Or ... this could be A Tale of Three Bitches.
Hmmm ... no, well, how about something a bit Dickensian as in, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Because that's what we saw in this watchable, but ofttimes mediocre episode tonight.
Here are ...
The Highs
Team Janine.
I've always shipped a Janine-Sharon friendship, even to the point that I wanted them to buy the Vic and be joint landladies. Their connection is obvious - both much-loved daughters of iconic Vic landlords, who both had feet of clay. They left their daughters with massive daddy issues and an inveterate love for a piece of brick and mortar, where they both, inexplicably, feel safe.
Sharon and Janine had known each other since Janine was a small child and Sharon a teenager. Sharon was once engaged to another of Janine's step-brothers, Simon Wicks, and she often babysat Janine when Janine was a child. Sharon also fronted the Vic when Janine found herself abandoned by Frank as a teenager.
Yet, for some unknown reason, the Bryan Kirkwood/Lorraine Newman writing room sought to have Sharon introduce herself to Janine as a complete stranger ...
You may not remember me ...
... was the way Sharon began her first and one of a few conversations with Janine.
Yet another of many massive retcons, disrupting the established past of the programme. Sharon and Janine would never be friends, but Sharon and Tanya, strangely, would. Go figure.
Tonight, it was difficult not to feel for Janine, especially as she was played by David, one step-brother, and squeezed to the financial limit by another step-brother, for people forget that Phil Mitchell is also Janine's step-brother.
If the bigger offer Phil received were real and were submitted by the mysterious Mick Carter, he must be money-laden from running a Watford pub, and how quickly can a pub be sold, especially during the Christmas period? The asking price for the Vic was a cheap £850k, but now Phil wants 1.250 million quid.
From the very beginning, we see Janine's trust issues rise to the fore, from her remarks to David, we realise how much she worries about what her actions will mean for Scarlett, and how much she recognises exactly how similar David was to her own warped and vulnerable personality, when she begged David to keep her information to himself.
Because I would use it. If it were me, I'd use it. I'd pick my moment and use it.
Which is exactly what David intended to do. And which was low, even for him. Of course, the tape would have no bearing in a court of law. It was obtained illegally and would be classed as inadmissable evidence. It was quite poignant to see how much getting the Vic really meant to her, the only place she considered home, a place that would bring both Frank and Pat closer to her in spirit.
This whole reveal will absolutely devastate Janine and destroy any element of trust she had tried to build within herself. Yet another family member has let her down, this time in the worst way. Janine will never recover from this psychologically; even now, the only member of the Jackson-Butcher dynamic to ever be civil to her was Whitney, and it will be interesting to see the twist in the tale promised when Charlie Brooks returns to tie up loose ends in the next few months.
The drip, drip, drip of tension rises as Janine realises that she's been played and what David's price is was wonderfully paced. This, and its integrated tie to the new ownership of the Vic will be the major attractions for EastEnders' Christmas Tale.
Will Janine get away with what was clearly something done in self-defence? Will she stitch Alice up? I hope so on both counts, and I hope she someday wreaks her revenge on David.
Because we all know that David is essentially a loser.
HoneyMoon.
Yes, I know they're out of fashion, and people are now gagging a maggot to get the Moons out of the Vic, but I loved their scenes tonight, and now that Newman's achieved her goal to reunite Kat and Alfie, I trust there'll be no more cheating from Kat.
I'm sure Kat knows she's pregnant, which is where all her cryptic remarks about not needing the Vic to be happy are coming from. Out of all this comes the wonderful Big Mo, back again and living on the Square. The scene she had with Alfie brought tears to my eyes, with the genuine fondness that exists between the two of them.
Of course, the Moons will live with Big Mo. I wouldn't expect anything else, and Stacey will join them in due time.For anyone whining about Alfie finding a job, consider how difficult it was for him to stay on there, whilst the place was sold from beneath him, and working to keep a profit.
As for the Vic's decor, Janine should realise that Phil and Sharon decorated the flat upstairs when the Moons were away on their sudden holiday in the autumn of 2012, when it was discovered that Kat was having an affair. So that decor was down to Sharon's and Phil's taste.
The Mehs
The Eternal Beale RomCom.
I love the pairing of Peter and Lola, but I hate the romcom TPTB have contrived from this situation, including the inevitable inclusion of Denise as a sub-plot to this EastEnd Romeo and Juliet tale.
Well, at last Lola's learned something from the Mitchells, not to make empty threats, and we see how much Phil now scares her - not at all. So why is everyone else afraid of him?
All this kerfuffle contrived to get the Square's current resident ingenue couple to publicise the fact that they are an item and bring their families together. The awful scenes where Peter and Ian would begin a bit of dialogue, only to have the rest of the dialogue choreographed to match and complete the Beales' beginning by Phil and Lola. All it took in the end was Lola threatening that Phil would no longer see Lexi, and Phil rolls over for his belly to be rubbed.
The constipated scenes of Ian trying to be nice to Phil and then Phil reluctantly inviting Ian didn't even come close to being funny. This Beale-Mitchell fiasco has gone on for far too long.
Throw into the mix, Ian making a pig's ear of asking Patrick for Denise's hand in marriage - still no sign or mention of Kim.
Listen, between them, Ian and Denise have had seven ... SEVEN marriages. And it wasn't that long ago that Denise totally disdained Ian. Now, egged on by Patrick, we have her rummaging through the Beales' Christmas presents in desperate search for the engagement ring and finding nothing but an oven gloves, with ethnic decoration that Denise interprets as racist.
The twist in the tale - tee-hee-hee-ha-ha-NOT - was the fact that Ian really was intending on proposing, and had hid the ring in his jacket pocket. Ian the serial monogamist. How long before desperate Denise cheats with someone else.
The Lows
Bianca is a Bitch.
And Terry is a coward and a liar.
The Spraggan kids, TJ andHeather Jr the odious Rosie, miss their mother. And their mother is going to be on her own on Christmas Day - something that Bianca almost relishes, which is mean in and of itself.
How she can refer to the Spraggan kids as being products of a broken home, when it's obvious that her children, thanks to Carol's bullying and Bianca's stupidity, are products of a broken home many times over.
I thought it was really common how she made fun of Nikki's career as an airline hostess, while Nikki was next door having some quality time with her children. It was even more common for Terry to allow that - after all, Nikki is the mother of his children, and his lie about her being gone for weeks and months before seeing them was an obvious lie as well. His remark about her "buying their love" with presents was pretty callous also. Because that's the sad fact about non-custodial parents - they are, sadly, the ones who buy the presents.
I adore Nikki. She's the Spraggan Sam Mitchell, out to put Bianca in her place and it's abundantly clear that there's loads that Bianca doesn't know about Terry - like how he begged his wife not to leave him. I'm amazed that she's surprised that Terry's kids would rather spend Christmas with their mother than in a houseful of strangers whom they neither know or like.
And has Ricky's name even been mentioned in all of this? Why has it not been mentioned that Liam or Tiff may want to spend time with him? For all Bianca belittles Nikki, Nikki comes across the better person, when she puts Bianca firmly in her place when Bianca poo-poohs her offer of duty free from Nikki. At the end of the day, Nikki has a well-paid job, loves her kids and has never been feckless or been to prison.
I can't imagine Terry actually expecting his children to want to turn their back on their mother for a houseful of chavvy strangers. Now you see the fragility of this relationship and you wonder how long it will be before the cracks start cracking.
Morgan and Rosie, however, are seriously obese, and childhood obesity is a subject maybe TPTB should consider tackling - Morgan cadging sweets and Rosie putting together a Christmas menu on her wish list are serious causes for concern.
Buck Up, Carol.
Carol being moodier, hoarding letters about her mammogram, being the subtle diva by burning her Santa's wish list of "I Don't Want to Die," is too maudlin to inspire sympathy. Not in a hard-faced cow like Carol.
There you go ... you shouldn't have bullied your daughter's husband out of Walford, should you have, bitch? Karma bites hard.
Filler ep on the tails of a poor showing from Friday night. Christmas week needs to kick off.
Hmmm ... no, well, how about something a bit Dickensian as in, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Because that's what we saw in this watchable, but ofttimes mediocre episode tonight.
Here are ...
The Highs
Team Janine.
Sharon and Janine had known each other since Janine was a small child and Sharon a teenager. Sharon was once engaged to another of Janine's step-brothers, Simon Wicks, and she often babysat Janine when Janine was a child. Sharon also fronted the Vic when Janine found herself abandoned by Frank as a teenager.
Yet, for some unknown reason, the Bryan Kirkwood/Lorraine Newman writing room sought to have Sharon introduce herself to Janine as a complete stranger ...
You may not remember me ...
... was the way Sharon began her first and one of a few conversations with Janine.
Yet another of many massive retcons, disrupting the established past of the programme. Sharon and Janine would never be friends, but Sharon and Tanya, strangely, would. Go figure.
Tonight, it was difficult not to feel for Janine, especially as she was played by David, one step-brother, and squeezed to the financial limit by another step-brother, for people forget that Phil Mitchell is also Janine's step-brother.
If the bigger offer Phil received were real and were submitted by the mysterious Mick Carter, he must be money-laden from running a Watford pub, and how quickly can a pub be sold, especially during the Christmas period? The asking price for the Vic was a cheap £850k, but now Phil wants 1.250 million quid.
From the very beginning, we see Janine's trust issues rise to the fore, from her remarks to David, we realise how much she worries about what her actions will mean for Scarlett, and how much she recognises exactly how similar David was to her own warped and vulnerable personality, when she begged David to keep her information to himself.
Because I would use it. If it were me, I'd use it. I'd pick my moment and use it.
Which is exactly what David intended to do. And which was low, even for him. Of course, the tape would have no bearing in a court of law. It was obtained illegally and would be classed as inadmissable evidence. It was quite poignant to see how much getting the Vic really meant to her, the only place she considered home, a place that would bring both Frank and Pat closer to her in spirit.
This whole reveal will absolutely devastate Janine and destroy any element of trust she had tried to build within herself. Yet another family member has let her down, this time in the worst way. Janine will never recover from this psychologically; even now, the only member of the Jackson-Butcher dynamic to ever be civil to her was Whitney, and it will be interesting to see the twist in the tale promised when Charlie Brooks returns to tie up loose ends in the next few months.
The drip, drip, drip of tension rises as Janine realises that she's been played and what David's price is was wonderfully paced. This, and its integrated tie to the new ownership of the Vic will be the major attractions for EastEnders' Christmas Tale.
Will Janine get away with what was clearly something done in self-defence? Will she stitch Alice up? I hope so on both counts, and I hope she someday wreaks her revenge on David.
Because we all know that David is essentially a loser.
HoneyMoon.
I'm sure Kat knows she's pregnant, which is where all her cryptic remarks about not needing the Vic to be happy are coming from. Out of all this comes the wonderful Big Mo, back again and living on the Square. The scene she had with Alfie brought tears to my eyes, with the genuine fondness that exists between the two of them.
Of course, the Moons will live with Big Mo. I wouldn't expect anything else, and Stacey will join them in due time.For anyone whining about Alfie finding a job, consider how difficult it was for him to stay on there, whilst the place was sold from beneath him, and working to keep a profit.
As for the Vic's decor, Janine should realise that Phil and Sharon decorated the flat upstairs when the Moons were away on their sudden holiday in the autumn of 2012, when it was discovered that Kat was having an affair. So that decor was down to Sharon's and Phil's taste.
The Mehs
The Eternal Beale RomCom.
I love the pairing of Peter and Lola, but I hate the romcom TPTB have contrived from this situation, including the inevitable inclusion of Denise as a sub-plot to this EastEnd Romeo and Juliet tale.
Well, at last Lola's learned something from the Mitchells, not to make empty threats, and we see how much Phil now scares her - not at all. So why is everyone else afraid of him?
All this kerfuffle contrived to get the Square's current resident ingenue couple to publicise the fact that they are an item and bring their families together. The awful scenes where Peter and Ian would begin a bit of dialogue, only to have the rest of the dialogue choreographed to match and complete the Beales' beginning by Phil and Lola. All it took in the end was Lola threatening that Phil would no longer see Lexi, and Phil rolls over for his belly to be rubbed.
The constipated scenes of Ian trying to be nice to Phil and then Phil reluctantly inviting Ian didn't even come close to being funny. This Beale-Mitchell fiasco has gone on for far too long.
Throw into the mix, Ian making a pig's ear of asking Patrick for Denise's hand in marriage - still no sign or mention of Kim.
Listen, between them, Ian and Denise have had seven ... SEVEN marriages. And it wasn't that long ago that Denise totally disdained Ian. Now, egged on by Patrick, we have her rummaging through the Beales' Christmas presents in desperate search for the engagement ring and finding nothing but an oven gloves, with ethnic decoration that Denise interprets as racist.
The twist in the tale - tee-hee-hee-ha-ha-NOT - was the fact that Ian really was intending on proposing, and had hid the ring in his jacket pocket. Ian the serial monogamist. How long before desperate Denise cheats with someone else.
The Lows
Bianca is a Bitch.
And Terry is a coward and a liar.
The Spraggan kids, TJ and
How she can refer to the Spraggan kids as being products of a broken home, when it's obvious that her children, thanks to Carol's bullying and Bianca's stupidity, are products of a broken home many times over.
I thought it was really common how she made fun of Nikki's career as an airline hostess, while Nikki was next door having some quality time with her children. It was even more common for Terry to allow that - after all, Nikki is the mother of his children, and his lie about her being gone for weeks and months before seeing them was an obvious lie as well. His remark about her "buying their love" with presents was pretty callous also. Because that's the sad fact about non-custodial parents - they are, sadly, the ones who buy the presents.
I adore Nikki. She's the Spraggan Sam Mitchell, out to put Bianca in her place and it's abundantly clear that there's loads that Bianca doesn't know about Terry - like how he begged his wife not to leave him. I'm amazed that she's surprised that Terry's kids would rather spend Christmas with their mother than in a houseful of strangers whom they neither know or like.
And has Ricky's name even been mentioned in all of this? Why has it not been mentioned that Liam or Tiff may want to spend time with him? For all Bianca belittles Nikki, Nikki comes across the better person, when she puts Bianca firmly in her place when Bianca poo-poohs her offer of duty free from Nikki. At the end of the day, Nikki has a well-paid job, loves her kids and has never been feckless or been to prison.
I can't imagine Terry actually expecting his children to want to turn their back on their mother for a houseful of chavvy strangers. Now you see the fragility of this relationship and you wonder how long it will be before the cracks start cracking.
Morgan and Rosie, however, are seriously obese, and childhood obesity is a subject maybe TPTB should consider tackling - Morgan cadging sweets and Rosie putting together a Christmas menu on her wish list are serious causes for concern.
Buck Up, Carol.
Carol being moodier, hoarding letters about her mammogram, being the subtle diva by burning her Santa's wish list of "I Don't Want to Die," is too maudlin to inspire sympathy. Not in a hard-faced cow like Carol.
There you go ... you shouldn't have bullied your daughter's husband out of Walford, should you have, bitch? Karma bites hard.
Filler ep on the tails of a poor showing from Friday night. Christmas week needs to kick off.
Why do they have to ruin everything on ee ?
ReplyDeleteWhy paint a 'reformed character' picture of DW only to shit on his own step sister ? It was the same with Phil, robbing Roxy for 20k.
Of all the folk I know that don't watch we, they all state the same reason - "it's full of misery". It's difficult not to agree. Totally unrealistic.
All they ever do is go round robbing each other - don't forget the 10k that was stolen by Cindy. Then there was Tina stealing from another family member.
I'm glad that you're enjoying more because I'm not finding it any better - quite the opposite.
Anyhow - Merry Christmas Emilia - hope you & the family have a nice day and all.