I was being generous in my seven out of ten rating tonight.
This was the effort from a man who's just won a major achievement award. The continuity was atrocious. If such stuff had passed muster under Kirkwood or Newman, the vultures would be sweeping. Even the twist in Dot's tale didn't bite.
I really don't know where to begin, the episode has left me so gobsmacked at its overall cack-handedness. Let's begin with ...
The Bleeding Obvious. That would be Mick's doubts resolved, but - and I know people are going to jump down my gullet, but I have to say it - they needed one big, fatretcon to establish the fact that the newest Carter is, indeed, Mick's son.
Of course, Mick needed to know Dean's blood group. All blood group information will tell you is who the father isn't. Mick was right. His blood group was O, the baby's was O and so was Linda's. If Dean's blood group were O, then further tests would have had to be done to establish paternity, but first, Mick needed Dean's blood group information.
Up pops Shirley, who says that Dean was tested years ago after Jimbo died.
Read that again: Dean was tested years ago after Jimbo died.
Do you need that again? Here it is: Dean was tested years ago after Jimbo died. Mick reiterated this - repetition for emphasis - to Linda later on that (his words) Shirley had them all tested "after Jimbo."
Here are several things that makes all of the above a blatant retcon. First watch this from 2006.
- When Shirley settled on the Square in 2007, it was established that she had left her three children when Jimbo was six, Carly was three and Dean was a baby. In fact, as evidenced in the clips above, neither Dean not Carly even recognised Shirley nor did they know who she was.
- Jimbo died when he was 21, in 2001. Dean would have been fourteen or fifteen years old, and Shirley had been long gone. If you refer to one of those clips, Shirley didn't even attend his funeral, and no one knew where she was, as evidenced by this poignant clip from Kevin's death scene:-
As you can see from the last bit, Jimbo died calling for his mother, so how could Shirley order up all these so-called medical tests at the time of Jimbo's death or even after it, if she weren't around? And that leads me to another point:-
- Cystic fibrosis has nothing to do with blood or blood groups. It's a genetic disease of the lungs and genetic system. It's caused by a mutated gene, which is carried by the child's mother or father or even both. Yes, blood spot tests are done to determine if infants have inherited the disease, but that sort of blood testing is done when the child is a baby. Carly and Dean could, as adults be genetically tested to see if either were carriers of the gene, and that may have been done after Jimbo's death, but certainly Shirley wasn't around for that. That would have been Kevin, and the only person who could have been tested at that time would have been Carly, who would have been eighteen at Jimbo's death, and an adult. Dean would have had to have waited three more years. And custic fibrosis manifests itself in very young children. Dean and Carly wouldn't suddenly acquire the condition during adolescence.
I can't believe Dean is twenty-seven and has never had blood work done. The simplest thing to have done would have been for Mick to traipse back to the hospital with Dean, Shirley and Buster in tow and for Dean to have had the work done there and then, even paying privately for quick results. If Dean were so determined to know the baby's paternity, he would have done so, or - at least - Shirley and Buster could have tried to make him, but I get it that Dean was fantasizing again, and using the baby as a lever with which to goad Linda in the future. Even Shirley was playing along or even believing it, reminding him that Linda would get custody of the child.
Dean's modus operandi is his jealousy of Mick, but the entire Carter backstory, including the long-established non-history Shirley has had with her three children, is an ever-changing mishmash, and quite frankly, this fairy tale tonight that Shirley was around when her adult son died of a condition he'd had all his life, and at that point, she went about ordering blood tests for the lot of them, is an insult to viewers' intelligence. It was only a few weeks ago that Shirley broke down and told of how she couldn't bear watching the treatment a very young Jimbo had to endure for his cystic fibrosis. She viewed his condition as punishment for her sins and she abandoned her young family because of that.
Jesus Christ, what does that say about the writing room, when senior writers can't evn get major characters' backstories correct from week to week?
In point of fact, retconning aside, Shirley was just about the best part of an otherwise dire episode. The fish-and-chips meal scene was a classic, and it's shown just how much of a good young actor Matt di Angelo has become. Dean instantly went from wanting to play the doting father to trying to convince himself that he didn't give a rat's ass about a kid for whom he was going to start a savings account. He told some pretty dire and accurate home truths as well at that table, sat there with Shirley and Buster - calling Shirley out for pushing her children away and abandoning them, whilst all the time favouring Mick; then calling out Buster for caring only about himself, loving them and leaving them and walking in, assuming to play the role of father figure.
Dean, himself, is so destroyed by his rejection issues, that he's past the point of caring about anyone but himself. He clearly doesn't care anymore about Shirley, which was shown by the way he roughly shoved her to the floor. As for Shirley, she's on a hiding to nothing. Yes, she's lost Mick, and she'll continue to lose him as long as she fights Dean's corner and continues to view Linda as the liar in all of this. Of course, Mick is looking out for his immediate family, and that does not include the brace of Carter refugees at the B and B, horning off Patrick's hospitality, as long as they are batting for Dean. Shirley's in a no-win situation. Of course, she shouldn't have to choose between Mick and Dean, but she needs to face up to the fact that Dean is lying. She's in an atrocious dilemma.
Karl Howson's facial expressions were one of the best thing about this piece. It's obvious that he's so not sure of whether or not Dean is telling the truth, and in the end, he ends up humouring him, in reiterating that he didn't want to get tied down with a child.
The Not So Bleeding Obvious. Wow, no wonder Imzamam has left Fatima. Not only has she thrown off the burkha and dresses more liberally than Shabham, she was dotting about the place, geeing Shabnam up about her prospective beau, she's pretty frank about him:-
In my day, he would be what we would call "hot," and I've had more than a few of those.
And she chose Imzamam? And why do all these prospective suitors and brides looking for husbands who land their arses at the Masoods' all turn out to be Geordies? I quite like Asim. Apparently, from his remarks about his "practice", he's a doctor. If Zainab had been there, she'd have been in his lap with excitement. Of course, Shabnam is in love with Kush, but Asim's remarks about children rattle her, which provokes the secret conversation with Fatima which throws up yet another red flag this evening. (Really, you'd think EastEnders would learn).
Fatima knows that the baby left on her doorstep was Shabnam's. I wonder if Imzamam knows? Obviously not, because a herd of horses wouldn't have stopped him marching around to the Masoods' in person, morally triumphant and full of self-righteous indignation that only the daughter of a fallen woman could have abandoned a child born out of wedlock. However, Fatima said she was in touch with Shabnam's daughter only long enough to see her settled with her ... here it comes ... adoptiveparents.
There she goes, she said it. Adoptive.
Been there, done that, read the book, saw the movie and bought the teeshirt with Chloe-Rebecca. Adoptions, done through Social Services, are closed. There is no way Fatima would have known the identities of the child's adoptive family unless the adoption were done privately, and unless Fatima and Imzamam could have proven that the child was their familial responsibility, the couldn't have had her adopted privately within their community. Instead, what was the likely outcome, was that they offered to look after the child as foster carers until either the mother could be found or until she was adopted, but in the latter instant, they would not, could not have known the adoptive parents' identities.
So here we'll have, again, birth parents tracking down and stalking a child and the family in which she's been integrated, demanding that she be returned to them - Dean, Shabnam, Shirley playing aggressive, Masood aided and abetted by Jane. It simply doesn't bear thinking about, it's so bad. This child is seven years old. She's been given a new name, and enfolded in a loving family. Her birth relatives, even with cack-handed but good intentions, cannot get her back.
They simply can't.
And now we hone in on Shabnam's and Fatima's conversation. Fatima asked Shabnam if the child's father were someone with whom she could settle down, and Shabnam was aghast. Fatima didn't know his identity. She then asked if Kush would have accepted the child, and again Shabnam is unsure.
So when she comes upon Dean at the allotments, and Dean's musing about how he could have been a good dad, Shabnam, who seems to lack one brain cell, immediately assumes that Fatima has told Dean, when she promised Shabnam that she wouldn't.
Simple question: Fatima doesn't know and has never heard of Dean Wicks. How could she have told him about Shabnam and the child? Is she possessing of omniscient psychic powers?
No, the simple answer is that this is just one piece of bad continuity that was glaring.
The Latest Psychopath. Ronnie wonders how Vincent got her mobile number. Well, I'm wondering how the name "Carl White" popped up on her smartphone. Smartphones are smart, but they're not that smart. Unless you have someone's name and number in your telephone book, anyone who hasn't called you will simply pop up as a number with no name, but there it was ... "Carl White" calling. Did Ronnie have Carl's old number? Did Vincent hack into her phone? Or is this simply another corner cut to fit the plot?
Vincent's a joke. He and Phil are Shrek and Donkey trying to do drama, and Donkey's failing. In football terminology, a "donkey" is a hulking, lumbering, awkward player. Well, Richard Blackwood is EastEnders' donkey. He's too fey to be dangerous, but he rattled Roswell Ronnie, and he echoed Michael Moon's pyschopath identity remark when he quipped that it took one to know one, when he told her how he'd sussed that she was the one who'd killed Carl White.
I'm no fan of this bad actor and meh character, but I was glad someone has balls enough to call Ronnie out on her entitlement. She's still snapping her fingers and expecting Phil to jump as well.
I hope she leaves in a box.
Dot and Sharon. First things first ... why did Sharon skip out on hearing Dot's sentencing? She was there for the verdict, but then mysteriously disappeared. I hate the way DTC has promoted her as a central character, yet can only show her as someone in the background. Either put up the character or shut up about how "this year is Sharon's year."
As for Dot's sentence, she got fourteen months for manslaughter. As Fatboy remarked, she'd served part of that time anyway - she's served 3 months, which means she'll only have another 4 months to serve, in reality. I suspect this will explain June Brown's reduced appearance schedule and answer the question of where Dot is in the coming months. At least Rob Gittins managed to remember that the last time Dot was away for a length of time, she almost lost her house, with her admonishing Arthur to keep the rent paid. (What about Charlie?) And she doesn't want to lose her job. What is happening with the launderette? Cora's gone and Dot's in jail. Anyone thought of that?
Their Cheesiest Worst. I like the core Carters - Mick, Linda, Lee and Nancy - but oh, my godfathers! when Lee and Nancy began singing "Oliver" in honour of the newest Carter's name, I wanted to barf. The group hug was too much.
Not the best of episodes, for the obvious reasons. Sloppy and shoddily written, shot through with bad continuity re-arranged and retconned to suit the storyline.
This was the effort from a man who's just won a major achievement award. The continuity was atrocious. If such stuff had passed muster under Kirkwood or Newman, the vultures would be sweeping. Even the twist in Dot's tale didn't bite.
I really don't know where to begin, the episode has left me so gobsmacked at its overall cack-handedness. Let's begin with ...
The Bleeding Obvious. That would be Mick's doubts resolved, but - and I know people are going to jump down my gullet, but I have to say it - they needed one big, fatretcon to establish the fact that the newest Carter is, indeed, Mick's son.
Of course, Mick needed to know Dean's blood group. All blood group information will tell you is who the father isn't. Mick was right. His blood group was O, the baby's was O and so was Linda's. If Dean's blood group were O, then further tests would have had to be done to establish paternity, but first, Mick needed Dean's blood group information.
Up pops Shirley, who says that Dean was tested years ago after Jimbo died.
Read that again: Dean was tested years ago after Jimbo died.
Do you need that again? Here it is: Dean was tested years ago after Jimbo died. Mick reiterated this - repetition for emphasis - to Linda later on that (his words) Shirley had them all tested "after Jimbo."
Here are several things that makes all of the above a blatant retcon. First watch this from 2006.
- When Shirley settled on the Square in 2007, it was established that she had left her three children when Jimbo was six, Carly was three and Dean was a baby. In fact, as evidenced in the clips above, neither Dean not Carly even recognised Shirley nor did they know who she was.
- Jimbo died when he was 21, in 2001. Dean would have been fourteen or fifteen years old, and Shirley had been long gone. If you refer to one of those clips, Shirley didn't even attend his funeral, and no one knew where she was, as evidenced by this poignant clip from Kevin's death scene:-
As you can see from the last bit, Jimbo died calling for his mother, so how could Shirley order up all these so-called medical tests at the time of Jimbo's death or even after it, if she weren't around? And that leads me to another point:-
- Cystic fibrosis has nothing to do with blood or blood groups. It's a genetic disease of the lungs and genetic system. It's caused by a mutated gene, which is carried by the child's mother or father or even both. Yes, blood spot tests are done to determine if infants have inherited the disease, but that sort of blood testing is done when the child is a baby. Carly and Dean could, as adults be genetically tested to see if either were carriers of the gene, and that may have been done after Jimbo's death, but certainly Shirley wasn't around for that. That would have been Kevin, and the only person who could have been tested at that time would have been Carly, who would have been eighteen at Jimbo's death, and an adult. Dean would have had to have waited three more years. And custic fibrosis manifests itself in very young children. Dean and Carly wouldn't suddenly acquire the condition during adolescence.
I can't believe Dean is twenty-seven and has never had blood work done. The simplest thing to have done would have been for Mick to traipse back to the hospital with Dean, Shirley and Buster in tow and for Dean to have had the work done there and then, even paying privately for quick results. If Dean were so determined to know the baby's paternity, he would have done so, or - at least - Shirley and Buster could have tried to make him, but I get it that Dean was fantasizing again, and using the baby as a lever with which to goad Linda in the future. Even Shirley was playing along or even believing it, reminding him that Linda would get custody of the child.
Dean's modus operandi is his jealousy of Mick, but the entire Carter backstory, including the long-established non-history Shirley has had with her three children, is an ever-changing mishmash, and quite frankly, this fairy tale tonight that Shirley was around when her adult son died of a condition he'd had all his life, and at that point, she went about ordering blood tests for the lot of them, is an insult to viewers' intelligence. It was only a few weeks ago that Shirley broke down and told of how she couldn't bear watching the treatment a very young Jimbo had to endure for his cystic fibrosis. She viewed his condition as punishment for her sins and she abandoned her young family because of that.
Jesus Christ, what does that say about the writing room, when senior writers can't evn get major characters' backstories correct from week to week?
In point of fact, retconning aside, Shirley was just about the best part of an otherwise dire episode. The fish-and-chips meal scene was a classic, and it's shown just how much of a good young actor Matt di Angelo has become. Dean instantly went from wanting to play the doting father to trying to convince himself that he didn't give a rat's ass about a kid for whom he was going to start a savings account. He told some pretty dire and accurate home truths as well at that table, sat there with Shirley and Buster - calling Shirley out for pushing her children away and abandoning them, whilst all the time favouring Mick; then calling out Buster for caring only about himself, loving them and leaving them and walking in, assuming to play the role of father figure.
Dean, himself, is so destroyed by his rejection issues, that he's past the point of caring about anyone but himself. He clearly doesn't care anymore about Shirley, which was shown by the way he roughly shoved her to the floor. As for Shirley, she's on a hiding to nothing. Yes, she's lost Mick, and she'll continue to lose him as long as she fights Dean's corner and continues to view Linda as the liar in all of this. Of course, Mick is looking out for his immediate family, and that does not include the brace of Carter refugees at the B and B, horning off Patrick's hospitality, as long as they are batting for Dean. Shirley's in a no-win situation. Of course, she shouldn't have to choose between Mick and Dean, but she needs to face up to the fact that Dean is lying. She's in an atrocious dilemma.
Karl Howson's facial expressions were one of the best thing about this piece. It's obvious that he's so not sure of whether or not Dean is telling the truth, and in the end, he ends up humouring him, in reiterating that he didn't want to get tied down with a child.
The Not So Bleeding Obvious. Wow, no wonder Imzamam has left Fatima. Not only has she thrown off the burkha and dresses more liberally than Shabham, she was dotting about the place, geeing Shabnam up about her prospective beau, she's pretty frank about him:-
In my day, he would be what we would call "hot," and I've had more than a few of those.
And she chose Imzamam? And why do all these prospective suitors and brides looking for husbands who land their arses at the Masoods' all turn out to be Geordies? I quite like Asim. Apparently, from his remarks about his "practice", he's a doctor. If Zainab had been there, she'd have been in his lap with excitement. Of course, Shabnam is in love with Kush, but Asim's remarks about children rattle her, which provokes the secret conversation with Fatima which throws up yet another red flag this evening. (Really, you'd think EastEnders would learn).
Fatima knows that the baby left on her doorstep was Shabnam's. I wonder if Imzamam knows? Obviously not, because a herd of horses wouldn't have stopped him marching around to the Masoods' in person, morally triumphant and full of self-righteous indignation that only the daughter of a fallen woman could have abandoned a child born out of wedlock. However, Fatima said she was in touch with Shabnam's daughter only long enough to see her settled with her ... here it comes ... adoptiveparents.
There she goes, she said it. Adoptive.
Been there, done that, read the book, saw the movie and bought the teeshirt with Chloe-Rebecca. Adoptions, done through Social Services, are closed. There is no way Fatima would have known the identities of the child's adoptive family unless the adoption were done privately, and unless Fatima and Imzamam could have proven that the child was their familial responsibility, the couldn't have had her adopted privately within their community. Instead, what was the likely outcome, was that they offered to look after the child as foster carers until either the mother could be found or until she was adopted, but in the latter instant, they would not, could not have known the adoptive parents' identities.
So here we'll have, again, birth parents tracking down and stalking a child and the family in which she's been integrated, demanding that she be returned to them - Dean, Shabnam, Shirley playing aggressive, Masood aided and abetted by Jane. It simply doesn't bear thinking about, it's so bad. This child is seven years old. She's been given a new name, and enfolded in a loving family. Her birth relatives, even with cack-handed but good intentions, cannot get her back.
They simply can't.
And now we hone in on Shabnam's and Fatima's conversation. Fatima asked Shabnam if the child's father were someone with whom she could settle down, and Shabnam was aghast. Fatima didn't know his identity. She then asked if Kush would have accepted the child, and again Shabnam is unsure.
So when she comes upon Dean at the allotments, and Dean's musing about how he could have been a good dad, Shabnam, who seems to lack one brain cell, immediately assumes that Fatima has told Dean, when she promised Shabnam that she wouldn't.
Simple question: Fatima doesn't know and has never heard of Dean Wicks. How could she have told him about Shabnam and the child? Is she possessing of omniscient psychic powers?
No, the simple answer is that this is just one piece of bad continuity that was glaring.
The Latest Psychopath. Ronnie wonders how Vincent got her mobile number. Well, I'm wondering how the name "Carl White" popped up on her smartphone. Smartphones are smart, but they're not that smart. Unless you have someone's name and number in your telephone book, anyone who hasn't called you will simply pop up as a number with no name, but there it was ... "Carl White" calling. Did Ronnie have Carl's old number? Did Vincent hack into her phone? Or is this simply another corner cut to fit the plot?
Vincent's a joke. He and Phil are Shrek and Donkey trying to do drama, and Donkey's failing. In football terminology, a "donkey" is a hulking, lumbering, awkward player. Well, Richard Blackwood is EastEnders' donkey. He's too fey to be dangerous, but he rattled Roswell Ronnie, and he echoed Michael Moon's pyschopath identity remark when he quipped that it took one to know one, when he told her how he'd sussed that she was the one who'd killed Carl White.
I'm no fan of this bad actor and meh character, but I was glad someone has balls enough to call Ronnie out on her entitlement. She's still snapping her fingers and expecting Phil to jump as well.
I hope she leaves in a box.
Dot and Sharon. First things first ... why did Sharon skip out on hearing Dot's sentencing? She was there for the verdict, but then mysteriously disappeared. I hate the way DTC has promoted her as a central character, yet can only show her as someone in the background. Either put up the character or shut up about how "this year is Sharon's year."
As for Dot's sentence, she got fourteen months for manslaughter. As Fatboy remarked, she'd served part of that time anyway - she's served 3 months, which means she'll only have another 4 months to serve, in reality. I suspect this will explain June Brown's reduced appearance schedule and answer the question of where Dot is in the coming months. At least Rob Gittins managed to remember that the last time Dot was away for a length of time, she almost lost her house, with her admonishing Arthur to keep the rent paid. (What about Charlie?) And she doesn't want to lose her job. What is happening with the launderette? Cora's gone and Dot's in jail. Anyone thought of that?
Their Cheesiest Worst. I like the core Carters - Mick, Linda, Lee and Nancy - but oh, my godfathers! when Lee and Nancy began singing "Oliver" in honour of the newest Carter's name, I wanted to barf. The group hug was too much.
Not the best of episodes, for the obvious reasons. Sloppy and shoddily written, shot through with bad continuity re-arranged and retconned to suit the storyline.
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