Polyfilla. Except for the Cottons, the rest of the episode was ever decreasing circles, with the duff-duff so inevitable that I stifled a yawn. When the show fires on all cylinders, it's unmissable. I know every filler episode can't be the bees' knees, but just how many Carter pub dos do we need? And, please God, send us Martin Fowler to roar in the smackable face of the unlikeable Tina and to abandon Sonia to her miserable fate worse than death. Get these two women off the screen.
More Cotton-Picking. Nick continues to hold this one together. John Altman plays this thing as though there's no tomorrow, and he doesn't give a damn. If anyone ever told me I'd be watching this programme for Nick Cotton, I'd have spewed my cup of tea, but I am.
The situation at the Cotton-Branning household is farcical in its extreme. How much now do we need to be convinced that Yvonne and Charlie are not at all what they seemed. This is black comedy at its best, gallows humour, and June Brown is matching John Altman in her portrayal.
Fatboy's departure was quite poignant, in revealing to the audience something we already knew - that Dot was more comfortable and secure in the company of strangers, or with her stepfamily, the Brannings, than she ever was with any of her own. (Hard to believe that Max and Carol are step-siblings to Nick, and that Charlie is their nephew). Fatboy was Dot's one tenuous secure link, and without him, she's at the mercy of Charlie and Yvonne, who've literally become her jailers in their urgent effort to raise 10 grand to rid the family of Nick.
Dot, on the other hand, seems to have undergone a Stockholme Syndrome reversal with regards to Nick. He's her son, after all, her only child. Yvonne and Charlie want him gone by Christmas, yet Dot wants him to stay for one last Christmas. Later, when she sees him in his trademark old black coat, they share a moment of tenderness. Once again, Dot knows Nick. It's dawned on her now that she doesn't know either Charlie or Yvonne, who's come up with the assumption that they have to make 300 quid a day in order to get the sums together for Nick. The way Yvonne said that, as if it's the most natural thing in the world to accomplish, makes me want to look askance at her again. She's not what she appears to be; instead, she's a bowdlerised, pejorative version of Mrs Doyle, a rising old lag and a dishonest woman. For the moment, Dot's standing up to these people, but how long will that last?
Good to see she's still giving Charlie short shrift.
I want YOU to stay out of my sight.
And good continuity from Jeff Povey, remembering Nick's racist tendencies in calling Fatboy an immigrant, even reckoning that he'd been called worse.
Watching Yvonne and Charlie piss themselves to raise the money to rid the world and Walford of Nick Cotton is a weird storyline - so strange, that I can't help but think that it's going to be related in some way to the resolution of Lucy's death. It's obvious that, at some point in time, Yvonne/Charlie/Ronnie will attempt to kill Nick (after all, Ronnie's killed before) and Dot will, of course, discover the plot. Ronnie and Charlie are still high on my suspect list for being Lucy's killers - well, Ronnie certainly is. Or perhaps Nick will discover what they did to Lucy, or even what Ronnie did to Carl White. Carl may have been an unpopular character, but EastEnders never has a murder happen without reason, and it won't be forgotten. I'm saying murder, not an unplanned accidental death at a car lot.
The Mitchells, Cottons and Beales being connected in the longest-running storyline of the year should be a given.
The Big Easy Brannings.Nothing new here. Max brooding at a table over his latest piece of skirt, a bimbo so wet and dimwitted that she makes Tanya look like Einstein. Abi bombs an interview - is there nothing at which she can succeed? Oh, but it's never Abi's fault. This time, she doffed the interview because she ran into Ben, who's still annoyed about her lie about his "girlfriend." Abi couldn't get that job anyway - it's off the Square, so she'll probably end up in the Launderette, whilst Dot's being held hostage or waiting tables at Beale's when her sister and Peter scarper later on for whatever reason.
I take it Abi took it upon herself to ring Dummerhayes and make things right with Max. Max needs to watch Charlie at the car lot. Someone in need of a lot of money is bound to dip his hand into the till. Max's honesty with Dummerhayes doesn't extend to telling her that his ex-wife buried him alive, that his oldest child died, branded a murderer, having married one and that his oldest daughter tried to kill him as well. He wants to meet her parents, and she looked less than willing for that ... just like ...
A Load of Old Tosh. Tina making cows' eyes at miserable Sonia, who doesn't spend any part of the day sleeping when she's supposed to be working nights, and she's still trash-talking Martin. I'm bored with Tina and Tosh and the trials of meeting Tosh's parents. She's another one reluctant of the prospect. Perhaps Tosh and Dummerhayes should make themselves scarce the day the parents of each show up for Max and Tina to impress them with their wit.
Quite frankly, I couldn't care less about either of these two unlikeable women. I don't care who hits whom or who cheats on whom. I'm pissed off at whiney, moaning Sonia hanging around like a bad smell and banging on and on about this charity nude calendar, which is a gimmick to afford yet another shedding of clothing, which seems to have become part and parcel of this show. Brookside, people, remember that one?
A Pregnant Pause. Hands up, all y'all who didn't see this happening, and then, hands up, all y'all, who see it for what it really is ... yet another "who's the daddy" variation.
Yes, folks, from the man who gave you Hev's BabyDaddy being Darren, we now come down to the nitty gritty of who is the father of Linda's baby. The Carters were little more than children, themselves, when they had their kids, and it's more than a bit incongruent, watching Mick go broody and look at baby photos, acting like the middle-aged man he isn't. As much as I like the character, Danny Dyer's deliberate delivery, which almost sounds like subtle passive-aggressiveness, regarding Linda, talking to her as if she's almost an imbecile (We ... can ... do ... dis ... togevvah, L ... I ... gotcher ... back, L ... Are ... you ... hearin' ... me, L ... I ... was ... just ... rememberin' ... L ), combined with his incessant Cockney rhyming slang, is beginning to do my head in.
Months ago, Mick was adamant about not wanting another child. These people have had children around their ankles since before they were out of school uniforms, themselves. They've never had a moment of their adult time together when they didn't have children, and now they're wanting more? The irony of this is that he wants a child, and she's not sure if this baby is his or Lee's. That will be the crux and gist of the rape storyline - the pregnancy and the uncertainty of the child's paternity.
Prior to Linda's rape, we had successive scenes of Mick and Linda in bed, in the afterglow of having had sex. So much so, that people complained about the number of times we saw the same repetitive scene. Then the rape occurred. The law of averages says Mick should be the daddy, but the law of averages said the same thing about Sean Slater re Amy, when he slept with Roxy repeatedly and she got pregnant on a one-off from Jack.
Either way, this baby, due about June, which is about the time, I imagine, that Matt di Angelo will bow out, will be Shirley's grandchild, so the paternity really doesn't matter in the general scheme of things. If it's Dean's, she'll want all the more to do for it, in order to make up for having failed Dean. If it's Mick's, she'll want all the more to do for it, to make up for shying her identity as Mick's mother. In the end, it will be all about Shirley anyway. I'm betting that the kid ends up being Mick's - another Carter to add to the bunch.
Babe's another whispering bitch. Go. Now.
Lee hates Dexter, so Lee's risen in my estimation.
Why is Dexter, universally hated by the viewing audience, even there, bringing down the legend that is Nancy Carter?
Apart from the Cottons, which is becoming a gallows' comedy, nothing to brag about.
More Cotton-Picking. Nick continues to hold this one together. John Altman plays this thing as though there's no tomorrow, and he doesn't give a damn. If anyone ever told me I'd be watching this programme for Nick Cotton, I'd have spewed my cup of tea, but I am.
The situation at the Cotton-Branning household is farcical in its extreme. How much now do we need to be convinced that Yvonne and Charlie are not at all what they seemed. This is black comedy at its best, gallows humour, and June Brown is matching John Altman in her portrayal.
Fatboy's departure was quite poignant, in revealing to the audience something we already knew - that Dot was more comfortable and secure in the company of strangers, or with her stepfamily, the Brannings, than she ever was with any of her own. (Hard to believe that Max and Carol are step-siblings to Nick, and that Charlie is their nephew). Fatboy was Dot's one tenuous secure link, and without him, she's at the mercy of Charlie and Yvonne, who've literally become her jailers in their urgent effort to raise 10 grand to rid the family of Nick.
Dot, on the other hand, seems to have undergone a Stockholme Syndrome reversal with regards to Nick. He's her son, after all, her only child. Yvonne and Charlie want him gone by Christmas, yet Dot wants him to stay for one last Christmas. Later, when she sees him in his trademark old black coat, they share a moment of tenderness. Once again, Dot knows Nick. It's dawned on her now that she doesn't know either Charlie or Yvonne, who's come up with the assumption that they have to make 300 quid a day in order to get the sums together for Nick. The way Yvonne said that, as if it's the most natural thing in the world to accomplish, makes me want to look askance at her again. She's not what she appears to be; instead, she's a bowdlerised, pejorative version of Mrs Doyle, a rising old lag and a dishonest woman. For the moment, Dot's standing up to these people, but how long will that last?
Good to see she's still giving Charlie short shrift.
I want YOU to stay out of my sight.
And good continuity from Jeff Povey, remembering Nick's racist tendencies in calling Fatboy an immigrant, even reckoning that he'd been called worse.
Watching Yvonne and Charlie piss themselves to raise the money to rid the world and Walford of Nick Cotton is a weird storyline - so strange, that I can't help but think that it's going to be related in some way to the resolution of Lucy's death. It's obvious that, at some point in time, Yvonne/Charlie/Ronnie will attempt to kill Nick (after all, Ronnie's killed before) and Dot will, of course, discover the plot. Ronnie and Charlie are still high on my suspect list for being Lucy's killers - well, Ronnie certainly is. Or perhaps Nick will discover what they did to Lucy, or even what Ronnie did to Carl White. Carl may have been an unpopular character, but EastEnders never has a murder happen without reason, and it won't be forgotten. I'm saying murder, not an unplanned accidental death at a car lot.
The Mitchells, Cottons and Beales being connected in the longest-running storyline of the year should be a given.
The Big Easy Brannings.Nothing new here. Max brooding at a table over his latest piece of skirt, a bimbo so wet and dimwitted that she makes Tanya look like Einstein. Abi bombs an interview - is there nothing at which she can succeed? Oh, but it's never Abi's fault. This time, she doffed the interview because she ran into Ben, who's still annoyed about her lie about his "girlfriend." Abi couldn't get that job anyway - it's off the Square, so she'll probably end up in the Launderette, whilst Dot's being held hostage or waiting tables at Beale's when her sister and Peter scarper later on for whatever reason.
I take it Abi took it upon herself to ring Dummerhayes and make things right with Max. Max needs to watch Charlie at the car lot. Someone in need of a lot of money is bound to dip his hand into the till. Max's honesty with Dummerhayes doesn't extend to telling her that his ex-wife buried him alive, that his oldest child died, branded a murderer, having married one and that his oldest daughter tried to kill him as well. He wants to meet her parents, and she looked less than willing for that ... just like ...
A Load of Old Tosh. Tina making cows' eyes at miserable Sonia, who doesn't spend any part of the day sleeping when she's supposed to be working nights, and she's still trash-talking Martin. I'm bored with Tina and Tosh and the trials of meeting Tosh's parents. She's another one reluctant of the prospect. Perhaps Tosh and Dummerhayes should make themselves scarce the day the parents of each show up for Max and Tina to impress them with their wit.
Quite frankly, I couldn't care less about either of these two unlikeable women. I don't care who hits whom or who cheats on whom. I'm pissed off at whiney, moaning Sonia hanging around like a bad smell and banging on and on about this charity nude calendar, which is a gimmick to afford yet another shedding of clothing, which seems to have become part and parcel of this show. Brookside, people, remember that one?
A Pregnant Pause. Hands up, all y'all who didn't see this happening, and then, hands up, all y'all, who see it for what it really is ... yet another "who's the daddy" variation.
Yes, folks, from the man who gave you Hev's BabyDaddy being Darren, we now come down to the nitty gritty of who is the father of Linda's baby. The Carters were little more than children, themselves, when they had their kids, and it's more than a bit incongruent, watching Mick go broody and look at baby photos, acting like the middle-aged man he isn't. As much as I like the character, Danny Dyer's deliberate delivery, which almost sounds like subtle passive-aggressiveness, regarding Linda, talking to her as if she's almost an imbecile (We ... can ... do ... dis ... togevvah, L ... I ... gotcher ... back, L ... Are ... you ... hearin' ... me, L ... I ... was ... just ... rememberin' ... L ), combined with his incessant Cockney rhyming slang, is beginning to do my head in.
Months ago, Mick was adamant about not wanting another child. These people have had children around their ankles since before they were out of school uniforms, themselves. They've never had a moment of their adult time together when they didn't have children, and now they're wanting more? The irony of this is that he wants a child, and she's not sure if this baby is his or Lee's. That will be the crux and gist of the rape storyline - the pregnancy and the uncertainty of the child's paternity.
Prior to Linda's rape, we had successive scenes of Mick and Linda in bed, in the afterglow of having had sex. So much so, that people complained about the number of times we saw the same repetitive scene. Then the rape occurred. The law of averages says Mick should be the daddy, but the law of averages said the same thing about Sean Slater re Amy, when he slept with Roxy repeatedly and she got pregnant on a one-off from Jack.
Either way, this baby, due about June, which is about the time, I imagine, that Matt di Angelo will bow out, will be Shirley's grandchild, so the paternity really doesn't matter in the general scheme of things. If it's Dean's, she'll want all the more to do for it, in order to make up for having failed Dean. If it's Mick's, she'll want all the more to do for it, to make up for shying her identity as Mick's mother. In the end, it will be all about Shirley anyway. I'm betting that the kid ends up being Mick's - another Carter to add to the bunch.
Babe's another whispering bitch. Go. Now.
Lee hates Dexter, so Lee's risen in my estimation.
Why is Dexter, universally hated by the viewing audience, even there, bringing down the legend that is Nancy Carter?
Apart from the Cottons, which is becoming a gallows' comedy, nothing to brag about.
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