Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Every Picture (Frame) Tells a Story, Baby: Review 14.08.2012

This was a surprisingly good follow-on episode. In fact, it was miles better than last night's two offerings, and that's saying a lot, because they were good.

I had a good night's sleep after watching those episodes, and then watched them again this evening. Know what? As happy as I am to have Sharon back, I'm underwhelmed by her return. There's only so much sensationalism a show can take, and sensationalism doesn't go well with Sharon. Sure, she's had her hard knocks, many occasioned by her own judgement; but she's been enough of a pragmatist to rise above all that to be a stand-alone of her own accord.

Based on the fuck-ups that became Kat and Bianca, I fear for her character at the hands of this production lot. The non-wedding was a lot of shouting, car chases and the ubiquitous Mitchell punch, punctuated by a desperate proposal of marriage from Phil to Shirley - made, of course, via voicemail. Why? 

Listen to this song. The answer's in the lyrics for Phil:-


Yep, he knows what happens whenever Sharon's within a five-mile radius of him.

There have been scores of hints thrown out about Sharon being "scum" and not being a good mother for Dennis. Of course, she has a secret. Who doesn't come (back) to the Square without one? We know from an interview that Letitia Dean said something "bad" happened in the States. I'm betting that she was deported for probably running a higher market end call-girl set-up. That doesn't mean Sharon was a prostitute. It does mean that she was a madame.

Again, as much as I'm glad to see her back, I'm wary because of the writing. And let me say another thing: I was never big on Shannis. Because I remember Sharon and Grant, and she had far more chemistry and sexual tension with Grant than she ever had with Dennis Rickman. Don't get me wrong. I liked Dennis. I just never bought into this "love of her life" meme, and her constant references to "mah dahlin'" got on my nerves first time around.

Besides, I didn't think they looked right as a couple. That's difficult to explain why, but several months ago, one of the more astute Walford Web commentators, fanny arbuckle, explained it, referencing the first time Dennie and Sharon had sex and that foreplay scene where they managed to demolish the entire flat before ending up in bed. fanny arbuckle stated, and I agreed, that the foreplay looked as though Sharon were wrestling with Dennis - not fighting against him, per se, but actually wrestling as in "wrassling".

Dennis was an iconic character, who didn't stick around long; but he was really a glorified plot device to cover the fact that Steve McFadden was taking a year's sabbatical in the wake of Leslie Grantham rising from the dead. In the end, even Nigel Harman dissed Dennis and the sub-standard writing that surrounded his character. Truth.

As for Dennis's son, or Denny, as he's known ... you have just witnessed the natural successor to Tiffany Butcher. The male equivalent. Quite possibly, the London version of Mancunian Simon Barlow of Corrie infamy. Drama school kid and Justin Bieber wannabe, as evidenced by the video below:-


Now we'll know who'll feature in the next Eastenders' Children In Need video.

Just another Tiffany comparison and redux: shortly after Bianca and her brood came on the scene, Tiffany turned six. I remember her dialogue at that time: "I've never been six before." Awwwwwww ... diddums. DamienDen to Phil: "I'm six." Long silence from Phil. DamienDen to Phil: "Before that, I was five." 

Contrived cuteness alert!

Now for the good stuff.

Hands up, whoever remembers the fantastic friendship during the 90s of Pat and Kathy, the two ex-wives of Pete Beale who bonded after Pete's death. Ian was Kathy's son; Pat his surrogate mother.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a friendship I've pushed and longed for for a good few years ... Denise and Shirley. The widow and the ex-wife of Kevin Wicks. Shirl's the mother of Carly and Dean; Denise their surrogate mother. Tonight, we saw just what a formidable force that duo can and will be.

I loved Denise's support for Shirley, much less Shirley's determination. They had the best scenes, especially when Denise thought to take the picture frame from Shirl by her cardigan sleeves, knowing that some evidence from the killer may have been on the frame. Her quest to trace from whence the frame came, when she found out it had been bought by Kim at the charity shop was bloody brilliant. It has to be Shirley who discovers Heather's killer; it's only right.

The best scene of the night was when she confronted Ben. That's when I longed for the 1950s film phenomenon of Smell-o-Vision, because I'm certain at that moment, Ben shat his pants. Shirley had the motive and the actual event spot on - the heaviness of the frame, the force with which someone would have had to strike Heather's head resulting in her death, the anger and hatred the perp felt at that moment for Heather, wondering aloud who would be angry enough and under what circumstances would someone have killed Heather, all the while Ben's face growing visibly whiter until the very "duff-duff" end when he's thrown a lifeline: Shirley thinks Phil killed Heather.

And at that moment you can see the confusion welter in the wheels turning in Ben's mind - whether he should put her right about the killer's real identity or whether he should just go with the flow and let dear old Dad cop the blame once again. Watch this space - it's about to explode.

Speaking of dear old Dads, Max and Alfie are easily the two most compassionate men on the Square, considering how they've ministered to Ian recently. If Alfie were at his best last night, then Max stepped up to the plate tonight. This is the Max I like best, away from the witless Tanya and his sleazy siblings, Jack the Peg with the wooden third leg and DelBoy. 

Top of my hate list, along with Kat, at the moment is Lollygag Lucy, the rag, bone and hank of hair masquerading as Ian's daughter. What an ungrateful, little bitch who's fallen under the thrall of DelBoy's spawn, Rod-Knee - he of the roving tongue, gaping mouth and plank-style acting. I hope Rod-Knee is kept eminently unlikeable and that he leaves at the end of his six-month stint with Skinny-Legs-And-All in tow.

But she's a ripe liar, Lucy. She knows Ian is ill and she's not so stupid as to not understand what mental illness and a breakdown often entails. More importantly, Bobby wants to see his dad, and Bobby knows the house is Ian's, but Skinny-Ass is too caught up in her own self-importance and her own "empire" to want to let go and show even a morseful of compassion. Ian suffered because Ian didn't know what he was doing or even who he was, sleeping rough and in all elements. But Lucy's suffered

Bullshit.

She's suffered because she didn't have a modicum of common sense telling her to report Ian's disappearance. Chances are, he'd have been found sooner and have been offered the necessary medical help. Instead, she put her faith in Phil and Ben Mitchell and was used remorselessly in an effort to keep Ian out of sight and out of mind. This idiot couldn't even feed her own brother.

And she wishes ian were dead. I'd remember that, were I Ian, for future reference, when he kicks her bony ass onto the street.

And, Lola, please ... what another little bitch. Using "rock ... scissors ... paper" to decide who looks after her baby. She wants a babydaddy, and she wants Jay, although she must know, unless she really is stupid, that Ben's the daddy. Roll on Christmas.

Better than last night, and Sharon's not only retconned, she's overshadowed.

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