especially if the cancer has not spread to the lymph nodes.
What the fuck am I saying? I've had breast cancer. I know.
There is no mastectomy if the cancer hasn't spread to the nodes. Not ever. Not even with BRCA2. But this is Dominic Treadwell-Collins here, and we're going to see poor pitiful Carol, a prickly unpleasant character to begin with, hardly suffering from the effects of chemo and with only minimal hair loss, gallavanting around Walford, drinking, working - and oddly, not puking (chemo does that to you), and one feels the over-egged tragedy of BRCA2 is done for the same reason the cancer cold was given to Tanya - to make people like her, to add to the great myth of the love story that never was and make all the Millennials go awwwwwwwwww at David and Carol and their midlife crisis teenaged love affair.
It's a load of bullshit. It's an opportunity for Natalie Cassidy to do that tragic stricken martyr look that's become so boring, and we know she'll be the one who'll get the gene and who'll opt, for a totally impossible elective operation on the NHS to remove her boobs and her ovaries so she can skip over to Tina's house and make the court jester her bitch.
In fact, I'm waiting for Cassidy's Sidney Carton moment.
Can't you just hear Sonia, picture her with those sad tragic eyes gazing forelornly into the distance as she says,
Hit is a far far be'urgh fing Ah do van Ah have ever done. Gettin' me boobs whacked off means vey won't ever'ave ter sag. Innit?
Does she ever work?
At least we got a glimpse of the Shoreditchification of Walford tonight in the trendy cafe where David took Carol after her diagnosis.
And how stupid is Bianca, buying processed tripe food for her chavvy kids only to have daddy David encourage the overly pubescent Tiffany to google what goes into chicken nuggets and then blame the jobless Lola for enticing Tiffany not to eat. Bianca really is the Village Idiot, just as Billy Mitchell's reverted to the total loser who thinks nothing of stealing from his employer.
Speaking of which ...
Another Fine Mess.
Ian Beale is another to suffer at the hands of the Messiah.
Why wouldn't any owner of a business be annoyed that someone who isn't even employed by him taking responsibility for buying dodgy produce for his cafe. Yes, we know that Sonia is distracted by Carol's problem, but she is also a trained and educated professional and should have enough common sense to know that you don't buy hand-peddled knock-off fish fingers from the likes of Billy Mitchell or Big Mo to sell to the public. Ian was well within his right to tick her off. Yes, Carol is ill, but Sonia's decision could have resulted from the entire Square who partook of fish fingers on Ian's premises being taken ill with ptomaine poisoning. The Department of 'Elf'n Safety would then be called in, the cafe would be shut down, Carol would be out of a job and Ian (and Sonia) would be prosecuted.
Not only is he an ogre in that sense of the word, he's being touted as the big bad wolf in the boring pregnancy storyline.
Hands up, anyone who feels sorry for that entitled little ladyboy scrote Hairy Cindy the Greek. Hark, is that an Adam's apple I spied in her throat? The voice indicates that the testes have dropped, and TPTB should really stop the close-ups because the razor stubble is going to start soon.
This is a totally unnecessary character who's only interacted in a pejorative way with other characters, who's only been on the scene a matter of minutes and who's pregnant by another piss-faced youth about whom we know nothing. Do we care? This child inveigled herself into Ian's household because she didn't want to move to Plymouth with her grandmother and her aunt, her legal guardians. And to the assholes on various fora whining that just because Bev Williams and Gina are her guardians they don't necessarily love the little bitch ...
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Cindy was a much-loved child, whose aunt and grandmother wanted to raise her as she's the child of their dead sister and daughter. Gina Williams begged Ian for the opportunity to raise the child. The fact that they are re-locating to Portugal and want her with them is out of love and concern for her.
And he attitude toward Ian sucks. She's lucky he was a soft-touch enough to allow her to stay in his home. That must have taken some talking around Bev and Gina. And she literally got away with a theft of £10K from Phil Mitchell. That's grand theft larceny. Had he gone to the Old Bill, her hairy arse would have been locked away in some young offenders' prison. As was, Ian did nothing; instead, she got a holiday to visit her grandmother and aunt, coming back to badmouth them.
It's clear she expects to pop the sprog and then to have Ian assume all sorts of financial obligation to a child of another child, both of whom have nothing to do with him. Ian all too well remembers the consequences of Cindy's mother's actions against his own life. He owes her the skin off her arse.
And Ian could very well ensure she goes back to her grandmother. A phonecall to Bev and Gina and an appearance by either or both of them would do the trick. Cindy is a minor and cannot decide her fate. If she refused either to return to Plymouth or to go with her guardians, were I Ian, I'd call Social Services. Let her go into care.
Mimi Keene is no better, and certainly no worse than Hetti Bywater. If Cindy's daughter by Ian is being killed off, then her daughter by Nick Holland should scarper as well.
As I said before, this little toerag is no Michelle Fowler. She isn't even a Lola Pearce.
Good, only because the Mitchells are back, but not good in that it's now morphing into The RoNostril Show ... or The Twilight Zone.
Maybe Ronnie will start sticking pins in voodoo dolls or Stacey will return speaking in a sultry Southern accent. Why not replace the EastEnders' theme song with that of Gone with the Wind?
In the midst of what is supposed to be good storytelling, we've been presented with a past fortnight, which threw the ensemble motif to the wind, as we were all meant to bow from the waist at the return of a lying pig-faced little skank of a murderer who comes up with any and all kinds of justification for doing what she did, short of accepting the responsibility, herself. We've seen characters who've been redeemed under the piss poor tutelage of Newman (Kat, Billy) revert to their 2010 vile personages (Kat) or their quasi-comic 2008 persona of a loser (Billy Mitchell). All for nought.
The only magic DTC's accomplished is doing a Bobby Ewing on the past three years of the show, and reverting us to 2007 status. Shabnab has re-appeared as Zainab, except Zainab's homophobia has been replaced with good old-fashioned racism. And Ronnie and Stacey are calling the shots, with Shirley, arguably the most divisive character in the programme, is now being touted as the Queen of the Square.
And Sharon? After so many Twittered promises from Boy Wonder, she takes a backseat to the rest.
Well, as EgoBoy said, himself, this is the end of an era. And the end of a brand.
Blonde Ambition.
So Phil caught Sharon naming herself sole director of the new bar, and now he sulks because he doesn't trust her? Does he wonder why she did what she did? It just may very well have something to do with the fact that he finally admitted his (indirect) part in the death of her husband. He certainly should remember how he was consumed with guilt at the time.
Take a look at the two-minute mark. That's one helluva guilty man trying to assauge his conscience.
Of course, The Messiah will ensure that the Mitchells will always come out on top and especially with regard to Sharon. Those of us remember his tweet about bringing Sharon back big-time; then he'll have to put his ego elsewhere for the benefit of the show's history and remember that the Mitchells were created for Sharon and not the other way around.
In the mid-1990s (a period the Millennials hate referenced), Sharon walked away from Grant and affected him so much that her unseen presence hung over his second marriage like Banquuo's Ghost.
Indirectly or directly, Sharon always managed to get the better of the Mitchells,and for years, unknowingly, she had the better of Phil because Phil knew exactly why Dennis went to see Jonnie Allen that night, and in a fit of honesty, he told Sharon.
So why is he surprised and disgruntled that she would fanagle a piece of real estate and a position directorship from him? At the end of the day, Phil's influence on her immature husband deprived her son of a father. And set her on the road to perdition. Phil's actions have a domino effect.
Of course, tonight saw the return of the Blisters. It seems that Roxy, in her haste to leave Eye-BEE-fer, has picked up the wrong child. Amy looks different, but she still isn't speaking and she's still being carried around like a toddler. Allegedly, she speaks later in the week. Let's hope it tops her predecessor's effort last summer:-
Bad man come.
(Hardly the vocabulary of a five year-old. Let's hope they can remember that she's in the entry class at Walford Primary and not at nursery).
Roxy brings good tidings of great joy - well, DTC does have a Messiah tendancy - and that message is what we all knew - that Ronnie is a functioning psychopath. This has nothing to do with her background of abuse and everything to do with what she's been like since she was born. Psychopathy is ofttimes an inherited trait - cf: Michael Moon.
It seems now that the Blisters can never go back to Eye-BEE-fer now, because Ronnie glassed an off-duty Spanish policeman in the face. (Remember, Ronnie loves glassing people too - like, her own sister). She spent a night in the cells and returned, smiling, as if nothing had happened.
Another titbit of information - that Amy is now scared shitless of her. Are we to infer that DTC has been following the infamous career of Joanne Dennehy, in making Ronnie the man-emasculator of the Square? Add to the fact that Ronnie just looks weird this time around, even more of an alien than before. The creepy bag of presents she brought, including the lippy for Sharon. I don't blame Sharon for her ultimatum, especially after Ronnie snapped about Dennis's toy getting on her nerves. Sharon is looking after her child's safety.
And I was right about Aleks being attracted to Roxy. Rumours are out about how Ronnie's behaviour becomes even more erratic and controlling, especially toward Roxy and whom she can and cannot see. I'm sure that Ronnie's in line for being one of the suspects for the killing of Lucy Beale. If she doesn't kill Lucy, she'll probably kill Aleks, a loner without family or antecedents and expendable ... and a man.
I'm also amazed that RoNostril has managed to buy the boxing gym with the £20k she lifted from the money Phil got for the Vic. The only good thing about this transformation of a deeply unpleasant and unlikeable character, who has an unhealthy following amongst the lower spectrum of stupid teenaged girls, is that taking her down the villain trail means she has a definably short shelf life. But then I remember that DTC is a manchild who likes over-egging the icing in order to overdose on marzipan.
Liar Liar Pants on Fire.
It's now official. Kat is obtuse and stupid. It's Alfie's birthday, his 50th birthday, and she doesn't understand that he's more than a little upset that she's told a major lie to the police about Alice's part in Michael's murder.
Look, I'm not saying Alice is innocent. She's far from innocent. She's guilty of conspiracy to murder and kidnap. She's guilty of assault. But actual murder? Nope. Yet Kat is willing to sacrifice a young girl whom she mentored to more than a decade in prison just so Skanky Slater can come back to Walford and skank around once more.
After all, Skanky Slater is the real star of the show.
And she's blind to a point Alfie raised: how is she going to explain herself to Carol and to Bianca when they find out what she's done?
What's interesting me more is the letter from Australia Alfie received. I don't think it's from a woman. Watch this space.
The Retconned Couple, Cancer and Shoreditch.
It's really hard to feel any sympathy for Carol, she's such an unpleasant human being to begin with. And now that she's been diagnosed with BRCA2, we can expect more diva antics, beginning in the consultant's office with Carol dramatically wondering about a double mastectomy as well as having her ovaries removed. She's even wondering if her daughters will have to do the same.
Over-egg over-egg over-egg ...
Stop this!
If you're BRCA2 positive, you do NOT have to have a double-mastectomy or have your ovaries ripped out if you don't have cancer. If you're diagnosed with the gene and you haven't suffered cancer yet, it just means the medical authorities monitor you more closely. You have to attend regular check-ups and assessments, ensuring that any diagnosis is an early one. As for Carol, there was a lump found with a cancer cluster that had not spread either to her lymph nodes or to her second breast. Depending on the success of the chemotherapy, a mastectomy may not be necessary, especially if the cancer has not spread to the lymph nodes.
What the fuck am I saying? I've had breast cancer. I know.
There is no mastectomy if the cancer hasn't spread to the nodes. Not ever. Not even with BRCA2. But this is Dominic Treadwell-Collins here, and we're going to see poor pitiful Carol, a prickly unpleasant character to begin with, hardly suffering from the effects of chemo and with only minimal hair loss, gallavanting around Walford, drinking, working - and oddly, not puking (chemo does that to you), and one feels the over-egged tragedy of BRCA2 is done for the same reason the cancer cold was given to Tanya - to make people like her, to add to the great myth of the love story that never was and make all the Millennials go awwwwwwwwww at David and Carol and their midlife crisis teenaged love affair.
It's a load of bullshit. It's an opportunity for Natalie Cassidy to do that tragic stricken martyr look that's become so boring, and we know she'll be the one who'll get the gene and who'll opt, for a totally impossible elective operation on the NHS to remove her boobs and her ovaries so she can skip over to Tina's house and make the court jester her bitch.
In fact, I'm waiting for Cassidy's Sidney Carton moment.
Can't you just hear Sonia, picture her with those sad tragic eyes gazing forelornly into the distance as she says,
Hit is a far far be'urgh fing Ah do van Ah have ever done. Gettin' me boobs whacked off means vey won't ever'ave ter sag. Innit?
Does she ever work?
At least we got a glimpse of the Shoreditchification of Walford tonight in the trendy cafe where David took Carol after her diagnosis.
And how stupid is Bianca, buying processed tripe food for her chavvy kids only to have daddy David encourage the overly pubescent Tiffany to google what goes into chicken nuggets and then blame the jobless Lola for enticing Tiffany not to eat. Bianca really is the Village Idiot, just as Billy Mitchell's reverted to the total loser who thinks nothing of stealing from his employer.
Speaking of which ...
Another Fine Mess.
Ian Beale is another to suffer at the hands of the Messiah.
Why wouldn't any owner of a business be annoyed that someone who isn't even employed by him taking responsibility for buying dodgy produce for his cafe. Yes, we know that Sonia is distracted by Carol's problem, but she is also a trained and educated professional and should have enough common sense to know that you don't buy hand-peddled knock-off fish fingers from the likes of Billy Mitchell or Big Mo to sell to the public. Ian was well within his right to tick her off. Yes, Carol is ill, but Sonia's decision could have resulted from the entire Square who partook of fish fingers on Ian's premises being taken ill with ptomaine poisoning. The Department of 'Elf'n Safety would then be called in, the cafe would be shut down, Carol would be out of a job and Ian (and Sonia) would be prosecuted.
Not only is he an ogre in that sense of the word, he's being touted as the big bad wolf in the boring pregnancy storyline.
Hands up, anyone who feels sorry for that entitled little ladyboy scrote Hairy Cindy the Greek. Hark, is that an Adam's apple I spied in her throat? The voice indicates that the testes have dropped, and TPTB should really stop the close-ups because the razor stubble is going to start soon.
This is a totally unnecessary character who's only interacted in a pejorative way with other characters, who's only been on the scene a matter of minutes and who's pregnant by another piss-faced youth about whom we know nothing. Do we care? This child inveigled herself into Ian's household because she didn't want to move to Plymouth with her grandmother and her aunt, her legal guardians. And to the assholes on various fora whining that just because Bev Williams and Gina are her guardians they don't necessarily love the little bitch ...
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Cindy was a much-loved child, whose aunt and grandmother wanted to raise her as she's the child of their dead sister and daughter. Gina Williams begged Ian for the opportunity to raise the child. The fact that they are re-locating to Portugal and want her with them is out of love and concern for her.
And he attitude toward Ian sucks. She's lucky he was a soft-touch enough to allow her to stay in his home. That must have taken some talking around Bev and Gina. And she literally got away with a theft of £10K from Phil Mitchell. That's grand theft larceny. Had he gone to the Old Bill, her hairy arse would have been locked away in some young offenders' prison. As was, Ian did nothing; instead, she got a holiday to visit her grandmother and aunt, coming back to badmouth them.
It's clear she expects to pop the sprog and then to have Ian assume all sorts of financial obligation to a child of another child, both of whom have nothing to do with him. Ian all too well remembers the consequences of Cindy's mother's actions against his own life. He owes her the skin off her arse.
And Ian could very well ensure she goes back to her grandmother. A phonecall to Bev and Gina and an appearance by either or both of them would do the trick. Cindy is a minor and cannot decide her fate. If she refused either to return to Plymouth or to go with her guardians, were I Ian, I'd call Social Services. Let her go into care.
Mimi Keene is no better, and certainly no worse than Hetti Bywater. If Cindy's daughter by Ian is being killed off, then her daughter by Nick Holland should scarper as well.
As I said before, this little toerag is no Michelle Fowler. She isn't even a Lola Pearce.
Good, only because the Mitchells are back, but not good in that it's now morphing into The RoNostril Show ... or The Twilight Zone.
Stay in hospital next time. Your writing's getting worse.
ReplyDeleteThis episode did Sharon no favors whatsoever. 1st the sneaky contract - for which she actually smirked at when confronted by Phil - I thought that was out of character.
ReplyDeleteNext was the 'I'm a nasty bitch' routine stopping Denny from having the 'violent' game. Then came the blackmail attempt along with the "I don't want you under 'my' roof - for the sake of Denny".
Now I can totally understand the bit about living with Ronnie but it's how they've turned her into a deeply unpleasant and neurotic Mom.
As for Ronnie's return - WTF ? The whole cab/market scene - how many more times are they gonna use this "look at who's back - looking red hot" Not !
Its an insult to the viewers intelligence that whenever a murder is committed on EastEnders that blood soaked evidence is kept in the living room cupboard of the murderer.
ReplyDeleteIt truly takes the piss. Let alone that it is the Mitchell household who have always had dodgy lawyers wrapped around them.
It stinks !