Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water ...
EastEnders goes mediocre mode again. Feature an episode not only centering on the Brannings, but also on every other misbegotten, miserable, unlikeable character, and something will pong.
Put it this way - when the highlights of the episode are Kat and Terry cutting up raw meat and Mick doing an impersonation of Alfie Moon at the pub, then something's smelling pretty rotten once again.
The Epiphany.
You know you're on a hiding to nothing when Whitney comes out as the only adult in the Butcher-Beale-Jackson household, but even she bottled out in the end.
The big mystery concerning everyone is the identity of owner of the pregnancy test found in Carol's kitchen bin.
When David comes into the kitchen, the only thing he's concerned about is crowing about how he is now Max Branning's boss, how he managed to buy the freehold of the car lot from Roxy and bought into half of the shares of the business. Bianca really is one stupid bitch.
Did no one ever think to wonder where David came about such a sum of money? And does he not realise that Janine just might get off this charge, and when she does, she'll be coming after his fat arse with a vengeance?
When Whitney put him in his place by pointing out the sheer selishness of his actions when he should be worried about Carol, David scored a hattrick by, once again, self-righteously pointing out that he bought the business as a security for Carol. Whitney's riposte was the line of the night:-
So there's nothing in it for you then?
I also didn't think much of David's advice to Liam about the odious Cindy the Greek situation. David really is the worst sort of role model for a young lad like Liam. Liam is fifteen, and here is his grandfather, who fathered his mother as a teenager and then assume any sort of responsibility until she was an adult, who walked out on two other small children and later abandoned his mentally ill son, urging Liam to "get in there" with another fifteen year-old girl.
David is a puketard, and I can't wait for him to lose everything he's got.
The Children's Hour. Again.
You know, I don't give a rat's arse about hairy Cindy the Greek. She's one of the most obnoxious, self-entitled characters on the show, she's utterly pointless, and she, like Jossa, loves the camera panning in on her. She looks and sounds like a boy in drag.
Who couldn't see this one coming? The way TJ was constantly dissuading Liam's pursuit of that little slut, and the characteristic EastEndes phonecall/text message, this time allowing the audience to see Liam contemplate texting Cindy, when the message actually comes from TJ, and it's obvious that he's the dad in question.
Is this going to be a repeat of Carol-David, or will it be a repeat of Sonia-Martin, or will he not want to know and dippy Liam take responsibility? Add to that, the rumour Whitney inadvertantly started when she lied to say the pregnancy test was hers, and said she'd been fooling around with Johnnie might have been innocent, but the reactions of Bianca and David ...
Maybe that straightend'im out ... Maybe she turned'im.
... were disgusting to the extreme. Even Carol laughed. Proves they don't give a hoot about anyone but themselves.
I don't give a fuck whether this dire child actress has the child or has an abortion. I want her to leave the screens now.
This is one storyline and one character the show could do without.
The Highlights of the Show.
- Kat and Terry doing a Sweeney Todd and having a laugh about the raw meat Alfie bought ...
- And how can anyone miss Alfie when Mick's doing such an apt impersonation of his mannerisms and voice back at the Vic, with Linda in her AngieLite mode. Channeling the past. Some hope.
Coulda been better, especially on the night ITV killed off Hayley.
EastEnders goes mediocre mode again. Feature an episode not only centering on the Brannings, but also on every other misbegotten, miserable, unlikeable character, and something will pong.
Put it this way - when the highlights of the episode are Kat and Terry cutting up raw meat and Mick doing an impersonation of Alfie Moon at the pub, then something's smelling pretty rotten once again.
The Epiphany.
The Jake Reveal showed the Brannings and their satellites at their utmost worst - Carol jumping the gun, as usual; Max, taking Carol's cue and assuming that Jake the Peg had dipped his third leg in Lauren's wick, and Lauren trying to head them off at the pass.
Of course, it all ended in tears, or something similar, and the Brannings prove what losers they are. I loved Sadie's initial reaction ...
You cheated on me ... with her?
The fact that they all burst in on the Stone home with all their moral indignation was the height of irony - Carol is hardly the moral opprobrium, being more promiscuous than some of the younger girls in Walford, and only recently, having cheated on Masood; and Max, the serial adulterer, himself, confronting someone else who'd committed adultery with a teenager - just like Max did with Tanya (on Rachel) and just like he did with Stacey (on Tanya).
One of the better subtleties in the show was the quirky little smile Max gave Jake as he left the house, the smile that said, You're just like me, mate. Welcome to the club.
But back at the Branning ranch, it's the same old same old. Somehow, all of this is Max's fault. Yep, that's right. Max is the one in the wrong again. Lauren is seeing a married man, and Max should talk to her, like a normal father. Any normal father would have done far worse than Max Branning wanted to do. Can you imagine Phil Mitchell and his baseball bat if Lauren had been his precious Louise?
Even Carol, the Mother of Morality, is pleading with Max to listen to Lauren.
And then, later, we have that epiphany moment. The moment when Lauren realises that she's ceased to be herself and become Max, even using Max's emotional manipulation to make sure Bella keeps "their little secret." (No, Lauren, you haven't just become Max. Let's get this entire equation into perspective now - you've become your Mother as well, chasing about after married men with no thought of their families or the hurt it might cause their children.)
It's not enough for Lauren to realise this (whilst still not accepting her blame in this situation, it's still Max's fault), she has to re-visit the scene of her crime and try to "talk" to Bella? What, exactly, could she hope to say? Well, I can imagine, with funny voices and gurning faces...
See, Bella ... I been frew this before. My dad, 'e was a cheat too, always 'avin' it off wiv someone else not me mum. Best fing you can do is stick wiv yer mum and always, always blame yer old man. 'Ere, when you're old enough to drive, why not try to run 'im over?
So Sadie and Bella have gone. No fuss, just a statement and they're gone. Vanished into thin air, leaving Poppy and Lola unemployed.Just like that.
Jake threatened to drink a bottle of booze, then thought better and smashed it against the wall, a shard of glass cutting Lauren on the face (and you can bet it won't leave a scar). But, hey, that was probably Max's fault too.
Scumbag Beale.
You know you're on a hiding to nothing when Whitney comes out as the only adult in the Butcher-Beale-Jackson household, but even she bottled out in the end.
The big mystery concerning everyone is the identity of owner of the pregnancy test found in Carol's kitchen bin.
When David comes into the kitchen, the only thing he's concerned about is crowing about how he is now Max Branning's boss, how he managed to buy the freehold of the car lot from Roxy and bought into half of the shares of the business. Bianca really is one stupid bitch.
Did no one ever think to wonder where David came about such a sum of money? And does he not realise that Janine just might get off this charge, and when she does, she'll be coming after his fat arse with a vengeance?
When Whitney put him in his place by pointing out the sheer selishness of his actions when he should be worried about Carol, David scored a hattrick by, once again, self-righteously pointing out that he bought the business as a security for Carol. Whitney's riposte was the line of the night:-
So there's nothing in it for you then?
I also didn't think much of David's advice to Liam about the odious Cindy the Greek situation. David really is the worst sort of role model for a young lad like Liam. Liam is fifteen, and here is his grandfather, who fathered his mother as a teenager and then assume any sort of responsibility until she was an adult, who walked out on two other small children and later abandoned his mentally ill son, urging Liam to "get in there" with another fifteen year-old girl.
David is a puketard, and I can't wait for him to lose everything he's got.
The Children's Hour. Again.
You know, I don't give a rat's arse about hairy Cindy the Greek. She's one of the most obnoxious, self-entitled characters on the show, she's utterly pointless, and she, like Jossa, loves the camera panning in on her. She looks and sounds like a boy in drag.
Who couldn't see this one coming? The way TJ was constantly dissuading Liam's pursuit of that little slut, and the characteristic EastEndes phonecall/text message, this time allowing the audience to see Liam contemplate texting Cindy, when the message actually comes from TJ, and it's obvious that he's the dad in question.
Is this going to be a repeat of Carol-David, or will it be a repeat of Sonia-Martin, or will he not want to know and dippy Liam take responsibility? Add to that, the rumour Whitney inadvertantly started when she lied to say the pregnancy test was hers, and said she'd been fooling around with Johnnie might have been innocent, but the reactions of Bianca and David ...
Maybe that straightend'im out ... Maybe she turned'im.
... were disgusting to the extreme. Even Carol laughed. Proves they don't give a hoot about anyone but themselves.
I don't give a fuck whether this dire child actress has the child or has an abortion. I want her to leave the screens now.
This is one storyline and one character the show could do without.
The Highlights of the Show.
- Kat and Terry doing a Sweeney Todd and having a laugh about the raw meat Alfie bought ...
- And how can anyone miss Alfie when Mick's doing such an apt impersonation of his mannerisms and voice back at the Vic, with Linda in her AngieLite mode. Channeling the past. Some hope.
Coulda been better, especially on the night ITV killed off Hayley.
"One of the better subtleties in the show was the quirky little smile Max gave Jake as he left the house, the smile that said, You're just like me, mate. Welcome to the club."
ReplyDeleteThe way I interpreted the smile/smirk was Max being his usual self - an asshole. Kind of an
"I warned you I'd tell your wife if you went near my daughter again - well she knows now and you've lost everything"
This is why I detest Max, such a smug, slimy, gobby little dirt bag.
I credit the actor though as he can also be a likeable character.