For the biggest hypocrite ever seen in Walford:-
This one's for YOU.
Well, that's it, folks. She's gone. And you know something? I was wrong? Oh, not wrong about Tanya, who was one of the most hypocritical, unlikeable women ever to grace the Square, but I was wrong about her leaving line, and for that, I take my hat off to Simon Ashdown.
He had the majority of viewers convinced that Tanya's exit would be all about Lauren, when this episode proved not only that Tanya remains an abject hypocrite, who's learned nothing from her foibles of the past, but that she still puts herself and her needs first.
She is easily the worst mother in Walford. She doesn't understand that the father of her children has rights and a say in those children's welfare. She didn't realise that when she was about to break the law and abscond with them to France courtesy of Brer Jack, and she doesn't understand that now. Tanya's front for leaving Walford was to check Lauren into a drying-out clinic (more about that later), but the real reason was to get away from Max and, once again, to establish herself as the good cop in her children's affections, as opposed to the bad cop that Max was supposed to be. Always.
The supreme irony of this entire situation was Max, for once, is pig in the middle of two desperate, needy, doormat women, both of whom are nothing more than poor white trash liars. Yep, Kirsty lied about the pregnancy, but Tanya was lying right up to the end. In the very end, she couldn't even tell Lauren to her face that she was leaving to put her in the clinic. Max had to do that. I suppose that makes him the big bad wolf again.
And so much for Tanya cleaving herself to Lauren and getting thick as hair on a dog's back with her again (which was a great deal of Lauren's problem anyway, that she was spoiled and mollycoddled by her mother, who undermined her father's attempts at parenting), Lauren will be back in August. Alone. Without Tanya. And with a new set of highlights in her hair. I guess the drying-out clinic must do a sideline in permatan and hair colouring like the educational tour to Costa Rica did with Abi, this to cover up Jacqueline Jossa's big adventure in Mexico.
So if Lauren - who, in Tanya's opinion, clung to her instead of Max - is so attached to Mummy Dearest, why does she return to Walford and Tanya doesn't? My guess would be that Tanya's turned those cow eyes and that sweet girl routine she does so well onto some wealthy doctor at the clinic, and he's set her up in a love nest nearby - maybe even left his wife for the poor, needy little single mum who had to sell her business to fund her daughter's treatment.
That's the first hint of things to come: She's selling Booty, which means the rumours of Rachel Bright leaving the show are probably true, and I can't grieve for that. The YOOF cast needs culling, and Poopy-La-Dim and Fatboy are top of the list of irrelevant characters. There's just so much sweetness and light a person can take from Poppy, and I can't figure out why she was even brought back. In the year since her return, they've done nothing to develop her character past the dimwit TOWIE wannabe she is. The same goes for Ajay. He could fall through a pothole in the Square and not be missed by anyone, even his brother.
This episode encapsulated Tanya's faults to the nth degree. In fact, the beginning of the end occurred on Tuesday, with the discussion with the hepatologist. Tanya was lying then. She opted to speak to the doctor without waiting for Max, which was wrong. Max is Lauren's father. He has a right to know about her health issues and how they can be resolved. The doctor recommended residential care, because she was astute, and could see that the Brannings were dysfunctional, but she was just as judgemental of Tanya as Max. Tanya called the clinic immediately, without waiting to consult Max. In fact, she was in the process of doing so, when he returned to the hospital, and she immediately lied to him, saying she was calling him.
Tanya's a great one for plotting behind Max's back - plotting to take the kids to Europe to live, and now plotting to take everyone to Exeter to be with Lauren whilst she receives treatment and recuperates.
Sorry, I'm lost here.
When a person goes into residential care to recover from an addiction, the last thing that's wanted is family hanging around, especially Tanya hanging around whatever ward Lauren's on, wringing her hands and saying "Awright, dahlin'?" every five minutes and offering little titbits of information to the staff here and there, whilst eyeing up whatever dishy doctor seems to be on duty. Another thing, Lauren is 19 years old. That means she's an adult. Surely, Lauren will have to consent to this procedure, unless she's sectioned as a danger to herself?
As well, I recall when Stacey Slater was sectioned, Jean didn't remove herself physically from Walford to be at Stacey's constant beck-and-call. Often, the family situation is contributory to the addict's addiction - Peggy and Phil were toxic for one another until Peggy suddenly decided to wash her hands of her fiftysomething son and leave him to it; Dot and Nick were another toxic combination.
When the doctor recommended residential care for Lauren, she meant that Lauren needed to be removed from her home environment, which was the prime cause for her drinking dependency. That means removal from a mother who uses drink as a crutch, whom Lauren's seen recently so hung over she didn't remember sleeping with Phil Mitchell; that means removal from a grandmother who keeps a permanent alcoholic buzz going; that means having a family history of an aunt who's a recovering alcoholic, who voluntarily removed herself from contact with her mother and sister because they encouraged her drinking behaviour.
That means removal from an unintelligible asshole lug of a cousin, who thinks it's OK to fuck your cousin and who she allegedly loved so much that his rejection of her led her to double down on drinking. Lauren's latest drinking brouhaha concerns Joey's dumping her - nothing more, nothing less. Her last words out of the house were a plea for Abi to tell Joey what had happened.
Where is Max in all of this? Of course, he's not a saint, but far too often, Max has been made to pay doubly for his sins, when Tanya's got away scotfree. Lauren ran over Max because, ultimately, he had an affair with Stacey, but do Lauren and Abi even realise that Max was married to Rachel and Bradley was about Oscar's age, when Tanya decided she was entitled to Max?
Tanya says Lauren needs to be with her. Well, no, she doesn't. Tanya is the last person with whom Lauren needs to be. These people are acting as though Lauren's drink addiction is something recent, when they've had strong evidence of this for sometime. Even before Kirsty arrived on the scene.
Well, that's it, folks. She's gone. And you know something? I was wrong? Oh, not wrong about Tanya, who was one of the most hypocritical, unlikeable women ever to grace the Square, but I was wrong about her leaving line, and for that, I take my hat off to Simon Ashdown.
He had the majority of viewers convinced that Tanya's exit would be all about Lauren, when this episode proved not only that Tanya remains an abject hypocrite, who's learned nothing from her foibles of the past, but that she still puts herself and her needs first.
She is easily the worst mother in Walford. She doesn't understand that the father of her children has rights and a say in those children's welfare. She didn't realise that when she was about to break the law and abscond with them to France courtesy of Brer Jack, and she doesn't understand that now. Tanya's front for leaving Walford was to check Lauren into a drying-out clinic (more about that later), but the real reason was to get away from Max and, once again, to establish herself as the good cop in her children's affections, as opposed to the bad cop that Max was supposed to be. Always.
The supreme irony of this entire situation was Max, for once, is pig in the middle of two desperate, needy, doormat women, both of whom are nothing more than poor white trash liars. Yep, Kirsty lied about the pregnancy, but Tanya was lying right up to the end. In the very end, she couldn't even tell Lauren to her face that she was leaving to put her in the clinic. Max had to do that. I suppose that makes him the big bad wolf again.
And so much for Tanya cleaving herself to Lauren and getting thick as hair on a dog's back with her again (which was a great deal of Lauren's problem anyway, that she was spoiled and mollycoddled by her mother, who undermined her father's attempts at parenting), Lauren will be back in August. Alone. Without Tanya. And with a new set of highlights in her hair. I guess the drying-out clinic must do a sideline in permatan and hair colouring like the educational tour to Costa Rica did with Abi, this to cover up Jacqueline Jossa's big adventure in Mexico.
So if Lauren - who, in Tanya's opinion, clung to her instead of Max - is so attached to Mummy Dearest, why does she return to Walford and Tanya doesn't? My guess would be that Tanya's turned those cow eyes and that sweet girl routine she does so well onto some wealthy doctor at the clinic, and he's set her up in a love nest nearby - maybe even left his wife for the poor, needy little single mum who had to sell her business to fund her daughter's treatment.
That's the first hint of things to come: She's selling Booty, which means the rumours of Rachel Bright leaving the show are probably true, and I can't grieve for that. The YOOF cast needs culling, and Poopy-La-Dim and Fatboy are top of the list of irrelevant characters. There's just so much sweetness and light a person can take from Poppy, and I can't figure out why she was even brought back. In the year since her return, they've done nothing to develop her character past the dimwit TOWIE wannabe she is. The same goes for Ajay. He could fall through a pothole in the Square and not be missed by anyone, even his brother.
This episode encapsulated Tanya's faults to the nth degree. In fact, the beginning of the end occurred on Tuesday, with the discussion with the hepatologist. Tanya was lying then. She opted to speak to the doctor without waiting for Max, which was wrong. Max is Lauren's father. He has a right to know about her health issues and how they can be resolved. The doctor recommended residential care, because she was astute, and could see that the Brannings were dysfunctional, but she was just as judgemental of Tanya as Max. Tanya called the clinic immediately, without waiting to consult Max. In fact, she was in the process of doing so, when he returned to the hospital, and she immediately lied to him, saying she was calling him.
Tanya's a great one for plotting behind Max's back - plotting to take the kids to Europe to live, and now plotting to take everyone to Exeter to be with Lauren whilst she receives treatment and recuperates.
Sorry, I'm lost here.
When a person goes into residential care to recover from an addiction, the last thing that's wanted is family hanging around, especially Tanya hanging around whatever ward Lauren's on, wringing her hands and saying "Awright, dahlin'?" every five minutes and offering little titbits of information to the staff here and there, whilst eyeing up whatever dishy doctor seems to be on duty. Another thing, Lauren is 19 years old. That means she's an adult. Surely, Lauren will have to consent to this procedure, unless she's sectioned as a danger to herself?
As well, I recall when Stacey Slater was sectioned, Jean didn't remove herself physically from Walford to be at Stacey's constant beck-and-call. Often, the family situation is contributory to the addict's addiction - Peggy and Phil were toxic for one another until Peggy suddenly decided to wash her hands of her fiftysomething son and leave him to it; Dot and Nick were another toxic combination.
When the doctor recommended residential care for Lauren, she meant that Lauren needed to be removed from her home environment, which was the prime cause for her drinking dependency. That means removal from a mother who uses drink as a crutch, whom Lauren's seen recently so hung over she didn't remember sleeping with Phil Mitchell; that means removal from a grandmother who keeps a permanent alcoholic buzz going; that means having a family history of an aunt who's a recovering alcoholic, who voluntarily removed herself from contact with her mother and sister because they encouraged her drinking behaviour.
That means removal from an unintelligible asshole lug of a cousin, who thinks it's OK to fuck your cousin and who she allegedly loved so much that his rejection of her led her to double down on drinking. Lauren's latest drinking brouhaha concerns Joey's dumping her - nothing more, nothing less. Her last words out of the house were a plea for Abi to tell Joey what had happened.
Where is Max in all of this? Of course, he's not a saint, but far too often, Max has been made to pay doubly for his sins, when Tanya's got away scotfree. Lauren ran over Max because, ultimately, he had an affair with Stacey, but do Lauren and Abi even realise that Max was married to Rachel and Bradley was about Oscar's age, when Tanya decided she was entitled to Max?
Tanya says Lauren needs to be with her. Well, no, she doesn't. Tanya is the last person with whom Lauren needs to be. These people are acting as though Lauren's drink addiction is something recent, when they've had strong evidence of this for sometime. Even before Kirsty arrived on the scene.
- Lauren drank with Billie and provided him with the bottle of vodka which ended his life.
- Tanya encouraged Lauren to drink during their "bonding" period when she had her cancer cold. In fact, Tanya thinks Lauren looked after her. She didn't. Tanya was so caught up in her own self-pity that she never once thought of the pressure she put a 17 year-old kid under in keeping her cancer cold a secret. The final straw was when she and Lauren (Lauren illegally) got drunk in the Vic and had to be told off by Carol.
- Lauren was drinking heavily when her 18th birthday arrived. Cora had to drag her, drunk, out of the Vic. Cora then rewarded her own efforts by pouring herself a hefty portion of Max's Scotch. Tanya met them at the door with an oversized glass of wine in her hand.
- Lauren was drinking heavily when she went uptown with Lucy Beale, who genuinely did try to stop her and help her, but all she got was the rough side of Mummy Dearest's tongue.
- Lauren was drunk on New Year's Day 2012 and at Pat's funeral.
All of the above was well before Kirsty arrived on the scene and at the end of the day, Lauren drank because she liked it. She'd seen her mother, her aunt and her grandmother hoist a bottle to their lips and figured if they could do it, then so could she. But at the end of the day, the last person with whom Lauren, at nineteen, needs to be around is Tanya. Seriously. Unless Tanya's made to acknowledge her addiction whilst Lauren's at this clinic, and wouldn't that be a turn-up for the books? Lauren returns to Walford with Oscar, dried out, and Tanya's in the clinic in a padded room, seeing pink elephants flying through the sky and moaning, "Max, Max, please 'elp me."
But Tanya's main plan - which she hasn't shared with anyone but Cora - was to ferret her children out of Walford in the dead of night (which comes quickly, like drunkenness in Albert Square), without a word to Max. She's selling her business, goodness knows how Cora the Bora, who has an aversion to paying rent, would have coped with paying rent to Jack, and she's going. The joke of everything is that she hasn't even told any of the kids - not Abi, who accidentally happened to find this out, and certainly not Lauren, for whom this "sacrifice" is being made.
But then, it's not really about Lauren, is it? It's about Tanya. Which is precisely why she hasn't told Max, because this is the one way she can figuratively kick Max in the balls. Remember that, at the time Abi found out that Tanya was planning to leave, Tanya didn't know that Kirsty wasn't pregnant, so in effect, Tanya was doing a version of what Rachel did to Max, only instead of forbidding Max to see Bradley, Tanya was removing the kids to a place far away where Max couldn't see them. Because this is all Max's fault ...innit?
Or so Tanya believes. Or so she wants to believe.
Kudos to Abi for sticking up for principles. Max does deserve to know what Tanya's planning on doing, and Abi as well, flat out refused to go, under any circumstances. Furthermore, when Max arrived at the door, Abi demanded that Tanya tell Max, but she didn't. Tanya lied again.
The scene in the kitchen made it evident that this escape route was all about Tanya and less about Lauren. Running away like that meant that Tanya didn't have to stay and watch Max play happy families with his current wife and new (non-existent) child; but when she found out there was no child, her anger was directed more at her and her bruised pride, than at Max. But she lied again. To Abi this time. And that's when Abi told Max what he needed to know.
Tanya's entire adult life has been a lie. Caught up in Max's lies about his marital status, thinking herself entitled to a married man, ensnaring a psychologically vulnerable young man into bed with her, hoping to get him to help her murder Max and then cop the blame for it whilst she went on the run - too good to hope that murder attempt would be mentioned.
Yet the lowest thing Tanya did was to tell Abi a bare-faced lie about having told Max her plan ...
Your dad's all right about it.
No, he wasn't. And all those pithy excuses about Max not wanting this treatment yadda yadda, well maybe if Max had heard the options from a health professional, he'd have understood. She was even going to lie to Lauren, telling her they were going away for the weekend to "somewhere peaceful". She'd paper over the cracks later, probably when she was signing the admission forms for Lauren, who'd be led away, kicking and screaming. The thing about an addict is for them to be cured, they have to want help themselves and ask for it. As yet, Lauren hasn't even acknowledged that she's an alcoholic. Just Thursday, which was earlier in the day for this final Tanya episode, Lauren was adamant that she just drank too much and got sick, that she only wanted one more drink, that the "one-more-drink-could-kill-you" admonition was a scare device.
The climax of the episode came in the confrontation between Tanya and Max in the lounge of the Branning home. After heaping all the blame on Max's affairs (which Lauren always seemed to find out about) and her cancer, for Lauren's problems, she somehow blamed Bradley's death on Max? How? Bradley died because Max had an affair with Stacey?
Max had the affair with Stacey, when Stacey and Bradley weren't a couple. Stacey initiated the relationship, and when Stax was brought to light, Bradley divorced Stacey. But then the relationship resumed. Bradley died because his murdering slut of a wife had killed Archie Mitchell, and they were fleeing Walford because the web of discovery was tightening around them, and he was copping the blame for her act. That's why Bradley died. Nothing to do with Max.
Yet the climax was actually hearing Tanya admit to Max that this escape was more about her than about Lauren, that she, in fact, was addicted to Max. She couldn't live with him, and she couldn't live without him. She's convinced that, were they to reconcile, he'd be up to his tricks in no time. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. Max's extra-marital affairs have seemed to lessen in the past couple of years. He was faithful to Tanya and didn't once stray when she couldn't have intercourse whilst recovering, and when he ultimately reconciled with Kirsty, he was faithful to her.
Another good scene was Max's time with Lauren, helping her to pack. I'm glad they had this moment together, and that it was Max who exposed Tanya's lies, but not in a malicious way, to Lauren, explaining how frightened Tanya was for her. I'm also glad that Lauren told Max that she loved him - even though she, too, tried to kill him. She's shown Max far too little respect in the past few years and has been encouraged to do so by her mother. It was a classic moment when Lauren told Tanya that she'd packed some "extra" clothing.
And, finally, the fact that Cora-the-Bora thought that Tanya was "the best of the lot," must mean the rest of them are in a deep vat of shit. Oh yes, I won't miss the way Tanya simpers and says "yeeeeee-aah."
Enter Kirsty, another liar.
Max was at Tanya's a matter of minutes before Kirsty had managed to get herself plastered. She could have remedied one lie with another by saying she'd lost the baby, but kudos to her for owning up to the truth. And the truth was that Max came out of that situation looking like a prize pillock. It seemed that he only stayed with her once he knew, or thought he knew, she was pregnant. Even then, he wasn't certain - first telling her to get an abortion, then relenting and saying he wanted to be with her. Even now, when he dumped her - and her lie was, indeed, a dumpable offence, he's still telling her he has feelings for her. Remember that's what caused Tanya to throw a wobbly and kick Max out when Max got Kirsty to sign the divorce papers and leave Walford the first time.
So it's much the same old same old with Max - still wanting to be with Tanya, but having feelings for Kirsty. Kirsty's lie was low, but Tanya's lies were lower, and the way Tanya and Cora treated her when she turned up on the doorstep only indicated to me that there but for the grace of God go Tanya and Cora in their time. Kirsty is the rough edge of Tanya, the sink estate queen she tries to hide.
Keep in mind that Max still has feelings for Kirsty, and Carl White will be the conduit by which Max is eventually reconciled with her. Watch this space.
But still, Tanya's laid her claim to Max - he's hers, no matter who comes along. Does that mean she'll return? I don't think she will. Jo Joyner's exhausted the character, has no respect left for her and says she's an abysmal parent. Best that Tanya leave and not return. She's not a stand-alone character, and, yes, we get it, she'll always love Max. Max gave up an entire family for Tanya, whereas he'd been divorced and exiled when he found and coupled with Kirsty.
The fact that Tanya looked back at the end, isn't indicative of the fact that she'll return. Return to what? To reunite with Max only to break up once again? The only reason she really actually did leave him was the fact that he went bankrupt, not because he was having an affair. She's gone, and the fact that she didn't get Julia's Theme means nothing. It simply means she wasn't really that important a character in the long run. Zainab? Yes, she was the heart and sould of the Masood family, and they've been nothing without her; but take Tanya away, and you still have Max, the girls, Carol, Joey (puke) and Alice, and Jack for the time being.
With Tanya's departure and Jack's impending one, it's time for the Brannings, as a family and as a force forced upon the viewer, to take a backseat, although I'm sure that Lauren with the tan and highlighted hair will be symbolic of the new, all-loving, all-caring, unselfish Lauren that we're all supposed to love and root for. I hope Max gets what Jake Wood wants for him - being single for a long while.
I hope this departure of this sublimely irritating, annoying and unlikeable character marks the beginning of the end of the Branning empire.
Things happen in threes - Derek, Tanya and next Jack.
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