Alert! The Magic Negro is just another psycho - and a badly acted one at that.
When are surprises not surprises? When the audience can guess what's happened. This filler episode, filled with some of the show's most unlikeable characters, was an episode filled with non-surprises.
Non-Surprise Number One: The Man Who's Everything to Everybody ... TMN.
Now watch this, and listen very carefully ...
They mysterious Mr Hubbard, many things to many people, including ...
Somehow "the hound always chases the fox" is a bit more poetic than having a donkey run, braying, after a fox.
So, tonight we learned what we had already surmised - that Vincent is, indeed, Claudette's son, which makes him Donna's foster brother. So now, he's connected to Kim (obviously), Denise, Patrick, Claudette, Donna, and by extension the Cokers,Babe Thirty Years Ago Ronnie, and by that extension, the Mitchells. He's probably connected in some way to Gavin and Kathy also, but we'll see.
Richard Blackwood has said, himself, that Vincent is a man conflicted, a man torn between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, or rather the Devil (Ronnie Mitchell) and Kim, who's being presented as a positive force now. However, Kim has something Vincent wants - his daughter, Pearl. Tough shit, Vincent. The kid comes with the mother. I find his attraction to Ronnie and any she had to him to be incongruous. Who's he kidding? She used him for her own means, and the sooner he comes to realise that, the better.
Donna knows what the Mitchells are all about, and it wouldn't take much for her to suss Ronnie either.
Just as Lucas - who got a mention tonight - was the epitome of a good man who's taken over by evil, I'm betting Vincent will be the reverse. He'll be the bad man redeemed by a good woman.
I liked the way he brushed Roswell Ronnie off, in the face of seeing his daughter, and I liked the way he told her outright that he was no killer. I don't know what Vincent's done in the past, but he feels that his child comes first, and he kept searching for reinforcement in that believe. As Mick said, that's a no-brainer.
It's just a pity that Vincent isn't played by a better actor, and one who'll always be synonymous with Donkey ...
(Spot the Nigel Harman).
At least we got a bit of background to the Vincent-Kim love story - that they met in a queue at a kebab shop and decided on impulse to take a cruise, that they got married on a dare. I've still not heard how or why he abandoned her or why she dumped him.
Non-Surprise Number Two: The Evil Blister.
One thing that always amazes me about the Mitchell Blisters is their profound sense of entitlement. It is, without a doubt, the most humongous entitlement issue on the show, bigger, even, than Shirley's.
Ronnie, obviously, wants Charlie killed. So she calls Phil.
Why does everyone call Phil when they want someone offed? As he's made abundantly clear, himself, Phil Mitchell is no killer. Ronnie doesn't ask, she demands, parlaying that if Phil can't do it, he must know someone who can.
Phil doesn't like Ronnie or Roxy, and he knows exactly what Ronnie is vis-a-vis the reference to Archie - a psychopath. If she wants rid of Charlie, he says, use Ritchie and go the legal route. And I am so glad Phil got in a great line.
You're forgetting one thing ... Carl White. You got lucky there.
I'm glad Phil hasn't forgotten that or the fact that Ronnie landed him deeply in it by leaving a load of Carl's DNA stuck around Phil's house. Oh, and Ronnie says she'll payPhil. With what? The last lot of 100 grand Ronnie stole from Phil ended up being burned in Dot's kitchen sink. The original cool million she stole from him, which were the proceeds from the sale of the Vic, she used to escape to Ibiza, buy the boxing club (which must do a precious good job of running itself, as she's not seen the inside since last year) and buy the house in which she andSylvie Thirty Years Ago Roxy live.
Pardon me, but didn't Ronnie offer to pay back ever red copper penny of money she stole from Phil at the beginning of 2014? She said it, herself, tonight, she's mad. Mad, bad and dangerous to know, but she's no Lord Byron. She's a flaming psychopath.
She met rejection twice tonight, since Vincent turned down her offer to "make someone disappear". Her ratcheting up the reminder about him providing her with a gun is an empty threat, since that gun - once again, left at Phil's - has long been thrown into the canal after Phil's shooting. Besides, what the hell did she need that gun for anyway? We saw no more of the Whites, and I'd love to see some more of them put the fear of whatever in her, because Ronnie is essentially a coward.
As Phil stated, her answer to everything is to kill the person whom she perceives to have wronged her. She's killed before, and she'll kill again, which is why she wanted Phil or Vincent to off Charlie. She knows her luck won't hold out. She'll kill the poor bastard, and I'll bet she'll set Roxy up to take the blame.
One thing for certain, she has a shelf life now. Good. This actress has been taking the piss on this programme ever since she returned in 2013. She uses the show as a backdrop for cash when she isn't involved in any of her other projects. The extra month she'll spend in hospital, I imagine, is cover for her filming Pleasant Valley, and I hope she's long gone and toasted before she's due to do another extensive panto engagement.
Did I mention she's phoning it in? Well, she is.
Non-Surprise Number Three: Saint Sonia the Selfish.
Martin was wrong. Sonia's infidelity isn't adultery, but it is unreasonable behaviour and grounds for divorce. I feel sorry for this man. He's done nothing wrong, really, and yet Sonia is still, after all these years, disparaging him and looking down her pointy nose at him. She's a selfish bitch, and I'm surprised that Carol's head is so far up her arse as not to comprehend why Rebecca doesn't want to attend Sonia's and the Court Jester's self-congratulatory birthday celebration.
She's fourteen, her parents are splitting up, and she's clearly uncomfortable with the woman whom her putrid mother has chosen. Rebecca wants stability, and she's not getting that at the moment. What she does want is for her father, a familiar face, to be there on this evening. She's clearly upset, as well, that Martin is placed well down the table, whilst shit-stirrer Tina moans audibly to Sonia about Martin being invited. But then, Tina never was one for putting offspring first.
Sonia objected to Martin having had a drink when he showed up and offered to stay with Rebecca during the party. Really, Sonia? When you have been known to come stumbling, blind-drunk, after swigging purloined wine from a bottle with Tina of an evening? The delicate Tina objects to Martin burping at the beginning of her drunken speech (and she was just as drunk) when she puked all over Tosh's frock in broad daylight last year?
Tina's speech was well out of order and overtly sexual, especially when Sonia's daughter was sitting there, visibly embarrassed, and it was done only to wind Martin up.Tina and Sonia deserve each other, and Sonia needs to buck her ideas up, because she doesn't know clearly what he wants. What she does appear to want is sex. When Martin wouldn't give her sex, she went after it - remember how she tried to kiss Kush - and got it sex from Tina, after Martin offered to repair their marriage. He wasn't good enough for her. Initially tonight, she brushed off his gift to her, because they were "broken." All it took was a look from Martin, curiousity from silly Sonia about her gift and the offer of sex, and Sonia capitulates. Oo-er, she's cheated on Tina. Whoda thunk it?
Sonia want sex, which she confuses with affection. Whoever offers it to her, she'll take it, and she'll always want what she can't have, with no thought given to anyone but Sonia.
What she really needs is a dildo.
(Aside: I didn't like the casually impertinent question from Liam about how "Grandma Dot" was faring in prison. It wasn't asked out of concern or compassion, it was asked to show how much of a smartarse Liam isn't. And Cindy is sixteen years old. Isn't that too young to be serving alcohol as a waitress in a licenced establishment?)
Non-Surprise Number Four: Carters, Carters, Everywhere.
If you think about it, Mick has exactly what he should want right now - he, Linda, Lee and Nancy as a unit, separated from Babe and certainly from Shirley, Bloodvessel the Scrote and Dean the Rapist.
Babe's been ostracised, and Shirley should be very afraid. I imagine Babe is a viper, and she still has the untold secret concerning Queenie Trott, which is another Carter corker.
Mick finds himself in yet another bind, somehow owing money to Shirley. He shouldn't. She paid ten grand for a stake of one per cent in the Vic. He's got half of that from Lee's donation. Another five grand shouldn't be hard to come by. I hate the way Shirley lords it over Mick and his family. They accuse Babe of being manipulative, but Shirley's learned her game at the foot of the master.
I am so past the Carters now.
Non-Surprise Number Five: Kat Again.
Hello? Did she think that by giving a statement to the police, she would automatically get compensation for Harry's crime against her? She didn't. Does that mean the wise old woman's spell goes up in a puff of smoke until the Man in the Moon wins the Lottery?
Non-Surprise Number Six: The Live Bits.
Kat, Stacey and Martin discussed the Election, and Linda wittered onto Nancy about the new Royal Baby's name. I guess it's safe to say if the baby is a girl, Linda will call her Charlotte.
Another mediocre filler. Christopher Reason could do and has done better.
When are surprises not surprises? When the audience can guess what's happened. This filler episode, filled with some of the show's most unlikeable characters, was an episode filled with non-surprises.
Non-Surprise Number One: The Man Who's Everything to Everybody ... TMN.
Now watch this, and listen very carefully ...
They mysterious Mr Hubbard, many things to many people, including ...
Somehow "the hound always chases the fox" is a bit more poetic than having a donkey run, braying, after a fox.
So, tonight we learned what we had already surmised - that Vincent is, indeed, Claudette's son, which makes him Donna's foster brother. So now, he's connected to Kim (obviously), Denise, Patrick, Claudette, Donna, and by extension the Cokers,
Richard Blackwood has said, himself, that Vincent is a man conflicted, a man torn between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, or rather the Devil (Ronnie Mitchell) and Kim, who's being presented as a positive force now. However, Kim has something Vincent wants - his daughter, Pearl. Tough shit, Vincent. The kid comes with the mother. I find his attraction to Ronnie and any she had to him to be incongruous. Who's he kidding? She used him for her own means, and the sooner he comes to realise that, the better.
Donna knows what the Mitchells are all about, and it wouldn't take much for her to suss Ronnie either.
Just as Lucas - who got a mention tonight - was the epitome of a good man who's taken over by evil, I'm betting Vincent will be the reverse. He'll be the bad man redeemed by a good woman.
I liked the way he brushed Roswell Ronnie off, in the face of seeing his daughter, and I liked the way he told her outright that he was no killer. I don't know what Vincent's done in the past, but he feels that his child comes first, and he kept searching for reinforcement in that believe. As Mick said, that's a no-brainer.
It's just a pity that Vincent isn't played by a better actor, and one who'll always be synonymous with Donkey ...
(Spot the Nigel Harman).
At least we got a bit of background to the Vincent-Kim love story - that they met in a queue at a kebab shop and decided on impulse to take a cruise, that they got married on a dare. I've still not heard how or why he abandoned her or why she dumped him.
Non-Surprise Number Two: The Evil Blister.
One thing that always amazes me about the Mitchell Blisters is their profound sense of entitlement. It is, without a doubt, the most humongous entitlement issue on the show, bigger, even, than Shirley's.
Ronnie, obviously, wants Charlie killed. So she calls Phil.
Why does everyone call Phil when they want someone offed? As he's made abundantly clear, himself, Phil Mitchell is no killer. Ronnie doesn't ask, she demands, parlaying that if Phil can't do it, he must know someone who can.
Phil doesn't like Ronnie or Roxy, and he knows exactly what Ronnie is vis-a-vis the reference to Archie - a psychopath. If she wants rid of Charlie, he says, use Ritchie and go the legal route. And I am so glad Phil got in a great line.
You're forgetting one thing ... Carl White. You got lucky there.
I'm glad Phil hasn't forgotten that or the fact that Ronnie landed him deeply in it by leaving a load of Carl's DNA stuck around Phil's house. Oh, and Ronnie says she'll payPhil. With what? The last lot of 100 grand Ronnie stole from Phil ended up being burned in Dot's kitchen sink. The original cool million she stole from him, which were the proceeds from the sale of the Vic, she used to escape to Ibiza, buy the boxing club (which must do a precious good job of running itself, as she's not seen the inside since last year) and buy the house in which she and
Pardon me, but didn't Ronnie offer to pay back ever red copper penny of money she stole from Phil at the beginning of 2014? She said it, herself, tonight, she's mad. Mad, bad and dangerous to know, but she's no Lord Byron. She's a flaming psychopath.
She met rejection twice tonight, since Vincent turned down her offer to "make someone disappear". Her ratcheting up the reminder about him providing her with a gun is an empty threat, since that gun - once again, left at Phil's - has long been thrown into the canal after Phil's shooting. Besides, what the hell did she need that gun for anyway? We saw no more of the Whites, and I'd love to see some more of them put the fear of whatever in her, because Ronnie is essentially a coward.
As Phil stated, her answer to everything is to kill the person whom she perceives to have wronged her. She's killed before, and she'll kill again, which is why she wanted Phil or Vincent to off Charlie. She knows her luck won't hold out. She'll kill the poor bastard, and I'll bet she'll set Roxy up to take the blame.
One thing for certain, she has a shelf life now. Good. This actress has been taking the piss on this programme ever since she returned in 2013. She uses the show as a backdrop for cash when she isn't involved in any of her other projects. The extra month she'll spend in hospital, I imagine, is cover for her filming Pleasant Valley, and I hope she's long gone and toasted before she's due to do another extensive panto engagement.
Did I mention she's phoning it in? Well, she is.
Non-Surprise Number Three: Saint Sonia the Selfish.
Martin was wrong. Sonia's infidelity isn't adultery, but it is unreasonable behaviour and grounds for divorce. I feel sorry for this man. He's done nothing wrong, really, and yet Sonia is still, after all these years, disparaging him and looking down her pointy nose at him. She's a selfish bitch, and I'm surprised that Carol's head is so far up her arse as not to comprehend why Rebecca doesn't want to attend Sonia's and the Court Jester's self-congratulatory birthday celebration.
She's fourteen, her parents are splitting up, and she's clearly uncomfortable with the woman whom her putrid mother has chosen. Rebecca wants stability, and she's not getting that at the moment. What she does want is for her father, a familiar face, to be there on this evening. She's clearly upset, as well, that Martin is placed well down the table, whilst shit-stirrer Tina moans audibly to Sonia about Martin being invited. But then, Tina never was one for putting offspring first.
Sonia objected to Martin having had a drink when he showed up and offered to stay with Rebecca during the party. Really, Sonia? When you have been known to come stumbling, blind-drunk, after swigging purloined wine from a bottle with Tina of an evening? The delicate Tina objects to Martin burping at the beginning of her drunken speech (and she was just as drunk) when she puked all over Tosh's frock in broad daylight last year?
Tina's speech was well out of order and overtly sexual, especially when Sonia's daughter was sitting there, visibly embarrassed, and it was done only to wind Martin up.Tina and Sonia deserve each other, and Sonia needs to buck her ideas up, because she doesn't know clearly what he wants. What she does appear to want is sex. When Martin wouldn't give her sex, she went after it - remember how she tried to kiss Kush - and got it sex from Tina, after Martin offered to repair their marriage. He wasn't good enough for her. Initially tonight, she brushed off his gift to her, because they were "broken." All it took was a look from Martin, curiousity from silly Sonia about her gift and the offer of sex, and Sonia capitulates. Oo-er, she's cheated on Tina. Whoda thunk it?
Sonia want sex, which she confuses with affection. Whoever offers it to her, she'll take it, and she'll always want what she can't have, with no thought given to anyone but Sonia.
What she really needs is a dildo.
(Aside: I didn't like the casually impertinent question from Liam about how "Grandma Dot" was faring in prison. It wasn't asked out of concern or compassion, it was asked to show how much of a smartarse Liam isn't. And Cindy is sixteen years old. Isn't that too young to be serving alcohol as a waitress in a licenced establishment?)
Non-Surprise Number Four: Carters, Carters, Everywhere.
If you think about it, Mick has exactly what he should want right now - he, Linda, Lee and Nancy as a unit, separated from Babe and certainly from Shirley, Bloodvessel the Scrote and Dean the Rapist.
Babe's been ostracised, and Shirley should be very afraid. I imagine Babe is a viper, and she still has the untold secret concerning Queenie Trott, which is another Carter corker.
Mick finds himself in yet another bind, somehow owing money to Shirley. He shouldn't. She paid ten grand for a stake of one per cent in the Vic. He's got half of that from Lee's donation. Another five grand shouldn't be hard to come by. I hate the way Shirley lords it over Mick and his family. They accuse Babe of being manipulative, but Shirley's learned her game at the foot of the master.
I am so past the Carters now.
Non-Surprise Number Five: Kat Again.
Hello? Did she think that by giving a statement to the police, she would automatically get compensation for Harry's crime against her? She didn't. Does that mean the wise old woman's spell goes up in a puff of smoke until the Man in the Moon wins the Lottery?
Non-Surprise Number Six: The Live Bits.
Kat, Stacey and Martin discussed the Election, and Linda wittered onto Nancy about the new Royal Baby's name. I guess it's safe to say if the baby is a girl, Linda will call her Charlotte.
Another mediocre filler. Christopher Reason could do and has done better.
No comments:
Post a Comment