Honestly. They have their own ghost, whose raison d'etre is to defend the cancerous Branning family.
berthesghost opines:-
The first "Branning" to arrive on the Square was Carol Jackson. No mention was made of a family at all. She was introduced as the common-law wife of Alan Jackson and the mother of Bianca, Robbie, Sonia and Billie - all of whom had different fathers.
It was 1995 when the first Branning Branning arrived on the Square - April, Carol's sister. She stuck around about a year, during which time, she was mooted as the oldest Branning child, and in a storyline which lasted precisely one week, we met - away from Walford - Carol's racist dad, Jim; his wife, Reenie; her brother Derek, who - in 1995 - was 32, unmarried, living with the folks and racist (meaning he was younger than Carol and had never been married); Suzy, who was a dowdy, downtrodden young mum with two small children. Then there were the unspeaking "ghosts" (maybe berthesghost has run into them) Max and Jack, who were older, skin-headed, thuggy brothers of Carol.
By the way, from the getgo in 1993, when Carol Jackson arrived on the Square, it was established that there were three Branning brothers, all of whom were older than Carol, and all of whom had beaten the shit out of David Wicks, when they found he'd impregnated Carol.
As "retcon" has been a constant feature of the Branning family, you can see that between 1993 and 1995, they had significantly retconned the order of the siblings yet again. Carol was 34 in 1995; Derek was 32. Until the latest reincarnation of Derek Branning, April was always understood to be the oldest child. When Max arrived in 2006 and Jack in 2007, they were now known as Carol's younger brothers.
All very confusing, but to say that the Brannings have been on the show since 1994 is wrong.
Jim, Derek I and zombie Max and Jack were part of one week-long storyline. April left the show in 1996. Lindsey Coulsen quit in 1997, but returned in 1999 for Bianca's leaving line, a storyline which re-introduced Jim, now living in an old folks' home, with Reenie having died; and this set him up to move onto the Square in order that a schoolaged Sonia would be able to remain in Walford, also to provide a home for Robbie, and to squire and eventually marry Dot.
Kate Harwood, in 2006, upped the ante with the Brannings, with the introduction, first, of Bradley and subsequently Max, Tanya and the girls. Dot had been given a famiily, but prior to that, although she'd been married to Jim, she was more closely aligned with the Beale/Fowlers, considering Sonia had married Martin and they had a child. With Wendy Richard, Natalie Cassidy and James Alexandriou leaving, the then-EP decided to push the Brannings to the fore.
By 2006, the Slaters were already on the wane.
John Yorke and Lorraine Newman introduced this lot in 2000, promising that they were going to be a family as long-lasting and as important as the Fowlers. Executive Producers had been trying to create a seminal family of their own since the Mitchells were created in the early 1990s.
We had George and Annie Palmer. Fail.
We had the Italian DiMarcos, who couldn't even pronounce their names. Epic fail.
The Slaters were going to change all that. They had an entire episode devoted to their introduction, and they found jobs in every aspect of Square life - Lynne divided her time between the cafe and the launderette, her long-standing fiance Gary was a mechanic and conveniently fitted into the Arches dynamic; Kat got work as a barmaid in the Vic; Little Mo was a cleaner there; Zoe helped Mark Fowler on the fruit'n veg stall. Charlie was the neighbourhood cabbie, whose route never veered from Walford.
They also featured, not only in every episode, but in major storylines. Big Mo helped deliver Sonia's surprise baby; Little Mo was the catalyst in Peggy finding out that Frank was cheating on her with Pat. Then there was, "You're not mah muvvah", which was a contingency plan pulled out of the hat by John Yorke, when - one year later - people were completely overdosed on the Slaters.
The family that was to last forever started splitting up after an average of five years. Elaine Lourdan was an alcoholic, who was sacked as Lynne Slater because she kept showing up drunk. The death of Den Watts in 2005 also served as the leaving line for Michelle Ryan, so Zoe was gone. The added cousin, Stacey Slater, was introduced to beef up the numbers, but when Jessie Wallace left "by mutual consent" at the end of 2005, Kacey Ainsworth followed in 2006.
That's when, shortly thereafter, we got a male Slater, Sean, played by Robert Kasinsky, who made it patently clear he was only sticking around for two years, which he did. That left us with creepy Jean, Stacey's and Sean's mother. Jean's like a bad penny - alternately annoying and endearing (but mostly, the former), there was an attempt by Bryan Kirkwood to get rid of her, but in the face of fan displeasure, he allowed her to stay on, instead, axing the character of Charlie Slater.
The mighty Slater family is now reduced to Big Mo (who's a Harris, by the way) and that eternal background character who emerges, like the Greek chorus of old, to issue comments about various storylines and Jean, who is only a Slater by marriage and is also, more or less, a secondary character. In fact, TPTB don't know what to do with Jean, in the absence of Stacey. She's either a dippy, comedy figure whose actions border on creepy, a pejorative evil sprite possessed with an unnatural hatred of Janine or a tragic woman suffering from bi-polar syndrome. The only time Jean emerges in a storyline of her own is either to pursue an inappropriate man or to have something traumatic happen that produces a bi-polar episode and ends with Kat giving her a bath.
Besides, the remnants of the Slater family have now been absorbed by the Moons. Kat refers to herself by her married name of Kat Moon.
The Brannings, on the other hand, have insinuated themselves into practically every family and every storyline incumbent to the Square.
Stacey Slater married Bradley Branning and slept with Max Branning. Her brother Sean, slept with Tanya Branning. Jack Branning has slept with Ronnie Mitchell, Roxy Mitchell and Sam Mitchell and fathered children on all three. The Brannings are involved with the Beales, by virtue of Bianca being Ian's niece on her father's side. Derek Branning's horny, mouth-breathing son has porked Ian's bony daughter; Jack has also slept with Chelsea Fox, so there's a connection there. Cora the Bora, who's about to be made homeless by the Wrath of Dot, will inevitably end up shacked up at the B and B, on Patrick's charity, helping him out in his hour of need, so there's an even stronger link to the the Fox-Truman element.
Tyler Moon is living at the Butcher-Jacksons' shacked up with Whitney Dean, a Branning satellite. He's also boned skanky Lauren Branning. His brother was involved with MyAlice Branning, now known, pathetically as Aaaa-aaasss.
Derek Branning has been shagging the Walford bike, Kat Moon for the past six months.
As for storylines, Derek tried to involve himself in "influencing" Ben both before and after Ben's extermination of Heather. He picked Shirley up in the pub one night when she was steaming drunk.
Pat Evans's last episode, the one of her death, was taken over by Derek, Max and Tanya Branning. It became a vehicle for Derek to make vague threats to a dying woman, and Max and Tanya turned it into a hyperventilation exercise in Tanya realising that she has a cancer cold, herself. The ensuing two weeks were all about the Brannings and their hatred of David Wicks.
Tanya and Max aided Alfie in searching for Ian when he went missing.
Since Sharon's returned, she's become a B-list character, worshipping at the Branning altar - sleeping with Jack her first night back in Walford, someone whom she hadn't known existed 24 hours before. Rather than finding a flat for herself and her son, now that she's got a job, she prostitutes herself to Jack Branning for a free roof over her head. She's been seen begging for crumbs from Queen Tanya's table in a pathetic attempt to have Tanya declare herself Sharon's BFF. In the meantime, we've yet to hear Sharon utter the names of either Michelle or Vicky, her real best friend and her sister.
The Branning connection has been superimposed on the most important female friendship in the history of EastEnders.
Now, the Brannings, having exhausted all contacts on the Square, are turning to inbreeding, with the spoiled, lazy, entitled oldest daughter of Max Branning, deciding after one bonk on the family sofa with her inarticulate, steroidically-enhanced, intellectually-challenged first cousin; and even the soon-to-arrive Afro-Carribbean Branning satellite, Dexter, is going to start the ball rolling by coming onto Cousin Abi.
The only good thing going for this parasitic family of leeches is the introduction of Kirstie Branning, Max's lawfully wedded wife, whose purpose, I think, is to contribute to the decline and fall of this cancerous, inbred, white trash family.
Derek has snuffed it. Kirstie will be responsible for white trash Tanya to scurry from Walford in a haze of dirty knickers. Let's hope someone has the balls to realise that Aaa-aaass is insipid and Joey is played by an actor who seriously needs to see a speech therapist. Lauren is hated by most viewers with any common sense, and is only wanked over by sad, teenaged boys. Until she arrived on the sceen, most EastEnders' ingenues had positive ambitiions, drive and wanted to move forward and better themselves. She offers nothing of that. As far as her talent goes, she shouts, her mouth hangs open and she gurns. She also uses exaggerated arm and facial expressions. This is not the stage.
Someone also needs to take a power saw to that plank of wood known as Jack. If Jack is kept on, use him in storylines concerning his siblings. As a romantic lead, he sucks the life out of anyone playing opposite him.
The Slaters are a spent force and have been, really, since 2005. Stacey's storyline arc was intrinsically involved with the Brannings for the most part, and when she left Walford, she was still Stacey Branning. Kat is now a Moon.
But TPTB have allowed themselves to be guided by a lazy head writer who seems only wanting to dwell on the creation of more and more Brannings. Yes, the Slaters dominated episodes and storylines from time to time. So did the Mitchells. And the Watts and the Beales. But there have been times when we have seen weeks' worth of episodes featuring only the Brannings, and there is not one episode during the past two years where we have not at least seen one.
The axe needs to fall and berthesghost needs to do some research.
berthesghost opines:-
The Brannings have been on the show since 1994 and the Slaters since 2000. Neither family ever "went". We all have our favorites, but why pretend two of the shows most prominent families are fly by night like the Karims or the Ferreiras?OK, I feel compelled to comment here.
The first "Branning" to arrive on the Square was Carol Jackson. No mention was made of a family at all. She was introduced as the common-law wife of Alan Jackson and the mother of Bianca, Robbie, Sonia and Billie - all of whom had different fathers.
It was 1995 when the first Branning Branning arrived on the Square - April, Carol's sister. She stuck around about a year, during which time, she was mooted as the oldest Branning child, and in a storyline which lasted precisely one week, we met - away from Walford - Carol's racist dad, Jim; his wife, Reenie; her brother Derek, who - in 1995 - was 32, unmarried, living with the folks and racist (meaning he was younger than Carol and had never been married); Suzy, who was a dowdy, downtrodden young mum with two small children. Then there were the unspeaking "ghosts" (maybe berthesghost has run into them) Max and Jack, who were older, skin-headed, thuggy brothers of Carol.
By the way, from the getgo in 1993, when Carol Jackson arrived on the Square, it was established that there were three Branning brothers, all of whom were older than Carol, and all of whom had beaten the shit out of David Wicks, when they found he'd impregnated Carol.
As "retcon" has been a constant feature of the Branning family, you can see that between 1993 and 1995, they had significantly retconned the order of the siblings yet again. Carol was 34 in 1995; Derek was 32. Until the latest reincarnation of Derek Branning, April was always understood to be the oldest child. When Max arrived in 2006 and Jack in 2007, they were now known as Carol's younger brothers.
All very confusing, but to say that the Brannings have been on the show since 1994 is wrong.
Jim, Derek I and zombie Max and Jack were part of one week-long storyline. April left the show in 1996. Lindsey Coulsen quit in 1997, but returned in 1999 for Bianca's leaving line, a storyline which re-introduced Jim, now living in an old folks' home, with Reenie having died; and this set him up to move onto the Square in order that a schoolaged Sonia would be able to remain in Walford, also to provide a home for Robbie, and to squire and eventually marry Dot.
Kate Harwood, in 2006, upped the ante with the Brannings, with the introduction, first, of Bradley and subsequently Max, Tanya and the girls. Dot had been given a famiily, but prior to that, although she'd been married to Jim, she was more closely aligned with the Beale/Fowlers, considering Sonia had married Martin and they had a child. With Wendy Richard, Natalie Cassidy and James Alexandriou leaving, the then-EP decided to push the Brannings to the fore.
By 2006, the Slaters were already on the wane.
John Yorke and Lorraine Newman introduced this lot in 2000, promising that they were going to be a family as long-lasting and as important as the Fowlers. Executive Producers had been trying to create a seminal family of their own since the Mitchells were created in the early 1990s.
We had George and Annie Palmer. Fail.
We had the Italian DiMarcos, who couldn't even pronounce their names. Epic fail.
The Slaters were going to change all that. They had an entire episode devoted to their introduction, and they found jobs in every aspect of Square life - Lynne divided her time between the cafe and the launderette, her long-standing fiance Gary was a mechanic and conveniently fitted into the Arches dynamic; Kat got work as a barmaid in the Vic; Little Mo was a cleaner there; Zoe helped Mark Fowler on the fruit'n veg stall. Charlie was the neighbourhood cabbie, whose route never veered from Walford.
They also featured, not only in every episode, but in major storylines. Big Mo helped deliver Sonia's surprise baby; Little Mo was the catalyst in Peggy finding out that Frank was cheating on her with Pat. Then there was, "You're not mah muvvah", which was a contingency plan pulled out of the hat by John Yorke, when - one year later - people were completely overdosed on the Slaters.
The family that was to last forever started splitting up after an average of five years. Elaine Lourdan was an alcoholic, who was sacked as Lynne Slater because she kept showing up drunk. The death of Den Watts in 2005 also served as the leaving line for Michelle Ryan, so Zoe was gone. The added cousin, Stacey Slater, was introduced to beef up the numbers, but when Jessie Wallace left "by mutual consent" at the end of 2005, Kacey Ainsworth followed in 2006.
That's when, shortly thereafter, we got a male Slater, Sean, played by Robert Kasinsky, who made it patently clear he was only sticking around for two years, which he did. That left us with creepy Jean, Stacey's and Sean's mother. Jean's like a bad penny - alternately annoying and endearing (but mostly, the former), there was an attempt by Bryan Kirkwood to get rid of her, but in the face of fan displeasure, he allowed her to stay on, instead, axing the character of Charlie Slater.
The mighty Slater family is now reduced to Big Mo (who's a Harris, by the way) and that eternal background character who emerges, like the Greek chorus of old, to issue comments about various storylines and Jean, who is only a Slater by marriage and is also, more or less, a secondary character. In fact, TPTB don't know what to do with Jean, in the absence of Stacey. She's either a dippy, comedy figure whose actions border on creepy, a pejorative evil sprite possessed with an unnatural hatred of Janine or a tragic woman suffering from bi-polar syndrome. The only time Jean emerges in a storyline of her own is either to pursue an inappropriate man or to have something traumatic happen that produces a bi-polar episode and ends with Kat giving her a bath.
Besides, the remnants of the Slater family have now been absorbed by the Moons. Kat refers to herself by her married name of Kat Moon.
The Brannings, on the other hand, have insinuated themselves into practically every family and every storyline incumbent to the Square.
Stacey Slater married Bradley Branning and slept with Max Branning. Her brother Sean, slept with Tanya Branning. Jack Branning has slept with Ronnie Mitchell, Roxy Mitchell and Sam Mitchell and fathered children on all three. The Brannings are involved with the Beales, by virtue of Bianca being Ian's niece on her father's side. Derek Branning's horny, mouth-breathing son has porked Ian's bony daughter; Jack has also slept with Chelsea Fox, so there's a connection there. Cora the Bora, who's about to be made homeless by the Wrath of Dot, will inevitably end up shacked up at the B and B, on Patrick's charity, helping him out in his hour of need, so there's an even stronger link to the the Fox-Truman element.
Tyler Moon is living at the Butcher-Jacksons' shacked up with Whitney Dean, a Branning satellite. He's also boned skanky Lauren Branning. His brother was involved with MyAlice Branning, now known, pathetically as Aaaa-aaasss.
Derek Branning has been shagging the Walford bike, Kat Moon for the past six months.
As for storylines, Derek tried to involve himself in "influencing" Ben both before and after Ben's extermination of Heather. He picked Shirley up in the pub one night when she was steaming drunk.
Pat Evans's last episode, the one of her death, was taken over by Derek, Max and Tanya Branning. It became a vehicle for Derek to make vague threats to a dying woman, and Max and Tanya turned it into a hyperventilation exercise in Tanya realising that she has a cancer cold, herself. The ensuing two weeks were all about the Brannings and their hatred of David Wicks.
Tanya and Max aided Alfie in searching for Ian when he went missing.
Since Sharon's returned, she's become a B-list character, worshipping at the Branning altar - sleeping with Jack her first night back in Walford, someone whom she hadn't known existed 24 hours before. Rather than finding a flat for herself and her son, now that she's got a job, she prostitutes herself to Jack Branning for a free roof over her head. She's been seen begging for crumbs from Queen Tanya's table in a pathetic attempt to have Tanya declare herself Sharon's BFF. In the meantime, we've yet to hear Sharon utter the names of either Michelle or Vicky, her real best friend and her sister.
The Branning connection has been superimposed on the most important female friendship in the history of EastEnders.
Now, the Brannings, having exhausted all contacts on the Square, are turning to inbreeding, with the spoiled, lazy, entitled oldest daughter of Max Branning, deciding after one bonk on the family sofa with her inarticulate, steroidically-enhanced, intellectually-challenged first cousin; and even the soon-to-arrive Afro-Carribbean Branning satellite, Dexter, is going to start the ball rolling by coming onto Cousin Abi.
The only good thing going for this parasitic family of leeches is the introduction of Kirstie Branning, Max's lawfully wedded wife, whose purpose, I think, is to contribute to the decline and fall of this cancerous, inbred, white trash family.
Derek has snuffed it. Kirstie will be responsible for white trash Tanya to scurry from Walford in a haze of dirty knickers. Let's hope someone has the balls to realise that Aaa-aaass is insipid and Joey is played by an actor who seriously needs to see a speech therapist. Lauren is hated by most viewers with any common sense, and is only wanked over by sad, teenaged boys. Until she arrived on the sceen, most EastEnders' ingenues had positive ambitiions, drive and wanted to move forward and better themselves. She offers nothing of that. As far as her talent goes, she shouts, her mouth hangs open and she gurns. She also uses exaggerated arm and facial expressions. This is not the stage.
Someone also needs to take a power saw to that plank of wood known as Jack. If Jack is kept on, use him in storylines concerning his siblings. As a romantic lead, he sucks the life out of anyone playing opposite him.
The Slaters are a spent force and have been, really, since 2005. Stacey's storyline arc was intrinsically involved with the Brannings for the most part, and when she left Walford, she was still Stacey Branning. Kat is now a Moon.
But TPTB have allowed themselves to be guided by a lazy head writer who seems only wanting to dwell on the creation of more and more Brannings. Yes, the Slaters dominated episodes and storylines from time to time. So did the Mitchells. And the Watts and the Beales. But there have been times when we have seen weeks' worth of episodes featuring only the Brannings, and there is not one episode during the past two years where we have not at least seen one.
The axe needs to fall and berthesghost needs to do some research.
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