Well, at least Ms Newman remembers when a unifying thread used to run through an Eastenders' episode. Tonight, it was babies - specifically, concerning Janine, Lola and Shirley. Yes, Shirley. There was also a brilliant scene from Alfie (Shane Richie steps up to the plate), and the rest was shit.
Baby Story 1: Nana Shirl
Please, Lorraine, stop the retconning crap. Carly and Shirley are not incommunicado. They did not part on bad terms - they didn't part on great terms, but there was a progression point in their relationship at Carly's departure. At least, Carly left calling Shirley "mum." Don't believe me. Take a gander:-
That was only 2008. Four years ago. And since then - Christmas 2011, it was, which was last Christmas, by the way - there was mention of a phonecall from Carly.
So, please, Eastenders, stop the retconning bullshit now.
Be that as it may, however, it's now established in NewmanLand that Carly doesn't want to see Shirley. Ever again. And even Ben's present of a teddy bear didn't do the trick, but it did do something. It gave sociopath Ben the perfect opportunity to move in and manipulate the situation to his advantage.
"You're mah muvvah, Shirl," he says, "And even if yer ain't go'Carly, yer got me an' Jay an' me dad." Oh and ... "Ah know yer miss Hev."
Oh, the irony! Shirley being lulled into faux security by the person who killed her best friend, being turned away from pursuing her daughter by some sick, little creep who killed her best mate, and who'd kill her too, if she looked at him the wrong way. Shirley marvels at how grown up Ben's become. Ben's been like that forever - his manipulative abilities are far beyond those of any other adult on the Square, bar Michael Moon, but then he's a psychopath, himself.
Ben's loving this. He's in control of the situation again.
Baby Story 2: Lola the Chav
This snide little bitch never learns. It's always memememememememememe. Eleven days away from giving birth and she still hasn't fathomed that this isn't all about her anymore. It's about the bay-bee.
Another ironic situation at play: Janine, of all people, turned the tables on Lila's little chav ass and told her some brutal home truths, right after Lola reckoned that Janine should "be at the hospital." Janine was right. Once Lola's dropped, her friends will abandon her like the plague and she's all on her tod. The look on Lola's face was classic. But at least she took on what Janine was saying.
However, we all know that Lola's going to drop the baby, and TPTB will all want ups to love the little bitch.
Baby Story 3: Janine
I wish Charlie Brooks weren't leaving. She and SJS proved tonight why Janine and Michael are such a watchable couple, the sort of couple a viewer really could root for and want to stay together. Both had such awful trust issues. I honestly believe Michael does love Janine and Scarlett, but with him it's all about control, and he literally said as much to her when they were in the office. He's always been in control of himself, his emotions and the manipulative situation, in general, that to give into what he really feels about his wife and daughter would mean a loss of that control.
Janine, on the other hand, beautifully explained to him the essence of her trust issues. Michael reminded her that he wasn't her father. Janine shot back that he should stop trying to act like Frank. Janine would remember, not once but twice, how Frank betrayed Pat's and Peggy's trust financially - with Pat, by spreading his business interests too thinly and then walking off, leaving her with a morass of debts to face alone. She would also remember how when Frank left Peggy, he had also been cooking the Vic's books and pocketing profits which should have gone into the business account. The result of that saw Peggy having to sell the Vic to Sharon and Steve Owen.
Michael with his hand in the safe, Michael buying a flash new car - both images would have, for her, all the trappings of a Frank Butcher in action. Of course, she's frightened.
But then, you never know with Michael either - and he admitted as much to Alfie that it was important for him to get his hands on the money he scammed off Jean.
The scene between Michael and Alfie was another great scene, and we should see more of this from Alfie Moon, because Shane Richie always steps up to the plate and delivers when he has to do so. Although, I must admit, I don't know why he's reminding Michael of the part Michael played in sleeping with Kat, asking him if he thought anything of Alfie when he did it. He should be asking that question, as well, to his slut of a wife. But he wouldn't do that ... Kat's the dirty girl, the victim, whom we're supposed to pity.
The Shit
Jack and the football team. Jack was like a big girl's blouse.
Cora, Patrick and Rose. Not funny. In fact, the whole wake sequence wasn't funny at all. Cora's a shark, and I'm sorry, but she's a particular skank of a bitch to use her daughter's illness and her husband's illness to curry favour from the widow of a man she didn't know and a to whom she lied, just to get tat for what is supposed to be a non-profit charity shop. It wouldn't surprise me if she were skimming off the money made in that shop as well, and I'm sure the Cancer Society wouldn't approve of her methods.
I dislike her intensely. Kirkwood's invested so much of this old lag into every aspect of the show that it's obvious he wants us to accept her as the "matriarch of cool" that he thinks the Square deserves, and Newman's docilely following suit. It sucks. Rose sucks as well. And they both bring Patrick down. Those scenes tonight were embarrassing and butt-clinchingly awful.
Eastenders continues to be mediocre and average.
Baby Story 1: Nana Shirl
Please, Lorraine, stop the retconning crap. Carly and Shirley are not incommunicado. They did not part on bad terms - they didn't part on great terms, but there was a progression point in their relationship at Carly's departure. At least, Carly left calling Shirley "mum." Don't believe me. Take a gander:-
That was only 2008. Four years ago. And since then - Christmas 2011, it was, which was last Christmas, by the way - there was mention of a phonecall from Carly.
So, please, Eastenders, stop the retconning bullshit now.
Be that as it may, however, it's now established in NewmanLand that Carly doesn't want to see Shirley. Ever again. And even Ben's present of a teddy bear didn't do the trick, but it did do something. It gave sociopath Ben the perfect opportunity to move in and manipulate the situation to his advantage.
"You're mah muvvah, Shirl," he says, "And even if yer ain't go'Carly, yer got me an' Jay an' me dad." Oh and ... "Ah know yer miss Hev."
Oh, the irony! Shirley being lulled into faux security by the person who killed her best friend, being turned away from pursuing her daughter by some sick, little creep who killed her best mate, and who'd kill her too, if she looked at him the wrong way. Shirley marvels at how grown up Ben's become. Ben's been like that forever - his manipulative abilities are far beyond those of any other adult on the Square, bar Michael Moon, but then he's a psychopath, himself.
Ben's loving this. He's in control of the situation again.
Baby Story 2: Lola the Chav
This snide little bitch never learns. It's always memememememememememe. Eleven days away from giving birth and she still hasn't fathomed that this isn't all about her anymore. It's about the bay-bee.
Another ironic situation at play: Janine, of all people, turned the tables on Lila's little chav ass and told her some brutal home truths, right after Lola reckoned that Janine should "be at the hospital." Janine was right. Once Lola's dropped, her friends will abandon her like the plague and she's all on her tod. The look on Lola's face was classic. But at least she took on what Janine was saying.
However, we all know that Lola's going to drop the baby, and TPTB will all want ups to love the little bitch.
Baby Story 3: Janine
I wish Charlie Brooks weren't leaving. She and SJS proved tonight why Janine and Michael are such a watchable couple, the sort of couple a viewer really could root for and want to stay together. Both had such awful trust issues. I honestly believe Michael does love Janine and Scarlett, but with him it's all about control, and he literally said as much to her when they were in the office. He's always been in control of himself, his emotions and the manipulative situation, in general, that to give into what he really feels about his wife and daughter would mean a loss of that control.
Janine, on the other hand, beautifully explained to him the essence of her trust issues. Michael reminded her that he wasn't her father. Janine shot back that he should stop trying to act like Frank. Janine would remember, not once but twice, how Frank betrayed Pat's and Peggy's trust financially - with Pat, by spreading his business interests too thinly and then walking off, leaving her with a morass of debts to face alone. She would also remember how when Frank left Peggy, he had also been cooking the Vic's books and pocketing profits which should have gone into the business account. The result of that saw Peggy having to sell the Vic to Sharon and Steve Owen.
Michael with his hand in the safe, Michael buying a flash new car - both images would have, for her, all the trappings of a Frank Butcher in action. Of course, she's frightened.
But then, you never know with Michael either - and he admitted as much to Alfie that it was important for him to get his hands on the money he scammed off Jean.
The scene between Michael and Alfie was another great scene, and we should see more of this from Alfie Moon, because Shane Richie always steps up to the plate and delivers when he has to do so. Although, I must admit, I don't know why he's reminding Michael of the part Michael played in sleeping with Kat, asking him if he thought anything of Alfie when he did it. He should be asking that question, as well, to his slut of a wife. But he wouldn't do that ... Kat's the dirty girl, the victim, whom we're supposed to pity.
The Shit
Jack and the football team. Jack was like a big girl's blouse.
Cora, Patrick and Rose. Not funny. In fact, the whole wake sequence wasn't funny at all. Cora's a shark, and I'm sorry, but she's a particular skank of a bitch to use her daughter's illness and her husband's illness to curry favour from the widow of a man she didn't know and a to whom she lied, just to get tat for what is supposed to be a non-profit charity shop. It wouldn't surprise me if she were skimming off the money made in that shop as well, and I'm sure the Cancer Society wouldn't approve of her methods.
I dislike her intensely. Kirkwood's invested so much of this old lag into every aspect of the show that it's obvious he wants us to accept her as the "matriarch of cool" that he thinks the Square deserves, and Newman's docilely following suit. It sucks. Rose sucks as well. And they both bring Patrick down. Those scenes tonight were embarrassing and butt-clinchingly awful.
Eastenders continues to be mediocre and average.
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