Someone called Shockenders over at the Walford Web Kindergarte & Bully Emporium, states, rather euphorically:-
Shockenders, look up! When EastEnders finished last night and you went to bed, your knickers were left hanging from the ceiling, plastered there by your seminal excitement.
Ava the Rava, a 100% Afro-Caribbean actress engaged to play a bi-racial woman, is a perfect example of a character written exclusively for five episodes, only to have the Executive Producer fall in love with the actress at her audition, hire her on the spot and deem her permanent. An instant permanent character with no backstory, no character arc and no foreseeable storylines. Oh, and for good measure and just because the show doesn't have enough of them, we'll give her an cheeky, unintelligible adolescent son to boot, and we'll pattern his character on a cross between a stereotypical black urban youth, Will Smith in The Fresh Pince of Bel Air and Jimmy "J.J" Walker of "Dyn-o-MITE" fame from the 70s. No place for him? No problem ... we'll just slot him into all the scenes and storylines Jay was supposed to have with Lola, and lump Jay with a real lump, Abi the Dough-Faced girl. They can have a teenaged marriage, and Abi can carry Jay across the threshold.
Nothing for Ava to do? Well, we'll just have her pop up indiscriminately here and there, offering observations and words of wisdom for any and all who care to listen. She'll live on the fringes of a sink council estate - even though she's a Deputy Head teacher on £62k a year, and she'll use any excuse to prowl the corridors of the estate, where she meets poor, pitiful Bianca, who's in a quandry because Liam the Lunk, her pin-headed son, has involved himself with the local gangabanga.
Ava will help her, and resolve her problems, with words of wisdom.
Oh, wait ... I can hear the writing room exclaim. We'll make Ava Walford's version of Bagger Vance. And in one fell swoop, EastEnders gets its very own Magic Negro.
Gotta problem? Don't even bother to seek help. By chance, Ava the Rava will be wafting your way, like your very own guardian angel. She'll stop, offer words of advice and wisdom, fight your corner, and, maybe, if you're lucky, spend a night on your couch. And the good news is that, she's moving into the B and B, amongst all the lowly rejects of the area, just to help and relieve their problems.
Ava is a real anomaly - a deputy head, who would normall earn an average of £62k per annum, somehow allowed to live on the lowest form of council estate - on the better fringes, mind you; but who makes it her purpose in life (as she appears never to go to work) to scour the lanes and alleyways of the Byron estate looking for lost souls.
If I didn't know better, I'd swear Ava the Rava, Magic Negro, isn't who she says she is ...
Well, her storyline did take place over Easter.
In actual fact, TPTB are using Ava as sort of paint-blob character, throwing her up against various characters in need of her patience and wisdom just to see if she works well with them. At the moment, they've thrown her against the two resident Village Idiots - Bianca, whose weeping she soothes, and Billy, who - for some reason - has a crush on her.
Crikey, it's bad enough that they originally presented her as a well-spoken, well-educated professional who'd been brought up in an affluent middle-class area by her white adoptive parents only to reinstate her as the same professional who couldn't speak properly if she tried, uses bad grammar and regularly employs mispronounced Cockney slang (as in "fink" for "think.")
I know there's the unfortunate los.kav on Digital Spy who regularly brags that he swears like a sailor and often uses incorrect grammar with his university students because for some reason he thinks it makes him relevant and less stuffy. Believe me, it only makes you look like a twat or someone on whom education was wasted. Part of a teacher's purpose is to encourage students to aspire to better themselves. Retain your regional accent, but please, use correct grammar, if you're educated. It matters.
Last night, we had the inevitable encounter between Ava and her feckless birth mother Cora the Bora, a drunken old bitch who gave her up for adoption. The adoption storyline, in and of itself, could have been effecive, if it had been done correctly. Adoption, even private adoption, was stringently controlled in the 50s and 60s. There's no way Ava would have been taken at birth from her mother and instantly placed with her adoptive parents and no way in hell a nurse would have told Cora that her child's name was "Ava Hartman" now. (There's also no way Tanya would have found Ava on the internet in less than five minutes, but then there's no way Libby Fox would have found the right Lucas Johnson in a city like London in as little time).
I can easily understand Ava's reluctance to associate with either Cora or Tanya. As much as it has to do with the fact that Ava was put up for adoption, it also has to do with finding that your birth mother and sister are, basically, poor white trash. It's taste. It doesn't help matters that Tanya and Abi the Dough-Faced Girl acted as if they'd just been given their own two personal negro pets. Tanya was disgusting with her faux condescending concern, thinking that Ava would jump at the chance to live at the Big House with the Crosses, and they could all treat it like a slumber party, whilst Abi thought any association with Cock the Cool would give her street cred and she'd be cool by association.
These people are strangers to Ava, and whilst her rude, little wankspittle of a son, whom she obviously didn't teach to speak clearly, might be at home taking advantage of misplaced hospitality from people who are unknown kin, Ava clearly doesn't. Face it, compared to the way TPTB stressed that she was raised, these people are like stuff she'd wipe from the sole of her shoe having stepped on it accidentally.
Someone mentioned on Digital Spy about the chances of Dexter being Ray's son, but this was wiped out as too contrived a storyline. The whole essence of Ava and Cock is contrived.
The storyline would have been far more effective if it had remained 5 episodes in length. Cora found her longlost daughter, who rejected her. Shit happens.
Instead, we now have a Deputy Headteacher with the language of a guttersnipe, the saintliness of Jesus Christ and no storyline, no development and no character arc, with the flimsiest of excuses to move onto the Square, and already the inconsistencies are showing. The last time Ava saw Cora the Bora before Christmas, she told her she'd accepted a new job in Walford, and she might be moving closer by. Turns out, she's been living in Walford all the time, at the nearby Byron Estate and has been since Cock was a little willy.
As well, her house is still standing. Were the police not called for vandalism? The Housing Authority, who would surely have re-housed her? Her insurance company to replace the household items destroyed? Funny, how Ava can live on an estate designed for low-income people, but easily find the £120 per night it will take for her and Cock to reside in the B and B.
And what a coincidence that the drunken old hag is losing one drunken daughter only to gain a rainbow family whose traits of awkwardness, rudeness and obstinance, she reckons are inherited from her. If Ava's not a drunk now, she soon will be.
In point of fact, the only resemblance Ava the Rava bears to Cora the Bora is that they both look like men in drag.
EastEnders has really lost the plot big time.
My love for Ava and Dexter keeps growing. They are such a breath of fresh air in an increasingly tired show.Wow, is the show really this bad that people get pleasure from a mediocre actress and a very bad juvenile (actually someone who's 26 and playing a 20 year-old who hangs out with 16 year-olds) who have no character arc and no developed storyline?
Shockenders, look up! When EastEnders finished last night and you went to bed, your knickers were left hanging from the ceiling, plastered there by your seminal excitement.
Ava the Rava, a 100% Afro-Caribbean actress engaged to play a bi-racial woman, is a perfect example of a character written exclusively for five episodes, only to have the Executive Producer fall in love with the actress at her audition, hire her on the spot and deem her permanent. An instant permanent character with no backstory, no character arc and no foreseeable storylines. Oh, and for good measure and just because the show doesn't have enough of them, we'll give her an cheeky, unintelligible adolescent son to boot, and we'll pattern his character on a cross between a stereotypical black urban youth, Will Smith in The Fresh Pince of Bel Air and Jimmy "J.J" Walker of "Dyn-o-MITE" fame from the 70s. No place for him? No problem ... we'll just slot him into all the scenes and storylines Jay was supposed to have with Lola, and lump Jay with a real lump, Abi the Dough-Faced girl. They can have a teenaged marriage, and Abi can carry Jay across the threshold.
Nothing for Ava to do? Well, we'll just have her pop up indiscriminately here and there, offering observations and words of wisdom for any and all who care to listen. She'll live on the fringes of a sink council estate - even though she's a Deputy Head teacher on £62k a year, and she'll use any excuse to prowl the corridors of the estate, where she meets poor, pitiful Bianca, who's in a quandry because Liam the Lunk, her pin-headed son, has involved himself with the local gangabanga.
Ava will help her, and resolve her problems, with words of wisdom.
Oh, wait ... I can hear the writing room exclaim. We'll make Ava Walford's version of Bagger Vance. And in one fell swoop, EastEnders gets its very own Magic Negro.
Gotta problem? Don't even bother to seek help. By chance, Ava the Rava will be wafting your way, like your very own guardian angel. She'll stop, offer words of advice and wisdom, fight your corner, and, maybe, if you're lucky, spend a night on your couch. And the good news is that, she's moving into the B and B, amongst all the lowly rejects of the area, just to help and relieve their problems.
Ava is a real anomaly - a deputy head, who would normall earn an average of £62k per annum, somehow allowed to live on the lowest form of council estate - on the better fringes, mind you; but who makes it her purpose in life (as she appears never to go to work) to scour the lanes and alleyways of the Byron estate looking for lost souls.
If I didn't know better, I'd swear Ava the Rava, Magic Negro, isn't who she says she is ...
Well, her storyline did take place over Easter.
In actual fact, TPTB are using Ava as sort of paint-blob character, throwing her up against various characters in need of her patience and wisdom just to see if she works well with them. At the moment, they've thrown her against the two resident Village Idiots - Bianca, whose weeping she soothes, and Billy, who - for some reason - has a crush on her.
Crikey, it's bad enough that they originally presented her as a well-spoken, well-educated professional who'd been brought up in an affluent middle-class area by her white adoptive parents only to reinstate her as the same professional who couldn't speak properly if she tried, uses bad grammar and regularly employs mispronounced Cockney slang (as in "fink" for "think.")
I know there's the unfortunate los.kav on Digital Spy who regularly brags that he swears like a sailor and often uses incorrect grammar with his university students because for some reason he thinks it makes him relevant and less stuffy. Believe me, it only makes you look like a twat or someone on whom education was wasted. Part of a teacher's purpose is to encourage students to aspire to better themselves. Retain your regional accent, but please, use correct grammar, if you're educated. It matters.
Last night, we had the inevitable encounter between Ava and her feckless birth mother Cora the Bora, a drunken old bitch who gave her up for adoption. The adoption storyline, in and of itself, could have been effecive, if it had been done correctly. Adoption, even private adoption, was stringently controlled in the 50s and 60s. There's no way Ava would have been taken at birth from her mother and instantly placed with her adoptive parents and no way in hell a nurse would have told Cora that her child's name was "Ava Hartman" now. (There's also no way Tanya would have found Ava on the internet in less than five minutes, but then there's no way Libby Fox would have found the right Lucas Johnson in a city like London in as little time).
I can easily understand Ava's reluctance to associate with either Cora or Tanya. As much as it has to do with the fact that Ava was put up for adoption, it also has to do with finding that your birth mother and sister are, basically, poor white trash. It's taste. It doesn't help matters that Tanya and Abi the Dough-Faced Girl acted as if they'd just been given their own two personal negro pets. Tanya was disgusting with her faux condescending concern, thinking that Ava would jump at the chance to live at the Big House with the Crosses, and they could all treat it like a slumber party, whilst Abi thought any association with Cock the Cool would give her street cred and she'd be cool by association.
These people are strangers to Ava, and whilst her rude, little wankspittle of a son, whom she obviously didn't teach to speak clearly, might be at home taking advantage of misplaced hospitality from people who are unknown kin, Ava clearly doesn't. Face it, compared to the way TPTB stressed that she was raised, these people are like stuff she'd wipe from the sole of her shoe having stepped on it accidentally.
Someone mentioned on Digital Spy about the chances of Dexter being Ray's son, but this was wiped out as too contrived a storyline. The whole essence of Ava and Cock is contrived.
The storyline would have been far more effective if it had remained 5 episodes in length. Cora found her longlost daughter, who rejected her. Shit happens.
Instead, we now have a Deputy Headteacher with the language of a guttersnipe, the saintliness of Jesus Christ and no storyline, no development and no character arc, with the flimsiest of excuses to move onto the Square, and already the inconsistencies are showing. The last time Ava saw Cora the Bora before Christmas, she told her she'd accepted a new job in Walford, and she might be moving closer by. Turns out, she's been living in Walford all the time, at the nearby Byron Estate and has been since Cock was a little willy.
As well, her house is still standing. Were the police not called for vandalism? The Housing Authority, who would surely have re-housed her? Her insurance company to replace the household items destroyed? Funny, how Ava can live on an estate designed for low-income people, but easily find the £120 per night it will take for her and Cock to reside in the B and B.
And what a coincidence that the drunken old hag is losing one drunken daughter only to gain a rainbow family whose traits of awkwardness, rudeness and obstinance, she reckons are inherited from her. If Ava's not a drunk now, she soon will be.
In point of fact, the only resemblance Ava the Rava bears to Cora the Bora is that they both look like men in drag.
EastEnders has really lost the plot big time.
I notice that Dexter opted to stay at what Tanya calls "my house."
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, whose house?
I seem to recall that Jack owns it while Lauren pops over the road to foist the utility bills onto Max, so what position is Tanya in to be Lady Bountiful and offer hospitality to her poor little black rellies? Apparently she pays for nothing.
Surely it would have been polite if she had least cleared it with Jack first, as the house does belong to him.
I rather hope they will remember this fact when Jack leaves. I'd like to see him put it on the market to realise his capital and chuck Tanya, Cora, the two little madams and their assorted cousins/bedfellows out on their arses and on to the street to pay thier way in life for a change.
No, Dexter has clearly noticed that fucking your cousin is perfectly acceptble under that roof, and maybe hopes to get lucky with Abi, despite the fact that she looks like a puddingy thirteen-year-old and he looks mid-twenties at least.
But then Tanya doesn't seem to mind keeping it in the family, does she?
Also, how many bedrooms does that house have? I'll tell you - three. Because when Oscar was born, Lauren was made to move in and share with Abi. Now Cora lives there too, and last night Tanya told Ava that Ava could have "her" room, she would move in with Cora and the girls could have Oscar. So Cora's sharing a room with an innocent like Oscar?
DeleteMaybe Tanya stores half of the population of that house in the attic? Or the cupboard under the stairs, a la Harry Potter?
ReplyDelete