Thursday, September 13, 2012

Tyler Moon: Shit Sticking

Anthony Moon may be gone and probably best forgotten, but Tyler's still around, and people who have been waiting with baited breath for his departure, had best start breathing again, because it looks as if Tyler's there to stay for the duration, or at least for awhile.

Why? 

Well, because for some inexplicable reason, the actor Tony Discipline, won an award for his portrayal of Tyler Moon this week - Best Newcomer at the TV Quck Awards - and that means that, as a gong-getter, Discipline really won't be sacked. If he wants to leave of his own accord in order to pursue bigger and better things, that's different - but, really, Discipline knows his own  limitations, and he'll also know that he's damned lucky to get an easy-peasy job that pays him to stand around in the background, snog a few girls and occasionally screw up his face in indomitable smell-the-fart acting technique - which means he'll be there for-fucking-ever.

Face it, folks, this is the guy who, before EastEnders, worked on a fish market. Is he going back to that?

Nope, we've got a lifetime of Tyler Moon, not to mention the semi-illiterate banalities he and his equally functionally-illiterate squeeze, professional gurner Jacqueline Jossa, as they make a professional parade of all the red carpet formalities accorded to z-list celebrities. I guess, for Jossa, it's better than being a prison visitor, and someone has to pay back the half-a-million quid Daddy Jossa embezzled from Enfield Council. The judge pronouncing the four-year sentence on dear old Dad, called him out on his greed, but Jacqueline is a chip off the old block, the way she brags on her Facebook page (yes, EastEnders, another youngster has a forbidden Facebook page!) about how much money she earns.

These two are clear cases of life imitating art. The characters they play are vacuous, entitled, directionless and lazy youth with precious few likeable qualities. They are playing themselves, and that's a fucking pity for us, the licence fee payers.

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