All I can say is Barbara Windsor deserved better, and every criticism she levelled at the show was justified.
For an episode heralded as the all-too-brief return of Peggy Mitchell, apart from her few scenes and the clincher at the end, that was pure utter tripe. It was a brief visit from Peggy interposed with public service announcements about diabetes and kidney failure, daddy issues, alcoholism and a boring girl getting drunk.
If Windsor needed any more proof of how much the show is stinking right now, it was this episode.
Let's deal with the good bit, first - and even that wasn't 100%.
The Prodigal Mother.
Yes, we know that was Peggy Billy was phoning Thursday evening at the beginning of football practice. That wasn't rocket science. And it certainly was good to see Barbara Windsor back, even if it were only to give another pep talk to Phil. Ironic that the first scene wherein we originally saw Peggy Mach II was immediately in the wake of Sharongate, when Grant had put Phil in hospital in their epic fight.
The nurse-on-acid, Ellen Skinner, was interesting, especially since Peggy took the time and trouble to get her telephone number for Phil. Does this mean that she becomes his new squeeze, and with a surname like Skinner, how long will it be before she reveals that her dear, departed Auntie Ethel came from Walford?
Something else interesting was just earlier last week, we saw Phil, clothed and sitting in a chair by his bed, having a joke with the nursing staff, and this week, he's giving up the ghost? Is this all that we'll see of Phil's so-called vulnerability? I also wonder how deluded the Mitchells are as to their prowess or even the Brannings to theirs? It seems that, as time has marched on, the Square has stopped thinking of any or any one family as holding all the power and influence.
The Beales, who had the fruit'n veg stall are still around, but how long is a middle class boy like Peter expected to front the stall, and his father caters to an up-market clientele. The Alpha males who fronted the Vic - Den Watts and Frank Butcher - are long dead. Their heirs are women, both of whom have trouble with the personal issues in their lives at the moment, apart from not being the favoured heroines of the current powers that be. The landlord of the Vic has been emasculated in a strictly anti-male environment that EastEnders has become. His family and his wife's family are no more.
So maybe they heyday of the great EastEnders' families has gone.
Phil shed his crack cocaine addiction in one week after Peggy initially left, and all it took was a brief appearance by his bedside with about four reminders that he was still "her boy" to get him back on his feet. She briefly alluded to her own ability to rise from the ashes of defeat - Archie's death and the Vic fire - something, indeed, Sharon was able to do under the tenures of EP's who cared, and subtly reminded Phil he was a Mitchell.
One thing in her homily sat uneasy with me and that was the reference to Ben.
Poor Ben. He did what he did, and you did what you could to protect him.
Er, pardon ... "poor" Ben whacked the brains out of an innocent woman who befriended him. He committed murder. And when Phil "did what he did to protect him", he broke the law; and if Phil gets romantically involved with Shirley again, how can Ben return without TPTB trivialising Heather's death, the same way they've single-handedly trivialised the babyswap?
The show cries out for Peggy's return, and the post-credit scene where she paid tribute to Pat was evocative and moving - indeed, the best scene of the show.
Daddy Burgers.
Fat Abi and Dex-TAAAAAA on Daddy issues.
Really, Lorraine? Kidneygate again?
This time, it's along the lines of a public service announcement. Yes, we know diabetes works on the internal organs. Yes, we know for a kidney transplant, there has to be a blood and tissue match; and yes, we know that transplants ideally come from people of the same ethnic background.
Sam the Sham was back talking black again, to emphasise that not enough of "da bruddas" have come forward as potential donors for him to have any transplant purpose. As for Ava the Rava, the Magic Negro was prancing about as if she were part and parcel of a public service announcement, showing off the pinpricks on her arm and never imagining that she might not be a perfect tissue match because she's supposed to be bi-racial.
Oh, dear Lord, that whole scene reminded me of the public service announcement served up by Max Farnham and the doctor outside Ron Dixon's hospital room the last time Ron had a heart attack. Brookside was way on its way out then, but they'd already started the public service issue broadcasting to add to the tits and arse morass.
Of course, this means Dex-TAAAA will offer up a kidney (hopefully not with fava beans and a nice chianti) and he and Sam will bond as father and son.
Spare me.
Who cares? Dex-TAAAA is twenty years old, practically twenty-one, so Ava the Rava can't stop him donating a kidney if he wants to do so. But seriously, who gives a rat's arse about the Hartmans and their satellites?
As for Abi and her quest for a burger - something she doesn't need, considering the size of her ample arse, those were cheesy scenes with her and Dex-TAAAAA about fathers and putting themselves on the line for old men. The Arsenal shit must have cost DexTAAAAA some dosh as well.
And in the midst of all this, what was that remark about Max's legal fees? I thought Jack was taking care of that?
Alcoholic Perversion.
More public service crap - dumb Joey's unintelligible remark about alcoholism.
You ain't an alcoholic no more, Larrrrrrgggghhhh.
Um, sorry, Chewbacca, but she is. Like forever. She's a recovering alcoholic, and she'll probably pull a few more benders in her lifetime.
What tiresoome scenes - nonetheless, the creepy scene at creepy Jake's bedsit.
No, he is not Sadie's husband, and there's also no way Jamie Lomas is twenty years older than ...
THE. WORST. ACTRESS. EVER. TO. APPEAR. ON. EASTENDERS.
That truly was creepy, because she looked like a schoolgirl, and he looked like a perv.
And, please, why does EastEnders always make people go after cleaning jobs? What's wrong with Lauren working in a bookshop or a dress shop or even an electrical outlet? Do these writers have no imagination or are they as talentless as the models they hire to act?
Tales of the Unexpected.
I don't get this with Alice and Tamwar. A couple of weeks ago, she was positively desperate for them to be "an item," yet now she's laughing behind her hands at him with Kat and being weirded out by Michael in turning her against him.
So she follows Whitney's fashion advice (and what, pray tell, is Whitney doing on a market stall when she's supposed to be a nursery nurse?) and dresses like a slut who has to down several glasses of whiskey in order to sustain an evening with Tamwar?
Talk about inconsistency! I know this is all part of the weirding out of Alice before she kills Michael Moon, but this really is tedious.
PlasticFace DeLuxe.
What a surprise to find that RoNostril really really can't manage Carl. Seriously, Womack's cosmetic surgery just makes her look like a cross between Michael Jackson and an alien.
And what a downer to turn Carl into Derek Lite.
Barbara Windsor is right. Pat should never have been killed off.
For an episode heralded as the all-too-brief return of Peggy Mitchell, apart from her few scenes and the clincher at the end, that was pure utter tripe. It was a brief visit from Peggy interposed with public service announcements about diabetes and kidney failure, daddy issues, alcoholism and a boring girl getting drunk.
If Windsor needed any more proof of how much the show is stinking right now, it was this episode.
Let's deal with the good bit, first - and even that wasn't 100%.
The Prodigal Mother.
Yes, we know that was Peggy Billy was phoning Thursday evening at the beginning of football practice. That wasn't rocket science. And it certainly was good to see Barbara Windsor back, even if it were only to give another pep talk to Phil. Ironic that the first scene wherein we originally saw Peggy Mach II was immediately in the wake of Sharongate, when Grant had put Phil in hospital in their epic fight.
The nurse-on-acid, Ellen Skinner, was interesting, especially since Peggy took the time and trouble to get her telephone number for Phil. Does this mean that she becomes his new squeeze, and with a surname like Skinner, how long will it be before she reveals that her dear, departed Auntie Ethel came from Walford?
Something else interesting was just earlier last week, we saw Phil, clothed and sitting in a chair by his bed, having a joke with the nursing staff, and this week, he's giving up the ghost? Is this all that we'll see of Phil's so-called vulnerability? I also wonder how deluded the Mitchells are as to their prowess or even the Brannings to theirs? It seems that, as time has marched on, the Square has stopped thinking of any or any one family as holding all the power and influence.
The Beales, who had the fruit'n veg stall are still around, but how long is a middle class boy like Peter expected to front the stall, and his father caters to an up-market clientele. The Alpha males who fronted the Vic - Den Watts and Frank Butcher - are long dead. Their heirs are women, both of whom have trouble with the personal issues in their lives at the moment, apart from not being the favoured heroines of the current powers that be. The landlord of the Vic has been emasculated in a strictly anti-male environment that EastEnders has become. His family and his wife's family are no more.
So maybe they heyday of the great EastEnders' families has gone.
Phil shed his crack cocaine addiction in one week after Peggy initially left, and all it took was a brief appearance by his bedside with about four reminders that he was still "her boy" to get him back on his feet. She briefly alluded to her own ability to rise from the ashes of defeat - Archie's death and the Vic fire - something, indeed, Sharon was able to do under the tenures of EP's who cared, and subtly reminded Phil he was a Mitchell.
One thing in her homily sat uneasy with me and that was the reference to Ben.
Poor Ben. He did what he did, and you did what you could to protect him.
Er, pardon ... "poor" Ben whacked the brains out of an innocent woman who befriended him. He committed murder. And when Phil "did what he did to protect him", he broke the law; and if Phil gets romantically involved with Shirley again, how can Ben return without TPTB trivialising Heather's death, the same way they've single-handedly trivialised the babyswap?
The show cries out for Peggy's return, and the post-credit scene where she paid tribute to Pat was evocative and moving - indeed, the best scene of the show.
Daddy Burgers.
Fat Abi and Dex-TAAAAAA on Daddy issues.
Really, Lorraine? Kidneygate again?
This time, it's along the lines of a public service announcement. Yes, we know diabetes works on the internal organs. Yes, we know for a kidney transplant, there has to be a blood and tissue match; and yes, we know that transplants ideally come from people of the same ethnic background.
Sam the Sham was back talking black again, to emphasise that not enough of "da bruddas" have come forward as potential donors for him to have any transplant purpose. As for Ava the Rava, the Magic Negro was prancing about as if she were part and parcel of a public service announcement, showing off the pinpricks on her arm and never imagining that she might not be a perfect tissue match because she's supposed to be bi-racial.
Oh, dear Lord, that whole scene reminded me of the public service announcement served up by Max Farnham and the doctor outside Ron Dixon's hospital room the last time Ron had a heart attack. Brookside was way on its way out then, but they'd already started the public service issue broadcasting to add to the tits and arse morass.
Of course, this means Dex-TAAAA will offer up a kidney (hopefully not with fava beans and a nice chianti) and he and Sam will bond as father and son.
Spare me.
Who cares? Dex-TAAAA is twenty years old, practically twenty-one, so Ava the Rava can't stop him donating a kidney if he wants to do so. But seriously, who gives a rat's arse about the Hartmans and their satellites?
As for Abi and her quest for a burger - something she doesn't need, considering the size of her ample arse, those were cheesy scenes with her and Dex-TAAAAA about fathers and putting themselves on the line for old men. The Arsenal shit must have cost DexTAAAAA some dosh as well.
And in the midst of all this, what was that remark about Max's legal fees? I thought Jack was taking care of that?
Alcoholic Perversion.
More public service crap - dumb Joey's unintelligible remark about alcoholism.
You ain't an alcoholic no more, Larrrrrrgggghhhh.
Um, sorry, Chewbacca, but she is. Like forever. She's a recovering alcoholic, and she'll probably pull a few more benders in her lifetime.
What tiresoome scenes - nonetheless, the creepy scene at creepy Jake's bedsit.
No, he is not Sadie's husband, and there's also no way Jamie Lomas is twenty years older than ...
THE. WORST. ACTRESS. EVER. TO. APPEAR. ON. EASTENDERS.
And, please, why does EastEnders always make people go after cleaning jobs? What's wrong with Lauren working in a bookshop or a dress shop or even an electrical outlet? Do these writers have no imagination or are they as talentless as the models they hire to act?
Tales of the Unexpected.
I don't get this with Alice and Tamwar. A couple of weeks ago, she was positively desperate for them to be "an item," yet now she's laughing behind her hands at him with Kat and being weirded out by Michael in turning her against him.
So she follows Whitney's fashion advice (and what, pray tell, is Whitney doing on a market stall when she's supposed to be a nursery nurse?) and dresses like a slut who has to down several glasses of whiskey in order to sustain an evening with Tamwar?
Talk about inconsistency! I know this is all part of the weirding out of Alice before she kills Michael Moon, but this really is tedious.
PlasticFace DeLuxe.
What a surprise to find that RoNostril really really can't manage Carl. Seriously, Womack's cosmetic surgery just makes her look like a cross between Michael Jackson and an alien.
And what a downer to turn Carl into Derek Lite.
Barbara Windsor is right. Pat should never have been killed off.
I didn't know about Pat (that Pam had just asked for a break) but it makes sense that there was no build up - she was just killed off.
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