Whilst tonight's episode was a vast improvement on the shit we were dished last week, tonight was not Eastenders as we know it. You can always tell when Eastenders is going through a bad patch - a seriously bad patch. The cheerleaders' wagons go circular and the intolerance of people's divergent opinions emerges in spades.
Digital Spy is getting nastier, especially since the censorship has set in. That place has to unhealthily close relationship with TPTB at Eaastenders. The truth is that, at the moment, Eastenders is sucking shit at record level, approximating the shit level it approached during the Berridge-Hutchison-Harwood era.
Still, there were good bits about the piece tonight - well, one good piece. I didn't mind AJ, Masood's brother. I thought the casting - resemblance-wise - was very good. However, this is the first time we've seen AJ, and his introduction seemed a bit forced - the hijinks with Masood, the OTT hilarity, the puerile behaviour, which resulted in damage being done to big, scary Derek's car. I knew the minute it was mooted that Masood's heretofore previously unmentioned brother was arriving that he was going to be some sort of love for Denise. I could spot that a mile off.
As much as I love the Masoods, I'm constantly amazed at how easily they've seemed to put their trauma of last year, which only ended seven months ago, behind them and they're now happy as pigs in mud and serving as a comedy element of sorts - well, mostly a sitcom element. Masood is another man whose gonads have been busted by Bryan Kirkwood - diligently assuring Zainab that everything will go smoothly in her absence, when the errant brother shows up and Masood goes into feckless, gormless husband mode.
Tamwar is beginning to get on my nerves. They gave him a few cynical observation lines tonight, but it's clear he's gone from being a genuinely likeable geek to a miserable, little prick of a mummy's boy - an Ian Beale in the making. So I suppose Tamwar will be the next Beale-sque character to make inappropriate marriages and be left in the lurch. Syed got a mention, but Syed, as we all know, has become a glorified extra.
The other comedy element tonight was Kim. Honestly, the Kim-Sasha-Ray situation is getting as boring as the Joey-Alice-Derek dilemma. You knew one of two things would happen tonight with the paintball incident - either that Kim would fail miserably and get hit twice, or she'd be the one to get the prize and raise the flag. Screaming all the way, only to have her triumph dampened by the fact that she had to admit to boring Sasha that her forensics friend was all a lie. Still, the "Grissom" line was funny. That's rare.
The longer the Ben reveal is pulled out, the more it's losing its edge. Shock, horror ... Andrew is no longer a suspect, so now the Walford police can start looking elsewhere. Forgive me, but I thought Andrew had been cleared as a suspect ages ago - when the Walford biddies broke into the R and R and found his stag night hoodie. And I also thought big Phil had confidently remarked to Ben several weeks ago that the Old Bill hadn't a clue who killed Heather and consequently, they weren't going all out to find the punter.
Speaking of punters, Kat almost bricked it tonight. The bitch is feeling guilty and scared shitless of Alfie finding out. She knows she's on borrowed time when he does. Shenice, who usually does nothing, gave a prescient line tonight about princesses having eating disorders and having affairs. Tonight, however, was red herring night, and I imagine at least once a week, we'll be treated to an episode where it appears that one of the suspects might be the punter. Quite honestly, we know at the moment, not even the writers have decided who will be the man who'll contract an STI from Kat.
I'm not saying it couldn't be Ray. If it is, then he has no moral quotient, the way he was at such ease with Kim and in Kat's presence. I don't think it is he. Once again, I think TPTB are trying to wax clever by showing Kat make a phone call/receive a phone call/make or receive a text message with a subsequent shot of one of the "suspected shaggers" ending/receiving a call/message.
I'm still sticking with Derek.
And speaking of Derek, we know how he's being inteposed in every storyline and being made to interact with every character - including bopping AJ on the nose, but now Jean is being treated the same way. Jean's gone from Village Idiot to Entitled Victim to Sage and Encouraging Friend of the Friendless in the space of a fortnight. I don't give a rat's ass; she's still one of the most annoying characters in the show. Now she's "adopted" Shirley, and she's buzzing around her like a happy, little bee, and it makes me want to puke. Add to that equation the fact that Andrew the Gentle Giant suddenly has short order cooking skills and used to run a burger bar, and you see a dismal future for Shirley on her hands. They could have done so much by getting back at least one, if not both of Shirley's children and focused on her issues as a mother. Instead, post-Reveal, she'll be aligned with the lowest common denominator of social misfits in he community. She deserves better.
Rose sucked. Rose is the endgame for the likes of Lola, Whitney, Kat and Shirley, sitting in a rotten caff, leering at a much younger man and deeming him an "East End virgin."
The first scene with Derek and AJ was so deliberate and the dialogue so stereotypical, it was butt-clinchingly embarrassing; and what the hell were all those musical interludes?
Eastenders, you're on an irreversible slide.
Digital Spy is getting nastier, especially since the censorship has set in. That place has to unhealthily close relationship with TPTB at Eaastenders. The truth is that, at the moment, Eastenders is sucking shit at record level, approximating the shit level it approached during the Berridge-Hutchison-Harwood era.
Still, there were good bits about the piece tonight - well, one good piece. I didn't mind AJ, Masood's brother. I thought the casting - resemblance-wise - was very good. However, this is the first time we've seen AJ, and his introduction seemed a bit forced - the hijinks with Masood, the OTT hilarity, the puerile behaviour, which resulted in damage being done to big, scary Derek's car. I knew the minute it was mooted that Masood's heretofore previously unmentioned brother was arriving that he was going to be some sort of love for Denise. I could spot that a mile off.
As much as I love the Masoods, I'm constantly amazed at how easily they've seemed to put their trauma of last year, which only ended seven months ago, behind them and they're now happy as pigs in mud and serving as a comedy element of sorts - well, mostly a sitcom element. Masood is another man whose gonads have been busted by Bryan Kirkwood - diligently assuring Zainab that everything will go smoothly in her absence, when the errant brother shows up and Masood goes into feckless, gormless husband mode.
Tamwar is beginning to get on my nerves. They gave him a few cynical observation lines tonight, but it's clear he's gone from being a genuinely likeable geek to a miserable, little prick of a mummy's boy - an Ian Beale in the making. So I suppose Tamwar will be the next Beale-sque character to make inappropriate marriages and be left in the lurch. Syed got a mention, but Syed, as we all know, has become a glorified extra.
The other comedy element tonight was Kim. Honestly, the Kim-Sasha-Ray situation is getting as boring as the Joey-Alice-Derek dilemma. You knew one of two things would happen tonight with the paintball incident - either that Kim would fail miserably and get hit twice, or she'd be the one to get the prize and raise the flag. Screaming all the way, only to have her triumph dampened by the fact that she had to admit to boring Sasha that her forensics friend was all a lie. Still, the "Grissom" line was funny. That's rare.
The longer the Ben reveal is pulled out, the more it's losing its edge. Shock, horror ... Andrew is no longer a suspect, so now the Walford police can start looking elsewhere. Forgive me, but I thought Andrew had been cleared as a suspect ages ago - when the Walford biddies broke into the R and R and found his stag night hoodie. And I also thought big Phil had confidently remarked to Ben several weeks ago that the Old Bill hadn't a clue who killed Heather and consequently, they weren't going all out to find the punter.
Speaking of punters, Kat almost bricked it tonight. The bitch is feeling guilty and scared shitless of Alfie finding out. She knows she's on borrowed time when he does. Shenice, who usually does nothing, gave a prescient line tonight about princesses having eating disorders and having affairs. Tonight, however, was red herring night, and I imagine at least once a week, we'll be treated to an episode where it appears that one of the suspects might be the punter. Quite honestly, we know at the moment, not even the writers have decided who will be the man who'll contract an STI from Kat.
I'm not saying it couldn't be Ray. If it is, then he has no moral quotient, the way he was at such ease with Kim and in Kat's presence. I don't think it is he. Once again, I think TPTB are trying to wax clever by showing Kat make a phone call/receive a phone call/make or receive a text message with a subsequent shot of one of the "suspected shaggers" ending/receiving a call/message.
I'm still sticking with Derek.
And speaking of Derek, we know how he's being inteposed in every storyline and being made to interact with every character - including bopping AJ on the nose, but now Jean is being treated the same way. Jean's gone from Village Idiot to Entitled Victim to Sage and Encouraging Friend of the Friendless in the space of a fortnight. I don't give a rat's ass; she's still one of the most annoying characters in the show. Now she's "adopted" Shirley, and she's buzzing around her like a happy, little bee, and it makes me want to puke. Add to that equation the fact that Andrew the Gentle Giant suddenly has short order cooking skills and used to run a burger bar, and you see a dismal future for Shirley on her hands. They could have done so much by getting back at least one, if not both of Shirley's children and focused on her issues as a mother. Instead, post-Reveal, she'll be aligned with the lowest common denominator of social misfits in he community. She deserves better.
Rose sucked. Rose is the endgame for the likes of Lola, Whitney, Kat and Shirley, sitting in a rotten caff, leering at a much younger man and deeming him an "East End virgin."
The first scene with Derek and AJ was so deliberate and the dialogue so stereotypical, it was butt-clinchingly embarrassing; and what the hell were all those musical interludes?
Eastenders, you're on an irreversible slide.
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