Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Jackshit, Katshit and the Governor of Texas - Review 04.09.2012

Don't let the title mislead you. This was definitely a better episode than the previous three. It had its bad moments, but nowhere near as bad as Thursday's, Friday's and yesterday's episodes.

Let's get the bad bits out of the way first.

Thank you, Eastenders, for achieving a hattrick and ruining three iconic female characters. It was bad enough your taking Kat, a character from the past decade, formerly loved, and systematically destroying her to the point that no one will own up publically to being a fan. She is now virtually universally reviled, and more people than not are praying for her swift departure, never to return. She has been turned into a heartless whore, a slut and the Queen Bitch of the Square.

No, you had to take an iconic female character from the Nineties, Bianca, and turn her into a chav who, if she had one brain cell, she'd be dangerous. A woman with serious anger issues, who cannot discern that it's more important to get food and clothing for her children than the latest flat-screen telly, and someone who'll borrow money from loansharks to achieve that. Bianca, under your tutelage now, has become vile. No one misses her, and no one wants her back.

Weren't those two enough? No, you had to go and ruin Sharon, the real Queen of Walford and someone who was a member of the original cast. Because that is exactly what you're doing every time you force this character to interact with the Brannings. Already, she's spent more time tussling with them and fluttering her eyelashes at Jack, an empty suit she'd never consider seriously, than she's spent with her real friends, Ian and Phil. TPTB are doing exactly what they did with the legendary Pam St Clement in the end: using Sharon's character to validate the Brannings as the first family of Walford, which they ain't. They are merely a bunch of scrubbed-up poor white trash losers, masquerading as middle class.

Thank you, EastEnders, for linking Sharon with Jackshit Branning, arguably one of the worst, most wooden-headed characters on the programme - the only male romantic lead to bring every female acting opposite him down to the level of cheap chipboard. Jack lost relevance when Ronnie left. He should have left the Square, with his third leg moping pitifully between the other two, to spend some time with his son in Portugal, or the daughter he crippled in France. He should not be paired with Sharon, only for the reasons that he's a Branning and he's a pretty man and she's the only pretty woman his age he hasn't had or to whom he's not related on the show.

Jack will ruin Sharon, but EastEnders will pig-headedly pursue this relationship and the lowest common denominator of tweenie viewer (and vald, the increasingly irrelevant old troll trying to be hip) will witter and twitter on and on about Shack. Give me strength.

The sad thing is that EastEnders will never gather up the balls to sack Scott Maslen (nice man, shame about the acting) because, like the ineffectual and increasingly unpopular Jessie Wallace, he has won awards, and the last thing TPTB will ever do is tell a gong-getter that they're not delivering the goods.

You only had to compare the difference in Letitia Dean's performance and delivery tonight with mooning Maslen and Steve McFadden. Sharon turns into the caricature Miss Piggy when she pouts and simpers and flutters eyelashes at the likes of Jack. Jack isn't Grant. Or Phil. He isn't even fey Saint Dennis. His acting is awkward, with his lame attempts at cheeky, chirpy flirting. 

And what happened to the Mitchell-Branning "war?" Or has that been forgotten?

Sharon sprang to life when she dealt with the punter - again, the character was in her familiar element - and also in the brief scene with Phil. Dean and McFadden have so much onscreen chemistry, it's blinding; and it would be an abject shame if TPTB didn't follow up on this with her return.

Once again, I'm uncomfortable still with Sharon as a mother, and I think the reason behind that is the writing for the scenes with her son, the way she's depicted and, sorry, but the Little Lord Fauntleroy playing her son. I gather that he's having trouble adjusting at school and making friends with the other kids, and I'm not surprised.

Not the best of episodes for Sharon, nonetheless her sniping at Tanya and Tanya's bitchiness, which is getting old and boring now.

Tanya makes a habit of looking down her nose at Sharon, a single parent, making insidious insinuations about her over-protectiveness of her child. In Sharon's favour, at least she acts like a child. The scene in the cafe where Tanya was trying to get Oscar to talk was laughable. The kid who plays Oscar makes no eye contact with Jo Joyner at all, instead looking out toward the cameras (and probably his mother). As I said, at least Amy interacts, mutely; Oscar doesn't even do that. Not surprised, as going to school is probably the first time in four years the kid's been outside the house. Usually, Oscar's "upstairs."

Tanya's the yummy mummy who undermines her husband's parenting techniques, the teenaged mistress who broke up a marriage, and the selfish woman who puts her own interests before her children's. The pithy excuse she made for having a drink after work was just another excuse to feed her alcohol addiction. It was perfectly mete that she shared a table with Kat drinking tonight - two sluts together. Tanya is a cleaned-up version of Kat.

As for Tanya's disdain for Sharon, making a "snide" remark about her being a single mother, Tanya is absolutely incapable of doing anything in her life without a man. When Max's affair with Stacey was discovered, Tanya shipped in Sean Slater, a psychologically vulnerable man with violent tendencies, then moved her brother-in-law, the priapic Jack in as the father figure. She moved in on Greg three months after she left Max. 

Sharon may have made some bad judgements in pursuing sex-for-comfort, but she's raised her child on her own, and she hasn't done a bad, if neurotic, job of it. At least Sharon didn't dump her kid on all and sundry whilst she romped the beds like Tanya did.

Katshit's scared shitless that her dirty little secret's about to be revealed. The irony of that situation is having people like Sharon bring home to her how Tommy misses his father, with Fauntleroy firmly at her side, so Katshit can have it brought home to her how Fauntleroy is fatherless, when Tommy isn't and Kat's treating Alfie like shit.

She's rich, that one. She's desperate to find the loveletter bandage, and also to validate this "love" everyone tells her Alfie holds for her, which she thinks extends only to a desire to  have sex with her all the time. She's pissed off that Alfie is busy overseeing the exterminators and trying to get their business up and running again - you know, to support them financially - and once he tells her that they can't fuck around because the house is contaminated, she's off looking for her fancy man ... when she's confronted with Alfie's declaration of love via the window message.

He deserves better. 

Even Tanya put down Kat's snide observation of Alfie being too kind to observe that she'd prefer a bit more of such kindness from Max. That dirty bitch deserves to lose Alfie. And Shirley didn't bring those bedbugs into the Vic, Kat did.

Speaking of Shirley, she copped big, managing to pick up no less than the Governor of Texas ...

Or someone similar to him.

Shirley is reliable, in that whenever she's met with a crisis, she resorts to the bottle. Shirley is angry with herself. She's angry because, deep down, she still loves Phil Mitchell; and because of that, she's unable to shop him to the police for covering up Heather's murder. Once again, she's let Heather down. All the raving she did about justice for Heather has only been partially served.

Phil is as desperate for her to return to his control as she is to know for certain that he loved her. She's still, desperately, asking that question; yet she knows the answer. She said as much to the punter - that Phil lied to her, that his relationship was all, ultimately, about control.

She sublimated herself to him in hopes that one day he would love her, even choosing to ignore his infidelity and his inability to promise fidelity, to live with him, pathetically hoping he would one day fall in love with her - all the while living in the shadow of Sharon, Phil's real love.

She knew she lived in Phil's house at his pleasure. She said as much to Heather and to Jay, but in the end, Phil needed to control her; he needed to keep her with him in order, initially, to keep her from finding out about his part in Heather's death, and later to keep her, now, from going to the police.

Yes, Shirley says she hates Phil, but she's projecting. She really hates herself for continuing to love Phil, after he covered for her best friend's murderer.

Blinder of the night goes to the Masoods and Ian. It was a real treat watching Zainab's turgid narrow-mindedness melt away when confronted with Ian suffering from the same sort of loss of self-esteem and her own breakdown at the hands an manipulation by Yusef. I'm glad the Masoods are there for Ian, and I'm glad they've got him to see the doctor at last.

As for Lollygag Skeletor, no more sleeveless tops. At least not until she gains some weight and muscle tone. And who the hell does she think she is, talking to Ian as if he were retarded? Ian's been ordering supplies for the chippie since she was in nappies. More and more she needs a smack, and I'm surprised more people aren't booking their places in line to do so. I can't wait for Ian to regain his faculties and kick her sorry, skinny arse into touch.

Decent episode. Could have been better.
 







 

1 comment:

  1. The writers are trying to make the audience 'feel' for Kat..Oh that neglectful Alfie not being a proper husband..giving her sex whenever she wants it..catering to her every whim..oh poor Kat she's starved of affection and the other 'man' gives it to her..it's understandable blah blah blah.

    That woman is a slaaaaagggg one that loaths herself but still a slaaaaggg nonetheless...I agree Derek is the Shagger and it fits in with Kat's sexual abuse background too...Derek like Harry the older man with authority and knows how to exploit and Manipulate her for personal gains.

    But this "I'm a dirty girl" routine is getting old...I now believe her to pull that excuse out whenever it suits her and Alfie falls hook line and sinker.

    I'm not saying she doesn't feel like one...The molestation left a lot of damage, but it's easier for her to lean on it when she needs to make excuses for her behavior...She should have went and talked to someone long ago...Even with Alfie if need be.

    I'm gearing up for 'Darkside' Alfie cause this time she's pushed him too far...I wouldn't be surprised if he lamps her one or gets a bit rough...She tramples all over every aspect of Alfie and it's time he says no more.

    But we all know what's gonna happen...She's kicked out..She hits rock bottom...Alfie moves on..She cries...She cries some more...Eventually Alfie realizes he still cares..They go through months and months of pining...Get back together and live...ya know what, just kill these characters now and be done with...The show has destroyed them especially Kat..I wasn't a fan but i know others were, but god, it's like trying to reanimate a dead decaying horse.

    And now we come to Sharon..It's good to see her again after years away and especially with dennis jr....But I'm not looking forward to the hatchet job they're gonna do on her and i can see it happening already.

    The sniping with Tanya before the great mates bit...The flirting with the 'inseminator' before they actually get together..The going too far with Denny until someone draws attention to what she's doing.

    My favorite thing about her return is the fantastic scenes she has with Ian..They always worked great together and it was very touching to see her helping her old friend, cause one thing i always loved about Sharon is her warm/maternal side that she displayed with everyone from lovers to friends.

    But why Jack 'plywood' Branning and a slaaaaggg...And it's so forced like "umm we need to pair Sharon up..I know Jack slaaaagg Branning..We can never have too many brannings...Why don't we introduce 5 more and their families too"

    The show is obsessed with that family and there's nothing positive about that..I couldn't give a shit about Max and his 'secret' family...I don't want another "Oh you've betrayed me..How could you do that...I'm leaving you for good" xmas storyline..Booooring.

    But i did notice one thing...Jack hurt his hand too in the brawl which you can see in RNR when he was trying to charm Sharon...I'm still saying Derek is the shagger but Jack's the red herring among many to focus on.

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