Madame X

OK, so everybody's knickers are twisted - especially *Betty*'s on Walford Web Bully Emporium - about the SoapSquawk revelation that an announcement would be made at midnight concerning the return of a major female character - "blast from the past," it's said.

Embargoed announcements released at midnight centre around only truly major A-List characters.

There can only be one answer to the question of whom Madame X might be.

I'll tell you who she's not:-

• Michelle: Sue Tully doesn't act anymore. She's strictly in directing
• Vicki: Scarlett Johnson's character was not only vile, she was universally unpopular
• Clare Butcher: not even major. We only saw her twice
• Sonia Jackson: She left when her character was spent. Surplus to needs.
• Lorraine Wicks: Not even major, and who could stomach that "Jaw Jaw" accent?
• Melanie Owen: Tamsin Outhwaite's in the West End on stage
• Natalie Evans: Why?
• Suzy Branning: The actress was sacked for not getting along with Diane Parish. Parish is still there.
• April Branning: Aren't there enough Brannings?
• Lynne, Little Mo or Belinda Slater: Again, not needed. The family ran its course. Besides, one's an alcoholic in real life.
• Zoe Slater: Once again, not needed.
• Chelsea Fox: Limpid, lazy character played by a bad actress. We already have one gimp in Jossa, please ... not another.
• Libby Fox: a bitter pill.
• Vanessa Gold: That ship's sailed, besides, she wasn't that established.
• Stacey Slater: Too soon.

There's only one family which needs beefing up at the moment and that's the first family of Walford, the Mitchells.

The lady returning, I'll bet, is Peggy. After all, Barbara Windsor, herself said that TPTB had been contacting her to return for ages.

It's Peggy.

Update: Cindy Beale's fifteen year-old daughter - NOT Ian's, mind you. Another teenager. Just what the show needed. And she looks like Greek Janine Mach II.