Monday, September 30, 2013

Scott Maslen Was Right - Review: 30.09.2013

When it rains, it pours.

First, we have Scott Maslen, safe now that he's left the show and obviously burning his bridges, dissing EastEnders, actually saying that Coronation Street was better in the long run, and better because of the BBC budget cuts. Well, yes, that much is true. But it's also better because it's been doing things recently that EastEnders hasn't been doing - like telling stories.

Corrie's youth, such as they are, interact on a regular basis, with the older members of the cast. Rarely do you see that in EastEnders. And actually, Corrie's youth, such as they are, are as unlikeable as EastEnders' mob - if you think about Ches-neh, Ka-teh and the soon-to-depart Ryan. But at least you see Corrie's youth, such as they are, working.

Yes, the budget cuts mean we get ridiculous scenes like people going clubbing at around 5pm, when people don't usually hit the nightclubs before 10pm or so. Budget cuts also mean that we get a lot of emphasis on the youth of EastEnders, such as they are, because they're cheap, which is all we're getting surrounding the return of David Wicks.

Next on the agenda was the eerie clipof the "For Sale" sign on the Vic, creaking in the wind, hoisted on the EastEnders' website yesterday and re-tweeted by DTC, which got the world talking. The third thing to happen was the announcement of two castings tonight at midnight, who have a connection to someone in the Square.

Will they have something to do with the Vic? 

Well, let's look at who won't be buying the Vic. As Phil's selling, it's obvious he needs money. Before any of the shippers shout "Ronnie", she doesn't have a pot to piss in. Besides, if this were any of the Mitchells, there wouldn't be an advertised sale.

It could, conceivably, be a consortium of Janine and Sharon. Sharon could sell her share of the R and R and Janine could be a silent partner. There you'd have the two daughters of two Alpha male Vic landlords continuing the tradition.

However, the Midnight Special indicates new ownership. On the downside, a connection to the Square would mean another Branning - perhaps Gordon and wife? On the slightly less downside, one needs to remember that Dean Wicks was in Australia with a girlfriend and a bar, although how he could immigrate with a criminal record is another grand retcon. Australia ceased to be a convict colony years ago.

Anyway, the minutes are tickinb by.

The Same Old Song.


Carol is a fool. She can also be a right cow. And for once and for all, Carol and David aren't some cutesy cutesy love affair. They are definitely not this generation's Pat and Frank, and anyone - Kirkwood, Newman of Jesus Christ Treadwell-Collins - is retconning the situation if you think they are.

David and Carol were a teenaged attraction which ended up as a bunk-up behind the bike sheds at school and resulted in Bianca. David never ever canoodles Carol unless he's in need of comfort sex. In 1997, they had sex because David was being shunned by the entire Walford population, including his mother and his aunt, because he was instrumental in breaking up his brother's marriage. Carol responded only then because her husband Alan had been unfaithful. 

When David showed up the last time, that sexual encounter happened because he was grieving his mother. David doesn't do commitment, not even with Naomi. It's plausible that, had he succeeded in leaving with her, he'd have dumped her when she served her purpose.

As I've explained and shown three times, David's motto is It's what I do.

The only reason David's playing sweet with Carol now is simply because he has no place to go, no money, nothing. Once something better or someone more attractive comes along, he'll be off. 

What David said to Masood about Carol having the habit of falling in love with him isn't exactly true. What is true is that Carol has the habit of falling in love with most presentable men who show an interest, and for Carol - sorry to be so crude - that means spreading her legs. For what it's worth, Carol is one of the most promiscuous females in the Square.

Bryan Kirkwood would have us believe that David was the love of her life, but David's primary affairs of the heart when he was in Walford in the 1990s were with Sam Mitchell and Cindy Beale. He left a wife and a couple of kids along the way, but if he's been away from the Square for 16 years, you can rest assured that there's an ex-wife somewhere. David's a player, but he's also a runner, and if they settle him down to play grandad, they're doing the character as much a disservice as they've done Sharon.

Two months after David left the last time, Carol was screaming at Bianca for ruining her relationship with Dan Sullivan, who'd then become her ticket to ride. Carol is one who'll love the one she's with until David shows up with some shaggy dog story and gets what he wants until he runs away again.

For the record, David's types are Naomi or all points younger - Roxy, Kirsty Branning, Sadie ...

Time will tell, but neither Masood nor David fit in with Carol, and it's a pity they take Lindsey Coulson along this route. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if he copped off with Whitney.

One thing people should all consider is that David Beale Wicks is a coward, that he also has links with Ian Beale and Janine Butcher. He's a rogue but a loveable rogue and watchable.

The Old Guard.

It was good to see the interaction between Dot, Carol and Sharon. This is the Sharon most people who've watched prior to 2001 knew. At the end of the day, it really was six of one and half dozen of another. And Dot was right about something: originally, Dennis was a nice, little boy - an annoying stageschool kid, but he was presented as, basically, a nice kid. 

A lot of turmoil and uncertainty has happened in his life in the past year, so maybe a bit more delving into why he's like he is, and that needs to be addressed; but at least in this instance, Dot and Sharon met halfway, and it's nice to see them reconciled and reconciled by a character from their own heyday.

This writer got Sharon; I don't know why the others couldn't. Well, yes, I do. It's called laziness.

The Shit.

Notice how many of the characters who've received their P45s are dominating airtime? Ajay bonds with Kamil the day before Kamil returns to Pakistan. And who's accompanying the boy? He's only three.

Still, I suppose it gave Ajay more dialogue than he's had for a year. Kamil is really the cutest kid, and he handles dialogue better than children older than he.

Then there's Alice, who annoys me to no end, especially with those veneers. She's interested in Tamwar, yet she's disappointed sexually, with her only comparison being Michael Moon. Poopy-La-Dim, another departing character who's getting more airtime than she's worth, might be shallow and stupid (loved that Dot told her to clear up her kitchen mess). but she certainly gets that Michael Moon is a psychopath, and that Alice is wrong to put all her hopes in him.

I know this is the beginning of the end of Alice (as well as Poopy) and that Tamwar and Fatboy, much to viewers' dismay, will be left on their own again, but it also emphasizes how shallow both Alice and Poopy are, and how deluded Alice becomes. 

The episode could have been a lot better, but for the teen-angst shit.

1 comment:

  1. Alice has more or less confirmed that Tamwar is nothing more than a make do, boredom shag. She lays there on her back thinking of the psycho.

    Kamil IS the sweetest of any of the kids recent past or present.

    Am I right in thinking that this wasn't the first 'midnight reveal' ? What is the purpose of this ?

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