Katie Douglas lingers like a bad smell. The filler episodes she writes are trite, and the dialogue is the worst side of being contrived.
The episode had its moments, but it had far more of mediocrity and melodrama than it needed.
The Startin' of Startin.
I like the combination of Stacey and Whitney as friends, since block storylining seems to have forgotten Stacey's friendship with Shabnam. Stacey's - what? - twenty-six, still young, but with the wisdom of experience. I like how she acknowledged to Whitney that she was lonely. It can't be easy raising a child on your own and looking after a forty-something-going-on-eighteen.
Bradley got an indirect mention tonight via Whitney, who was perspicacious enough to see the similarities between Martin and Bradley and to recognise that Stacey's initial reaction to Bradley a geeky, socially gauche boy whose inveterate sweetness and persistence worked his way into her heart. Whitney admitted what Stacey was afraid to admit, but still, I'm glad Stacey also admitted that she would never find another Bradley.
She shouldn't be looking for one. What impressed Stacey about Martin was the fact that he didn't treat Kat with kid gloves, tiptoe around her and tolerate her bad behaviour, acknowledging through that tolerance that she was entitled to behave inappropriately. Kat needed to be told, gently but firmly, that what she was doing was wrong, and she left the place post-haste. As Stacey admitted, had Martin not intervened, Kat would have remained there all night, baiting and annoying Stacey.
When Stacey and Martin left the Vic, to go drinking and dancing, you could tell a part of his psyche had touched her. Two single parents off out to have an evening of fun? How about two single parents, both of whom have killed a Mitchell, of out to have an evening of fun?
Speaking of the Mitchells ...
Mad Max.
The scam of Max Branning was so ridiculous I had trouble believing even he, in his arrogance, could be so stupid. OK, maybe I could believe he'd mess himself over the prospect of selling stolen cars and risking a prison sentence, but "Karin Smart's" sudden appearance and her OTT panicking should have raised his hackles - especially the "there's Old Bill outside your door" when Max should have just walked to the window and looked out.
What was the point, other than humiliation, of making him strip to his underwear?
No one makes a mug out of Phil Mitchell.
I'm not Max's biggest fan, but what Phil did was cruel, and why did Charlie play along with the scam? Max gave Charlie a job, and Charlie is part of Max's family. We'll see how a certain tranche of the Mitchells treat Charlie away down the line.
And who is the mysterious Ms Smart? She and Phil go "way back" - so far back that she was a schoolfriend of Sam's about whom we heard nothing? I don't like the way Phil treats Sharon, nor do I like the way he allows strangers in his own home to treat her. Phil didn't have to marry Sharon. He could have kicked her to the curb, and she's right to be worried about the path he's taking, especially regarding Ben (a plonker and a loser) and Jay, who actually does have a moral conscience. And of course, she's worried about her own child, who possesses the pedigree of Den Watts and Dennis Rickman without the influence of Phil Mitchell.
Whoever Karin Smart was, Phil should have put a stop to her remark to Sharon, recalling Sharon's marriage to Grant, followed by the snide aside of ~Peggy must really like you.~
I couldn't tell tonight if Max were meant to have affected Karen in some way or not, arguably because DVO's acting was so bad, but I think he struck a nerve with her when he remarked that she was the first woman with whom he'd slept since his girlfriend had died.
Do I think she'll be back? Well, if DTC wants her to return, she will. I'd rather she not.
Phil's remark to Sharon about Ben being nothing to do with her bore all the same sort of shitty petulance Ian used to dish to Jane over his children. Sharon is his wife, not his business partner, and she's Ben's stepmother. He'd have something to say if she took no interest at all in Ben or didn't want him to live there. Phil is quick enough to take an interest in her son, and she doesn't discourage that. Phil may as well have a blow-up doll, instead of a wife who isn't afraid to call him out on his shit.
I'm hoping Gavin is hardass who stands up to Phil's nonsense.
I can't stop thinking about what Phil said to Ritchie Scott in yesterday's episode - that he wanted her to be a part of "the firm." That may have been an innocuous enough remark, but I'd never heard such a phrase since the 1980s when Den Watts, Sharon's real (adoptive) father was, indeed, a part of "the firm."
How shallow is Abi that she'd choose staying with someone who doesn't really love her, who's using her as his beard, rather than be with her father? She's going to be shat on from a great height when Ben finds a boyfriend.
As for Max, Carol was right to read him the riot act about pushing his family away. When Max screws up, Carol's on hand to pick him up, dust him off and set him on his way, and Max is equally unappreciative. At a time when their dwindling family should be huddling close to each other.
Max's only friend, in the end, seems to be a bottle of whiskey, and a drunken Kat Moon.
Blue Moons. Jane and Ian always make me uneasy now, knowing what I know. Jane, once again, assumes the Wise Woman of Walford guise, a role to which she patently has no right. Like Phil, she said something in Monday's episode which jarred me. Alfie asked how she handled Ian, and she smugly replied,
Well, first I have to make him see that I'm right and he's wrong.
Really, Jane? You were right to dump Ian's daughter's body on the Common in the dead of night? Rather than taking her, humanely, to a local hospital, you dumped her body in the boot of your car, and now you presume to position yourself as Ian's moral arbiter?
And Ian treating his so-called best friend like a prize piece of shit?
For all the Alfie-haters abounding, Alfie is trying to make amends and to provide for his family, whilst Kat has regressed to a welter of self-pity. True, compensation can't wipe away what happened to Kat as a girl, but she is a mother, herself, now, and she needs to move on for her children's sake. If EastEnders were responsible, there would be a storyline about Kat getting professional help.
Instead, the least little inkling of doubt about their relationship from Alfie - and why did Katie Douglas have him even attempt to utter a line like that? Alfie is 100 per cent in Kat's corner - and Kat swipes a bottle of wine from Ian's restaurant and before she gets to the Vic, she's stonking drunk. She's so stonking drunk, she ends up on Max Branning's sofa.
This was not Jessie Wallace's finest performance. She cannot play a drunk. She can, however, play a caricature of a drunk, and her facial expressions as she lay awkwardly on Max's couch were totally bizarre, almost comical. She really had to have reached a low that she had to sleaze out with Max Branning, and it was only Max's stating that Kat Slater is a girl who can't say no, which produced Kat's long-awaited epiphany moment - the one where she runs into Alfie's arms, screeching that she's "broken."
Who really talks that way? That was embarrassing.
The Inevitable Carters. So Babe is behind the rock attack on Blades, an event that resulted in the odious Buster, paterfamilias of the Bloodvessel branch of the Carters, tearing through the market, shouting after the departing green hoodie. How does Bloodvessel know Martin well enough to call him by name? Martin, himself, has only newly returned, and Bloodvessel has only just arrived, himself.
Babe describes herself as "Switzerland", which means that she's officially neutral in the continuous Mick-Shirley scrap. However, neutrality for Babe, means pretending to encourage Shirley whilst spying back to Mick.
I think Babe is playing Shirley, yes, but she's also stitching Mick up; for whilst she assured Mick she didn't want to move in with the family - a move Linda vetoed beforehand and Mick supported - there's a stench left hanging in the air. Babe not only wants her job back, I reckon she's after a chunk of the Vic, itself.
Mick was rightfully suspicious, but how far do his suspicions go?
Whitney and Lee find Stan's stash of money, which looked like thousands of pounds in ten pound notes, hidden in his rancid old chair.
Watch this space.
Mediocre episode, brightened only by Stacey.
The episode had its moments, but it had far more of mediocrity and melodrama than it needed.
The Startin' of Startin.
I like the combination of Stacey and Whitney as friends, since block storylining seems to have forgotten Stacey's friendship with Shabnam. Stacey's - what? - twenty-six, still young, but with the wisdom of experience. I like how she acknowledged to Whitney that she was lonely. It can't be easy raising a child on your own and looking after a forty-something-going-on-eighteen.
Bradley got an indirect mention tonight via Whitney, who was perspicacious enough to see the similarities between Martin and Bradley and to recognise that Stacey's initial reaction to Bradley a geeky, socially gauche boy whose inveterate sweetness and persistence worked his way into her heart. Whitney admitted what Stacey was afraid to admit, but still, I'm glad Stacey also admitted that she would never find another Bradley.
She shouldn't be looking for one. What impressed Stacey about Martin was the fact that he didn't treat Kat with kid gloves, tiptoe around her and tolerate her bad behaviour, acknowledging through that tolerance that she was entitled to behave inappropriately. Kat needed to be told, gently but firmly, that what she was doing was wrong, and she left the place post-haste. As Stacey admitted, had Martin not intervened, Kat would have remained there all night, baiting and annoying Stacey.
When Stacey and Martin left the Vic, to go drinking and dancing, you could tell a part of his psyche had touched her. Two single parents off out to have an evening of fun? How about two single parents, both of whom have killed a Mitchell, of out to have an evening of fun?
Speaking of the Mitchells ...
Mad Max.
The scam of Max Branning was so ridiculous I had trouble believing even he, in his arrogance, could be so stupid. OK, maybe I could believe he'd mess himself over the prospect of selling stolen cars and risking a prison sentence, but "Karin Smart's" sudden appearance and her OTT panicking should have raised his hackles - especially the "there's Old Bill outside your door" when Max should have just walked to the window and looked out.
What was the point, other than humiliation, of making him strip to his underwear?
No one makes a mug out of Phil Mitchell.
I'm not Max's biggest fan, but what Phil did was cruel, and why did Charlie play along with the scam? Max gave Charlie a job, and Charlie is part of Max's family. We'll see how a certain tranche of the Mitchells treat Charlie away down the line.
And who is the mysterious Ms Smart? She and Phil go "way back" - so far back that she was a schoolfriend of Sam's about whom we heard nothing? I don't like the way Phil treats Sharon, nor do I like the way he allows strangers in his own home to treat her. Phil didn't have to marry Sharon. He could have kicked her to the curb, and she's right to be worried about the path he's taking, especially regarding Ben (a plonker and a loser) and Jay, who actually does have a moral conscience. And of course, she's worried about her own child, who possesses the pedigree of Den Watts and Dennis Rickman without the influence of Phil Mitchell.
Whoever Karin Smart was, Phil should have put a stop to her remark to Sharon, recalling Sharon's marriage to Grant, followed by the snide aside of ~Peggy must really like you.~
I couldn't tell tonight if Max were meant to have affected Karen in some way or not, arguably because DVO's acting was so bad, but I think he struck a nerve with her when he remarked that she was the first woman with whom he'd slept since his girlfriend had died.
Do I think she'll be back? Well, if DTC wants her to return, she will. I'd rather she not.
Phil's remark to Sharon about Ben being nothing to do with her bore all the same sort of shitty petulance Ian used to dish to Jane over his children. Sharon is his wife, not his business partner, and she's Ben's stepmother. He'd have something to say if she took no interest at all in Ben or didn't want him to live there. Phil is quick enough to take an interest in her son, and she doesn't discourage that. Phil may as well have a blow-up doll, instead of a wife who isn't afraid to call him out on his shit.
I'm hoping Gavin is hardass who stands up to Phil's nonsense.
I can't stop thinking about what Phil said to Ritchie Scott in yesterday's episode - that he wanted her to be a part of "the firm." That may have been an innocuous enough remark, but I'd never heard such a phrase since the 1980s when Den Watts, Sharon's real (adoptive) father was, indeed, a part of "the firm."
How shallow is Abi that she'd choose staying with someone who doesn't really love her, who's using her as his beard, rather than be with her father? She's going to be shat on from a great height when Ben finds a boyfriend.
As for Max, Carol was right to read him the riot act about pushing his family away. When Max screws up, Carol's on hand to pick him up, dust him off and set him on his way, and Max is equally unappreciative. At a time when their dwindling family should be huddling close to each other.
Max's only friend, in the end, seems to be a bottle of whiskey, and a drunken Kat Moon.
Blue Moons. Jane and Ian always make me uneasy now, knowing what I know. Jane, once again, assumes the Wise Woman of Walford guise, a role to which she patently has no right. Like Phil, she said something in Monday's episode which jarred me. Alfie asked how she handled Ian, and she smugly replied,
Well, first I have to make him see that I'm right and he's wrong.
Really, Jane? You were right to dump Ian's daughter's body on the Common in the dead of night? Rather than taking her, humanely, to a local hospital, you dumped her body in the boot of your car, and now you presume to position yourself as Ian's moral arbiter?
And Ian treating his so-called best friend like a prize piece of shit?
For all the Alfie-haters abounding, Alfie is trying to make amends and to provide for his family, whilst Kat has regressed to a welter of self-pity. True, compensation can't wipe away what happened to Kat as a girl, but she is a mother, herself, now, and she needs to move on for her children's sake. If EastEnders were responsible, there would be a storyline about Kat getting professional help.
Instead, the least little inkling of doubt about their relationship from Alfie - and why did Katie Douglas have him even attempt to utter a line like that? Alfie is 100 per cent in Kat's corner - and Kat swipes a bottle of wine from Ian's restaurant and before she gets to the Vic, she's stonking drunk. She's so stonking drunk, she ends up on Max Branning's sofa.
This was not Jessie Wallace's finest performance. She cannot play a drunk. She can, however, play a caricature of a drunk, and her facial expressions as she lay awkwardly on Max's couch were totally bizarre, almost comical. She really had to have reached a low that she had to sleaze out with Max Branning, and it was only Max's stating that Kat Slater is a girl who can't say no, which produced Kat's long-awaited epiphany moment - the one where she runs into Alfie's arms, screeching that she's "broken."
Who really talks that way? That was embarrassing.
The Inevitable Carters. So Babe is behind the rock attack on Blades, an event that resulted in the odious Buster, paterfamilias of the Bloodvessel branch of the Carters, tearing through the market, shouting after the departing green hoodie. How does Bloodvessel know Martin well enough to call him by name? Martin, himself, has only newly returned, and Bloodvessel has only just arrived, himself.
Babe describes herself as "Switzerland", which means that she's officially neutral in the continuous Mick-Shirley scrap. However, neutrality for Babe, means pretending to encourage Shirley whilst spying back to Mick.
I think Babe is playing Shirley, yes, but she's also stitching Mick up; for whilst she assured Mick she didn't want to move in with the family - a move Linda vetoed beforehand and Mick supported - there's a stench left hanging in the air. Babe not only wants her job back, I reckon she's after a chunk of the Vic, itself.
Mick was rightfully suspicious, but how far do his suspicions go?
Whitney and Lee find Stan's stash of money, which looked like thousands of pounds in ten pound notes, hidden in his rancid old chair.
Watch this space.
Mediocre episode, brightened only by Stacey.
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