The Last Word on Chryed

And so the battle rages about Chryed's farewell. The battle lines are drawn on Digital Spy, with Louisiana ably acquitting herself in promoting what I call the common sense view about Chryed, and with all the Chryed shippers - chief amongst whom is the incredibly rude and smug Rhumbatugger - fighting for their heroes with their usual misguided passion.

To compound the complications, the usual troll Moaning Lisa hijacks the competent thinking of felixrex, and thus ruins the thread in its entirety.

I've nothing against the Chryedians, except their insistance to make something out of a character (Syed) who was basically nothing. But I do object to Moaning Lisa hijacking practically every thread and throwing it off course with her amazing and deliberate stupidity. For that, she should be summarily banned, but for some reason, the Digital Spy mods tolerate her insipidity. Either they feel sorry for her or she knows some dirt on some of them. Go figure.

Anyway, let's look at the measured assessments of Chryed - arguably, the most selfish, self-centred and self-obsessed couple in EastEnders' history and two deeply unpleasant people - to  Louisiana and felixrex.

First felixrex:-

Syed's recital of his wedding vows while John Partridge pulled his usual insipid 'emotional face'; plus their post-coital discussion on the restaurant floor whilst Christian sucked various areas of Syed's face tonight was so disgustingly schmaltzy it made me gag. 

It was obviously aimed at giving their more intense fangirls/boys one last rush of romance but Lord was it cringeworthy. If somebody was talking to me like that in real life I'd probably vomit on their face.

And now, for one of the most astute smack-downs of the Chryed myths I've ever read. Take it away, Louisiana:-

 I agree about the corny dialogue but that has always been a part of Syed's character especially when written by "AwesomeLawson". I remember the dialogue being really bad around the time Amira found out the truth with Syed doing his whole "I reject you" bit. 

How you felt about last night's episode, I guess, depends on whether the original 2009-2010 Christian & Syed story, whichwas compelling, outweighs the last two years and for me it doesn't. 
In the original story, although they hurt Amira which I didn't like, I believed they wanted to be together but I was always sceptical over whether they would work as a proper couple beyond the issue as not enough development had gone into them as individual characters and their relationship beyond Amira.

I've come to the realisation that they were not well suited together. I do think there's a grain of truth in the fact Santer only used Christian for Syed's story because A) He was already established, and B) he was the only gay character at the time and it saved having to create a new gay character who is more of a match for Syed in terms of age/looks.

I don't think they are each other's type. It worked as a coming out story, nothing more, due to that mismatch. It doesn't help that Syed's character over the last two years has become an inconsistent joke who never has his own POV. Effectively he was an apendage of Christian and nothing more, they had a co-dependency that was unhealthy, and at points it was like Christian mothered Syed.

As for saying "BK didn't get them" well that may be true but it doesn't un-ruin them.

Of course, both commentators received their fair share of abuse from the incredibly rude Chryedians, whose mantra seems to be that Syed is this amazingly complex character who is beyond the ken of anyone who doesn't worship at the altar of Chryed.

Not true. Syed is anything but complex. What he is, however, and was, was tremendously underdeveloped. In fact, Syed Masood was probably the longest-lasting totally underdeveloped character in the show's history.

He never progressed beyond what he was - a weak, cowardly, whining. manipulative, dishonest, pathetic excuse of a human being, hiding behind his mother's favouritism and never once accepting responsibility of any of the damage he's wreaked. He left, pretty much as he came - except this time, instead of bankrupting Masood again and again, he'll be bankrupting Christian. In between all that, he came out as gay and then settled back to being Christian's significant other, cooking, cleaning and generally being identified as one of only two gays in the Village.

First, let's look at the dialogue. It was corny and right from a bad romcom. It ranged from the same old same old (Syed desperately trying to wheedle his way back into Christian's affections, without ever acknowledging or apologising for his misdeeds) to the positively nauseaus (the post-coital Ghost moment). Even the scenes were cliched.

The actual truth, however, is that for the past two years, we've only hardly heard Syed speak, apart from saying, "I love you, Clarkie" or "I love you more."

I guess a lot of Chryed dislike - on the part of people who aren't Chryedians - came from how both of them so bluntly hurt Amira, who'd done nothing, and then took the moral high ground over her. The Chryedian Amira-hate, I find hard to take.

She was a sheltered girl who loved Syed, never once imagining him to be gay; and Syed did lead her on. And he intended to keep leading her on, even after he'd succumbed to Christian's seduction - actually, what Louisiana said is true: that Santer only used Christian for Syed's coming out storyline, which was, basically, what Chryed was all about. Christian had form in that, if anyone would care to remember Steven Beale. But Christian was also supposed to be (or pretended to be) Amira's friend, so her betrayal was doubly cruel.

Yet Amira was subjected to some of the vilest venom when she returned due to her decidedly unfriendly attitude toward Christian. Go figure that one. Christian had broken up her marriage.

Once the Chryeds got together, they were pretty much like any other couple on the Square, wich meant that, inevitably, there would have to be some sort of infidelity. We saw Christian swanning about the Square, intermingling with the yokels and having a laugh with Roxy. We saw Syed stuck in the flat - cooking, cleaning and bonding with no one, except his brother on his sneaky visits. I honestly thought that because Chryed was the only gay couple in the village, TPTB didn't have a clue how to proceed with them. The Masoods' disapproval could only last so long.

In terms of their relationship, it was co-dependent, and Christian did, indeed, as Louisiana observed, treat Syed more like a child than a lover at times. Theirs was never a relationship of equals, which fed Syed's dependency even more, and this is why they are not a well-suited couple.

Christian is one desperate dude. Remember his expostulations on turning forty? He wants to settle down with a babe and a baby, and the fact that Christian comes with a ready-made family suited him to a tee(shirt). For all his protestations at not being included in negotiations about Yasmin's future, she is not his daughter. Already, Amira's subtly relegated him to the position of Uncle Christian.

As for Syed, that "complicated" creature, he revelled in the fact that he was Mummy's favourite. He had Zainab twisted around his little finger. When things got bad, he came running to her and she'd clean up the mess. From her, he learned that nothing would ever be his fault, that the blame for any of his actions - as hers - would and could always be shifted to the shoulders of someone else - mostly Masood.

Now, he's tested Masood to the limit and he has Christian as chief mess-cleaner and someone to reinforce Syed's self-absorption. Christian will never be bored with Syed, as long as Syed stays within his sphere. Syed, however, will betray Christian, again and again - looking for something or someone more, striving to achieve the most, with the least effort, fucking up and bringing them to destitution's door again and again; but as long as Syed comes crawling back for Christian to kiss it better, Christian will make do with this inappropriate behaviour and feed it even more.

Syed isn't complicated; he's just incredibly immature. And Christian is receiving massive karma in recompense for having wilfully deceived and manipulated Amira.

In fact, out of this whole charade, only Amira emerges with any dignity.

And did I mention that this entire debacle was a vehicle to reunite the Square's newest yo-yo couple, Mas and Zainab?

That too.