Let's have a little number, dedicated especially to Kat, Michael and Max, for all their slimey little secrets and annoying little deceptions. Take it away, Boss ...
The song says, "It seems the games I've played have made you strong."
I'd like to think that there are viewers tonight who, although they may not be firm fans of Alfie, Janine or Tanya, would pay good money that they didn't have to see those three people on the receiving end of serial mistreatment, would gain strength from the ueber games of all sorts being played on them at the moment.
Please note that I quoted words from Bruce Springsteen's song and cited his inspiration for the opinions I hold regarding this particular episode. It would have been all to easy for me to rearrange a word or two or snip out a phrase for a particular purpose, pass it off as my own and take a bow. I didn't, but others do.
I digress.
Janine has friends - Whitney, Billy, and now Kim. And their regard for her is touching. She and Billy go back years. She and Whitney have bonded (and I assume this episode was filmed when Shona McGarty was on her suspension); and I've always felt Janine's feigned mere tolerance of Kim masked a friendly affection for her.
We've seen a fragile Janine before, but only when Pat was around, and she's missing Pat desperately. She's fragile enough to cause Billy and Kim concern; but beneath that fragility, Janine knows and recognises that she's being played. She had suspicions from the getgo about Ryan when she found out he was Lily Branning's father; she knew exactly what to expect, and she wasn't wrong - that Pat was, in that instance, was down entirely to Bryan Kirkwood's stupidity.
Her instincts about Michael are right, I think. This relationship, while interesting to watch, I feel has become too contrived in the end. The writers have tried to be too clever with Michael Moon in playing up the mysterious immutability, and, for me, they've made him unlikeable.
Contrast him with the Michael who's discovered Janine is pregnant, who begs her to raise the child with him "like normal people," who tells her he loves her, who discusses the issues they share with her. Both have been let down by important people so much in their lives, especially Janine. All of that, handled correctly, would have made poignant viewing.
Janine is isolated, and Michael knows she is. It's the weapon he uses against her, especially after his proposal and her pre-nuptual agreement. That, and the fact that she's hormonal, not yet recovered from a traumatic, pre-mature birth and a sick baby. He is the ultimate control freak, moving into her businesses and sidelining her to the point that people believe it's actually he who has control of her money.
But you don't play a player, and Janine is the ultimate player. It's actually a pity Charlie Brooks is leaving for a bit. Were the EastEnders' writing room more stocked with ability and integrity, Sharon and Janine should be moved front and centre of the piece, as real Walford royalty - the original Princess who's become the Queen of Walford and the newly-emerged Crown Princess - both Daddy's girls-come-good to the honour of the ghosts of Den Watts and Frank Butcher.
Instead we have, for the most part, a gibbering neurotic cross between Dolly Parton and Diana Dors, and a woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown; however, we saw the better of our gals tonight - Janine's ultimate determination winning out, and Sharon owning that skinny-assed skeletore Lucy Beale.
Michael's spent the past three months, ducking and diving Janine, using the power her money gave him to buy what he wanted - the expensive car for himself, with the "legitimate" excuse that it was a "family" car, the necklace hidden away, which was going to be a "gift" for Scarlett, the "sleek, sexy" Porsche for his "sleek, sexy" wife, as a diversion to keep her off the scent, the purchase of the old Beale flat as an "investment" for Scarlett. All done, I suppose, as safe "investments" in his name.
I actually believe now what Michael told Katshit on his wedding day was the truth now - that he doesn't love Janine or the baby, for that matter. He wants to control Janine. He wants to break her and then, as he stated tonight, dump her, whilst retaining her fortune and probably their child (children are much easier to control), and we know how charming he can be - he charmed Jean, didn't he? It wouldn't be difficult at all to get the peasants believing myths about "evil Janine" again.
But tonight, Janine played him at his own game, and he was spooked - gift after gift arriving, the clock that didn't work, stopped at 8:00.
His rant in Tuesday's episode about marriage and tonight about time was indicative of someone afraid of losing control, but he's about to have the ultimate challenge handed him by Janine, although what she will do will break her heart.
I hope when she returns in the spring, she is stronger and wins the ultimate game over Michael, without having the local yokels brand her "evil Janine" and a pariah. I have a feeling that by the time Janine returns, I'll be ready to welcome her back, but more than ready to say good-bye to the contrived enigma that is Michael Moon - a psychopath, a control freak, man of mystery to the point of actually becoming a caricature.
And although the scene tonight where he enters the pub with a toy and a whim to see Tommy was contrived to make the punters think that Michael was Kat's Shaggerman, maybe the two do deserve each other, because they have hearts of absolute and pure stone - two narcissists who care nothing about no one except themselves and what benefits them. They deserve each other.
But he's not Shaggerman.
It's Derek.
Tonight was double-edged sword night too, when it comes to dialogue. Of course, this was the episode where the penny dropped for Alfie. At least the end of Shaggerman (but with the "reveal" on delay) will mean the end of Kat shoving that damned mobile phone down her tits.
It was good seeing her scared shitless tonight as Shaggerman moved closer to her comfort zone. Shaggerman "loves" her, and that could only mean Derek, no matter how clever the writers think they are showing the odd scene of Michael rising from his marital bed to answer a phonecall, Max worrying with his phone in the early hours of the morning, Jack with the ubiquitous beefcake shot at his doorway. Michael is more concerned with scamming his wife; Max knocked Roxy back, and Roxy is quality compared to Kat; Jack's sniffing around Sharon's knickers.
Out from his kitchen strode greasy Derek, comfortable in his toadskin and leering later over the bar at Kat. Derek is Shaggerman.
However, you could feel the net closing in on Kat, frantically hiding behind the good wife image, paying attention to Tommy for once, trying to destroy the flowers. Actually, it was the flowers which had Alfie thinking all this time. Katshit has taken him so for granted that she's forgotten one thing - that Alfie, more than anyone bar Charlie, can read her like a book. He's been there and done that before and he knows the signs. The flowers, and then the exchange between her and Michael, followed by Michael's sick joke to Alfie about trading Janine and her millions in for Kat in exchange - all of this subsequent to that heart-in-mouth moment when Kat thought Jean's wittering meant that she had sussed that Kat was having an affair.
I feel no sympathy for Kat, although I have a sneaking suspicion that TPTB still want us to see her as the victim in all of this. She's such a cowardly slut and a liar - her initial denial was nothing about protecting Alfie and all about protecting her comfort level. She'd ideally like her cake and to be able to eat it also - lording it over everyone at the pub, playing the loyal wife to Alfie whilst sneaking off for a quick fuck at the Shagflat; but Shaggerman's getting bolder, and that may have been what was behind Derek's ruminations about "moving on" tonight. He could hardly hope to remain in Walford after snaking someone else's wife, could he?
The final scene between Alfie and Kat will probably receive its share of criticism from Katapologists like vald
and Louisiana
The song says, "It seems the games I've played have made you strong."
I'd like to think that there are viewers tonight who, although they may not be firm fans of Alfie, Janine or Tanya, would pay good money that they didn't have to see those three people on the receiving end of serial mistreatment, would gain strength from the ueber games of all sorts being played on them at the moment.
Please note that I quoted words from Bruce Springsteen's song and cited his inspiration for the opinions I hold regarding this particular episode. It would have been all to easy for me to rearrange a word or two or snip out a phrase for a particular purpose, pass it off as my own and take a bow. I didn't, but others do.
I digress.
Janine has friends - Whitney, Billy, and now Kim. And their regard for her is touching. She and Billy go back years. She and Whitney have bonded (and I assume this episode was filmed when Shona McGarty was on her suspension); and I've always felt Janine's feigned mere tolerance of Kim masked a friendly affection for her.
We've seen a fragile Janine before, but only when Pat was around, and she's missing Pat desperately. She's fragile enough to cause Billy and Kim concern; but beneath that fragility, Janine knows and recognises that she's being played. She had suspicions from the getgo about Ryan when she found out he was Lily Branning's father; she knew exactly what to expect, and she wasn't wrong - that Pat was, in that instance, was down entirely to Bryan Kirkwood's stupidity.
Her instincts about Michael are right, I think. This relationship, while interesting to watch, I feel has become too contrived in the end. The writers have tried to be too clever with Michael Moon in playing up the mysterious immutability, and, for me, they've made him unlikeable.
Contrast him with the Michael who's discovered Janine is pregnant, who begs her to raise the child with him "like normal people," who tells her he loves her, who discusses the issues they share with her. Both have been let down by important people so much in their lives, especially Janine. All of that, handled correctly, would have made poignant viewing.
Janine is isolated, and Michael knows she is. It's the weapon he uses against her, especially after his proposal and her pre-nuptual agreement. That, and the fact that she's hormonal, not yet recovered from a traumatic, pre-mature birth and a sick baby. He is the ultimate control freak, moving into her businesses and sidelining her to the point that people believe it's actually he who has control of her money.
But you don't play a player, and Janine is the ultimate player. It's actually a pity Charlie Brooks is leaving for a bit. Were the EastEnders' writing room more stocked with ability and integrity, Sharon and Janine should be moved front and centre of the piece, as real Walford royalty - the original Princess who's become the Queen of Walford and the newly-emerged Crown Princess - both Daddy's girls-come-good to the honour of the ghosts of Den Watts and Frank Butcher.
Instead we have, for the most part, a gibbering neurotic cross between Dolly Parton and Diana Dors, and a woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown; however, we saw the better of our gals tonight - Janine's ultimate determination winning out, and Sharon owning that skinny-assed skeletore Lucy Beale.
Michael's spent the past three months, ducking and diving Janine, using the power her money gave him to buy what he wanted - the expensive car for himself, with the "legitimate" excuse that it was a "family" car, the necklace hidden away, which was going to be a "gift" for Scarlett, the "sleek, sexy" Porsche for his "sleek, sexy" wife, as a diversion to keep her off the scent, the purchase of the old Beale flat as an "investment" for Scarlett. All done, I suppose, as safe "investments" in his name.
I actually believe now what Michael told Katshit on his wedding day was the truth now - that he doesn't love Janine or the baby, for that matter. He wants to control Janine. He wants to break her and then, as he stated tonight, dump her, whilst retaining her fortune and probably their child (children are much easier to control), and we know how charming he can be - he charmed Jean, didn't he? It wouldn't be difficult at all to get the peasants believing myths about "evil Janine" again.
But tonight, Janine played him at his own game, and he was spooked - gift after gift arriving, the clock that didn't work, stopped at 8:00.
His rant in Tuesday's episode about marriage and tonight about time was indicative of someone afraid of losing control, but he's about to have the ultimate challenge handed him by Janine, although what she will do will break her heart.
I hope when she returns in the spring, she is stronger and wins the ultimate game over Michael, without having the local yokels brand her "evil Janine" and a pariah. I have a feeling that by the time Janine returns, I'll be ready to welcome her back, but more than ready to say good-bye to the contrived enigma that is Michael Moon - a psychopath, a control freak, man of mystery to the point of actually becoming a caricature.
And although the scene tonight where he enters the pub with a toy and a whim to see Tommy was contrived to make the punters think that Michael was Kat's Shaggerman, maybe the two do deserve each other, because they have hearts of absolute and pure stone - two narcissists who care nothing about no one except themselves and what benefits them. They deserve each other.
But he's not Shaggerman.
It's Derek.
Tonight was double-edged sword night too, when it comes to dialogue. Of course, this was the episode where the penny dropped for Alfie. At least the end of Shaggerman (but with the "reveal" on delay) will mean the end of Kat shoving that damned mobile phone down her tits.
It was good seeing her scared shitless tonight as Shaggerman moved closer to her comfort zone. Shaggerman "loves" her, and that could only mean Derek, no matter how clever the writers think they are showing the odd scene of Michael rising from his marital bed to answer a phonecall, Max worrying with his phone in the early hours of the morning, Jack with the ubiquitous beefcake shot at his doorway. Michael is more concerned with scamming his wife; Max knocked Roxy back, and Roxy is quality compared to Kat; Jack's sniffing around Sharon's knickers.
Out from his kitchen strode greasy Derek, comfortable in his toadskin and leering later over the bar at Kat. Derek is Shaggerman.
However, you could feel the net closing in on Kat, frantically hiding behind the good wife image, paying attention to Tommy for once, trying to destroy the flowers. Actually, it was the flowers which had Alfie thinking all this time. Katshit has taken him so for granted that she's forgotten one thing - that Alfie, more than anyone bar Charlie, can read her like a book. He's been there and done that before and he knows the signs. The flowers, and then the exchange between her and Michael, followed by Michael's sick joke to Alfie about trading Janine and her millions in for Kat in exchange - all of this subsequent to that heart-in-mouth moment when Kat thought Jean's wittering meant that she had sussed that Kat was having an affair.
I feel no sympathy for Kat, although I have a sneaking suspicion that TPTB still want us to see her as the victim in all of this. She's such a cowardly slut and a liar - her initial denial was nothing about protecting Alfie and all about protecting her comfort level. She'd ideally like her cake and to be able to eat it also - lording it over everyone at the pub, playing the loyal wife to Alfie whilst sneaking off for a quick fuck at the Shagflat; but Shaggerman's getting bolder, and that may have been what was behind Derek's ruminations about "moving on" tonight. He could hardly hope to remain in Walford after snaking someone else's wife, could he?
The final scene between Alfie and Kat will probably receive its share of criticism from Katapologists like vald
and Louisiana
who'll probably either diss Alfie as too cloyingly begging or too harsh, but I thought he handled a difficult situation with gentleness and comforting aplomb, as well as twisting a knife which needed twisting to remind his slut of a wife that she afforded him a modicum of dignity.
I am sure Friday will bring the self-victimisation to the fore again, as only Kat knows how to play that game. I hope she's hoist on her own petard, especially reading spoilers from Week 40 that she, rightly, blames herself for losing the Moons' livelihood. The slut.
And finally, we have Max; and I must admit that this an interesting angle in which to lead into the Christmas storyline. Tanya mentioned the "m" word tonight, as well as the "w" word too. (Please tell me she doesn't want another white wedding? After all, this will be her third).
Max is obviously thinking about his other little problem - or maybe two problems - which will prove to be that, during the three months that Lauren the Gurner had banished him from Walford, he managed to invest himself with another wife - for practical purposes other than love, mind you - but, Max being Max, he probably saw fit to have a wedding night, and impregnated the woman from Ukraine or Russia or The Philippines. I suppose this will mean that the Brannings are becoming globalised. More's the pity.
Still, we had our fair share of double-edged swords in this episode, with Max, almost but not quite, admitting to Tanya that what they had just simply wasn't working at the moment; but - again, Max being Max - he chickened out.
I imagine he was angling for a divorce from the unknown Mrs Branning, only to find he's now got another child, which makes the situation all the more difficult. Max being genuinely torn is such an interesting spectacle to watch, because he knows this is all going to end in tears for everyone that he loves the most, including the new child. And Tanya knows the signs as well, but - Tanya being Tanya - she shoves her head up her ample ass and makes a fairy tale of the whole situation, like the fact that Max was so 100 % her type. Well, part of that is true - they are, each, as amoral as the other; but Abi, their youngest daughter, has them both sussed and told Tanya what she and Max really are - two people who scrap the life out of one another and spend the rest of their time reuniting. In that respect, Abi is definitely more mature than her shallow, silly, scrubbed-up chav of a mother.
Other mentions ...
Kudos to Sharon for verbally knocking some sense into Lollygag Lucy's one braincell. Now if she could only work on getting Lucy to shut her mouth and stop hanging it open, that would be nice.
I hated the way Ian has to ask permission from that little piece of shit, even to go to the toilet. Why doesn't she just chain him to the vegetable stall. And, please, EastEnders, two things:-
- Stop showing panning scenes of Lucy Beale walking away from the camera in those tight jeans, and
- Stop dressing her in sleeveless tops.
Lucy Beale
Once again, that brief scene with Sharon tonight showed definitely how well she works with characters with whom she shares history. The Brannings bring her down.
And, finally, "mah-Alice-mah-Angel." I'm waiting for her to get the sack, because she never seems to go to work anymore. Fatboy's another one who needs to go.
Derek is Shaggerman. It'll all come out at Christmas.
Watchable episode.
Finally, it does my heart good to realise my blog is read, judging by the number of outright phrases, ideas and opinions, sometimes lifted word-for-word from context and passed off as other people's ideas. I realise, for egotistical reasons engendered by various fora, that I can't be directly cited, but there is that time-honoured two-word phrase "another source."
Ta muchly though. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, even if plagiarism isn't very clever.
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