Goodbye, Creepy Jean.
I was never a Jean fan. At most, I find her extremely annoying, especially the inveterate screeching that has become her trademark. Still, I find her less offensive than RoNostril Mitchell and the show's desperate re-write of the babyswap storyline, but more of that later.
One of the few things with which I agreed with Bryan Kirkwood was his initial axing of Jean as a character. Played by a competent actress and drama coach, Gillian Wright's finest hour came when she was forced to deal with Stacey's bi-polar. After Stacey left, Jean became redundant as a character, with her storylines limited to comic pursuits of inappropriate men, dotted with bi-polar episodes and silly scenes of her being given baths by Kat.
Far from being a sympathetic figure, during the period when she was being scammed by Michael Moon, she emerged as being downright mean and judgemental, especially towards Janine, who had done nothing at all in that situation. The way she worshipped at the altar of Saint Stacey, who could do no wrong, belies any criticism given Sharon for her defence of the pathetic Denny or any of the Mitchells covering up the misdeeds of their sprogs.
Still, for some reason, with the multitude of lowest common denominator of viewer - the ones who can't remember from one episode to the next of those for whom history is irrelevant, Jean was popular, and Kirkwood pandered to them (as Newman continued to do) and restored Jean to prominence.
Prominence, that's the key word. I really wouldn't say that Jean was that prominent a character that she deserved Julia's theme when she left Walford. A happy ending, yes; Julia's theme, no.
There were great swathes of times where we didn't see Jean for weeks on end, and most people had tired of her screeching Sausage surpr-i-i-i-s-e!
Jean went from incompetent cook, barely managing one mangled speciality, to an accomplished sous chef with no training apparently. She went from Village Idiot to the Wise Woman of Walford, armed with her daily horoscope and women's magazines chocked full of pop psychology. It was clear TPTB had her in mind as the Dot of a new generation, who spouted words of wisdom from the horoscope pages instead of the Bible.
The other thing to which Jean was susceptible was Kat's traditionally bad advice. Remember Kat was the one who encouraged Jean in her pursuit of what turned out to be a Benefits' investigator, and she was bullied into taking the rap for Big Mo's cheating.
Now, Kat's been telling her - rather selfishly - that Jean's place was in Walford, as a wizened old maid, being "protected" by Kat and available for babysitting Tommy 24/7, and keeping Kat company for days on end as she mourns the fact that her infidelity ended her marriage to Alfie, whilst she refused to acknowledge her own responsibility. They could give each other baths, maybe.
Now, as per usual, Kat's had an epiphany about Jean, realising that it probably isn't very nice to hold Jean to her own bitter standards. Kat does have a conscience, after all, as Lorraine Newman has ceaselessly reminded us.
And once again, we have a departure of one character hijacked by the storylines of others. As Ray's pithy departure was, in fact, all about Kim, as Tanya's departure was all about Lauren's rehabilitation, so Jean's departure really, really, really was a plot device for the reunion of Alfie and Kat.
We saw Kat enlist Alfie's help, after he'd been spooked by Billy's mention of RoNostril and after Michael's exchange with Roxy. One word about that exchange, which was one of the highlights of the episode:
Michael let rip on Roxy about how offended he feels by Ronnie's presence in Walford. It was a brief tour de force, entirely psychopathic but highly entertaining, where he revealed some home truths about Ronnie, especially her affect on Roxy's relationship with Alfie.
Michael: I mean she stole his son. My son. His son. I mean, you must admit, he's not really up in the old baby-making department. I'd offer my services if you want, for a small fee ...
Roxy: I would have to be desperate, wasted and ...
Michael: But that's still not a no, is it?
All Alfie needed was the distraction of Kat to allow him to disregard Roxy in one of her RoNostril moments. The entire, fruitless trip to find Ollie was one filled with cliches and obvious hints that Alfie and Kat are back on course for a reunion.
Kat: Why do I always realise fings too late?
Meanwhile, Jean's found Ollie, herself, and they declare their love for each other, but not before she's left Ian Beale with some words of wisdom, which identifies Jean as a true heiress of a mediaeval fool. In the court of a king, the fool could speak home truths, safe in the knowledge that he was entitled to make the king laugh. Thus, Jean did so to Ian Beale, and much of that scene I didn't like.
First of all, I found the idea of Lucy Beale, conscience-stricken at the thought of raising the Hartmans' rent, unbelieveable. Secondly, I found the ironing act equally unbelieveable and the entire scene contrived. It was set up so Jean could relay to Ian that they were just the same in having been to La-La Land and were rescued by their children.
Did Stacey rescue Jean? Yes. Did Lucy rescue Ian? No.
In fact, if Carey Andrews cared to remember, Lucy wouldn't allow Ian back into his house until he'd signed everything he owned over to this little greedy bitch. Also, it's highly unbelieveable that Lucy had devoured 3 sticky puddings that morning, although she does look as though she's put on a few extra pounds.
Yet once again, Jean's advice to Ian is skewed - Lucy wants a pep talk to convince her that it's OK in business to raise rents by 25 per cent, and at the end of the pep talk, she chooses working for Janine rather than Ian.
Oh, and that "minor fire damage" Jean spoke about was one major problem for Ian, and she's bloody lucky he didn't call the police on her skinny ass.
So Jean is gone to Brighton to live by the sea with Ollie, but not without a mention of Saint Stacey and "the rest" (assuming she means Sean, who may or may not still be married to Roxy), and not without the ubiquitous OTT scene of Jean standing up in the car seat of a convertible to shout GOODBYE WALFORD.
Goodbye, Creepy Jean. And don't come back.
Speaking of Bitches.
Abi is a fat, gobby, little bitch.
That was quite out of order what she contrived to do to Kirsty. Just the other day, she was blaming Max's prurience for all her problems. Now her problems started with Kirsty, the day she showed up, married to Max. Well, Abi's neglecting to remember one important detail - that she and her sister banned a divorced Max from Walford.
Max was a single man when he left, and he could do whatever he pleased - remain single or marry someone, which is what he did. If she wants to blame anyone for the ultimate break-up of Max and Tanya, she wants to accuse her father of putting his faith and his money in Derek to sort this situation out.
Abi is a snide, little bitch - the sort to put the screws into someone unfortunate and twist, smiling to see their pain.
They don't need another mother. Well, Kirsty never tried to be that, but she gave realistic support to Lauren when she was drinking, which was a lot more than Tanya did. And if Kirsty goes, what are they left with? A drunken grandmother, who doesn't give a toss about anything but getting drunk. They can hit Jack for all the outgoings, but little do they know that Jack is leaving.
I don't like her, but I was glad Lauren wasn't buying into Abi's bad behaviour, and I was glad Kirsty told Abi where to go. I'd like to see her fat arse waddling out of Walford for good. Bitch.
What do we do with the drunken Negro?
What do we do with the drunken Negro?
What do we do with the drunken Negro?
When she's Cora's daughter ...
Heigh ho, Ava's drinking
Heigh ho, Ava's drinking
Heigh ho, Ava's drunk
She surely isn't teaching.
I hate Ava, Dexter and Sam. Totally pointless characters, totally irrelevant and boring. They're difficult to invest any sentiment, they're unlikeable and Ava is totally unbelieveable as a character. Once again, with the school season started, she pulls a sickie for a "migraine," starts off at the cafe with a tea and then moves on to drink at the pub.
And drink. and drink. And drink some more. Just like her putrid birth mother. Just like her putrid birth sister. Of course, the excuse is that she's frightened that Sam's abandoned her, so that degenerates her into bad grammar, terrible enunciation and lashings of "innits", as well as coming onto Billy Mitchell.
Ava should have stayed what she was originally was meant to be - a temporary character for five episodes' duration.
I hope the Hartmans are fist to go under DTC's tenure.
The Functioning Psychopath and Her Sister.
Roxy must think she's pregnant, and RoNostril must think she's invincible.
Carl was right. She flinched, and I'll bet Carl could scare the living shit out of Ms PlasticFace I'm-a-Mitchell. Still, she's manipulated Jack, and now she's got Baby Sis cwying in her arms. Just the two she wanted to control.
Good episode, but flawed by the stench of RoNostril and Ava.
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