Stand up, Lindsey Coulson and John Altman! This episode was yours, proof positive that the best remains from the early days of EastEnders. This episode was an absolute hoot, thanks to John Altman.
He's playing Nick as a totally camp tour de force. I've never genuinely laughed so much at EastEnders. It's gallows humour, and it's the sort of humour that works on this programme, nothing forced or contrived.
Without a doubt, the line of the night was ~ Don't you think I should go "Boo"?~ And every line uttered thereafter was positively Nick. This was Nick's episode, and this is Nick's best return for ages. That's why I fear he saved the best for last.
Old Nick. So what did we learn about Nick, and - more importantly - about Charlie? Well, we learned that there was a robbery, and the money that obviously provided for Les's pay-off, Charlie's swish car and the repayment of Bianca's debt came from Charlie's share of the loot, which is no more. It looks as though Nick's share of the loot is no more either, which is why he's shown up.
Some other observations ...
You're almost as good a liar to Ma as me.
Yes, in that respect, Charlie's a chip off the old block. I wonder what his part in the robbery was? Was he a willing participant? Was the robbery his idea? I loved the way Nick creeped even the psychopath known as Ronnie out, revealing just how much he knew about their arrangement.
I been watchin' you, all loved up, and your sister with that foreign geezer.
Colin Wyatt outdid himself with some of the camp dialogue in this piece. It truly was hilarious.
Charlie: I've got nothing.
Nick (showing scan picture): No, but yer missus has. I assume this is yours.
Ronnie: You've been in my house.
Nick: I can go anywhere I want.
The absolute best line, however, came from Charlie. during the discussion with Ronnie about how and where to get the 10 grand Nick wanted. Ronnie reckoned that telling Dot the truth was the best way out of this situation. That way, in her rationale, Nick could do nothing. Then Charlie dropped the absolute clanger:-
But you don't understand! It's because of me that he's had to be dead!
That was an absolute howler, and if you didn't know better, you'd swear this was some sort of black comedy sitcom. Even Ronnie was given a chance to utter a line which, in the cold light of day, may have referred to Nick, but was in every way a description of her own, and possibly Charlie's, psychopathy, when she remarked upon Nick charming his way into everyone's life and then twisting everything to suit his purpose. Sound familiar, Ron?
Ronnie can't get her hands on 10 grand within a few hours (where she could previously), but she's not too good to go to Mr MoneyBags, himself, Phil, who always has that kind of cash lying about. Ronnie really has no scruples at all. She brings someone into her family, about whom Phil, the nominal head, disapproves, and yet she expects Phil to snap to attention.
I liked seeing that domestic scenes between Phil and Sharon, interrupted by Charlie's begging visit to Phil. Now Phil not only thinks that Charlie's a copper, he thinks - like Jack - that he's a bent copper. Nice twist that Phil got one over on Charlie, and - by extension and unbeknownst to Phil - on Nick. Sharon might have remarked that Charlie was brave enough to front Phil out, but Phil was having none of Charlie getting the better of him. Or Ronnie. Phil knows too much about Ronnie's dark doings.
Bottom line: Charlie should have counted the dosh and not have trusted Phil. That twist in the tale was bloody brilliant and totally, typically Phil. Phil would never let a bent copper get the better of him, much less the spawn of Nick Cotton.
Dotty Dot. If Phil is Mr MoneyBags, Dot is Mrs BobbleHead, and June Brown was in total bobblehead mode tonight. This is the Dot I like the least - full of herself and her pride, smarming and giddy over the "news" Charlie has for Dot, something which she orchestrated herself. Ne'mind that Ronnie's been her previous stepdaughter-in-law, ne'mind that Ronnie's kidnapped a child and shown no remorse or overseen the exile of Dot's favourite stepson, again with no remorse, Ronnie's now oart and parcel of TeamDot, complete with Dot's bragging to Arthur that she's going to be a great-grandmother.
Once again, this was true to traditional EastEnders' form. Once Dot's pride gets the better of her, she's always afforded a humongous fall with a bang, and bang it was tonight, right in her rubbish bin and stuck in a piece of chocolate roll - a cigarette, the brand of which Nick smokes. Classic duff-duff in the "poor Dot" mode.
The One Where Carol Should Have Smacked Sonia's Arse. Could Sonia get anymore vile? She really is a selfish bitch, and Carol would have been well within her rights to bounce her around the Square with various smacks and slaps. She was well and truly out of order in her behaviour, and she was frightening and still manipulating Rebecca.
First, she storms into Carol's house, mindless of the fact that her mother is still recovering from cancer surgery, both physically and emotionally, then when Rebecca reveals to Carol what Sonia has said to her, Sonia tries to make her daughter out to be a liar. I was totally TeamCarol tonight. Rebecca shows up, totally determined to leave Sonia, which says a lot for Sonia. As soon as Rebecca tells Carol that she's being used as a tool by which to keep Martin in a marriage, Carol springs into action.
She argues Rebecca's corner, and the totally vile bitch that Sonia's become pretends to go along with Carol's encouragement in a subtle way of making Rebecca feel guilty and smarming her into wanting to stay.
Yes, Carol has been selfish in the past, especially when she's lost a man, in relation to her behaviour with Bianca. Yes, Bianca has been selfish as well, putting what she wants, lots of time, before what her children want; but Sonia is far, far worse in this situation. I don't think either Carol or Bianca would have stood in the way of any of their children going after an education that would hone and nurture a natural talent.
Sonia says Martin's changed and so has she. Why is she so determined to stay with a man she badmouths at every opportunity and to whom she's been unfaithful since she decided to patch up her marriage? I'm glad Carol called her out on the fact that she'd been reeking of booze. She certainly downed her share of the stuff when she was with Tina, and was it me or did Carol seem to think that there might be something between Sonia and Kush? I'm glad Carol wanted to hear Martin's side of this story.
At the end of all that, Carol really should have reached out and smacked the living shit out of Sonia for that grande finale performance and in front of Rebecca. Yes, Carol had four children by four men; but she was with Alan for some years, and he gave her children his name. She also lived with Robbie's dad for a time - in fact, they were engaged, and David flitted in and out of her life. She was also engaged to Dan. In fact, the only brief association with a man which resulted in a pregnancy for Carol was the one night stand with Terry Cant (wonderful name), which resulted in the wonder that is Sonia. And maybe that is Sonia's beef ... and thinking about it, maybe the mystery man with ties to the Square who's about to appear, isn't Shirley's Andy at all, but rather Sonia's father, whom she never knew.
For Sonia to accuse Carol of making Rebecca's situation all about Carol was a total joke. This dilemma was all about Rebecca, because it was her future, and rather than Carol making it all about her, Sonia ensured that it was all about Sonia.
Still, she was wrong to accuse Carol of such a lifestyle, because first and foremost, Carol was a mother who remained with her children.
Sonia is a bitch. And an unlikeable one, at that.
Speaking of Bitches ... First, there's Tina and Tosh, who can take a running jump off a short pier, for all I care. Tosh is holed up in the flat, feeling supremely sorry for herself for not being pregnant. I'm surprised that Tina and Tosh are even a couple, because they're both sublimely selfish and self-centred people. Tosh keeps calling Tina, because misery always wants company, whilst Tina has shrugged off Tosh's nap and is drinking up the profits of the Vic and not playing darts with Johnny. See? She can't even tell the truth to Tosh - she said she was at work, and playing darts with Johnny, when - like Sonia - the smell of booze gave her away.
To her credit, Tosh is too smart to see through the platitudes that Tina's offering. She knows, deep down, that Tina doesn't give a rat's arse about having a family, that she never gave a rat's arse about her own daughter. Why Tina should take umbrage at a home truth about her non-parenting skills and her relationship with Zsa Zsa? She smacks Tosh and Tosh clobbers her. Why am I not bothered? These two should just go off someplace and beat each other out of existence. They wouldn't be missed.
Then there's Abi, thinking that Ben's attention is all about helping Abi, when Abi is, yet again, a tool in Ben's eventual seduction of Johnny. Abi thinks she was dumped for Lola the last time. What will she think when she's dumped for a bloke?
Great episode.
He's playing Nick as a totally camp tour de force. I've never genuinely laughed so much at EastEnders. It's gallows humour, and it's the sort of humour that works on this programme, nothing forced or contrived.
Without a doubt, the line of the night was ~ Don't you think I should go "Boo"?~ And every line uttered thereafter was positively Nick. This was Nick's episode, and this is Nick's best return for ages. That's why I fear he saved the best for last.
Old Nick. So what did we learn about Nick, and - more importantly - about Charlie? Well, we learned that there was a robbery, and the money that obviously provided for Les's pay-off, Charlie's swish car and the repayment of Bianca's debt came from Charlie's share of the loot, which is no more. It looks as though Nick's share of the loot is no more either, which is why he's shown up.
Some other observations ...
You're almost as good a liar to Ma as me.
Yes, in that respect, Charlie's a chip off the old block. I wonder what his part in the robbery was? Was he a willing participant? Was the robbery his idea? I loved the way Nick creeped even the psychopath known as Ronnie out, revealing just how much he knew about their arrangement.
I been watchin' you, all loved up, and your sister with that foreign geezer.
Colin Wyatt outdid himself with some of the camp dialogue in this piece. It truly was hilarious.
Charlie: I've got nothing.
Nick (showing scan picture): No, but yer missus has. I assume this is yours.
Ronnie: You've been in my house.
Nick: I can go anywhere I want.
The absolute best line, however, came from Charlie. during the discussion with Ronnie about how and where to get the 10 grand Nick wanted. Ronnie reckoned that telling Dot the truth was the best way out of this situation. That way, in her rationale, Nick could do nothing. Then Charlie dropped the absolute clanger:-
But you don't understand! It's because of me that he's had to be dead!
That was an absolute howler, and if you didn't know better, you'd swear this was some sort of black comedy sitcom. Even Ronnie was given a chance to utter a line which, in the cold light of day, may have referred to Nick, but was in every way a description of her own, and possibly Charlie's, psychopathy, when she remarked upon Nick charming his way into everyone's life and then twisting everything to suit his purpose. Sound familiar, Ron?
Ronnie can't get her hands on 10 grand within a few hours (where she could previously), but she's not too good to go to Mr MoneyBags, himself, Phil, who always has that kind of cash lying about. Ronnie really has no scruples at all. She brings someone into her family, about whom Phil, the nominal head, disapproves, and yet she expects Phil to snap to attention.
I liked seeing that domestic scenes between Phil and Sharon, interrupted by Charlie's begging visit to Phil. Now Phil not only thinks that Charlie's a copper, he thinks - like Jack - that he's a bent copper. Nice twist that Phil got one over on Charlie, and - by extension and unbeknownst to Phil - on Nick. Sharon might have remarked that Charlie was brave enough to front Phil out, but Phil was having none of Charlie getting the better of him. Or Ronnie. Phil knows too much about Ronnie's dark doings.
Bottom line: Charlie should have counted the dosh and not have trusted Phil. That twist in the tale was bloody brilliant and totally, typically Phil. Phil would never let a bent copper get the better of him, much less the spawn of Nick Cotton.
Dotty Dot. If Phil is Mr MoneyBags, Dot is Mrs BobbleHead, and June Brown was in total bobblehead mode tonight. This is the Dot I like the least - full of herself and her pride, smarming and giddy over the "news" Charlie has for Dot, something which she orchestrated herself. Ne'mind that Ronnie's been her previous stepdaughter-in-law, ne'mind that Ronnie's kidnapped a child and shown no remorse or overseen the exile of Dot's favourite stepson, again with no remorse, Ronnie's now oart and parcel of TeamDot, complete with Dot's bragging to Arthur that she's going to be a great-grandmother.
Once again, this was true to traditional EastEnders' form. Once Dot's pride gets the better of her, she's always afforded a humongous fall with a bang, and bang it was tonight, right in her rubbish bin and stuck in a piece of chocolate roll - a cigarette, the brand of which Nick smokes. Classic duff-duff in the "poor Dot" mode.
The One Where Carol Should Have Smacked Sonia's Arse. Could Sonia get anymore vile? She really is a selfish bitch, and Carol would have been well within her rights to bounce her around the Square with various smacks and slaps. She was well and truly out of order in her behaviour, and she was frightening and still manipulating Rebecca.
First, she storms into Carol's house, mindless of the fact that her mother is still recovering from cancer surgery, both physically and emotionally, then when Rebecca reveals to Carol what Sonia has said to her, Sonia tries to make her daughter out to be a liar. I was totally TeamCarol tonight. Rebecca shows up, totally determined to leave Sonia, which says a lot for Sonia. As soon as Rebecca tells Carol that she's being used as a tool by which to keep Martin in a marriage, Carol springs into action.
She argues Rebecca's corner, and the totally vile bitch that Sonia's become pretends to go along with Carol's encouragement in a subtle way of making Rebecca feel guilty and smarming her into wanting to stay.
Yes, Carol has been selfish in the past, especially when she's lost a man, in relation to her behaviour with Bianca. Yes, Bianca has been selfish as well, putting what she wants, lots of time, before what her children want; but Sonia is far, far worse in this situation. I don't think either Carol or Bianca would have stood in the way of any of their children going after an education that would hone and nurture a natural talent.
Sonia says Martin's changed and so has she. Why is she so determined to stay with a man she badmouths at every opportunity and to whom she's been unfaithful since she decided to patch up her marriage? I'm glad Carol called her out on the fact that she'd been reeking of booze. She certainly downed her share of the stuff when she was with Tina, and was it me or did Carol seem to think that there might be something between Sonia and Kush? I'm glad Carol wanted to hear Martin's side of this story.
At the end of all that, Carol really should have reached out and smacked the living shit out of Sonia for that grande finale performance and in front of Rebecca. Yes, Carol had four children by four men; but she was with Alan for some years, and he gave her children his name. She also lived with Robbie's dad for a time - in fact, they were engaged, and David flitted in and out of her life. She was also engaged to Dan. In fact, the only brief association with a man which resulted in a pregnancy for Carol was the one night stand with Terry Cant (wonderful name), which resulted in the wonder that is Sonia. And maybe that is Sonia's beef ... and thinking about it, maybe the mystery man with ties to the Square who's about to appear, isn't Shirley's Andy at all, but rather Sonia's father, whom she never knew.
For Sonia to accuse Carol of making Rebecca's situation all about Carol was a total joke. This dilemma was all about Rebecca, because it was her future, and rather than Carol making it all about her, Sonia ensured that it was all about Sonia.
Still, she was wrong to accuse Carol of such a lifestyle, because first and foremost, Carol was a mother who remained with her children.
Sonia is a bitch. And an unlikeable one, at that.
Speaking of Bitches ... First, there's Tina and Tosh, who can take a running jump off a short pier, for all I care. Tosh is holed up in the flat, feeling supremely sorry for herself for not being pregnant. I'm surprised that Tina and Tosh are even a couple, because they're both sublimely selfish and self-centred people. Tosh keeps calling Tina, because misery always wants company, whilst Tina has shrugged off Tosh's nap and is drinking up the profits of the Vic and not playing darts with Johnny. See? She can't even tell the truth to Tosh - she said she was at work, and playing darts with Johnny, when - like Sonia - the smell of booze gave her away.
To her credit, Tosh is too smart to see through the platitudes that Tina's offering. She knows, deep down, that Tina doesn't give a rat's arse about having a family, that she never gave a rat's arse about her own daughter. Why Tina should take umbrage at a home truth about her non-parenting skills and her relationship with Zsa Zsa? She smacks Tosh and Tosh clobbers her. Why am I not bothered? These two should just go off someplace and beat each other out of existence. They wouldn't be missed.
Then there's Abi, thinking that Ben's attention is all about helping Abi, when Abi is, yet again, a tool in Ben's eventual seduction of Johnny. Abi thinks she was dumped for Lola the last time. What will she think when she's dumped for a bloke?
Great episode.
No comments:
Post a Comment