One good thing about one's own blog is that one's able to propound a theory that, were it posited elsewhere - say on Digital Spy or within the Walford Web kingdom of King John Swallow and his juvenile hatchetman Shamelessness - it would earn one a ban, but here's my theory.
Bryan Kirkwood got everything about EastEnders wrong. Well, he would, wouldn't he? He was an ITV man, through and through, having just debunked from Hollyoaks. It was obvious, via his experience with Hollyoaks, that he didn't like older people, fat people or people who were anything less than beautiful. Thus, he began the Hollyoaksification of EastEnders - but that's another subject.
He brought Alfie and Kat back to front the Vic, when Peggy left. Actually, it was Diederick Santer who had the idea of bringing Shane Richie back as the Vic's frontman, and John Yorke agreed. It was Kirkwood who opted to add Jessie Wallace to the equation, and that's when there was a hiccup of sorts.
Wallace was a gong-getter for the show, from first time around, but she was high maintenance, and extremely unpopular with the people who were still hanging around from her first stint. In fact, rumour had it that Wallace and Richie were supposed to start filming in the last days of Barbara Windsor's tenure, but Windsor refused to film with Wallace around.
Long-term Kat fans (and I was one of them) knew from the getgo that Kat would never return, pregnant with Alfie's cousin's child, because - having watched them resolve her issues and having watched her character progression the last time (which ended in a happy ending all around), we knew she just would never be unfaithful to Alfie. Besides, Kat and Alfie were a positive couple, a couple viewers supported and rooted for, a couple viewers wanted to be solid and remain together.
Instead, what we got on return was a mean, vicious and bullying Kat, a woman who thought nothing of punching her husband for no good reason, a heavily pregnant harridan who used her pregnancy as a shield whilst she and Stacey, who suddenly regressed as well to her 2006 status, slapped their way around Walford. She egged Stacey into viciously beating Janine and also into breaking up Janine's marriage, telling her that she was entitled to Janine's husband, simply because he had fathered her child in a one night stand, about which Stacey remembered nothing. (Boy, sex with Ryan must have been that mind-blowing!)
She humiliated and belittled Alfie, especially during and after the babyswap storyline, questioning his virility, his bedroom performance and even his love for her. When he didn't compliment her on a dress, she fucked a stranger in an alleyway. The lowlight of that performance, was that she was too much of a narcissistic coward to say she'd done that deed in a blue funk because her busy husband didn't stop running his business to worship at her altar; instead, she whined about being a "dirty girl," about how everyone, how Michael smelled the slut in her by the way she dressed. (So, don't dress like a slut). It was "just the way she was," so Alfie had to live with that.
Once again, play the victim; shift the blame. Accept no responsibility. This is Kirkwood's idea of a strong female character.
Kat became hard viewing for most people, many of whom had been her fans. There was one word which became universal in the general description of Kat: bitch.
I have a theory about that. I think, because the abysmal babyswap storyline was shortened, instead of doing a general rewrite in the wake of the Moons getting Tommy back, they left their babyswap aftermath intact, and just tweaked the dialogue here and there or added an additional scene. Think about it. If you imagine the babyswap storyline continuing until Christmas 2011, then Kat's abysmal behaviour towards Alfie and even the arrival of Shenice and Kat's infidelity become understandable in a storyline dealing with extended grief.
Be that as it may, from their reappearance onwards, within less than two years, Bryan Kirkwood has managed to destroy an iconic female character, to the point where she can no longer be redeemed.
In fact, I think this storyline will result in her leaving the show. If it doesn't, it should; because there is no way back for Kat this time around. Split her up from Alfie, but don't leave her on the Square. Why? Because, seriously, apart from Derek, there really isn't any man who would countenace living with a woman like that. Max is in a committed relationship with Bouncy Tanya - one that will most likely crumble again once she finds out whatever it was in which he was involved in Manchester with Delboy. Jack likes classy women for long-term relationships - Selina and Ronnnie - or, at least women who scrub up well, like Tanya. His ONS's are reserved for bits of rough - Roxy, Chelsea, Rainie and Sam - and Kat would definitely be classed as the latter. Michael has more to gain from his relationship with Janine, financially, so he knows on which side his bread is buttered. Besides, all that moral high ground shit Kat dished him on his wedding day about having fallen in love with him (on a one night stand, mind you) was total retcon. (You see, Kirkwood retconned so damned much, he even retconned his retconning). Ray is too new a character to get involved in this situation; besides, were he exposed as the shagger, Kim would beat the shit out of him and ride him out of town on his much shortened pole (pun intended).
And Derek would only countenance Kat on a resident trollope basis.
Jessie Wallace is no fool. I think she gauged the reaction of the viewers - viewers who, until this reincarnation of Kat the Slut-Bitch - used to bow from the waist and kiss her royal ass. She felt the Kat-Hate and confronted Kirkwood about the direction in which her character was going, according to rumours abounding. These same rumours say she cited the fact that actresses like Lindsey Coulson, Patsy Palmer and Jo Joyner were garnering the choice storylines which put them in a fairly good light, compared to her. Considering the fact that the rumoured confrontation took place after the screening of Tanya's cancer reveal and after the filming of Pam St Clement's demise (which heavily featured Coulson and Palmer), I'd theorise that Wallace dwelt on that.
I don't for one moment believe that her three-month break (which was actually five months long, considering that her last on-screen siting before the announcement was in the 13 January episode of Pat's funeral, which would have been filmed at the beginning of December) was anything to do with recovering from a broken engagement from the previous summer. Wallace collects fiances the way most normal people collect stamps, and besides, Eastenders has only allowed one month special leave when the husbands of June Brown and Nadia Sawalha died. Why should they allow three months for a broken engagement - I mean, it's not as if it's her first engagement that was broken? More like her fifth.
I believe she was suspended after mouthing off, justifiably, to Kirkwood, and that the actual suspension of three months was only announced in mid-January, the day after she failed to win Best Actress at the NTAs and one week before the return of the real Queen of Walford, Letitia Dean, was announced. In the meantime, Kirkwood, who must have known his own professional demise as EP was under the cosh, planned an elaborate final FU to the show he'd stuffed and a final opportunity to shit on Wallace's character of Kat from a great height.
First, he ensures that her character, upon return, is as much like the "old Kat" as could be recreated. Actually, it wasn't. She was just brassier and more bullying. It was as if she were Den Watts on estrogen, striding about the Square, defending Jean the embezzler, belittling Alfie. Those viewers who gushed that the old Kat was back were deluding themselves. She treated Alfie like a possession. When she found that Roxy was in the Vic, this Kat was hoping that, if Alfie had slept once with Roxy, then he'd have ceded the moral high ground to nought as they would have both been unfaithful. Had he been living connubially with Roxy, then Kat would have gained the moral high ground over him. Instead, Roxy handed her her ass.
Although Kat treats her husband like shit, she's afraid of losing him. And she's worried now because Alfie didn't sleep with Roxy. Alfie doesn't do casual sex. Alfie establishes a friendship first and then moves onto the sexual aspect when he's ready to settle down with the woman into something permanent. Now she's worried. But that doesn't excuse her behaviour.
I think Kirkwood's plan was to set up a feisty Kat (as opposed to the miserable po-faced bitch from before), and then introduce the shagger storyline, which isn't at all about any affair with an emotional entanglement. It's just about a slut who's after raw sex with one of the pub's regular punters.
Well, we know what happens when someone connected with the Vic gets caught in flagrante delicto. Think Sharongate. Think Patgate. They are discovered, and their partner announces their infidelity to the assembled punterhood at the pub's busiest hour. They are named, shamed and hounded from Walford.
Kat is the offending party here. Alfie has the moral high ground. Lorraine Newman knows what must happen. Besides, after August, the character of Kat becomes expendable.
Sharon's coming home.
Bryan Kirkwood got everything about EastEnders wrong. Well, he would, wouldn't he? He was an ITV man, through and through, having just debunked from Hollyoaks. It was obvious, via his experience with Hollyoaks, that he didn't like older people, fat people or people who were anything less than beautiful. Thus, he began the Hollyoaksification of EastEnders - but that's another subject.
He brought Alfie and Kat back to front the Vic, when Peggy left. Actually, it was Diederick Santer who had the idea of bringing Shane Richie back as the Vic's frontman, and John Yorke agreed. It was Kirkwood who opted to add Jessie Wallace to the equation, and that's when there was a hiccup of sorts.
Wallace was a gong-getter for the show, from first time around, but she was high maintenance, and extremely unpopular with the people who were still hanging around from her first stint. In fact, rumour had it that Wallace and Richie were supposed to start filming in the last days of Barbara Windsor's tenure, but Windsor refused to film with Wallace around.
Long-term Kat fans (and I was one of them) knew from the getgo that Kat would never return, pregnant with Alfie's cousin's child, because - having watched them resolve her issues and having watched her character progression the last time (which ended in a happy ending all around), we knew she just would never be unfaithful to Alfie. Besides, Kat and Alfie were a positive couple, a couple viewers supported and rooted for, a couple viewers wanted to be solid and remain together.
Instead, what we got on return was a mean, vicious and bullying Kat, a woman who thought nothing of punching her husband for no good reason, a heavily pregnant harridan who used her pregnancy as a shield whilst she and Stacey, who suddenly regressed as well to her 2006 status, slapped their way around Walford. She egged Stacey into viciously beating Janine and also into breaking up Janine's marriage, telling her that she was entitled to Janine's husband, simply because he had fathered her child in a one night stand, about which Stacey remembered nothing. (Boy, sex with Ryan must have been that mind-blowing!)
She humiliated and belittled Alfie, especially during and after the babyswap storyline, questioning his virility, his bedroom performance and even his love for her. When he didn't compliment her on a dress, she fucked a stranger in an alleyway. The lowlight of that performance, was that she was too much of a narcissistic coward to say she'd done that deed in a blue funk because her busy husband didn't stop running his business to worship at her altar; instead, she whined about being a "dirty girl," about how everyone, how Michael smelled the slut in her by the way she dressed. (So, don't dress like a slut). It was "just the way she was," so Alfie had to live with that.
Once again, play the victim; shift the blame. Accept no responsibility. This is Kirkwood's idea of a strong female character.
Kat became hard viewing for most people, many of whom had been her fans. There was one word which became universal in the general description of Kat: bitch.
I have a theory about that. I think, because the abysmal babyswap storyline was shortened, instead of doing a general rewrite in the wake of the Moons getting Tommy back, they left their babyswap aftermath intact, and just tweaked the dialogue here and there or added an additional scene. Think about it. If you imagine the babyswap storyline continuing until Christmas 2011, then Kat's abysmal behaviour towards Alfie and even the arrival of Shenice and Kat's infidelity become understandable in a storyline dealing with extended grief.
Be that as it may, from their reappearance onwards, within less than two years, Bryan Kirkwood has managed to destroy an iconic female character, to the point where she can no longer be redeemed.
In fact, I think this storyline will result in her leaving the show. If it doesn't, it should; because there is no way back for Kat this time around. Split her up from Alfie, but don't leave her on the Square. Why? Because, seriously, apart from Derek, there really isn't any man who would countenace living with a woman like that. Max is in a committed relationship with Bouncy Tanya - one that will most likely crumble again once she finds out whatever it was in which he was involved in Manchester with Delboy. Jack likes classy women for long-term relationships - Selina and Ronnnie - or, at least women who scrub up well, like Tanya. His ONS's are reserved for bits of rough - Roxy, Chelsea, Rainie and Sam - and Kat would definitely be classed as the latter. Michael has more to gain from his relationship with Janine, financially, so he knows on which side his bread is buttered. Besides, all that moral high ground shit Kat dished him on his wedding day about having fallen in love with him (on a one night stand, mind you) was total retcon. (You see, Kirkwood retconned so damned much, he even retconned his retconning). Ray is too new a character to get involved in this situation; besides, were he exposed as the shagger, Kim would beat the shit out of him and ride him out of town on his much shortened pole (pun intended).
And Derek would only countenance Kat on a resident trollope basis.
Jessie Wallace is no fool. I think she gauged the reaction of the viewers - viewers who, until this reincarnation of Kat the Slut-Bitch - used to bow from the waist and kiss her royal ass. She felt the Kat-Hate and confronted Kirkwood about the direction in which her character was going, according to rumours abounding. These same rumours say she cited the fact that actresses like Lindsey Coulson, Patsy Palmer and Jo Joyner were garnering the choice storylines which put them in a fairly good light, compared to her. Considering the fact that the rumoured confrontation took place after the screening of Tanya's cancer reveal and after the filming of Pam St Clement's demise (which heavily featured Coulson and Palmer), I'd theorise that Wallace dwelt on that.
I don't for one moment believe that her three-month break (which was actually five months long, considering that her last on-screen siting before the announcement was in the 13 January episode of Pat's funeral, which would have been filmed at the beginning of December) was anything to do with recovering from a broken engagement from the previous summer. Wallace collects fiances the way most normal people collect stamps, and besides, Eastenders has only allowed one month special leave when the husbands of June Brown and Nadia Sawalha died. Why should they allow three months for a broken engagement - I mean, it's not as if it's her first engagement that was broken? More like her fifth.
I believe she was suspended after mouthing off, justifiably, to Kirkwood, and that the actual suspension of three months was only announced in mid-January, the day after she failed to win Best Actress at the NTAs and one week before the return of the real Queen of Walford, Letitia Dean, was announced. In the meantime, Kirkwood, who must have known his own professional demise as EP was under the cosh, planned an elaborate final FU to the show he'd stuffed and a final opportunity to shit on Wallace's character of Kat from a great height.
First, he ensures that her character, upon return, is as much like the "old Kat" as could be recreated. Actually, it wasn't. She was just brassier and more bullying. It was as if she were Den Watts on estrogen, striding about the Square, defending Jean the embezzler, belittling Alfie. Those viewers who gushed that the old Kat was back were deluding themselves. She treated Alfie like a possession. When she found that Roxy was in the Vic, this Kat was hoping that, if Alfie had slept once with Roxy, then he'd have ceded the moral high ground to nought as they would have both been unfaithful. Had he been living connubially with Roxy, then Kat would have gained the moral high ground over him. Instead, Roxy handed her her ass.
Although Kat treats her husband like shit, she's afraid of losing him. And she's worried now because Alfie didn't sleep with Roxy. Alfie doesn't do casual sex. Alfie establishes a friendship first and then moves onto the sexual aspect when he's ready to settle down with the woman into something permanent. Now she's worried. But that doesn't excuse her behaviour.
I think Kirkwood's plan was to set up a feisty Kat (as opposed to the miserable po-faced bitch from before), and then introduce the shagger storyline, which isn't at all about any affair with an emotional entanglement. It's just about a slut who's after raw sex with one of the pub's regular punters.
Well, we know what happens when someone connected with the Vic gets caught in flagrante delicto. Think Sharongate. Think Patgate. They are discovered, and their partner announces their infidelity to the assembled punterhood at the pub's busiest hour. They are named, shamed and hounded from Walford.
Kat is the offending party here. Alfie has the moral high ground. Lorraine Newman knows what must happen. Besides, after August, the character of Kat becomes expendable.
Sharon's coming home.
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