Friday, October 25, 2013

Amateur Hour - Review: 22.10.2013

Another Glaswegian writer for this show.

I wonder, will the Saviour re-stock the writing room and introduce new storyliners? Will "retcon" be part of the vocabulary?

I'm losing so much faith in this show, simply because it's lost itself. Here we are, awaiting a gaggle of children, a rat-faced B-list poor man's gangsta hardman and a bald comedian, both of whom appear to be different versions of Alfie Moon.

More eponymous tales of doormat men and gobby women.

And the Gospel according to Sonia.

Give me strength.

The Eternal Victim.

Make no mistake. We're supposed to feel sorry for that arrogant, entitled, self-righteous piece of shit known as the Walford Mattress Whitney.

Lest we forget, Whitney has ample form in arrogance and smugness. Remember her deciding that a three year-old's normal assertive behaviour in biting another child in a nursery situation (Amy) constitutes her right to accost the child's parents in the street and give them a lecture on psychological childcare.

When Bianca made it abundantly clear that she would deal with telling Morgan who his father was (a retcon), Whitney decided to make contact with the man in question and introduce Morgan. And that worked out so well, didn't it?

This episode concentrated on what Whitney actually did wrong in the situation. Yes, we know Dennis lied, but the child hasn't always been a liar. In fact, he hasn't always been a bad kid, and maybe if the demoted Ava (who is obviously not the Deputy Head of anything any more) can't be bothered to speak to other staff who dealt with Dennis last year or to find out what's making a seven year-old act out in such a way, then she deserves to lose her job as well.

Fact is, Whitney didn't follow procedure, with the added fact that prior to school that morning, she - Whitney - bullied and threatened Dennis when his mother was out of earshot in what was not only a totally unprofessional demeanor, but very puerile as well. Fact is, Whitney doesn't like Dennis, and if she cannot hide her active dislike of a child she's supervising, then she's in the wrong business.

I'm not surprised that her encounter with Dennis in the Minute Mart frightened the child. At the end of the day, he is a child and she's supposed to be an adult. And why is she surprised that Sharon's defending her child? If Tiffany or Morgan lied about a situation - and they have done re Zainab - Bianca and Carol would go in all guns blazing in defence of them, and they have done.

I liked David's mediation scene with Sharon, especially her reference to him reminding her of Pat, because Pat would have said the same thing to her, trying to build sympathy for poor Whitney, who's had it hard scrapping on the way up ... boohoo. But then, Pat would have had something to say to Whitney about the way she spoke to Dennis, and the snide little bitch undid all the work that David had done by barging into the club and not only bullying Dennis into fright, but also telling him, in no uncertain terms, what she thought of him. Within earshot of the Magic Negro.

The Magic Negro is nothing if not professional. Whitney threatened and frightened Dennis, and she was guilty of gross misconduct. Ava has evidence of that. Dennis may be lying, and that will be found out, but Whitney is guilty of a myriad of gross misconduct; but then, we know that this storyline's outcome will be Saint Whitney being redeemed and reinstated. And Nana Carol is being called home by Tiffany, the over-sexed child.

Notice, however, when poor pitiful Whitney eventually went running to David, she neglected to tell him why she's being investigated and what Ava saw and heard. Instead, Sharon gets all the blame for this. Sharon should get the blame for the appalling way she's raised Dennis, but Ava and Whitney deserve blame for writing a child of seven off as "poison."

I dislike Whitney intensely - an incredibly entitled character who - as she is now - refuses to take responsibility for her actions. She embodies the worst aspects of this Jackson-Butcher family - chavs, no matter how much she tries to scrub up.

En Famille.

Lucy is right. Hairy Cindy the Greek is not a member of the Beale family.

And you get rid of one mouth-breather ...

And another one comes along ...

EastEnders' continuity is improving. Hairy Cindy the Greek is one of a gaggle of female characters who looks like a boy (or a man) in drag.

She is an awful and totally superfluous character who contributes nothing to the programme. Helping in Ian's "family" restaurant? Not only was she serving alcohol (and duly stopped by Ian), she was also serving behind a bar, which was illegal.

And, no, she is not David's daughter.

And where has this myth suddenly arisen that Ian Beale pushes himself to the limit and then decompensates? He's only done that once, really - emotionally, speaking of what happened last year. Previously, he his rock bottom financially when he went bankrupt in 2002, but he never let that affect him emotionally. Instead, it made him stronger and more determined, to the point where he vowed to Laura that he would never take in another person's child as his own. He reiterated that point when Steven returned in 2007-2008, after his ultimate betrayal; and now he's harbouring the daughter of the woman who tried to have him killed?

Yet another character change to suit a storyline.

At least, in this vignette - the restaurant competition which descended into a family slanging match resulting in Ian confessing to Peter that he lied about Max tampering with Carl's car - it was finally acknowledged that David and Ian are brothers. The casual way he admonished Denise for "flirting" with his brother was surprising, considering a few scenes before, Denise was remembering David as Pat's son. Now ... Pat was a pretty mean gossip, and Denise has formerly been a part of Pat's family, married to Simon Wicks's cousin. She would have heard all the family gossip, including how David Beale Wicks slept with his brother's wife, who just happened to be the mother of his other brother's son.

Go figure.

And, for the life of me, I cannot fathom why David's baiting Ian, especially in promoting the insipid romance of two ten year-olds? How long before David tells Bobby that he's his uncle and Tiffany's his cousin?

Yes, the Beales have been re-built, most with new heads, but Ian's character hasn't been improved upon at all.

Sex and Drugs (No Rock'n Roll)

The best scene by miles in this fiasco was Michael's face as he hugged the dippy dumbshit Alice in the Moon kitchen, after telling her that she'd make a wonderful mother. Sheer disdain, although I doubt that would have registered with the dumb little bitch had she seen his face.

Janine keeps hordes of unopened post, including a credit/debit card in a kitchen drawer? And Michael has this card? Remember how he used to love spending her money. Oh, and by the way, there's no such drug as lunazepam, but it's obviously a bogus opiate.

The wheels are in motion, and I can live with this storyline, knowing that Moon will meet his maker and Alice the Goon will be carted off in a catatonic state, most likely.

The Realms of Fantasy.


now identifies herself as head of the Branning household.

It's come to this. EastEnders - epic fail.

1 comment:

  1. Not a bogus opiate, a bogus benzodiazepine