So ... the Messiah is going to yuppify Walford, allegedly to reflect that real part of London. Are we going to see Somalis in the street, women in burkhas, and Eastern Europeans using their cacophonied language in the background?
When DTC gave his original interview, it was all about taking the show back to its roots, with a tip to the 80s and 90s. There were yuppies in the original cast - Ross and Debs. Ross got run over by a bus, as I recall, and I can't remember what happened to Debs. Then there was James Wilmot-Brown, who owned the Dagmar, which is now the venue Sharon has bought. Oh, yes ... Wilmot-Brown was a rapist. He raped salt-of-the-earth Kathy Beale, such an icon of Walford that several fanbois who never knew her whine regularly to have her dug up and her zombie brought back to Walford.
The next time we saw yuppies was when DTC earned his stripes during Santer's tenure. Ah, yes ... there was Mad May, the doctor who blew up the Millers' home and tried to gut Dawn for her baby, and there was Stella, the solicitor and child abuser. Bryan Kirkwood continued the tradition of vilifying educated middle-classs professionals with Yusef, the wife-beating doctor.
So now I understand why Max Branning has become a home owner and why David Beale Wicks used blackmail to set himself up as a businessman. The gentrification of trailer trash. But that isn't all. We now learn, from the Messiah's latest gushing Gospel, that Sharon is going to be the doyenne of the yuppy watering hole, whilst his own iconic (only to him) Shirley becomes landlady of the Vic. Of course, the bad guys will drink at Sharon's venue, because that's the tradition established on the Show.
So much for Sharon being brought back "old style." She's going to be plopped behind an up-market bar to play second fiddle to a character who spent seven years on the periphery of several dynamics and belonging to none. A divisive character who's done nothing of any merit to deserve being touted as star of the show.
And so much for Danny Dyer, the name star being the face behind the bar. That was a con too. It's all about Shirley.
And people said that Newman lied.
Tonight was the ugly show.
The Ugly Carters or Poor Pitiful Shirl.
There they are in all their glory. Mick the Weak, Linda the Bigot, Zara Phillips slumming it, Tina the Court Jester ...
... and Poor Pitiful Shirl.
Years ago, when I was a child, there was a doll everyone wanted called Poor Pitiful Pearl, an ugly doll dressed in rags ...
Pearl was a down-and-out, who came in rags, but also had a party dress, which indicated that, somewhere along the line, she came into some good fortune. Well, now EastEnders has Poor Pitiful Shirl.
Because in the Gospel according to Dominic Treadwell-Collins, we're supposed to root for Poor Pitiful Shirl. She's iconic, dontcha know? So he tells us.
We keep learning more and more about the Carters, past and present, and none of it is pretty.
Tonight, we saw Johnnie hanging around the pub again, doing a lunchtime shift. When does he go to classes? Where are his books? Has he taken the place of ridicule once occupied by Ava the Rava, who was a teacher who didn't teach? Johnnie is now the university student, who never leaves home.
Last night, we learned that Mick was weak. Tonight, we saw even more evidence of this - how he and his feckless siblings sat drinking the bar's booze all night, celebrating the fact that they'd filched their old man into handing over 10 grand of his money to them to do over the pub.
We learned how ignorant and shallow Linda is, if we didn't already know, from her remark upon seeing the bag of money ...
Sharon won't know what'it'er ...
... to the ridiculous notion of putting knickers on a dog to fend off the fact that she's on heat. Is this woman so stupid that she doesn't realise that doing that won't mask the scent. Doggie knickers are designed for animal incontinence, so taking her out for a leak, not only would attract male dog attention, she'd pee or poo in her knickers anyway.
That Mick is caught between his rock of a wife and his hard place of a sister. At the moment, Mick the Meek (didn't take long from the whispery-voiced hard man to become the latest pussyman like every other male on the Square),is leaning Team Shirley, based on the fact that she managed to be "brave " enough to face her father, hear a few well-deserved home truths and take the money and run. Nice one.
And we learned tonight, that not only Shirley, but also Tina, was a shit mum.
Basically, what we're being asked to believe is that Shirley, as little more than a child, exerted so much maternal care for her much younger siblings that she had nothing to give to her own children. Like her mother, she abandoned them. Neither of her sons matched whatever feelings she had for Mick, who is not her son. Stan was right to remind her of Dean, and tonight we saw that Shirley is totally incapable of understanding the unconditional love and devotion a child might feel for his or her mother.
She totally couldn't understand Johnnie's defence of his mother's attitude toward Shirley, and she tried to undermine this, by asking Johnnie how he could blanketly defend his mother when she was in total denial about his sexuality. Johnnie's answer was simple and eloquent - Linda was his mother, and he'd defend her, no matter what. It's what a son does.
Not Shirley's son.
Later, she asked Tina if she ever thought of Zsa Zsa - now pay attention, because there's a little bit of retconning here.
(Remember when Zsa Zsa left for Spain back in 2010 to go live with her heterosexual boyfriend and her boyfriend? Remember when Shirley went to visit her when Tina was ill in Spain?)
Well, the new, younger, slimmer Tina shrugs off Zsa Zsa. She's called her a few times, and the girl doesn't want to know her. Then she admits that Tina was off her head most of the time and just sat back and watched Zsa Zsa bring herself up. Anyway, she wished her daughter well. Hardly sounds like a mother.
That's because Tina still is a child. She hasn't grown up and doesn't want to grow up. In fact, she now looks at Mick and Linda as parental figures. When the eponymous name of Aunt Babe is mentioned, Tina is all for seeing her.
Go on, Shirl. Then we could all be togevva again, a family ...
And herewith the revelation ...
Come on, Shirl ... you was like the mum, and then we'ad Aunt Babe, and now we got Mick and Linda ...
As if Mick and Linda were now, in Tina's mind, duty bound to care for Mick's puerile sisters.
But Shirley is worried about the influence Linda still has on Mick after twenty years. Stan's words ring clear - at the end of the day, Mick has a wife and children, and his first devotion is to them, not Shirley.
So now, all of a sudden, even though Mick and Linda have somehow found, on their own, bags of money - over a million quid - to buy the pub, and Shirley's meagre "contribution" - not really a contribution, but guilt money ferreted from her elderly father - entitles her to have her name above the door of the pub. To be the licencee. To be the landlady.
So that's how you get ahead in the world of DTC's iconic heroine - you drink yourself rotten, leech off various men doing nothing, and then you blackmail your family into getting what you want.
If this sulky old slattern is to be the face of EastEnders, then it will be the face that will launce a million viewers into deserting the show. A miserably, bitter old trout who's done nothing and achieved less.
Pass me the puke bucket.
Carol's Pity Party.
Carol the Martyr. The little red hen. Buying Morgan's trainers, working at the cafe, whining about people taking care of her, and yet loving every minute of it.
I've got cancer. I've got cancer. I've got cancer.
Yes, love, so do a lot of other people, who will probably die, but the fact that you're ill doesn't give you the right to treat other people like shit under your feet. She doesn't like David's "interfering" in gettingHonker ...
sorry, Sonia to cover Carol's shift at the cafe. What a business Ian must run, when anyone and everyone can show up and work there. Does he even know that Carol has given Tina a job? Carol? Since when did she have responsibility for the cafe?
Speaking ofHonker Sonia, how rude was she when she arrived at Carol's house? Polite to Terry, who was a stranger to her, but she was openly rude to David ...
David: 'Ello, Sonia. Still playing the trumpet?
Sonia: Hello, David. Still playing the field?
First of all, with her track record and the way she treated Martin, she's in no position to make that sort of remark to David. Plus, the last time she saw this man, she was a child. Then, this is the house where David lives. It's the house owned by his mother and now owned by his step-sister. You don't walk, uninvited, into someone's home and insult them in front of a stranger. Finally, David, whatever he is, is her sister's father.
But I'm not surprised by her rudeness, considering the way Carol treated Nikki, abruptly telling her to leave. Nikki didn't impose, she was invited into the home by David. And she referred to Nikki as "that woman."
Who is "that woman?" She's the mother of Terry's children, and the wife who kicked him out. No, Carol doesn't want mollycoddling and breakfast in bed. She'll tell David where to go for that. Carol wants raw sex. She wants to spread her legs and get thrusted. Do that, and she's anyone's.
Oh, and there really was no need for David to get Nikki to come around in order to organise that "special break" in Paris. That's easily done on the internet, and a phonecall to Nikki would have got him the discount. He wanted to see her. End of.
If they're settling David down with Granny Carol and a cardigan, the entire ethos of the character will be killed off. Maybe DTC should consider bringing David's forgotten son, Joe, back to paper over Carol's wall in aluminium? By the way, I'm still under the impression that there may be a wife waiting someplace in Spain. David didn't spend 16 years away from Walford without some sort of dalliance that may have ended in a marriage.
Carol and David deserve each other, and she deserves to be dumped by him.
Where does Bianca get her rudeness? Look no further than Carol.
Rude Masood.
When DTC gave his original interview, it was all about taking the show back to its roots, with a tip to the 80s and 90s. There were yuppies in the original cast - Ross and Debs. Ross got run over by a bus, as I recall, and I can't remember what happened to Debs. Then there was James Wilmot-Brown, who owned the Dagmar, which is now the venue Sharon has bought. Oh, yes ... Wilmot-Brown was a rapist. He raped salt-of-the-earth Kathy Beale, such an icon of Walford that several fanbois who never knew her whine regularly to have her dug up and her zombie brought back to Walford.
The next time we saw yuppies was when DTC earned his stripes during Santer's tenure. Ah, yes ... there was Mad May, the doctor who blew up the Millers' home and tried to gut Dawn for her baby, and there was Stella, the solicitor and child abuser. Bryan Kirkwood continued the tradition of vilifying educated middle-classs professionals with Yusef, the wife-beating doctor.
So now I understand why Max Branning has become a home owner and why David Beale Wicks used blackmail to set himself up as a businessman. The gentrification of trailer trash. But that isn't all. We now learn, from the Messiah's latest gushing Gospel, that Sharon is going to be the doyenne of the yuppy watering hole, whilst his own iconic (only to him) Shirley becomes landlady of the Vic. Of course, the bad guys will drink at Sharon's venue, because that's the tradition established on the Show.
So much for Sharon being brought back "old style." She's going to be plopped behind an up-market bar to play second fiddle to a character who spent seven years on the periphery of several dynamics and belonging to none. A divisive character who's done nothing of any merit to deserve being touted as star of the show.
And so much for Danny Dyer, the name star being the face behind the bar. That was a con too. It's all about Shirley.
And people said that Newman lied.
Tonight was the ugly show.
The Ugly Carters or Poor Pitiful Shirl.
There they are in all their glory. Mick the Weak, Linda the Bigot, Zara Phillips slumming it, Tina the Court Jester ...
Years ago, when I was a child, there was a doll everyone wanted called Poor Pitiful Pearl, an ugly doll dressed in rags ...
Because in the Gospel according to Dominic Treadwell-Collins, we're supposed to root for Poor Pitiful Shirl. She's iconic, dontcha know? So he tells us.
We keep learning more and more about the Carters, past and present, and none of it is pretty.
Tonight, we saw Johnnie hanging around the pub again, doing a lunchtime shift. When does he go to classes? Where are his books? Has he taken the place of ridicule once occupied by Ava the Rava, who was a teacher who didn't teach? Johnnie is now the university student, who never leaves home.
Last night, we learned that Mick was weak. Tonight, we saw even more evidence of this - how he and his feckless siblings sat drinking the bar's booze all night, celebrating the fact that they'd filched their old man into handing over 10 grand of his money to them to do over the pub.
We learned how ignorant and shallow Linda is, if we didn't already know, from her remark upon seeing the bag of money ...
Sharon won't know what'it'er ...
... to the ridiculous notion of putting knickers on a dog to fend off the fact that she's on heat. Is this woman so stupid that she doesn't realise that doing that won't mask the scent. Doggie knickers are designed for animal incontinence, so taking her out for a leak, not only would attract male dog attention, she'd pee or poo in her knickers anyway.
That Mick is caught between his rock of a wife and his hard place of a sister. At the moment, Mick the Meek (didn't take long from the whispery-voiced hard man to become the latest pussyman like every other male on the Square),is leaning Team Shirley, based on the fact that she managed to be "brave " enough to face her father, hear a few well-deserved home truths and take the money and run. Nice one.
And we learned tonight, that not only Shirley, but also Tina, was a shit mum.
Basically, what we're being asked to believe is that Shirley, as little more than a child, exerted so much maternal care for her much younger siblings that she had nothing to give to her own children. Like her mother, she abandoned them. Neither of her sons matched whatever feelings she had for Mick, who is not her son. Stan was right to remind her of Dean, and tonight we saw that Shirley is totally incapable of understanding the unconditional love and devotion a child might feel for his or her mother.
She totally couldn't understand Johnnie's defence of his mother's attitude toward Shirley, and she tried to undermine this, by asking Johnnie how he could blanketly defend his mother when she was in total denial about his sexuality. Johnnie's answer was simple and eloquent - Linda was his mother, and he'd defend her, no matter what. It's what a son does.
Not Shirley's son.
Later, she asked Tina if she ever thought of Zsa Zsa - now pay attention, because there's a little bit of retconning here.
(Remember when Zsa Zsa left for Spain back in 2010 to go live with her heterosexual boyfriend and her boyfriend? Remember when Shirley went to visit her when Tina was ill in Spain?)
Well, the new, younger, slimmer Tina shrugs off Zsa Zsa. She's called her a few times, and the girl doesn't want to know her. Then she admits that Tina was off her head most of the time and just sat back and watched Zsa Zsa bring herself up. Anyway, she wished her daughter well. Hardly sounds like a mother.
That's because Tina still is a child. She hasn't grown up and doesn't want to grow up. In fact, she now looks at Mick and Linda as parental figures. When the eponymous name of Aunt Babe is mentioned, Tina is all for seeing her.
Go on, Shirl. Then we could all be togevva again, a family ...
And herewith the revelation ...
Come on, Shirl ... you was like the mum, and then we'ad Aunt Babe, and now we got Mick and Linda ...
As if Mick and Linda were now, in Tina's mind, duty bound to care for Mick's puerile sisters.
But Shirley is worried about the influence Linda still has on Mick after twenty years. Stan's words ring clear - at the end of the day, Mick has a wife and children, and his first devotion is to them, not Shirley.
So now, all of a sudden, even though Mick and Linda have somehow found, on their own, bags of money - over a million quid - to buy the pub, and Shirley's meagre "contribution" - not really a contribution, but guilt money ferreted from her elderly father - entitles her to have her name above the door of the pub. To be the licencee. To be the landlady.
So that's how you get ahead in the world of DTC's iconic heroine - you drink yourself rotten, leech off various men doing nothing, and then you blackmail your family into getting what you want.
If this sulky old slattern is to be the face of EastEnders, then it will be the face that will launce a million viewers into deserting the show. A miserably, bitter old trout who's done nothing and achieved less.
Pass me the puke bucket.
Carol's Pity Party.
Carol the Martyr. The little red hen. Buying Morgan's trainers, working at the cafe, whining about people taking care of her, and yet loving every minute of it.
I've got cancer. I've got cancer. I've got cancer.
Yes, love, so do a lot of other people, who will probably die, but the fact that you're ill doesn't give you the right to treat other people like shit under your feet. She doesn't like David's "interfering" in getting
sorry, Sonia to cover Carol's shift at the cafe. What a business Ian must run, when anyone and everyone can show up and work there. Does he even know that Carol has given Tina a job? Carol? Since when did she have responsibility for the cafe?
Speaking of
David: 'Ello, Sonia. Still playing the trumpet?
Sonia: Hello, David. Still playing the field?
First of all, with her track record and the way she treated Martin, she's in no position to make that sort of remark to David. Plus, the last time she saw this man, she was a child. Then, this is the house where David lives. It's the house owned by his mother and now owned by his step-sister. You don't walk, uninvited, into someone's home and insult them in front of a stranger. Finally, David, whatever he is, is her sister's father.
But I'm not surprised by her rudeness, considering the way Carol treated Nikki, abruptly telling her to leave. Nikki didn't impose, she was invited into the home by David. And she referred to Nikki as "that woman."
Who is "that woman?" She's the mother of Terry's children, and the wife who kicked him out. No, Carol doesn't want mollycoddling and breakfast in bed. She'll tell David where to go for that. Carol wants raw sex. She wants to spread her legs and get thrusted. Do that, and she's anyone's.
Oh, and there really was no need for David to get Nikki to come around in order to organise that "special break" in Paris. That's easily done on the internet, and a phonecall to Nikki would have got him the discount. He wanted to see her. End of.
If they're settling David down with Granny Carol and a cardigan, the entire ethos of the character will be killed off. Maybe DTC should consider bringing David's forgotten son, Joe, back to paper over Carol's wall in aluminium? By the way, I'm still under the impression that there may be a wife waiting someplace in Spain. David didn't spend 16 years away from Walford without some sort of dalliance that may have ended in a marriage.
Carol and David deserve each other, and she deserves to be dumped by him.
Where does Bianca get her rudeness? Look no further than Carol.
Rude Masood.
So Fatboy, the eternal nice guy, was the adult in the room and took one for Masood, who was about as low as he could be, implying that Fatboy was a thief, who abused the hospitality of the Masoods by stealing from TamBore's university fund.
And Masood is gambling and desperately doing overtime in an attempt to put the money back.
He's on this slippery slope because of Carol dumping him and his daughter's racism.
The countdown starts here for Zainab to return. It's a given.
In Her End Is His Beginning.
In case you didn't realise, the end of Poppy will herald the beginning of Charlie Cotton, another grandson Dot never knew she had.
Another example of rudeness - who the hell is Poppy to speak that way to anyone ringing for Dot, whether it be Nick or not? This is Dot's home, not hers.
Black Bradley Dogging It.
I wonder, now that Max is a homeowner with a mortgage, if Black Bradley pays any kind of rent. He's another peripheral with no real family connections at the Brannings, not even wanting to take the dog for a walk.
Who didn't see him getting involved with Zara Phillips-Slums-It? They flirt and the dogs get it on.
If anyone was offended at last night's puppy farm attempt, any dog lover and breeder would be even more offended at the reactions of both Dexter and Nancy when the dogs mated. You are NOT supposed to even attempt to separate them. They are "tied" (that's the term) together for anything from fifteen to thirty minutes, and to attempt a separation before the tie is finished will cause a big injury to both dogs.
The only one injured was Nancy, who had an epileptic fit. I guess Dexter has that affect on people.
I'm sick of Fatboy & Poppy & their do gooder routine. Fatboy had that coming - shouldn't have stick his oar in. I know he was trying to do the right thing but that money has nothing to do with him.
ReplyDeleteWho keeps several hundred quid stashed in a tin on the kitchen shelf ? All Masood had to do was claim that someone snuck in via the back door.
& then Poppy doing the same over at Dots. Get a life you pair of losers.
Dexter - what an A hole ! And what on earth was Nancy wearing ? Nike shorts and white ankle socks with tracky top ? WTF !
They just don't seem to get Sharon right at all. Wonder how long this bar lasts what with the Vic & R&R all within shouting distance ?