First of all, kudos to Sharon Marshall for a brilliant script.
I was on tenterhooks throughout, knowing just exactly what the "duff-duffs" would entail, but the episode moved smoothly and everything fit into place. Even Kim was funny.
First, however, the inevitable bad smell: Katshit.
I hate Kat, and I'm saying that as someone who absolutely adored her character from 2000-2005. Now I hate everything about her. I hate the phony smiles she gives Alfie, I hate her awful dress sense, I hate her inflated tits and her botoxed face. I hate her sneering attitude.
She is, as she proved tonight, a bitch. There was no reason whatsoever to say what she said to Janine about Michael, and there she went again, making out that she and Michael had some great love affair, when all they really had was a tawdry, little, drunken one-night stand. And this colour red, which is the colour of whoredom and the colour they cloak Kat in at the moment. It's as though the writers are trying to convey something to us - red dress, red bra, ueber red lips. All that's lacking is a red light over the door of the Vic.
This character is broken. The writers, imcer Bryan Kirkwood's tutelage, broke her. Irretrievably. She can't be fixed. If she were a horse, they'd shoot her. I hope this shagger storyline ends and ends soon, and when it does, I hope Lorraine Newman has the courage to axe this tired, old tart for good.
The rest of the show was actually thrilling. I didn't know whether to feel sorry for or dislike Shirley's smug attitude and her harping on, at last, about Phil's family being her real family, to the detriment of her own. One has to ask why Shirley's children have abandoned her after she abandoned them, effectively, for Heather. And she's only minutes (in Eastenders' time) from finding out that her "family" have committed the ultimate betrayal of her.
Tick ... tick ... tick ...
I noticed another thing tonight - no Brannings. Not a single one. Rumours were abounding earlier this year that Ben's reveal would involve Derek Branning, but there was nary a one to be seen tonight. And Eastenders was much much the better for their lack.
Instead, we have Denise and Patrick creating the catalyst for the reveal - Patrick, with his gift of Heather's photo, which prompted Ian's reaction, and later Denise, with the reveal of the "weapon." It makes much more sense to involve Denise, especially with her shared history with Shirley.
Without a doubt, however, the star tonight was Ian again, and there was a side offering of the public's view of mental illness. Mo's callous remark, calling Ian "ZZ Top" just shows what a callous, uncompassionate individual she is - the same with Kat's attitude to Janine. It would have been nice for Kat to have recognised the active part she played in the break-up of Janine's marriage to Ryan, which is accounting for a lot of the paranoia Janine is feeling now. Mo was simply callous throughout - the book she was keeping, the superfluous bit of info she just had to tell Alfie about Kat running out on him at his own wedding. That callousness that she and Kat exhibit must come from Mo's side of the family. It certainly wasn't evident in Charlie.
Of course, Phil's worried about controlling Ian. With Phil, it's all about self-survival - him, Jay and Ben - and if that means keeping Ian with them, so be it. He'd even section Ian and lock him away if it meant saving their hides. The theme tonight was "moving on" - forgetting the inconsequential murder of another person, self-preservation must prevail. Even Jay's reverted to that mode now, and it's unattractive.
Another thing I noticed tonight were the presences of chav Lola, Kat and Shirley - Lola is Kat twenty years ago, Kat is Shirley ten years ago, and Shirley's what Kat will become - a drunken doormat clinging to a man who doesn't love her, abandoned by her children. I almost laughed at Alfie suggesting Kat give Janine pointers in motherhood. Alfie did most of the caring for Tommy, and Lola tonight brought a bottle for Lexie, but was intent on downing some booze, herself. And then, there was Shirley, the mother who abandoned her real children for Heather, a friend who was almost a child, and ended up caring for two boys of no blood kinship, who killed her best friend.
There's diving irony there.
And apart from the last scene, the best scene has to be the one between Jean and Ian. I'll be frank. I don't like Jean, and - as someone pointed out - it's obvious that they are turning Jean into a replacement Dot. I'm not sure I like that, because the original was just fine, thank you very much; but still, the scene where Jean spoke to Ian about her own demons and how she dealt with them was poignant, especially Ian's first tearful words, about wanting to tell her something.
I don't think he did, but the ambivalence was shattering.
And finally, the moment when Phil puts an engagement ring on the hand of a woman he doesn't love, but to whom he thinks his fate is tied, only to be interrupted by his one true love, was bloody BRILLIANT!
Sharon does Sharon. Nice one.
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