A musical interlude for tonight's episode, for in tonight's thirty minutes, we saw the vision of Lorraine Newman for EastEnders - warm, fuzzy and friendly ... a community where everyone cares about his neighbour, where the past is remembered (intermittantly), where ex-husbands still love ex-wives, and if something in the past just isn't tickety-boo and doesn't fit into what it's supposed to relate to in the present, a willing writer will always resort to retcon to save the day.
So the following three selections reflect Newman's vision of the warmer, friendlier, community-minded EastEnders. Listen and remember. You should hear these tunes in your head each time we're treated to Newman's new, funnier, warmer, more loving EastEnders ... don't you know, not only have the Square got a matriarch and a patriarch, they now have their very own Magic Negro.
After all that, tonight's episode was probably the best so far of the week, and episodes like this, little quirks apart, are OK from time to time. Even the Brannings were bearable, if you can get your head around the fact that one of their satellites caused most of the problems surrounding Dot, and that the Brannings were seen to be the ones who saved the day.
Having said that, this shouldn't be EastEnders as a brand ...
The Martyr.
I know we should be sympathetic to Dot's plight, but the episode, watchable that it was, aptly illustrated everything that frustrates me about Dot. Absolutely everything, especially her enormous sense of pride.
If Dot were Catholic, she'd have been taught that pride is a venal sin. And hypocrisy. Because as much as Dot is a vain and proud person, who considers herself the religious conscience of the Square, whilst she is someone who wants no one to know her troubles and travails, she isn't above ferreting out other people's secrets and commenting on them ... not being one to gossip, mind.
She acted like a petulant child, almost desiring of her fate of eviction - and had that happened, she would have pushed any and all away, and we'd have been left with a closing shot of Dot sat, mournfully, on Arthur's bench, homeless and looking immensely self-pitying, with her belongings strewn about her,
Her pride and sense of martyrdom resulted in her appearing immensely ungrateful - for the insipid Poppy's attempt at fixing her a breakfast of bacon rashers and sausages. How's that for incongruity? Poppy, a Jewish girl, fixing bacon and sausages for Dot.
Dot picked up one piece of toast with a face that looked as though it had encountered a bad smell. When Jack, her favourite stepson, knocked at the door, concerned at what Sharon had obviously told him about Dot's plight, Dot's reaction was terrible - Jack was Jim's family, not hers.
Dot's family consists of Nick, who's failed her in every way as a son, even trying to kill her; Ashley, who ended up mocking her; and Dotty, who wanted to kill her before she miraculously reverted to being an ordinary little girl. I know the Brannings are a godawful family, but Jim;s kids have been nothing less than loving to Dot, even Derek respected and liked her. Max has helped her out on numerous occasions, even though she's been quick with the rough side of her tongue in criticizing him; and Jack adores her. Jack's relationship with Dot is one of the few things about the show which humanises him and makes him interesting.
When Dot married Jim, when she "acquired" Sonia, Robbie and then Max, Carol and Jack, she got the family she'd been denied all those previous years.
The Dot who's returned as of January is different in a way that doesn't hold well with her. That she's immediately become the wise woman of the Square, after years of being a cartoonish, Bible-thumping figure of ridicule, I can accept. I'd far rather see her as the Square's matriarch, even if it be by virtue of her Branning connections, than the alcoholic Cora the Bora or her newly-found sprog, Ava the Rava aka The Magic Negro aka Ava Worf. It makes sense.
What doesn't make sense is Dot's new hair colour (and ill-fitting wig), her skinny jeans and fashionable Ugg boots, and her nippy little late-model Smart car. (Late-model used Mercs aren't cheap). Dot's a woman in her late seventies. You don't change your fashion style and sense at that time of life.
Still, it was right and fitting that the person who showed up to support Dot in her hour of need, was Ian, one of the two remaining original characters in the programme. Ian wouldn't listen to Dot's warnings not to get involved, even though her booted and suited stepsons were put off by her admonitions, and it was - dare I say it? - warm and fuzzy to hear Dot speak of Pete Beale, father of Ian and David, grandfather of Bianca and great-grandfather of Liam the Lunk and the odious Tiffany, and her friendship with him. It would be nice if someone mentioned Pete and the Beale connections to the Butcher-Jackson family sometimes.
The beginning of Dot's travail begain in a contrived scene, but one that worked - waving at her granddaughters and Tanya as they left the house (family), waving at Alfie and his son across the Square (new Walford) and asking a passing Phil about Lexi's progress (old Walford). The symbolism of that scene?
Dot is the new lychpin of Walford. The baton has passed from the late Pat to the current Dot.
The courtroom scene was typical and traditional Dot drama, from start to finish - Dot objecting timidly, but assertively to Ian's hired solicitor doing what solicitor's are paid to do (and one wonders who's paying for her time), Fatboy's rambling character reference for Dot, which - as the judge pointed out - served no purpose, and finally Dot's unsolicited statement (and by that time, with the judge sitting back and mumbling, "In your own time," the piece had taken on an aura of Mr Smith Goes to Washington ...
Well, maybe not quite a filibuster, but a heartfelt speech, completely done in classic Dot-speak, and even ending with the remark that Dot isn't one to gossip.
The fact remains, however, that Dot has lived in council accommodation all her life. She would have known the rules about taking in "paying guests." A lodger has to be declared to the council, because they are contributing to Dot's share of the rent she pays, and as such, her housing benefit will be decreased. Also, Dot inhabits a three bedroomed terraced house in London, a council property. She was right when she said it had been described officially as inadequately occupied. Three bedroomed council properties are for families, not a single, elderly person. Besides, from Monday, Dot would be having at least 14 quid deducted from her housing benefit because of the new bedroom tax, and if Poppy weren't there, she'd be having 28 quid deducted. She also should have known that council properties can't be sublet either (even though the Slater property, which should be in Charlie's name, is being sublet by the invisible Big Mo).
However, Dot-speak and all, for its references to the past and its consistency of character, I liked this vignette; and it's official: Arthur Chubb is seriously a nice guy.
Does the Ice Queen Cometh?
From Jack to Ronnie:-
OK, look ... I know the Branning's mantra is "out of sight, out of mind," when it comes to loving the one you're with, but all it takes to re-ignite the passion is for whatever has been out of sight to make an appearance in some way, shape or form ...
Tanya slinking around Walford on the flimsiest excuse when Max is cosying down with Vanessa, and now, out of the blue, the Ice Queen cometh via letter to Jack. Not only that, but unseen Ronnie rings Roxy to say she's being released in the very near future, a fact which Roxy keeps from Alfie and which Jack keeps from Alfie and which Katshit is keeping from Alfie.
But Jack's got this letter he won't open; instead, he just sits in his office at the boxing club, remembering the Ice Queenfrom The Nutcracker:-
No, he doesn't. Jack's not into ballet, that's Denny in the future, when he's eyed some of Ben's dance videos.
Jack's about to burn the letter, until Roxy walks in.
Here's another shared trait about the Brannings, if you haven't sussed it already - they're cowards, who seek the easy way out. It would have been so easy for Jack to burn that letter and hunker down with Fat Barbie and DamienDen to play happy families, but Roxy pulls him up.
Funny, that of all the women in the show with whom Jack's had romantic encounters, the only one with whom he's had any sort of sexual chemistry has been Roxy. That was a good, if bittersweet trip down memory lane there, and kudos to both of them for referencing their own hurt of Ronnie, as well as how Ronnie's release would affect Alfie and how Ronnie had hurt Jack in her own way. Jack even reiterated Alfie's line cried out in anguish at the height of the babyswap. Jack lost a baby too, and spent four months believing that the child in their home was his son. But for all Jack's tearful regrets at not having a family with Ronnie, it irks me mightily that he forgets his three other living children. It irked me that he told Ronnie that their was the only child who mattered to him - forgetting Penny, whose disablement he caused, forgetting Amy, who lived upstairs from him at that time and forgetting Richard, about whom he could care less. It irks me more even now that he's put all three of them on the backburner in order to be a "good father" to Sharon's son.
So whilst the scene with Rita Simons was eminently watchable, I don't give a rat's arse about Jack's grief.
He still loves Ronnie, and Fat Barbie is just the latest cushion for the pushing, and a shopworn one at that.
It's a Family Affair.
Yet another Branning get-together at the Vic, this time organised by Cora the Bora, out of guilt when Poppy and Arthur bring home to her the real facts about Dot being in danger of losing her home and why she's losing it.
Max offered Dot money, which she refused. Maybe Tanya should, considering that her putrid mother is one of the main reasons Dot's in the predicament she's in.
So Cora organises a lunchtime hoedown in Dot's honour - to celebrate, if she wins the right to stay in her home (so Cora can get drunk in relief) or to commiserate and try to show her she has support, even if no one will offer her a roof over her head, if she loses (whereupon Cora the Bora can drown her sorrows). Any excuse for a drink.
And any excuse for a quibble, and a assumption stated as fact and a retcon.
Spot the retcon?
Max and Tanya are making sausage rolls in the Vic's suddenly Ray-less kitchen. The pub's about to open and there's no Ray to make the lunches? In fact, the lunchtime do sees the pub curiously empty, devoid of people except the Brannings and a few odd, new extras. But where is Ray?
(Hint: Chuckie Venn's Twitter page has obliterated all reference to his being in EastEnders in his profile. Instead, he's touting his agent's telephone number and saying he's free for personal appearances. I reckon Ray's been Big Mowed.)
Back to the retcon ... Max and Tanya are having a sausage roll moment, when Max starts to moan about why they're doing this for Dot at all, when Cora the Bora, the drunken old lag, reminds Max that Dot is his father's wife, and Max should be doing this for Jim.
Max: Leave it out, Cora. Yer only met me old man once in yer life an' vat was 19 years ago at me wedding.
Eh? Did you get that one? No? Well, here it is.
If you recall originally back in 2007 pre-Stax, when Jack showed up on the Square, Tanya remarked that Jack was the only Branning to attend their wedding. Jim and Reenie didn't approve of Max abandoning Rachel and Bradley to marry his teenaged mistress who'd already had his child, so they didn't attend the wedding.
Fast forward to Branning week in 2011, when Derek first entered the Branning front room. He reminisced about having last seen Cora and Rainie at Max's and Tanya's wedding, when both he and Jack attended. Then, we were asked to believe that Jack and Derek attended.
And now the latest line is that Jim and Reenie attended the do. Really, Pete Lawson should have done some research there, but the Branning family has been retconned so much since the 1990s that it's getting confusing and too difficult to fathom. It's a good thing that several of them have left/are leaving. Maybe the retconning will cease.
The quibble? Well, Kirstie is being made to feel distinctly like the outsider here, and she acts it too, showing no sympathy whatsoever for Dot's plight. Her rationale is that Dot broke the law, and she should pay for it. Besides, she was living in that big house all on her own, when they should have it. (Oh, and since when did the B and B do satin sheets? Or is that the Sex Suite?)
Max should have silenced her by reminding her that Dot was his stepmother and her mother-in-law. But he didn't. Too many writers forget familial connections when they shouldn't.
The assumption? Well, the low point of the piece ... Sharon in Branning mode, big hair, big eyelashes, big neck (Christ, she's got a neck as thick as an NFL linebacker! Maybe those pills she pops are really steroids) confiding in Max that Tanya misses him, she reckons. Tanya's told her no such thing. She wouldn't dare, not after swearing off Max this time. Again. But, still, Fat Barbie reckons she and Barbie Big Legs are on the same wave length and she just knows Tanya misses Max. This is just another bitchy ploy to get Max to abandon Kirsty and return to the fragrant Tanya.
I'm beginning to hate Kirsty now as much as I hate Tanya. Max should wake up, smell the coffee and tell them both where to go and how to get there.
Oh, and Dot won her case. She kept her house and returns to wonder why it is that no one on the Square does any work. I do too.
With more episodes like that warm and fuzzy one, we'll soon be hearing this as the new theme for EastEnders:-
I can hear it now. Instead of the duff duffs:-
Goodnight Alfie.
Goodnight Roxy. Goodnight Jean.
Goodnight Alfie. Goodnight Shirl.
Goodnight Jean. 'Ere, do I have to say goodnight to that scumbag Phil Mitchell?
No Shirley. Goodnight Denise.
Goodnight Jean. Goodnight Ian.
Goodnight Denise. Goodnight Mas.
Goodnight Ian. Goodnight Ajay.
Goodnight bruv. Goodnight Patrick.
Heeeeey ... Goodnight Ajay ma man. Goodnight Kim.
Goodnight Patrick. Goodnight Billy.
Goodnight Kim. Goodnight Janine.
But Billy, I've not come back yet. Oh well, goodnight anyway. Goodnight Michael, I'll be home soon.
Wha-? What? Who said that? Goodnight Alice.
Goodnight Michael. Goodnight Joey.
Gronekridepfm.ngie[efdh Aa-asss. Gronekridepfm ngiefefdh Laurrrgh.
Goodnight Joey. Goodnight Uncle Jack.
Goodnight Laruen. Goodnight Sharon.
Goodnight Phil ..er Jack. Goodnight Max.
Goddnight Sharon. Goodnight Babe.
'Ere, 'oo're you callin' babe?
Wha? Big Mo? What are you doin' 'ere?
Ne'mind what I'm doin' ;'ere ... more o' the babe thing please. Oooh, these satin sheets are nice. Fat Elvis never'ad it so good.
Final Observation: Kudos to Mr Lawson for having it brought up tonight in the dialogue about how Walford is suddenly enjoying an epidemic of couples breaking up - Max and Tanya, Mas and Zainab, Alfie and Kat. It's been noticed.
So the following three selections reflect Newman's vision of the warmer, friendlier, community-minded EastEnders. Listen and remember. You should hear these tunes in your head each time we're treated to Newman's new, funnier, warmer, more loving EastEnders ... don't you know, not only have the Square got a matriarch and a patriarch, they now have their very own Magic Negro.
After all that, tonight's episode was probably the best so far of the week, and episodes like this, little quirks apart, are OK from time to time. Even the Brannings were bearable, if you can get your head around the fact that one of their satellites caused most of the problems surrounding Dot, and that the Brannings were seen to be the ones who saved the day.
Having said that, this shouldn't be EastEnders as a brand ...
The Martyr.
I know we should be sympathetic to Dot's plight, but the episode, watchable that it was, aptly illustrated everything that frustrates me about Dot. Absolutely everything, especially her enormous sense of pride.
If Dot were Catholic, she'd have been taught that pride is a venal sin. And hypocrisy. Because as much as Dot is a vain and proud person, who considers herself the religious conscience of the Square, whilst she is someone who wants no one to know her troubles and travails, she isn't above ferreting out other people's secrets and commenting on them ... not being one to gossip, mind.
She acted like a petulant child, almost desiring of her fate of eviction - and had that happened, she would have pushed any and all away, and we'd have been left with a closing shot of Dot sat, mournfully, on Arthur's bench, homeless and looking immensely self-pitying, with her belongings strewn about her,
Her pride and sense of martyrdom resulted in her appearing immensely ungrateful - for the insipid Poppy's attempt at fixing her a breakfast of bacon rashers and sausages. How's that for incongruity? Poppy, a Jewish girl, fixing bacon and sausages for Dot.
Dot picked up one piece of toast with a face that looked as though it had encountered a bad smell. When Jack, her favourite stepson, knocked at the door, concerned at what Sharon had obviously told him about Dot's plight, Dot's reaction was terrible - Jack was Jim's family, not hers.
Dot's family consists of Nick, who's failed her in every way as a son, even trying to kill her; Ashley, who ended up mocking her; and Dotty, who wanted to kill her before she miraculously reverted to being an ordinary little girl. I know the Brannings are a godawful family, but Jim;s kids have been nothing less than loving to Dot, even Derek respected and liked her. Max has helped her out on numerous occasions, even though she's been quick with the rough side of her tongue in criticizing him; and Jack adores her. Jack's relationship with Dot is one of the few things about the show which humanises him and makes him interesting.
When Dot married Jim, when she "acquired" Sonia, Robbie and then Max, Carol and Jack, she got the family she'd been denied all those previous years.
The Dot who's returned as of January is different in a way that doesn't hold well with her. That she's immediately become the wise woman of the Square, after years of being a cartoonish, Bible-thumping figure of ridicule, I can accept. I'd far rather see her as the Square's matriarch, even if it be by virtue of her Branning connections, than the alcoholic Cora the Bora or her newly-found sprog, Ava the Rava aka The Magic Negro aka Ava Worf. It makes sense.
What doesn't make sense is Dot's new hair colour (and ill-fitting wig), her skinny jeans and fashionable Ugg boots, and her nippy little late-model Smart car. (Late-model used Mercs aren't cheap). Dot's a woman in her late seventies. You don't change your fashion style and sense at that time of life.
Still, it was right and fitting that the person who showed up to support Dot in her hour of need, was Ian, one of the two remaining original characters in the programme. Ian wouldn't listen to Dot's warnings not to get involved, even though her booted and suited stepsons were put off by her admonitions, and it was - dare I say it? - warm and fuzzy to hear Dot speak of Pete Beale, father of Ian and David, grandfather of Bianca and great-grandfather of Liam the Lunk and the odious Tiffany, and her friendship with him. It would be nice if someone mentioned Pete and the Beale connections to the Butcher-Jackson family sometimes.
The beginning of Dot's travail begain in a contrived scene, but one that worked - waving at her granddaughters and Tanya as they left the house (family), waving at Alfie and his son across the Square (new Walford) and asking a passing Phil about Lexi's progress (old Walford). The symbolism of that scene?
Dot is the new lychpin of Walford. The baton has passed from the late Pat to the current Dot.
The courtroom scene was typical and traditional Dot drama, from start to finish - Dot objecting timidly, but assertively to Ian's hired solicitor doing what solicitor's are paid to do (and one wonders who's paying for her time), Fatboy's rambling character reference for Dot, which - as the judge pointed out - served no purpose, and finally Dot's unsolicited statement (and by that time, with the judge sitting back and mumbling, "In your own time," the piece had taken on an aura of Mr Smith Goes to Washington ...
Well, maybe not quite a filibuster, but a heartfelt speech, completely done in classic Dot-speak, and even ending with the remark that Dot isn't one to gossip.
The fact remains, however, that Dot has lived in council accommodation all her life. She would have known the rules about taking in "paying guests." A lodger has to be declared to the council, because they are contributing to Dot's share of the rent she pays, and as such, her housing benefit will be decreased. Also, Dot inhabits a three bedroomed terraced house in London, a council property. She was right when she said it had been described officially as inadequately occupied. Three bedroomed council properties are for families, not a single, elderly person. Besides, from Monday, Dot would be having at least 14 quid deducted from her housing benefit because of the new bedroom tax, and if Poppy weren't there, she'd be having 28 quid deducted. She also should have known that council properties can't be sublet either (even though the Slater property, which should be in Charlie's name, is being sublet by the invisible Big Mo).
However, Dot-speak and all, for its references to the past and its consistency of character, I liked this vignette; and it's official: Arthur Chubb is seriously a nice guy.
Does the Ice Queen Cometh?
From Jack to Ronnie:-
OK, look ... I know the Branning's mantra is "out of sight, out of mind," when it comes to loving the one you're with, but all it takes to re-ignite the passion is for whatever has been out of sight to make an appearance in some way, shape or form ...
Tanya slinking around Walford on the flimsiest excuse when Max is cosying down with Vanessa, and now, out of the blue, the Ice Queen cometh via letter to Jack. Not only that, but unseen Ronnie rings Roxy to say she's being released in the very near future, a fact which Roxy keeps from Alfie and which Jack keeps from Alfie and which Katshit is keeping from Alfie.
But Jack's got this letter he won't open; instead, he just sits in his office at the boxing club, remembering the Ice Queen
No, he doesn't. Jack's not into ballet, that's Denny in the future, when he's eyed some of Ben's dance videos.
Jack's about to burn the letter, until Roxy walks in.
Here's another shared trait about the Brannings, if you haven't sussed it already - they're cowards, who seek the easy way out. It would have been so easy for Jack to burn that letter and hunker down with Fat Barbie and DamienDen to play happy families, but Roxy pulls him up.
Funny, that of all the women in the show with whom Jack's had romantic encounters, the only one with whom he's had any sort of sexual chemistry has been Roxy. That was a good, if bittersweet trip down memory lane there, and kudos to both of them for referencing their own hurt of Ronnie, as well as how Ronnie's release would affect Alfie and how Ronnie had hurt Jack in her own way. Jack even reiterated Alfie's line cried out in anguish at the height of the babyswap. Jack lost a baby too, and spent four months believing that the child in their home was his son. But for all Jack's tearful regrets at not having a family with Ronnie, it irks me mightily that he forgets his three other living children. It irked me that he told Ronnie that their was the only child who mattered to him - forgetting Penny, whose disablement he caused, forgetting Amy, who lived upstairs from him at that time and forgetting Richard, about whom he could care less. It irks me more even now that he's put all three of them on the backburner in order to be a "good father" to Sharon's son.
So whilst the scene with Rita Simons was eminently watchable, I don't give a rat's arse about Jack's grief.
He still loves Ronnie, and Fat Barbie is just the latest cushion for the pushing, and a shopworn one at that.
It's a Family Affair.
Yet another Branning get-together at the Vic, this time organised by Cora the Bora, out of guilt when Poppy and Arthur bring home to her the real facts about Dot being in danger of losing her home and why she's losing it.
Max offered Dot money, which she refused. Maybe Tanya should, considering that her putrid mother is one of the main reasons Dot's in the predicament she's in.
So Cora organises a lunchtime hoedown in Dot's honour - to celebrate, if she wins the right to stay in her home (so Cora can get drunk in relief) or to commiserate and try to show her she has support, even if no one will offer her a roof over her head, if she loses (whereupon Cora the Bora can drown her sorrows). Any excuse for a drink.
And any excuse for a quibble, and a assumption stated as fact and a retcon.
Spot the retcon?
Max and Tanya are making sausage rolls in the Vic's suddenly Ray-less kitchen. The pub's about to open and there's no Ray to make the lunches? In fact, the lunchtime do sees the pub curiously empty, devoid of people except the Brannings and a few odd, new extras. But where is Ray?
(Hint: Chuckie Venn's Twitter page has obliterated all reference to his being in EastEnders in his profile. Instead, he's touting his agent's telephone number and saying he's free for personal appearances. I reckon Ray's been Big Mowed.)
Back to the retcon ... Max and Tanya are having a sausage roll moment, when Max starts to moan about why they're doing this for Dot at all, when Cora the Bora, the drunken old lag, reminds Max that Dot is his father's wife, and Max should be doing this for Jim.
Max: Leave it out, Cora. Yer only met me old man once in yer life an' vat was 19 years ago at me wedding.
Eh? Did you get that one? No? Well, here it is.
If you recall originally back in 2007 pre-Stax, when Jack showed up on the Square, Tanya remarked that Jack was the only Branning to attend their wedding. Jim and Reenie didn't approve of Max abandoning Rachel and Bradley to marry his teenaged mistress who'd already had his child, so they didn't attend the wedding.
Fast forward to Branning week in 2011, when Derek first entered the Branning front room. He reminisced about having last seen Cora and Rainie at Max's and Tanya's wedding, when both he and Jack attended. Then, we were asked to believe that Jack and Derek attended.
And now the latest line is that Jim and Reenie attended the do. Really, Pete Lawson should have done some research there, but the Branning family has been retconned so much since the 1990s that it's getting confusing and too difficult to fathom. It's a good thing that several of them have left/are leaving. Maybe the retconning will cease.
The quibble? Well, Kirstie is being made to feel distinctly like the outsider here, and she acts it too, showing no sympathy whatsoever for Dot's plight. Her rationale is that Dot broke the law, and she should pay for it. Besides, she was living in that big house all on her own, when they should have it. (Oh, and since when did the B and B do satin sheets? Or is that the Sex Suite?)
Max should have silenced her by reminding her that Dot was his stepmother and her mother-in-law. But he didn't. Too many writers forget familial connections when they shouldn't.
The assumption? Well, the low point of the piece ... Sharon in Branning mode, big hair, big eyelashes, big neck (Christ, she's got a neck as thick as an NFL linebacker! Maybe those pills she pops are really steroids) confiding in Max that Tanya misses him, she reckons. Tanya's told her no such thing. She wouldn't dare, not after swearing off Max this time. Again. But, still, Fat Barbie reckons she and Barbie Big Legs are on the same wave length and she just knows Tanya misses Max. This is just another bitchy ploy to get Max to abandon Kirsty and return to the fragrant Tanya.
I'm beginning to hate Kirsty now as much as I hate Tanya. Max should wake up, smell the coffee and tell them both where to go and how to get there.
Oh, and Dot won her case. She kept her house and returns to wonder why it is that no one on the Square does any work. I do too.
With more episodes like that warm and fuzzy one, we'll soon be hearing this as the new theme for EastEnders:-
I can hear it now. Instead of the duff duffs:-
Goodnight Alfie.
Goodnight Roxy. Goodnight Jean.
Goodnight Alfie. Goodnight Shirl.
Goodnight Jean. 'Ere, do I have to say goodnight to that scumbag Phil Mitchell?
No Shirley. Goodnight Denise.
Goodnight Jean. Goodnight Ian.
Goodnight Denise. Goodnight Mas.
Goodnight Ian. Goodnight Ajay.
Goodnight bruv. Goodnight Patrick.
Heeeeey ... Goodnight Ajay ma man. Goodnight Kim.
Goodnight Patrick. Goodnight Billy.
Goodnight Kim. Goodnight Janine.
But Billy, I've not come back yet. Oh well, goodnight anyway. Goodnight Michael, I'll be home soon.
Wha-? What? Who said that? Goodnight Alice.
Goodnight Michael. Goodnight Joey.
Gronekridepfm.ngie[efdh Aa-asss. Gronekridepfm ngiefefdh Laurrrgh.
Goodnight Joey. Goodnight Uncle Jack.
Goodnight Laruen. Goodnight Sharon.
Goodnight Phil ..er Jack. Goodnight Max.
Goddnight Sharon. Goodnight Babe.
'Ere, 'oo're you callin' babe?
Wha? Big Mo? What are you doin' 'ere?
Ne'mind what I'm doin' ;'ere ... more o' the babe thing please. Oooh, these satin sheets are nice. Fat Elvis never'ad it so good.
Final Observation: Kudos to Mr Lawson for having it brought up tonight in the dialogue about how Walford is suddenly enjoying an epidemic of couples breaking up - Max and Tanya, Mas and Zainab, Alfie and Kat. It's been noticed.
No comments:
Post a Comment