Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Slappable and Eminently Stupid Lucy Beale

Cack Jarr AKA Jarkdeluxe  (better JERKdeluxe) is defending the indefensible Lucy Beale on Digital Spy, trying to justify her actions against her ill father and trying to present her in a sympathetic light.

Crock of bullshit.

Lucy is one of the most spoiled and entitled characters in the programme, plus she's not really very bright.

She's done nothing all her adolescent life other than undermine Ian and treat him like shit. Ian isn't entirely blameless. He spoiled his children rotten and actually left Jane, his last wife, in absolutely no doubt that she could hold no sway over his children. His house, his furniture, his businesses and his children. Jane was just the skivvy who slept with the boss.

When Ian disappeared, anyone who was eighteen and who aspired to have any sort of common sense would have rung the police and reported Ian missing, then contacted Jane. Jane wouldn't have ferretted Bobby away; instead, she would have dropped everything, including her job and returned to Walford, where she would have stayed until something had been found out about Ian or until he had been found; she would have taken charge of the businesses and sorted something with Ian's creditors. Maybe Christian would have helped.

Instead, she went directly to Phil Mitchell, whose only interest in Ian was to find him in order to prevent him from talking about Ben's confession, the single act which tipped Ian over the edge. He offered nothing to Lucy other than a wad of cash to tide her over and suggestions that she start selling off Ian's assets - as if she could, because everything is in Ian's name. I still want to know how she managed to sell Mandy's car, because the title deed was either in Ian's name or Mandy's. That's technically selling property which doesn't belong to you and that's against the law. But apparently the vast majority of Eastenders' writing room neglects that situation.

Now she's shacked up with Derek's Tadpole, ostensibly enjoying his tadpole, which Tadpole uses freely to keep various females onside. Both are really pretty pathetic as actors. Hetti Bywater thinks that having her mouth hang open variously makes her look sexy or vulnerable. It doesn't. It makes her look deficient. David Witts thinks hanging his mouth open and lolling his tongue about from cheek to cheek makes him look moody and brooding. It doesn't. it also makes him look deficient. They are mouth-breathers.

Joey's backstory is that he's a liar, a cheat and as scummy as his old man, but he thinks he's so far above Derek morally that his shit doesn't stink. He doesn't love Lucy at all, although little Lollygagger think she's hit paydirt with him. He's using her as a means to get back at his old man. The only woman he's even remotely bothered about is his sister and that's a means of control.

Lucy was just some reasonably attractive (and stupid) girl who responded to his charms enough to crawl into bed with him after he paid some of her debts.  That's actually a mild form of prostitution. He's seen she's got a daddy issue and he's manipulated her enough to gain a free place to stay, a bag of bones to sit upon his tadpole nightly and a vantage point from which to keep an eye on his sister and to badger his old man.

It will all end in tears.

Joey is no Dennis Rickman. He's not even fit to clean Dennis Rickman's boots, and he's no vulnerable bad boy. He's simply a better-looking and younger version of his father - a Tadpole to Derek's Toad.

As another commentator with astoundingly more common sense than Cack Jarr AKA JerkJarkdeluxe stated on Digital Spy earlier, I await the day when Ian is hale and hearty enough to kick Joey's' steroidically-enhanced skank ass and the bony ass of his own daughter out of his house and away from his businesses.

No comments:

Post a Comment