Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the community that is now known as BranningVille, a world where a family moves amongst ... Dark Shadows ...
When I was growing up, there used to be a soap on television every afternoon. A soap like no other before or since. Keep your Vampire Diaries and your Robert Pattison Twilight crap. First, there was Dark Shadows. It aired right when the kids entered the front door, home from school. For years, we had a sexy werewolf (Quentin), creepy kids, various women ghosts from other ages (all played by the same woman) and a Canadian vampire, Barnabas Collins, who really did used to sleep in his coffin during the day.
The soap concerned the Collins family, who lived in their hulky old home someplace in New England, interacting with no one outside the fold, except long-dead relatives who constantly appeared and moving between past and present with abandon.
A bit like EastEnders, except the continuity was better. Dark Shadow acknowledged their past. And the Collins family could be compared to the Brannings in some ways, except their vampires, werewolves, ghosts and assorted prostitutes were infinitely more likeable.
I wish TPTB and, in particular, Ms Newman, whom I suspect is nothing more than the monkey to SimonPantsAshdown's organ grinder (pun intended), to know that the Brannings aren't popular, and to see some of the show's most iconic characters become a part of their growing cancer - people like Dot and Sharon - is absolutely sickening. Pukeworthy. Dare I say it? Shitty.
Too much of anything cheapens the brand, and that's exactly what the Brannings are doing to EastEnders - making it a white trash horror movie.
The Wrath of Dot Returns - Compare the "Matriarchs."
Dot is back, and with a vengeance. Thank you, Jeff Povey, one of the long-serving and established EastEnders' writers. At least, tonight, you got Dot.
Tonight we got an inkling of what a long-established elderly female character is like - one who has grown over the years in our affection and esteem, as compared to one who was created, fully blowsed, and foisted on us with instructions from TPTB that here was our Walford matriarch, that we must love and esteem her and - of course - she was tied to the Brannings.
Cora is scum, basically. A freeloader. An ASBO granny grifter who thinks she can blag her way out of any adverse situation. The only honest remarks she made tonight were when she told Tanya that Dot was "weird" and when she made the snide parting shot to Dot about her experience living in the house was "biblical."
Cora the Bora had no respect, whatsoever, for Dot, who'd kicked her sorry ass out once before. Had she, she would have maintained the house to Dot's standards when she left, instead of drinking her way through an ocean of booze. Presumbaly, Ja-WAAH still lives there. (Does Dot know this?) As I recall, he was recommended to Cora the Bora as a lodger in order to help with paying the bills and handed over a large fistful of money, which Cora admitted would do very nicely. Obviously, it did very nicely to keep her in booze and fags.
The fact that she thought Dot would be so shallow and vain as to relent and let her stay after a day of pampering and flattering says a lot about Cora the Bora as a judge of character.
The eviction of this horrible old drunken hag resulted in one of the best scenes yet to occur during Lorraine Newman's tenure - Dot's reunion with Ian.
This is what was lacking in her encounter with Sharon!!!! This is what long-term viewers mean when lack of continuity is cited!!!
And yet ... and yet ... the scene still had a continuity error.
Dot and Ian have known each other since Ian was a child. Dot knew his father and his grandfather. This was referenced tonight, not actually having Dot declaim that, but having her remark upon Ian being back on the fruit'n veg stall and how that was holding with a Beale family tradition, but wait ... Dot would have known that, surely? I mean, late last year, in one of Ian's many inexplicable absences, Lucy remarked that he had gone to visit Dot. He was working on the stall then, so wouldn't he have apprised her of what he was doing then? Certainly, as many of the shippers would assert, that would have occurred in one of the many ubiquitous "off-screen" moments.
I'll forgive this continuity error, because the writer of tonight's episode sorta kinda knew what he was doing in executing this scene between two of the show's most iconic characters. In fact, Ian's dismissal of Cora the Bora was a subtle tip by Povey in recognition that Dot is the go-to woman whilst Cora is nothing less than insignificant. If Dot says ya gotta go, ya gotta go.
In other words:- Get out, you stinking, fag-breathed, drunken old sot. You know nothing,and this woman is what matters around this community, not your dysfunctional tribe of inbred heathens.
I will never buy Dot as a Branning, and I fear that she'll be on a hiding to nothing in her promise to Jim to look after them. They don't deserve her attention, as was proven tonight. The Brannnings simply don't get Dot - certainly Lauren didn't because she thought Dot was approving of her situation, especially after Dot admitted she was ashamed for not being there for Jim's family. Don't worry, Dot; they're not worth your attention, and nothing you could have done would deviated from the fact that they are nothing but inbred trailer trash. Always have been and always will be - and no matter how much they boot and suit and Booty themselves, they can't wash the white trash stain away.
The only incongruous scene with Dot tonight was the sickening scene at the end with Jack the Peg, Bimbo Sharon and DamienDen. I'm surprised Sharon thought to mention Saint Dennis or that he even crossed her mind in the presence of the Walford Walking Penis. Dot thought Dennis was a gentleman. He was also a murderer.
The other brilliant scene with Dot was the one she shared in the cafe with Jay. This is the Jay I prefer, who was raw in his honesty, revealing to Dot - indeed, the first person to whom he'd admitted this at all - what happened during the night Heather died, how Jay felt responsible for not being able to stop Ben, why Ben killed Heather in the first place, and how a day never went by when Jay didn't think about Heather.
Dot was exemplary as the matriarchal figure in her dealing with Jay, urging him to remember Heather, but for all her good qualities, which made people love her. Dot did something Cora the Bora never could - comforted and advised and reassured.
Contrast that with Cora the Bora's behaviour tonight. The self-pitying victim, trudging about the Square, expecting and demanding to be accommodated, free of charge. A few weeks ago, she was ripping Patrick a new arsehole for the part he played in revealing to Tanya that Ava the Rava was still alive, actually telling him, at one point, to get lost; yet there she is, on the B and B doorstep, audacious enough to light a fag on the premises and demand that Patrick sub her a room free of charge, ne'mind Kim's rules. She'd pay on payday. Yeah ... the cheque is in the post, Cora.
Then she slopes across the Square to prey on Tanya's guilt, only - like mother, like daughter - she didn't want to know. The most Tanya would do is pay for a room at the B and B, anything to get the old lag out of Tanya's selfish life. Cora will probably drink Kim's supply of booze to the hilt, and we all know how much Kim loves the bottle.
It would be interesting to see Cora the Bora devolve into the bag lady which she is, at heart. She already stinks of the booze.
Mommies Dearest
I'm no fan of Hank Williams Jr, but he wrote a song which was tailor-made for these three women:-
First Lauren hands Tanya her ample ass. Twice in an evening. Tanya's embarrassed because the outing of Lauren's and Ja-WAAH'S fucking became public knowledge and that spoiled her carefully manufactured image of an independent middle-class businesswoman. Fine and good, her brittle attitude toward Lauren now, blaming her for the fact that everyone in Walford, including the non-existent phantom customers who don't frequent Tanya's salon, now stare in horror at the open inbreeding that's occurring in the Branning family. Their nice little respectable image has been totally spoiled for all to see.
Tanya's solution to the problem is to throw Max's credit card at Lauren, and tell her to buy books for her college course she's starting the next week. Lip may be unlikeable, but she's not stupid, and she knows why Tanya's got her ample ass up - heretofore, Mommy Dearest and Daddy were ok with her fucking Ja-WAAH. Now that Grandma Dot's recoiled in horror, Lauren is officially persona non grata.
It's not even enough that Lauren's got MyAaa-Aaass on side, whose verdict on the cousin clusterfuck is, simply, that it's "not wrong". Well, dumbass, it's not illegal, but they could end up giving you a niece who looks like this ...
Or a nephew who looks like this ...
Lauren was bloody rude to Alice tonight, where before she either ignored her or barely tolerated her. In fact, she seemed curiously ashamed of her association with Ja-WAAHH tonight, rejecting his calls and preferring to answer the door to the Wrath of Dot instead of spending time cousin-fucking.
Joey's performance tonight was up to his usual unintelligible standard coupled with his signature dramatic effort ...
and
and
So you see, in one episode, we see the absolute best EastEnders has, and the absolute worst.
The combined unwanted efforts of Tanya and Alice, coupled with having Max's credit card in her pocket, convinces Lauren to take out 100 quid and head for the Vic, where she promptly gets drunk and Kirsty befriends her.
Well, as Kirsty points out, she is her step-mother. There's an oddly good scene where Lauren tells her some truths about the Branning family, how she tried to kill Max, and Kirsty remarks how she left home as soon as she could.
Enter, who else ... Max and Tanya, the King and Queen of the Square, who decide to front out the local yokels shamelessly. Once again, Tanya gets handed her ample ass. Who the hell does she think she is, telling Kirsty to stay away from her daughter. Er, Tanya, your daughter is an adult, she can see and do what she wants.
Lip had the line of the night:- Well, at least she's talking to me.
The implication behind that remark was obvious. More than anything ever before, that line and the ensuing reaction from Tanya, showed the world that Tanya is an abysmal mother. When she isn't talking to her daughters as if they were cretins crossed with infants, she's talking to them about herself - her wedding, her party, her cancer, her everything. Her stock phrase for the past few months has been "not now, Lauren/Abi". All of a sudden, when sucker-punched with this remark, Tanya wants to take Lauren home, wrap her in cotton wool, have a cup of tea and a natter ... about Tanya.
Lauren was blunt enough to ask Kirsty if she were going to take Max away from his family ... because if she were, Lauren wanted to go with him.
Run, Kirsty, run!!!!
Of course, the inevitable is that Kirsty helps Lauren, bonds with her and phones Max, who's sat at a dismal dinner table with Tanya wittering on about having the family all together at the dinner table, laughing and joking, all the while watching her pretended middle class facade crumble around her. Oh, how I love to see the downfall of Queen Bitch Hypocrite Tanya.
Because Max loves Kirsty. And Lauren likes her too.
The Little Cock Has Parent Issues - How Original!
Abi is gonna flunk her exams. That will put her right at home with the other under-achievers with whom she's consorting now. She wants to spend an evening with Jay, but invites her new cousin, the stereotypical urban black hipster youth, The Flash Prince of Walford ... along for the ride.
Cue Dexter's Theme song:-
The Little Cock thinks he can get one over on Phil Mitchell, and just utters ghetto-spattered inanities that are, for the most part, unintelligible, and emblematic of stereotypical tokenism, which borders on a type of racial typecast, until we hear he has ... wait for it ... a parent issue. Oh, he's got nothing against babies (babies get you benefits), but he sure has got a thing against parents - and that means Ava the Rava, who seems to have turned from the calm, voice-of-reason deputy headmistress into a screaming, ungrammatical banshee whenever she's around her son. I must admit, I'd turn into something worse if I had to suffer Dexter as a son ...
I mean, it's clear he's gonna hit on Lola romantically, but with another agenda in mind (and become bad news), but I wonder how long before the insipid writing crew give him a line like this ...
Jay is so much above this group of losers, and - I have to admit - so is Lola. Lorna Fitzgerald has been phoning Abi in since she returned, looking like a poor imitation of Pretty Baby; and the Little Cock is supposed to be twenty years old - more in the demographic of those other Princes of Enunciation, Tyler Moon and Ja-WAAH. So why is he hanging out with kids barely out of school, themselves?
Bad news, this kid. Another unlikeable.
The Epic Failure That Is the Masoods.
Zainab's leaving line has got to be officially the most boring leaving line on the show. Tonight was all about nothing, except watching her bully Masood, advise the Bollywood Bimbo Ayesha on the art of women dominating men, whilst Ayesha was taking all this in. Masood's silent movie-like reaction to Ayesha's little billet-doux written on the wedding invitation, was too much a 1930s movie to be cute or contrived. It was just awful. Everything was awful and stereotypical. Zainab has been reduced to the stereotype of the overbearing, nosy and hypocritical Asian mother she so aptly portrayed in her Goodness Gracious Me days.
And was that a sausage she was munching on at the end there? Bad Muslim!
Seriously, Nina Wadia deserves better, yet we have to suffer the endless burden that is Tanya going round and round in Branning circles.
Bimbo Sharon.
It's official. I hate Sharon. She's been ruined. And Denny is back. Yuck. Watching Jack play Babydaddy to him when he's got a two-year-old son in Portugal whom he hasn't seen since he was born. Couldn't be bothered about.
Sharon preening and moueing and seriously looking like a blown-up sex toy for Jack, which is what she is. I hate her now. If this is the way she's going in this programme, a porking bit to validate Jack Branning and the Branning tribe, then I hope she leaves at the end of her contract this year.
Jeff Povey may be one of the more established EastEnders' writers, having written for the show since 1993, but he's yet another one who either cannot write for Sharon or is being given orders to write her in a particular way - probably by the puerile storyliners who think they can make up established characters to feed their own personal whims.
In either case, Letitia Dean should be making her own views known. She was either pwnd into taking this job, or she knew what it would entail and wanted the inflated salary they offered her, at the licence fee-payers' expense.
The Wicked Stepmothers' Brigade.
Well, Lauren seems to like hers at the moment, but does BimboSharon realise that if she marries Jack the Peg, she'll be a stepmother to Phil Mitchell's nephew, Richard, who is the son of her own ex-sister-in-law, Sam Mitchell? She'll also be a stepmother to the mute Amy, who is also the daughter of a Mitchell mother.
This show is becoming too inbred.
And as for Max, well ... as he says, he's a man who lives in the shadows, a man of constant sorrow ... this song's for Max (sung by George Clooney):-
Update: Remark of the night goes to Masood, for noticing and voicing the fact that Zainab had deliberately left all the Brannings off their wedding invitation list.
Oh? No Brannings?
Maybe Jeff Povey was trying to articulate something subtly, which probably means he'll get the sack after this.
When I was growing up, there used to be a soap on television every afternoon. A soap like no other before or since. Keep your Vampire Diaries and your Robert Pattison Twilight crap. First, there was Dark Shadows. It aired right when the kids entered the front door, home from school. For years, we had a sexy werewolf (Quentin), creepy kids, various women ghosts from other ages (all played by the same woman) and a Canadian vampire, Barnabas Collins, who really did used to sleep in his coffin during the day.
The soap concerned the Collins family, who lived in their hulky old home someplace in New England, interacting with no one outside the fold, except long-dead relatives who constantly appeared and moving between past and present with abandon.
A bit like EastEnders, except the continuity was better. Dark Shadow acknowledged their past. And the Collins family could be compared to the Brannings in some ways, except their vampires, werewolves, ghosts and assorted prostitutes were infinitely more likeable.
I wish TPTB and, in particular, Ms Newman, whom I suspect is nothing more than the monkey to Simon
Too much of anything cheapens the brand, and that's exactly what the Brannings are doing to EastEnders - making it a white trash horror movie.
The Wrath of Dot Returns - Compare the "Matriarchs."
Dot is back, and with a vengeance. Thank you, Jeff Povey, one of the long-serving and established EastEnders' writers. At least, tonight, you got Dot.
Tonight we got an inkling of what a long-established elderly female character is like - one who has grown over the years in our affection and esteem, as compared to one who was created, fully blowsed, and foisted on us with instructions from TPTB that here was our Walford matriarch, that we must love and esteem her and - of course - she was tied to the Brannings.
Cora is scum, basically. A freeloader. An ASBO granny grifter who thinks she can blag her way out of any adverse situation. The only honest remarks she made tonight were when she told Tanya that Dot was "weird" and when she made the snide parting shot to Dot about her experience living in the house was "biblical."
Cora the Bora had no respect, whatsoever, for Dot, who'd kicked her sorry ass out once before. Had she, she would have maintained the house to Dot's standards when she left, instead of drinking her way through an ocean of booze. Presumbaly, Ja-WAAH still lives there. (Does Dot know this?) As I recall, he was recommended to Cora the Bora as a lodger in order to help with paying the bills and handed over a large fistful of money, which Cora admitted would do very nicely. Obviously, it did very nicely to keep her in booze and fags.
The fact that she thought Dot would be so shallow and vain as to relent and let her stay after a day of pampering and flattering says a lot about Cora the Bora as a judge of character.
The eviction of this horrible old drunken hag resulted in one of the best scenes yet to occur during Lorraine Newman's tenure - Dot's reunion with Ian.
This is what was lacking in her encounter with Sharon!!!! This is what long-term viewers mean when lack of continuity is cited!!!
And yet ... and yet ... the scene still had a continuity error.
Dot and Ian have known each other since Ian was a child. Dot knew his father and his grandfather. This was referenced tonight, not actually having Dot declaim that, but having her remark upon Ian being back on the fruit'n veg stall and how that was holding with a Beale family tradition, but wait ... Dot would have known that, surely? I mean, late last year, in one of Ian's many inexplicable absences, Lucy remarked that he had gone to visit Dot. He was working on the stall then, so wouldn't he have apprised her of what he was doing then? Certainly, as many of the shippers would assert, that would have occurred in one of the many ubiquitous "off-screen" moments.
I'll forgive this continuity error, because the writer of tonight's episode sorta kinda knew what he was doing in executing this scene between two of the show's most iconic characters. In fact, Ian's dismissal of Cora the Bora was a subtle tip by Povey in recognition that Dot is the go-to woman whilst Cora is nothing less than insignificant. If Dot says ya gotta go, ya gotta go.
In other words:- Get out, you stinking, fag-breathed, drunken old sot. You know nothing,and this woman is what matters around this community, not your dysfunctional tribe of inbred heathens.
I will never buy Dot as a Branning, and I fear that she'll be on a hiding to nothing in her promise to Jim to look after them. They don't deserve her attention, as was proven tonight. The Brannnings simply don't get Dot - certainly Lauren didn't because she thought Dot was approving of her situation, especially after Dot admitted she was ashamed for not being there for Jim's family. Don't worry, Dot; they're not worth your attention, and nothing you could have done would deviated from the fact that they are nothing but inbred trailer trash. Always have been and always will be - and no matter how much they boot and suit and Booty themselves, they can't wash the white trash stain away.
The only incongruous scene with Dot tonight was the sickening scene at the end with Jack the Peg, Bimbo Sharon and DamienDen. I'm surprised Sharon thought to mention Saint Dennis or that he even crossed her mind in the presence of the Walford Walking Penis. Dot thought Dennis was a gentleman. He was also a murderer.
The other brilliant scene with Dot was the one she shared in the cafe with Jay. This is the Jay I prefer, who was raw in his honesty, revealing to Dot - indeed, the first person to whom he'd admitted this at all - what happened during the night Heather died, how Jay felt responsible for not being able to stop Ben, why Ben killed Heather in the first place, and how a day never went by when Jay didn't think about Heather.
Dot was exemplary as the matriarchal figure in her dealing with Jay, urging him to remember Heather, but for all her good qualities, which made people love her. Dot did something Cora the Bora never could - comforted and advised and reassured.
Contrast that with Cora the Bora's behaviour tonight. The self-pitying victim, trudging about the Square, expecting and demanding to be accommodated, free of charge. A few weeks ago, she was ripping Patrick a new arsehole for the part he played in revealing to Tanya that Ava the Rava was still alive, actually telling him, at one point, to get lost; yet there she is, on the B and B doorstep, audacious enough to light a fag on the premises and demand that Patrick sub her a room free of charge, ne'mind Kim's rules. She'd pay on payday. Yeah ... the cheque is in the post, Cora.
Then she slopes across the Square to prey on Tanya's guilt, only - like mother, like daughter - she didn't want to know. The most Tanya would do is pay for a room at the B and B, anything to get the old lag out of Tanya's selfish life. Cora will probably drink Kim's supply of booze to the hilt, and we all know how much Kim loves the bottle.
It would be interesting to see Cora the Bora devolve into the bag lady which she is, at heart. She already stinks of the booze.
Mommies Dearest
I'm no fan of Hank Williams Jr, but he wrote a song which was tailor-made for these three women:-
First Lauren hands Tanya her ample ass. Twice in an evening. Tanya's embarrassed because the outing of Lauren's and Ja-WAAH'S fucking became public knowledge and that spoiled her carefully manufactured image of an independent middle-class businesswoman. Fine and good, her brittle attitude toward Lauren now, blaming her for the fact that everyone in Walford, including the non-existent phantom customers who don't frequent Tanya's salon, now stare in horror at the open inbreeding that's occurring in the Branning family. Their nice little respectable image has been totally spoiled for all to see.
Tanya's solution to the problem is to throw Max's credit card at Lauren, and tell her to buy books for her college course she's starting the next week. Lip may be unlikeable, but she's not stupid, and she knows why Tanya's got her ample ass up - heretofore, Mommy Dearest and Daddy were ok with her fucking Ja-WAAH. Now that Grandma Dot's recoiled in horror, Lauren is officially persona non grata.
It's not even enough that Lauren's got MyAaa-Aaass on side, whose verdict on the cousin clusterfuck is, simply, that it's "not wrong". Well, dumbass, it's not illegal, but they could end up giving you a niece who looks like this ...
Or a nephew who looks like this ...
Joey's performance tonight was up to his usual unintelligible standard coupled with his signature dramatic effort ...
and
So you see, in one episode, we see the absolute best EastEnders has, and the absolute worst.
The combined unwanted efforts of Tanya and Alice, coupled with having Max's credit card in her pocket, convinces Lauren to take out 100 quid and head for the Vic, where she promptly gets drunk and Kirsty befriends her.
Well, as Kirsty points out, she is her step-mother. There's an oddly good scene where Lauren tells her some truths about the Branning family, how she tried to kill Max, and Kirsty remarks how she left home as soon as she could.
Enter, who else ... Max and Tanya, the King and Queen of the Square, who decide to front out the local yokels shamelessly. Once again, Tanya gets handed her ample ass. Who the hell does she think she is, telling Kirsty to stay away from her daughter. Er, Tanya, your daughter is an adult, she can see and do what she wants.
Lip had the line of the night:- Well, at least she's talking to me.
The implication behind that remark was obvious. More than anything ever before, that line and the ensuing reaction from Tanya, showed the world that Tanya is an abysmal mother. When she isn't talking to her daughters as if they were cretins crossed with infants, she's talking to them about herself - her wedding, her party, her cancer, her everything. Her stock phrase for the past few months has been "not now, Lauren/Abi". All of a sudden, when sucker-punched with this remark, Tanya wants to take Lauren home, wrap her in cotton wool, have a cup of tea and a natter ... about Tanya.
Lauren was blunt enough to ask Kirsty if she were going to take Max away from his family ... because if she were, Lauren wanted to go with him.
Run, Kirsty, run!!!!
Of course, the inevitable is that Kirsty helps Lauren, bonds with her and phones Max, who's sat at a dismal dinner table with Tanya wittering on about having the family all together at the dinner table, laughing and joking, all the while watching her pretended middle class facade crumble around her. Oh, how I love to see the downfall of Queen Bitch Hypocrite Tanya.
Because Max loves Kirsty. And Lauren likes her too.
The Little Cock Has Parent Issues - How Original!
Abi is gonna flunk her exams. That will put her right at home with the other under-achievers with whom she's consorting now. She wants to spend an evening with Jay, but invites her new cousin, the stereotypical urban black hipster youth, The Flash Prince of Walford ... along for the ride.
Cue Dexter's Theme song:-
The Little Cock thinks he can get one over on Phil Mitchell, and just utters ghetto-spattered inanities that are, for the most part, unintelligible, and emblematic of stereotypical tokenism, which borders on a type of racial typecast, until we hear he has ... wait for it ... a parent issue. Oh, he's got nothing against babies (babies get you benefits), but he sure has got a thing against parents - and that means Ava the Rava, who seems to have turned from the calm, voice-of-reason deputy headmistress into a screaming, ungrammatical banshee whenever she's around her son. I must admit, I'd turn into something worse if I had to suffer Dexter as a son ...
I mean, it's clear he's gonna hit on Lola romantically, but with another agenda in mind (and become bad news), but I wonder how long before the insipid writing crew give him a line like this ...
Jay is so much above this group of losers, and - I have to admit - so is Lola. Lorna Fitzgerald has been phoning Abi in since she returned, looking like a poor imitation of Pretty Baby; and the Little Cock is supposed to be twenty years old - more in the demographic of those other Princes of Enunciation, Tyler Moon and Ja-WAAH. So why is he hanging out with kids barely out of school, themselves?
Bad news, this kid. Another unlikeable.
The Epic Failure That Is the Masoods.
Zainab's leaving line has got to be officially the most boring leaving line on the show. Tonight was all about nothing, except watching her bully Masood, advise the Bollywood Bimbo Ayesha on the art of women dominating men, whilst Ayesha was taking all this in. Masood's silent movie-like reaction to Ayesha's little billet-doux written on the wedding invitation, was too much a 1930s movie to be cute or contrived. It was just awful. Everything was awful and stereotypical. Zainab has been reduced to the stereotype of the overbearing, nosy and hypocritical Asian mother she so aptly portrayed in her Goodness Gracious Me days.
And was that a sausage she was munching on at the end there? Bad Muslim!
Seriously, Nina Wadia deserves better, yet we have to suffer the endless burden that is Tanya going round and round in Branning circles.
Bimbo Sharon.
It's official. I hate Sharon. She's been ruined. And Denny is back. Yuck. Watching Jack play Babydaddy to him when he's got a two-year-old son in Portugal whom he hasn't seen since he was born. Couldn't be bothered about.
Sharon preening and moueing and seriously looking like a blown-up sex toy for Jack, which is what she is. I hate her now. If this is the way she's going in this programme, a porking bit to validate Jack Branning and the Branning tribe, then I hope she leaves at the end of her contract this year.
Jeff Povey may be one of the more established EastEnders' writers, having written for the show since 1993, but he's yet another one who either cannot write for Sharon or is being given orders to write her in a particular way - probably by the puerile storyliners who think they can make up established characters to feed their own personal whims.
In either case, Letitia Dean should be making her own views known. She was either pwnd into taking this job, or she knew what it would entail and wanted the inflated salary they offered her, at the licence fee-payers' expense.
The Wicked Stepmothers' Brigade.
This show is becoming too inbred.
And as for Max, well ... as he says, he's a man who lives in the shadows, a man of constant sorrow ... this song's for Max (sung by George Clooney):-
Update: Remark of the night goes to Masood, for noticing and voicing the fact that Zainab had deliberately left all the Brannings off their wedding invitation list.
Oh? No Brannings?
Maybe Jeff Povey was trying to articulate something subtly, which probably means he'll get the sack after this.
come on now in a couple of months Sharon will end up with Phil where she belongs and we can pretend this thing with Jack never happened.
ReplyDeleteIt is a pity in a way that the Masood wedding won't happen now - after Mas's remark we might have enjoyed a Branning-free episode. Dream on, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteIt stuns me that with all the negativity about this desperately unlikeable Branning family clearly visible on various fora, TPTB haven't yet realised a cull is essential just to keep viewers engaged.
It's also disappointing to learn that Tanya is likely to be hanging around like a bad smell until Summer. The sooner she is gone, the better. Then at least Max might move on from the 'wandeing-willy' storylines - although saying that, he'd probably revert to conning money for non-existent insurance policies out of the vulnerable, as that seems to be his only alternative.