With apologies to Thomas Hardy:-
And thus the Beales grow in number, for make no mistake, David Wicks is David Beale, brother of Ian, son of Pete and Pat.
An interesting return, if done properly and not retconned as Bryan Kirkwood did. For there is no such endless love as Carol and David. No. They are not this generation's Pat and Frank, and I'll be sorely disappointed if they've returned David Wicks just to settle him down with a cardigan and slippers, playing paterfamilias and Grandad to Carol's Granny.
David Wicks is a dodgy businessman, imprisoned for tax fraud, a player like Max Branning. David only turns to Carol for comfort sex - in the 90s, he sought her out after being caught fucking his brother's wife, Cindy Beale, when he was being shunned by his mother and aunt and waiting for his step-father, Roy Evans, to organise his exile from Walford (he later went onto screw his other brother's wife in New Zealand). When he returned in 2012, his comfort sex came at the expense of his mother's death.
He is also a commitment-phobe. He is the darker Beale brother, and where Ian has his demons, so does David, but of a different sort. Now he's back, his brother's there, not only with Cindy's two grown twins, but also with Cindy's hirsute other child, Cindy the Greek.
Here's some of Boy David's types of women, like Sam Mitchell, for instance:-
Or the big bang that David caused when he banged his sister-in-law, Cindy:-
You know, Sharon wasn't the first to bang two brothers. Cindy had her beaten by a country mile. She banged two brothers and a step-brother.
Then there was this little mistake:-
In fact, as a treat to all those numpties who think EastEnders began with John Yorke, or the 2.0 brigade who think the good stuff started when the retconned Branning brothers and the equally retconned Mitchell sisters ruled the Square, here's a slice from 1996, when David Wicks left the Square the first time. Harken, ye, unto the quality of the show then - and this was when the show was going through a bad phase.
Now do you get what David is? And in the world of EastEnders, leopards don't change their spots.
At the end of that episode, I actually found myself glad to see him back, but I'm sure they'll Grandad him down to the point where he's as unrecogniseable as Sharon - after all, both he and she are from the hinterlands of EastEnders' glory days, and David Wicks is that unspeakable object of derision at the moment on the show - a man.
NicNac Paddywhack Give the Dog a Bone ...
Most of the filler storylines tonight, leading up to the return of the prodigal son of Walford, concerned characters who have been axed, which probably means that their departure is imminent.
Ajay was given the closest thing to a storyline when the bloke who left his wife because she wanted children bonds with Kamil (easily the cutest kid on the show) and has an epiphany moment, realising that he really does want to be a father after all.
My guess is that he'll leave to try to reconcile with his wife, after spending a year filling up the ethnic quota on a politically correct show, never having had any proper character development or nary a soupcon of a storyline. He spent most of his time stumbling about, half hungover and dragging an earphone from his ear. Who created this guy?
The other filler concerned Poopy-La-Dim and Alice, both of whom are for the chop. Fatboy really should be as well, but chance would be a fine thing, since DTC created him. He's another stereotype, which really doesn't exist in the real world. I almost beat the television screen in tonight, so annoyed was I at his incessant cackling.
(Fatboy laughing)
l know some of the segaioli fanbois love her, but the passive-aggressive bully known as Poopy-La-Dim is an awful character. Shallow, insipid, insincere and maddeningly irritating, I hate the way her only way is Essex and in love. The stupid made-up card game, only to properly unite Tamwar and Alice got far too much airtime.
The only interesting thing to come from this charade was Tamwar actually admitting what was putting him off getting more serious with Alice, and what probably did him in with Afia. He's self-conscious about his scars from the fire.
This was the story which never was. Remember Kirkwood's PR blurb about Tamwar being horrifically burned in the fire, in the face, and having to face plastic surgery? Well, for "face" read "back" and that storyline never got off the ground. So are we to believe, via the last uneasy bedroom scene between Alice and Tamwar that she's actually that shallow as to be repulsed by his scars? She's hardly sexually experienced, herself, having only bedded creepy Michael once, and she's only just started drinking, it seems.
Gosh, I actually remember when Tamwar was full of droll wit and zingy one-liners. Come to think of it, Roxy was like that once as well.
Sharon's Biggest Problem ...
Is Dennis.
OK, time for a history lesson now for all the Shannis-shippers on Digital Spy wailing about how Sharon wanted to be a mother for years. Bullshit.
The whole ethos of Sharon, juxtaposed to Michelle, is that she didn't want to be a mother. One of the earliest difficulties she had with Grant, after marrying him, was that he wanted to start a family immediately and she wanted to focus on the Vic. She pretended to go along with his wishes, whilst taking the Pill on the side. (You surely didn't think the Bradley-Stacey situation was original, did you?)
When Grant found out, he smashed up the Vic.
When she left Walford in 1996, she was pregnant by Grant, and as a means to sever her ties with him, she aborted the baby, which led to the ludicrous infertility storyline (which could have netted Sharon several million bucks from suing the abortion clinic that supposedly botched her termination). Actually, that was a stupid storyline. The only way something like that could have happened would have been if Sharon had had a late-term abortion. Let's not even go there.
The Shannis Miracle Baby was a retcon, which - had Tony Jordan had his way - would have been the secret son of Grant Mitchell.
Still, the kid is bringing her down. Why?
Because we never saw Sharon through her pregnancy, the way we did Tiffany Mitchell or Kathy with Ben, or Bianca with Liam or Cindy with the twins or even Lola with Lexi, for those of the more recent hue. We never saw her as the mother of an infant or a toddler, the way we saw Tanya or Zainab. In short, Sharon returned with a six year-old child in a role most long-term viewers didn't recognise.
Dennis is the pretty child of a pretty man. And consider this: Sharon's adoptive parents are dead. Her biological mother rejected her, and she doesn't know her two biological brothers or her biological sister. She never found her birth father. She has no one in the world as blood kin, really, but this child; and she's the only relative he's got. He's had no male role model. She, herself, was a spoiled and feted child. She's bringing up this kid the only way she knows how - by being over-protective and deluded.
However, Dot is one to talk, considering she brought Nick up under almost identical circumstances - without any emotional or psychological support and a husband who was off getting her sister up the duff.
It was wrong of Sharon to impose upon Dot, who could have said no to her last-minute request. But it was also wrong of Dot to continue drinking in front of the kid and to assume she could smoke in front of the child. Yes, that's her home, but you can also bet your bottom dollar that her Branning relations - Jack and Tanya, for example - stipulated that she smoke outside, whenever she babysat Amy or Oscar.
The kid, however, is obnoxious. He was obnoxious from the get-go. Yet another self-conscious stageschool kid, and I'm almost certain they've lightened his hair. This slow-burning storyline has to be leading someway, and I think it's going down the route of wanting a father-figure in his life. That's got to be it.
I did think the scene between the kid and Dot was contrived and badly written. I'm not a believer, myself, but hearing Dennis proclaim that he didn't believe in God or Jesus was quite jarring - inasmuch as this was a replay of the obnoxious Simon Barlow's remarks almost word for word in the wake of Sunita's death to Adi Alahan. His questions were too peart, and Dot was half lit by sherry she was drinking because she knows she's out of her depth with this church warden crap.
The writers aren't taking Sharon down the bitch route as "character development". It's simply that this crop of millenials and Hollyoaks rejects don't get the character. It's also that the child is also bringing her down. I know that TPTB will never have the balls to kill the kid off, but at least, let's dispense with the awful Harry Hickles via recast and have a new Dennis who's seen little and heard even less.
Masood Goes Chav.
I'm sorry. I don't buy Carol and Masood anymore than I buy Carol and David as Love's Young Dream.
There's absolutely no way Masood, a practicing Muslim, would consider any sort of relationship with Carol, who's one of the most venal (albeit likeable) characters on the Square. Masood presiding over a household where Whitney the Walford Mattress brings back a bevy of young bucks to bed in succession? Where Tiffany's mouth rules? I thought the scene where she and Morgan spat their garlic olives back into the bowl was disgusting.
Nope, Masood and Carol are Newman's tip to the fact that, like Ian and Denise, they're two unattached characters who are roughly the same age dynamic and, therefore, were spliced together to make up for the couples that Kirkwood destroyed.
And then Grandad returns.
David BEALE deserved better. Still, Michael French looked good.
Final Observation: This is for the Sharon-Haters band, currently led by EastEnders 2.0 reprobates Zack06, Joe-Zel and the boi who's right hand is his best friend, klendathu.
First of all, it's fine in a debate to bring up Dot's hypocritical parenting in the past, because she was just as bad in defending Nick as Sharon is with Dennis. She defended Nick when he murdered Eddie Royle, an innocent man. In fact, Dot went out to buy heroin to feed Nick's addiction the night he escaped his home and killed Eddie.
Not once, but twice has Nick returned and tried to kill Dot, the last time in a storyline created by Jesus Christ, himself, DTC, when Nick returned with Dottie and, inconceivably,Dottie plotted to kill Dot. Dot forced Peggy into throwing a fundraiser for a wheelchair-bound Nick when Nick wasn't crippled at all.
We can also take situations further - like Bianca's refusing to discipline Tiffany and Morgan when they sabotaged and vandalised Zainab's property, instead laughing at her; or Ian Beale disregarding his wife and allowing Lucy to lie to the police about who shot Jane, then letting his demented son who perpetrated that crime into the Beale home. Or how about the ultimate, the Mitchells, encouraging Sam to escape the country instead of serving time in prison for being an accessory to the murder of Den Watts? Or King Phil covering up Ben's killing of Heather? Or Max knobbling Lucy Beale to get her to drop charges of assault and criminal damage against his precious Lauren?
Let's see ... has Sharon done anything like that?
Shut up.
And thus the Beales grow in number, for make no mistake, David Wicks is David Beale, brother of Ian, son of Pete and Pat.
An interesting return, if done properly and not retconned as Bryan Kirkwood did. For there is no such endless love as Carol and David. No. They are not this generation's Pat and Frank, and I'll be sorely disappointed if they've returned David Wicks just to settle him down with a cardigan and slippers, playing paterfamilias and Grandad to Carol's Granny.
David Wicks is a dodgy businessman, imprisoned for tax fraud, a player like Max Branning. David only turns to Carol for comfort sex - in the 90s, he sought her out after being caught fucking his brother's wife, Cindy Beale, when he was being shunned by his mother and aunt and waiting for his step-father, Roy Evans, to organise his exile from Walford (he later went onto screw his other brother's wife in New Zealand). When he returned in 2012, his comfort sex came at the expense of his mother's death.
He is also a commitment-phobe. He is the darker Beale brother, and where Ian has his demons, so does David, but of a different sort. Now he's back, his brother's there, not only with Cindy's two grown twins, but also with Cindy's hirsute other child, Cindy the Greek.
Here's some of Boy David's types of women, like Sam Mitchell, for instance:-
Or the big bang that David caused when he banged his sister-in-law, Cindy:-
You know, Sharon wasn't the first to bang two brothers. Cindy had her beaten by a country mile. She banged two brothers and a step-brother.
Then there was this little mistake:-
In fact, as a treat to all those numpties who think EastEnders began with John Yorke, or the 2.0 brigade who think the good stuff started when the retconned Branning brothers and the equally retconned Mitchell sisters ruled the Square, here's a slice from 1996, when David Wicks left the Square the first time. Harken, ye, unto the quality of the show then - and this was when the show was going through a bad phase.
Now do you get what David is? And in the world of EastEnders, leopards don't change their spots.
At the end of that episode, I actually found myself glad to see him back, but I'm sure they'll Grandad him down to the point where he's as unrecogniseable as Sharon - after all, both he and she are from the hinterlands of EastEnders' glory days, and David Wicks is that unspeakable object of derision at the moment on the show - a man.
NicNac Paddywhack Give the Dog a Bone ...
Most of the filler storylines tonight, leading up to the return of the prodigal son of Walford, concerned characters who have been axed, which probably means that their departure is imminent.
Ajay was given the closest thing to a storyline when the bloke who left his wife because she wanted children bonds with Kamil (easily the cutest kid on the show) and has an epiphany moment, realising that he really does want to be a father after all.
My guess is that he'll leave to try to reconcile with his wife, after spending a year filling up the ethnic quota on a politically correct show, never having had any proper character development or nary a soupcon of a storyline. He spent most of his time stumbling about, half hungover and dragging an earphone from his ear. Who created this guy?
The other filler concerned Poopy-La-Dim and Alice, both of whom are for the chop. Fatboy really should be as well, but chance would be a fine thing, since DTC created him. He's another stereotype, which really doesn't exist in the real world. I almost beat the television screen in tonight, so annoyed was I at his incessant cackling.
(Fatboy laughing)
l know some of the segaioli fanbois love her, but the passive-aggressive bully known as Poopy-La-Dim is an awful character. Shallow, insipid, insincere and maddeningly irritating, I hate the way her only way is Essex and in love. The stupid made-up card game, only to properly unite Tamwar and Alice got far too much airtime.
The only interesting thing to come from this charade was Tamwar actually admitting what was putting him off getting more serious with Alice, and what probably did him in with Afia. He's self-conscious about his scars from the fire.
This was the story which never was. Remember Kirkwood's PR blurb about Tamwar being horrifically burned in the fire, in the face, and having to face plastic surgery? Well, for "face" read "back" and that storyline never got off the ground. So are we to believe, via the last uneasy bedroom scene between Alice and Tamwar that she's actually that shallow as to be repulsed by his scars? She's hardly sexually experienced, herself, having only bedded creepy Michael once, and she's only just started drinking, it seems.
Gosh, I actually remember when Tamwar was full of droll wit and zingy one-liners. Come to think of it, Roxy was like that once as well.
Sharon's Biggest Problem ...
Is Dennis.
OK, time for a history lesson now for all the Shannis-shippers on Digital Spy wailing about how Sharon wanted to be a mother for years. Bullshit.
The whole ethos of Sharon, juxtaposed to Michelle, is that she didn't want to be a mother. One of the earliest difficulties she had with Grant, after marrying him, was that he wanted to start a family immediately and she wanted to focus on the Vic. She pretended to go along with his wishes, whilst taking the Pill on the side. (You surely didn't think the Bradley-Stacey situation was original, did you?)
When Grant found out, he smashed up the Vic.
When she left Walford in 1996, she was pregnant by Grant, and as a means to sever her ties with him, she aborted the baby, which led to the ludicrous infertility storyline (which could have netted Sharon several million bucks from suing the abortion clinic that supposedly botched her termination). Actually, that was a stupid storyline. The only way something like that could have happened would have been if Sharon had had a late-term abortion. Let's not even go there.
The Shannis Miracle Baby was a retcon, which - had Tony Jordan had his way - would have been the secret son of Grant Mitchell.
Still, the kid is bringing her down. Why?
Because we never saw Sharon through her pregnancy, the way we did Tiffany Mitchell or Kathy with Ben, or Bianca with Liam or Cindy with the twins or even Lola with Lexi, for those of the more recent hue. We never saw her as the mother of an infant or a toddler, the way we saw Tanya or Zainab. In short, Sharon returned with a six year-old child in a role most long-term viewers didn't recognise.
Dennis is the pretty child of a pretty man. And consider this: Sharon's adoptive parents are dead. Her biological mother rejected her, and she doesn't know her two biological brothers or her biological sister. She never found her birth father. She has no one in the world as blood kin, really, but this child; and she's the only relative he's got. He's had no male role model. She, herself, was a spoiled and feted child. She's bringing up this kid the only way she knows how - by being over-protective and deluded.
However, Dot is one to talk, considering she brought Nick up under almost identical circumstances - without any emotional or psychological support and a husband who was off getting her sister up the duff.
It was wrong of Sharon to impose upon Dot, who could have said no to her last-minute request. But it was also wrong of Dot to continue drinking in front of the kid and to assume she could smoke in front of the child. Yes, that's her home, but you can also bet your bottom dollar that her Branning relations - Jack and Tanya, for example - stipulated that she smoke outside, whenever she babysat Amy or Oscar.
The kid, however, is obnoxious. He was obnoxious from the get-go. Yet another self-conscious stageschool kid, and I'm almost certain they've lightened his hair. This slow-burning storyline has to be leading someway, and I think it's going down the route of wanting a father-figure in his life. That's got to be it.
I did think the scene between the kid and Dot was contrived and badly written. I'm not a believer, myself, but hearing Dennis proclaim that he didn't believe in God or Jesus was quite jarring - inasmuch as this was a replay of the obnoxious Simon Barlow's remarks almost word for word in the wake of Sunita's death to Adi Alahan. His questions were too peart, and Dot was half lit by sherry she was drinking because she knows she's out of her depth with this church warden crap.
The writers aren't taking Sharon down the bitch route as "character development". It's simply that this crop of millenials and Hollyoaks rejects don't get the character. It's also that the child is also bringing her down. I know that TPTB will never have the balls to kill the kid off, but at least, let's dispense with the awful Harry Hickles via recast and have a new Dennis who's seen little and heard even less.
Masood Goes Chav.
I'm sorry. I don't buy Carol and Masood anymore than I buy Carol and David as Love's Young Dream.
There's absolutely no way Masood, a practicing Muslim, would consider any sort of relationship with Carol, who's one of the most venal (albeit likeable) characters on the Square. Masood presiding over a household where Whitney the Walford Mattress brings back a bevy of young bucks to bed in succession? Where Tiffany's mouth rules? I thought the scene where she and Morgan spat their garlic olives back into the bowl was disgusting.
Nope, Masood and Carol are Newman's tip to the fact that, like Ian and Denise, they're two unattached characters who are roughly the same age dynamic and, therefore, were spliced together to make up for the couples that Kirkwood destroyed.
And then Grandad returns.
David BEALE deserved better. Still, Michael French looked good.
Final Observation: This is for the Sharon-Haters band, currently led by EastEnders 2.0 reprobates Zack06, Joe-Zel and the boi who's right hand is his best friend, klendathu.
First of all, it's fine in a debate to bring up Dot's hypocritical parenting in the past, because she was just as bad in defending Nick as Sharon is with Dennis. She defended Nick when he murdered Eddie Royle, an innocent man. In fact, Dot went out to buy heroin to feed Nick's addiction the night he escaped his home and killed Eddie.
Not once, but twice has Nick returned and tried to kill Dot, the last time in a storyline created by Jesus Christ, himself, DTC, when Nick returned with Dottie and, inconceivably,Dottie plotted to kill Dot. Dot forced Peggy into throwing a fundraiser for a wheelchair-bound Nick when Nick wasn't crippled at all.
We can also take situations further - like Bianca's refusing to discipline Tiffany and Morgan when they sabotaged and vandalised Zainab's property, instead laughing at her; or Ian Beale disregarding his wife and allowing Lucy to lie to the police about who shot Jane, then letting his demented son who perpetrated that crime into the Beale home. Or how about the ultimate, the Mitchells, encouraging Sam to escape the country instead of serving time in prison for being an accessory to the murder of Den Watts? Or King Phil covering up Ben's killing of Heather? Or Max knobbling Lucy Beale to get her to drop charges of assault and criminal damage against his precious Lauren?
Let's see ... has Sharon done anything like that?
Shut up.
As a smoker myself, I find your comments very interesting. If I were to ask a friend/relative to baby sit in my home (as a non smoker) & ask them to refrain from smoking fair enough but imposing on someone at the last minute - in their home does not give me any right to demand anything - drink or smoking.
ReplyDeleteI would simply refuse - I get the whole passive smoking thing but I am sat relaxing in my home for the evening with a beer & smoke & you have no-one else/where to go then it's on my terms.
Maybe I would promise not to light up a big fat spliff :-) but with that little brat I would find it very difficult to stick to my word & blow the skunk right into his little girly face.
I don't like the kid. Indeed, I don't like any of the speaking children on the show. The sooner TPTB stop thinking that they owe Brooke Kinsella a favour and STOP taking the Tiffs, Bobbys and Dennises from her drama group, the better. Having said that, I'm not a big fan of Dot's either, and I remember some of the stunts she's played. Like buying smack for Nick the night he killed Eddie Royle. No matter what Nick did, and that included trying to kill her twice, she ALWAYS takes him back and makes excuses for him. She did the same with Dotty, when she stole Tiffany's bridesmaid's dress and arranged for Tiff to get caught in the garbage truck. There was a word Dot could have interposed on Sharon when she showed up at Dot's house last-minute like that ... NO. Barring that, she could have called her at the club the moment he started acting up.
DeleteAmy is still my fav child, but I would also agree, Kamil is good also. He doesnt seem to ham it up for the cameras as the others do.
ReplyDeleteBut are we getting younger and younger on the show? We have waaaay to many teens/youth but are we also getting a bit carried away with all the younger kids as well? Was a time when the only ones under 15 were Martin and Vicky, Punk Marys baby and Sue Osmonds baby. (OK, one tragically died, but there was soon another). I dont really remember anymore until you hit the Ian, Michelle, Sharon, etc. age group.
PP
There was also Janine.
DeleteYou are making it so obvious several of the Sharon supporters on DS are you with dozens of accounts.
ReplyDeleteLOL You need a life.
I have NO account on Digital Spy. Ask Forum support if you don't believe me. And whilst you're at it, I leave multiple accounts to the realm of fantasist bullies like yourself and Siobhan.
DeleteI have a very good life. It's obvious to me that anyone who would defend the honour of television characters to the extent that you have is seriously in need of a real life, some social skills, and friends. Oh ... LOL.
Lol catonia/vald/catsmeow or whatever you are calling yourself nowadays, don't judge Emilia by your own standards. You really are very naive to think that one of the shows original characters would need a multiple account holder to maintain her support on a forum, LOL. Go back under your bridge and we all know you are not that old woman you claim to be. I have no doubts that you are a twenty something male, watched since the start my ass. Go wank over Kat's breasts and stop trying to be hip or cool or sick.
DeleteDS Forum member, won't specify because I will be bombarded by hate filled private messages. It will take more than that to get rid of me!!!
Joe_Zel here from DS. (Not Joe-Zel)
ReplyDeleteI'm a Sharon Hater? Where did you get that from? I'm a fan of the character who isn't enjoying the writing being given to her in this current stint.